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“Satoru does not like to be alone.”
After knowing him for a while, Geto finally comes to this conclusion.
This classmate of his may seem hard to approach at first. He comes from a prominent sorcerer clan with a long history behind their name; from this status alone, it already sets him apart from everybody else around him. Geto can only imagine what kind of upbringing Satoru has from his childhood to this day, a young master from a powerful and rich family, spoiled yet perpetually burdened with expectations at the same time, especially as the first sorcerer in hundreds of years who inherited both the Six Eyes and Limitless techniques at the same time.
He does not think much of others, he speaks carelessly without minding his manners, and he has no qualms about blatantly looking down on those he deems weaker than him. If left on his own accord, it won't take long until he picks a fight with other people, either for fun or due to his thoughtlessness which often clashes with normal propriety.
Why does he bother staying with others if he doesn't like them? Why did he not put a distance between himself and other people, so that he wouldn't need to feel bothered by their presence — or ignorance, if that was how he saw it? — In the past, Geto has thought of this many times. But after watching this classmate of his for a while, he realizes that it is not the case.
Satoru does not hate people. In fact, he enjoys being surrounded by them, even if it means they may come into disagreements every so often.
From his personal experiences, Geto has lost count of how many times he and Satoru have argued over matters big and small, sometimes almost coming to blows. Yet here they are, still spending their days in and out of school, during and after missions together, almost attached at the hips. Satoru has expressed his dislike over being lectured by Geto over his conduct but he still stays with him and laughs together with him, calling him his best friend as if nothing is the matter.
To Geto, this part of him is especially adorable.
“Satoru does not like to do things alone.”
He is insanely strong and he can do anything by himself. Whenever he puts his mind to something, he is sure to achieve a satisfying result without anyone’s help. He is rich enough to afford practically anything he wants without batting an eye. Yet still he prefers to hang out with his schoolmates who are far beneath him in terms of both status and wealth.
He can eat at the finest 3-Michelin-star restaurant but he chooses to eat at a fast food chain with them. He can get all the newest designer clothes to fill his wardrobe but he doesn’t mind shopping for discounted items at regular department stores with them. He can travel the world on a private jet, get the most luxurious treatment anywhere he goes, but still he prefers to play with them after school, going to the karaoke or the arcade like any other normal person out there would.
At first, Geto finds him strange but he soon realizes that it isn’t the quality of the products and services that he seeks, but the companions whom he enjoys the experiences with.
From his personal experiences, Geto has lost count of how many times Satoru accompanies him to places where the common people always gather. He often complains about the cheap quality of the T-shirts being sold at the retail, about the taste of crepes from a random street vendor not being up to his standard, and how irritating the noisy crowds at the cinema are. Yet here he is, still sticking to Geto despite already knowing all the annoyances he would have to face if they were to go together. Satoru has expressed his dissatisfaction with the meals at the restaurants Geto chooses, with the services of shops Geto visits, but he still happily goes with him whenever he can, if it means they can spend their time together.
Though Satoru never says what he truly feels aloud, Geto knows what he is thinking. And to Geto, this part of him is particularly endearing.
He does not know since when, but watching the way Satoru childishly argues with their peers and mischievously teases their teacher now always brings a smile to his face.
He does not know since when, but seeing Satoru eating the same meals he does, nitpicking about every little thing yet still making sure the plate is squeaky clean in the end now gives him a sense of contentment.
The more he watches him, the more his heart seems to swell.
The more he observes him, the more his fondness overflows that his heart can no longer contain it.
And that is why, by the time regret finds its way to him, it is already far too late.
“Satoru does not like to sleep alone.”
Even though each student has been assigned their own room, Satoru will still barge into Geto’s room uninvited. He often stays there for a nap in the afternoon whenever they do not have missions to do, he often drops by to play in the evening and falls asleep there until morning comes instead of returning to his own room.
In the beginning, Geto thought he was simply lonely. For someone who likes to be around people, perhaps staying cooped up all by himself in the bedroom makes him bored. Or perhaps his ever-so-alert Six Eyes makes it difficult for him to have a proper rest. That is why Geto tried to suggest many things to him, thinking that it might help his classmate to have an easier time falling asleep.
“Have you tried listening to music? Have you tried reading a book before sleeping? Have you tried exercising more during the day?” — He has said this to him every time his best friend storms into his bedroom.
But then he realizes that Satoru only ever does this with him and not with anybody else.
Satoru will only sleep on his bed.
Satoru will only nap on his lap.
When it’s cold, he has no qualms about pulling Geto’s blanket for his own use.
When Geto tries to take it back, he will roll around and borrow Geto’s body temperature to warm himself.
He enjoys having his hair stroked when lying down on Geto’s lap; he isn’t worried about drooling all over Geto’s clothes when borrowing his shoulder for a shut-eye.
He has always been unreasonably spoiled but he never behaves this spoiled with other people.
And the more he lets Geto indulge him in his whims, the more that feeling of adoration fills Geto’s heart until it begins to spill.
Until one day, this emotion he has been keeping hidden makes itself known through words that escape his lips before he even knows what he is saying.
“I like you.”
He says that, and in an instant, he wishes he hadn’t.
Satoru stares at him for a moment after hearing those words. He does not say a thing in return. He only stares, then rises to his feet, walking out of the room without so much of a goodbye.
Why does he have to look at Satoru so much? Why does he have to watch everything he says and does, until he falls so hopelessly in love with him that he cannot contain it any longer?
How he wishes he had kept his mouth shut. How he wishes he had continued to keep these feelings to himself.
Yet no matter what he thinks, it is already too late.
From that day onwards, Satoru never returns to visit his room again.
“Geto- san , what do you want for your birthday?”
Bright and full of spirit as usual, Haibara Yu asks him during lunchtime. Geto looks at his junior who is enthusiastically staring at him with those big eyes of his. At a glance, they seem to be sparkling from excitement, and Geto cannot help but smile at him a little.
“Anything’s fine,” he says, casually taking a bite of his bread, “I’ll be happy with whatever you guys choose for me.”
“See? I already told you he’ll say that,” putting a cigarette in her mouth, Ieiri Shoko glances at the younger student, “We should just lay out traps all over the school for him and spray his confused face with confetti by the time he manages to reach the classroom. I bet it would be more fun that way.”
“And you actually think I would fall for those tricks?” Geto laughs at her.
“Aww, then what should we do for Geto- san ’s birthday if even surprises don’t work on him? I’m running out of ideas,” Haibara lets out a long sigh, as if lamenting the vicissitudes of his life, “Nanami, say something! What idea do you have in mind?”
“Buy a cake and sing him a happy birthday, then give him our presents afterward,” Nanami Kento does not bat an eye when answering, keeping his focus solely on the half-eaten sandwich in his hands.
“But that’s so ordinary and boring!”
“It’s the thought that matters.”
It is a fine, sunny day in the midst of winter. The four of them are gathering in an empty classroom, enjoying their lunch together in one of those rare moments when there are no emergencies to take care of, allowing them to spend their lunch break in peace like any other normal high school student out there.
As it happened, Geto’s birthday is coming soon in a few days. Since last week, Haibara has been trying to think of a grand plan to make the day memorable but due to the fact that Geto is someone with no particular preferences for anything, it proves difficult for him to come up with an idea — hence the reason why he ends up resorting to asking the man himself and his other schoolmates about it.
Unfortunately, even this last resort of his has yet to bear the desired result.
“Have you tried asking Gojo about it? He may have an idea, considering how these two are practically two peas in a pod,” Shoko comments nonchalantly. Of course, she does not realize that Geto’s shoulders twitch ever so slightly at the mere mention of that name.
“I wanted to, but he was sent to take care of a mission in another city before I could have the chance to speak with him,” Haibara makes a pouting face, “I bet Gojo- san would have some interesting suggestions to make.”
“Don’t you have his number? You can just text him.”
“Eh? But I don’t want to bother him while he’s working.”
“He can reply whenever he’s free,” Shoko shrugs, “It’s not like he’ll be angry over something like this.”
“Actually, you’re right. I’ll send him a message now.”
Having said this, Haibara reaches into his pocket to pull out his cell phone. Just then, however, Geto pats him on the shoulder and stops the younger student.
“It’s alright. No need to bother Satoru about such a trivial matter,” he smiles, “Nanami is right. Just receiving a cake and seeing you guys singing me happy birthday is more than enough to make me happy. Besides, there are only so many of us here, Yaga- sensei included. I don’t think we have enough people to start a lively party in the first place.”
“Well, since Geto- san says so…” Haibara finally concedes, “But still, we should all give him a present each. Geto- san , if there’s anything you particularly want, please let me know, okay?”
“Where is the surprise if he already knows what you’re going to give him?” Nanami frowns.
“Aww, but it would be great to get something you really want on your birthday, wouldn’t it? I, for one, would be super thrilled if someone said they would treat me to that newly opened all-you-can-eat barbecue restaurant in Shibuya for my birthday.”
Geto listens to his three friends conversing and occasionally roasting each other while silently finishing his meal. They are precious to him and it brings a smile to his face whenever he sees them hanging out together like this, especially now that he knows they are thinking this much to celebrate his birthday.
If only Satoru is here to join them…
“Forget it. He has his own things to take care of and I shouldn’t bother him.”
It has been two weeks since he accidentally, dumbly revealed his feelings. The two of them still attend classes and go to their assigned missions, they still hang out together, play with the others just like their usual routine. Satoru is still his outgoing, lively self, and Geto, too, does not change the way he behaves with and around their friends. In the eyes of others, nothing has happened and is happening between them.
Nobody realizes that Satoru has stopped clinging to him like he usually does.
Nobody realizes that Satoru has been conversing more with others than he has with him.
Of course, such a change in his behavior is but a tiny shift that is not worth anyone’s attention. So what if one of their friends chooses not to put his arms around their other friend anymore? So what if he decides to change the target of his mischief to other people? It isn’t as if the two of them are fighting or not speaking to each other at all, and it isn’t as if this tiny change affects their friendship in any way.
The only person who considers this a major change is Geto and only Geto.
But what does it matter? He should be grateful that Satoru does not hate him after all that. He should be happy enough that Satoru does not look at him in disgust after he betrayed his trust in their friendship like that.
“As long as we can still be friends…”
So he thought, and the next days passed peacefully until the third day of February finally arrived to greet them.
The minute hand of the clock moves past the number twelve as the hour hand stays on ten.
Already dressed in his nightwear, clean and comfortable after an evening shower, Geto turns off the light in his bedroom and walks to his bed. He sits at the side, opening his cell phone to take a look if he has any messages he has yet to respond to before going to sleep.
Certainly, he finds several messages, among them from Shoko and Haibara who sent him pictures they took of Geto’s birthday celebration during the day. While opening the photos one by one, a subtle smile appears on his face.
It was a modest little party but it was fun nonetheless. Right after class ended, Haibara came in bringing a big strawberry cheesecake while loudly singing the “Happy Birthday” song. He already wore a party hat when he came, and behind him, Nanami was following while wearing the same hat of a different color, a complete mismatch with his perpetually stoic face. Yaga- sensei only watched them coming in silence, but as it turned out, he had joined in the plan at some point by letting a bunch of his little cursed corpse dolls play various instruments at Haibara and Nanami’s feet when they walked into the class. It was like a small parade; Shoko clapped her hands and casually started singing along, they popped out the confetti, pulled Geto from his seat to stand in front of the class. After making him blow the candles and cut the cake, they each gave him a present before they finally took a picture together.
He was happy today. Geto does not consider his birthday as something special by itself; the date gains its special meaning because he can spend it with those he cares about. For the celebration and gifts he received, he is immensely grateful.
He only regrets that the one person he wants to see the most isn’t there to celebrate it with him this year.
“Still nothing from him I see.”
Geto closes his phone and puts it back on the table. He has finished scrolling through all his messages, yet not a single one of them was from Satoru. He is supposed to return from his mission today but he still hasn’t arrived now, even if it is almost midnight. Yaga- sensei did mention that the assistant accompanying Satoru reported a delay in their return flight’s schedule, so perhaps that is the reason.
It is good that a delayed flight is the only reason that Satoru hasn’t come back, Geto thinks, as long as he isn’t in trouble or danger.
“Either way, I suppose I won’t hear it from him this year.”
“Happy birthday, Suguru!” — Last year, Satoru said this to him with a huge grin on his face, while draping an arm around Geto’s shoulders and poking his cheek enthusiastically with his index finger. It was such a simple thing, but Geto still remembers how happy he was at the time.
The corners of his lips curl up into a smile at this thought. If others were to see his face right now, they would’ve wondered why he would smile mockingly at himself in silence like a fool. Fortunately, there is no one there to see him — and just like that, Geto lies down on the bed and pulls the blanket over his face.
The minute hand of the clock moves past number six as the hour hand slowly shifts away from ten, heading towards eleven.
“...ru… Suguru…”
Geto is already wandering in the dreamland when he feels his body being shaken lightly, dragging him back to the realm of the living. Sluggishly, he forces open his heavy eyelids, only to be attacked by a bright light in the next second. Geto reels back into the blanket with a grunt, feeling as though he has just been blinded. However, someone grabs his shoulders and shakes him harder.
“Suguru!”
Though delayed, his ears finally catch the voice calling his name and send it to his brain for recognition. It snaps him awake at once. When he opens his eyes this time, he realizes that the lights in his bedroom have been switched on since who knows when, and that a familiar face is staring right at him from his bedside through a pair of round sunglasses.
“...Satoru?”
“Oh, you’re finally awake,” Gojo straightens his back, stretching his limbs while letting out a yawn at the same time, “That’s great. I was thinking of sprinkling cold water on your face had you returned to sleep back there.”
“Why…are you here?”
“Huh? I live here. Why would I not be here?”
“No, I mean… Your mission–”
“It’s done and over with. I should’ve been back in the afternoon but the damn snowstorm wouldn’t let up over there that no planes could take flight,” Gojo said, “Well, that’s not important anymore. Quick, quick, wake up now.”
First, he removes Geto’s blanket. Then he pulls Geto himself by the arms into a sitting position, disregarding how the latter is still looking groggy and swaying after having his slumber suddenly disturbed.
Geto hears a rustling sound afterward. It seems that his classmate has been carrying something with him when he came back, and he is now in the middle of unboxing whatever it is he’s brought. Geto does wonder about it, and it does not take long for his curiosity to be satiated.
“Alright. Here, hold this.”
Out of the blue, a big slice of chocolate cake appears on Geto’s hand, sitting on a paper plate. The sweet and rich fragrance spreads in the room at once; for a moment, Geto can only stare at it, not knowing what he is supposed to do.
Gojo, on the other hand, appears more excited than the one receiving the cake.
“How is it? How is it? Do you like it?” he says, “Oh, wait. I forgot the candle.”
Saying this, he pulls a little candle from the cake box and plants it at the center of the slice. After setting the tiny wick aflame with a lighter, he sits on the bed, right in front of Geto.
“Happy birthday, Suguru!” he says in perfect English, grinning from ear to ear, “Go on, blow it quickly before it melts down to the cake. Don’t forget to make a wish.”
Everything is happening so quickly that Geto’s mind finds it difficult to keep up. At the end of it, however, he sees the little birthday cake in his hands and Gojo’s smiling face in front of him. It may be strange if he tells others about it, but at that moment, it feels like everything he has been worrying about all this time suddenly evaporates into thin air.
Suddenly, They don’t matter anymore.
And so, he blows the little candle on the cake slice.
“Yay!” Gojo claps his hands at the sight.
“Keep it down, Satoru. It’s already late,” Geto tells him but his voice is gentle. He waves his hand above the cake to disperse the residual smoke.
“Who cares about that? It’s time to cut and eat the cake. Wait, I think the store gave me a plastic fork…”
“You want to eat the cake right now?”
“Yeah? Is something wrong with that?”
“No, just… I already brushed my teeth.”
“You can brush them again after this,” ignoring him completely, Gojo picks up a white plastic fork from the cake box and gives it to Geto, “Here you go.”
There is really nothing that can stop this friend of his once he made up his mind, or perhaps indulging Satoru on his whims already comes as a habit to Geto. He receives the fork without complaint and cuts into the edge of the cake. The moment he stuffs the small bite into his mouth, the familiar taste of chocolate, butter, milk, and cream immediately melts on his tongue.
It really is a delicious cake.
“How is it? Does it taste good? Do you like it?” not bothering to hide his curiosity, Gojo shifts forward while peering into Geto’s face as the latter is chewing.
“You haven’t tasted it yourself?”
“I’ve never bought a cake from this shop before, but I saw articles in magazines saying that it’s pretty popular. I was in a hurry to return here and I saw they have a store in the airport, so I just bought one on my way back,” Gojo said, “So? Is it good?”
“Have a taste yourself.”
Geto cuts into the cake again and holds out the fork in the other’s direction. His body does it without thinking that he only realizes what he is doing a good few seconds later. Nevertheless, before he has the time to become flustered, Gojo already opens his mouth and bites into the cake slice offered to him, straight from the exact same fork. Geto can only watch in awe as Gojo chews on the cake and immediately beams with joy.
“It’s so, very delicious!” Gojo says with emphasis on each word, “I have to try their other cakes next time if I come across their store again.”
“Mm. It’s really good. Thanks, Satoru,” Geto tells him, smiling subtly.
“Don’t mention it. Aaah, but I’m glad I could make it in time.”
“In time for what?”
“Your birthday, obviously,” says Gojo, pointing at the clock hanging on the wall above them. The minute hand already moved past number ten while the hour hand is only one more shift away from number twelve. “It was exactly half an hour before midnight by the time I got back to the dormitory. I had to rush here and wake you up before the date changed.”
“You could’ve sent me a message.”
“It won’t feel the same if I didn’t say it in person,” Gojo purses his lips. He takes the plastic fork from Geto’s hand and swiftly steals the last bite of the cake slice on the paper plate. “So? What did you wish for when you blew the candle?”
“Didn’t they say your wish won’t come true if you tell others about it?”
“It’s just a superstition. Come on, tell me. I’m curious!”
“Really, you…” shaking his head, Geto lets out a small laugh, “I didn’t wish for anything.”
“Huh? Why?”
“Because my wish already came true, “ he looks at his best friend and smiles at him, “Welcome back, Satoru.”
“Uhh… Yeah… I’m back…”
Was it just his imagination or did he see Satoru blushing slightly? Geto ponders for a moment but quickly casts the thought aside.
Even if Satoru did blush, it might have been because he was caught off guard. It wasn’t necessarily because of the reason Geto thought it was.
In the meantime, Gojo is scratching the back of his head awkwardly. His expression is hard to read, as if he is mulling over something.
“...So… Suguru…” he says eventually.
“Hmm?”
“I’ve been thinking about it all this time.”
“About what?”
“That… You know…” he starts to mumble, “What you told me the other day, when I was napping here while borrowing your lap.”
Geto feels a thump in his heart. For a split second, the tips of his fingers went slightly numb. He maintains a calm face, however, and smiles in response to his best friend’s remark.
“Oh, that… Don’t worry about it,” he says, quietly avoiding eye contact with Gojo, “I said something weird back then. I’m sorry for bothering you.”
“Hey, how can you say that when I’m–” Gojo raises his voice but stops abruptly. He closes his mouth, averting his gaze to Geto’s surprise.
“Satoru…?”
“...Don’t say that with a smile on your face. It makes me feel really bad,” Gojo says in a small voice, “I was just about to tell you that I’ve been thinking about it, and I want to give you a proper answer.”
“Huh?”
“Well, that was a confession, wasn’t it? I never thought I would hear something like that from you. I didn’t know what to say, and I was afraid I might do something stupid if I stayed. So I ran away.”
“...Oh,” not knowing what he is supposed to say to that, Geto can only stare dumbly at his friend, then looks down to his empty hands, mumbling without being able to think through his words, “I thought… I thought you left because…you didn’t like it…”
“I never said I didn’t like it.”
“You stopped coming by, too, after that.”
“I told you I was afraid I would do something stupid,” again, Gojo purses his lips. Yet his expression softens when he meets Geto’s eyes. “...Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I wasn’t trying to avoid you because I don’t like you.”
Silence falls upon the two of them. Neither knows whether they should be the first one to break the stillness, so they continue to sit there, facing each other, without saying a single word. Is it because they are young and inexperienced? Is it because the safe line known as “friendship” between them has been crossed?
Geto does not know how long they have remained quiet like that. He only knows that all of a sudden, Satoru pokes at his hand several times to get his attention, seeming as though he has to muster his entire courage just to meet his eyes.
“Can I hold your hand?” Gojo asks him.
When Geto gives him a nod, he takes both of Geto’s hands into his own, wrapping his long fingers around them.
“...Your hands are cold,” Geto comments.
“Well, it’s snowing pretty hard outside,” says Gojo. His blue eyes are staring at their now joined hands. “Suguru, can I hug you?”
“...You can.”
And so Gojo closes in even more. He pulls Geto into his arms, slowly but surely tightening his embrace around the other’s back.
Geto can almost feel the chilling smell of freezing snow on his best friend’s body. He stays still for what feels like a long time, thinking to himself.
Satoru’s arms are wrapped around him.
Satoru’s face is resting on his shoulder.
He can feel Satoru’s breath against his ear, faint yet somewhat rapid, as if trying to tell him that deep inside, his heart is also beating just as fast.
And he soon realizes that Satoru isn’t the only one behaving like this.
“...Suguru?”
“No, sorry, I just…” Geto struggles to find the proper words to say. Before he knows it, he has thrown himself into Satoru’s arms, hugging him back and burying his face in the crook of the other’s neck. “Is this… Is this alright?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure?”
“Will I be doing this if I don’t want it?” Geto can hear Satoru’s laugh in his ears, “It took a while for me to realize it, but here I am now.”
“...I like you.”
“Mn, I know.”
“I like you… Satoru…”
“Yeah, me, too. I like you, too, Suguru.”
How simple are those words, yet how hard are they striking at his heart, making his chest feel as though it is about to burst? He has been trying to keep quiet, to push down his emotions so they will not surge out and make themselves known to this person. However, the moment he hears that last sentence leaving his best friend’s mouth, all his efforts become futile.
His fingers clutch tight at Satoru’s back. He curls up, hiding in Satoru’s arms like one who is about to crumble to pieces.
“I like you,” the words echo in his mind again and again, “I like you so much.”
“Suguru,” patting him gently, Gojo tries to make him raise his face, “Suguru, look at me.”
“I don’t want to,” Geto turns away; his voice is almost breaking.
“Come on. Raise your head and look at me,” yet his best friend persists, and a smile of amusement immediately flashes across his expression as soon as their eyes meet, “Hey, what’s the matter? Are you crying? Seriously, Suguru?”
“Shut up…” having no other way to escape, Geto can only use his hand to try blocking the other’s line of sight.
But Gojo avoids it easily. He cups Geto’s face in his cold hands and, in the next moment, presses his lips on Geto’s.
Something sweet spreads to Geto’s tongue then, yet he does not have the chance to notice what it is because Gojo pulls back shortly. He looks at Geto and grins dumbly.
“Can I sleep here tonight?” he asks, but it does not seem like he is going to accept a “no” for an answer.
“......Yaga- sensei will scold you if he discovers that you’re not in your room,” Geto mumbles quietly.
“Then we just don’t have to let him know. Or maybe we can alternate between sleeping in your and my room from now on. Right, I don’t think you’ve ever spent the night at my place before. It’s always me coming all the way here to visit you.”
“As an uninvited guest, yes.”
“Hey! You were happy whenever I came by, weren’t you?”
“I was,” Geto lets out a chuckle, “And I am now.”
They look at each other. Like the opposing end of two magnets, once again, they are drawn toward one another, putting a conclusion to their banter with a kiss.
This time, Geto finally recognizes what that sweet sensation spreading into his mouth is.
Chocolate, butter, milk, and cream — It is the taste of the cake they shared earlier.
“Happy birthday, Suguru,” at this moment, he hears Satoru say softly to him, “Next year, the year after, and in all the coming years, let’s celebrate your birthday together again, you and I.”
The cold smell of freezing snow on Satoru’s body thaws.
On the wall, both the hour and minute hands are pointing at the number twelve. Soon after, the latter slowly departs toward one, marking the end of yesterday and the arrival of tomorrow.
“Next year, the year after, and in all the coming years, I wish to spend this day together with you again.”