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The only bad part of dating Sayaka, Leon thinks, is all the restrictions that come with her status as a Pop star.
He had always thought his industry had gone overboard. They were always nagging him about his hair and his piercings. He’d even gotten flack for his “alternative style.” They'd said it “didn’t match the image the industry wants to present.” But at least he could date! At least it wasn’t part of his job description to be desirable to a bunch of strangers.
Some of the things Sayaka had to do to get her job made his stomach churn. It wasn't only because that was his girlfriend people could buy risqué magazines of either. He knew Sayaka was uncomfortable with it. The music industry was more controlling and manipulative than he had ever imagined.
Sayaka values her group above everything though. So he has no choice but to adhere to her boss’ stupid regulations. No dating outside the Hope’s Peak campus. As far as the general public knows they are simply good friends.
This is the only reason Leon doesn’t say “fuck it” and grab Sayaka’s hand as they walk around the mall. There are always eyes around and the last thing Leon wants is to screw Sayaka over.
Still… he wants to. Leon has dated dozens of girls but he’s never liked any of them as much as he likes Sayaka. It isn’t just attraction with her. Yes, she’s gorgeous, but she’s also snarky, stubborn, and loyal to a fault. She drives him crazy.
“What are you thinking so hard about?”
“Huh?” Leon glances over at her, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. “What do you mean?”
“You’re being quiet,” Sayaka points out, keeping her voice low so only he can hear. Not that he’s worried about their friends overhearing. Taka is rambling so loudly that Leon doubts they’d hear an alarm. “Is something wrong?”
Rocking back on his heels, Leon gives her an easy grin. “Nah, I’m just bored. You know I can’t focus when there’s nothing going on.” Not technically a lie. He is sort of bored. They’ve been to this mall a dozen times already.
Sayaka hums, adjusting her hold on her bags. He’d offer to take them from her but he knows what she’ll say: “People will get suspicious.” Because people knowing he’s dating his girlfriend isn’t allowed.
“Come on,” Sayaka says, a conspiratory smile on her face. She grips his upper arm and leads him away from the others, weaving them between the crowd.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see!”
They start walking through a series of back halls with doors labeled “Employees Only." Leon isn’t against sneaking into places he’s not supposed to be (it’s a hobby of his actually). He doesn't know what’s interesting about sneaking back here though. Or how Sayaka knew about it in the first place.
“One time I snuck in here with my bandmates.” She says, answering his unasked question. “We waited until the mall closed and then we went around and looked in all the unlocked rooms. That’s when we found- ah!”
She walks up to a dark red fire escape door, nonchalant as she stands on her toes. To his shock, she sticks his wallet into the alarm to stop it from going off. “Hey! How did you even-“
Giggling, Sayaka pushes the door open, revealing the room. “You should pay more attention to your surroundings. Now come on!”
He follows her with a grumble, allowing her to coax him into sitting on the edge. It’s not a very tall building but the fall still gives him vertigo. He has to admit he’s a little impressed.
“Interesting enough for you?” Sayaka teases, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear and looking up at the sky. The sun is fully risen now, long clouds streaking across overhead. “I love it up here. It feels… untouchable. Like the whole world has slowed down.”
“It’s pretty awesome,” Leon agrees. He can see what she means. It’s so quiet, the world is so still, that it almost feels like time is on pause. Like it’s only the two of them. “Hey, do you-“ he hesitates. He doesn’t want to ruin the good mood. “Never mind, forget it.”
“Well, now you have to say it!”
She nudges him when he doesn’t say anything and he sighs. He hates that he has to ask. He hates that he has to worry about her telling him no. He knows she likes him but- does she like him as much as he likes her? Chihiro would tell him (gently, because it’s Chihiro) that he’s just being insecure but he can’t help but wonder.
“Nothing! Seriously, it was stupid.” He manages a laugh, reaching up to scratch at the back of his neck and avoid meeting her gaze.
Silence falls over them and he thinks that’s it. He can admit that this is still nice, even with the space between them. Leon doesn’t have many quiet moments in his life, mostly by design. But things are different with Sayaka. Silence isn’t scary with her.
“Hey,” Sayaka says eventually, voice quieter now. She reaches over and laces their hands together, rubbing circles with her thumb into the back of his hand. “You know this is hard for me too, right? I’m not- if my job wasn’t on the line you know I wouldn’t want to hide this, right?”
He opens his mouth to say “Yeah, yeah of course I know that” but he finds he can’t quite manage the words. He flushes, embarrassed. This is fucking stupid. He shouldn’t need reassurance that his goddamn girlfriend likes him.
She leans up against his side, cheek pressing against his shoulder. “You’re my boyfriend Leon; you get to see parts of me no one else does. I know we can’t really… tell anyone outside of school, but that doesn’t mean you don’t matter to me. Okay?”
“But if it wasn’t a rule would you want to be open about it?” He shifts, uncomfortable. “I mean- I just- I don’t know. Sometimes it feels like you're embarrassed of me.”
And that was the crux of it, wasn’t it? Leon didn’t mind staying on the down-low for Sayaka’s job. Her work was her passion and that was something he’d always admired about her. But he's always wondered if her diligence and excessive caution were about… more than just her job.
Leon was aware he could be a lot; he’d had plenty of exes tell him as much. He was loud and impulsive. He got bored easily and was cripplingly indecisive. He wasn’t exactly quick on the uptake either. The number of times he’d offended someone or said something stupid without realizing it were too many to count. Sayaka had always seemed fond when she teased him for these things but fondness only went so far. How long until she grew tired of him?
“Leon, you…” Sayaka sighs, worrying her lower lip as she thinks. “You do really dumb stuff sometimes. You’re so quick to jump from one thing to another in a way I can’t even begin to understand. You drive me insane.” She looks up at him, dark eyes harsh in that determined way they get when she’s set her mind to something. “But I like those things about you. Do you think I would have agreed to date you if I didn’t? I’m not the type to settle and you know it.
“On top of all the stuff that drives me up a wall is all the stuff that I really like about you. You’re so laid-back and calm, sometimes you’re the only one who can talk me down when I start panicking. And- and you make me laugh in a way no one else does. I can tell you like me beyond my popularity; that I’m not a doll or a figure to admire for you. You-” she swallows thickly, face flushing. “You make me feel less alone, okay? I promise I’m not embarrassed by you.”
Leon can’t tell whose face is redder after that speech: hers or his. He watches her fiddle anxiously with her bracelets out of the corner of his eye. Doubts thoroughly assuaged Leon squeezes Sayaka’s hand with his own, shooting her a grin. She gives him a weak smile in return.
And maybe this is enough.
