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Kara missed the high arcs and abodes of Krypton. She missed the zooming vehicles passing by the living room windows. She missed her clothes. She missed the shape of the rooms and hallways, the curve of the windows. She missed traveling to other worlds. She missed the sound of Kryptonian meditation and prayer that spiraled through the air every day.
Clothes were so odd on earth.
Couches were even weirder.
The shape of homes felt all wrong.
The sounds of earth were overwhelming to her reshaped and heightened senses, but none were the sounds she wanted to hear.
Kara was hollow.
Kara has been alone in a pod for twenty-four years. She had mostly been asleep but went through periods of reliving the loss of everything. The fear of floating in that pod for eternity. She made it to earth, but everything was different not just from Krypton, but also from the other worlds she had visited. Most foods were weird. The way the light shifted and changed made no sense. Then her DNA made her different on this planet. She had abilities that added a heavy responsibility to adjusting and hiding herself in this new place, under this awe-inspiring yellow sun. She had to wear oddly designed clothes and an item called glasses so she could learn to control her x-ray vision. She had to hide her intellect. She had to accelerate learning English and bury her accent. She missed hearing Kryptonese even if it was only from her lips. She missed the fabric of settees on Krypton.
Kara was empty.
It took time, but Kara discovered things to enjoy on Earth. The first time it happened was when she snuck out to test out her newfound abilities. She could fly! She could lift cars. She could hear the thrumming of various wildlife’s heartbeats, as she wandered through the woods. She could focus on the flap of a hummingbird’s wings as it drank nectar from a flower in a garden in England while Kara was in California. It was astonishing. She couldn’t feel things through touch as she could before, her DNA had changed, she could no longer feel cold or heat though she had begun to love being in the sun. She could feel it recharging her body in ways other nourishment on this planet could not.
Sometimes Kara thought she was a ghost.
Kara slowly adjusted. She did her prayers at night when the house was asleep. She would read fardhogh after fardhogh some nights and watch films or shows the other nights, learning all she could about this new place. She eventually got comfortable with hugs, especially if they were from Eliza. She even enjoyed her back and forth arguments with Alex for all that they often ended in shouting, it reminded Kara she was alive. Saying her Kryptonian prayers led her to exploring other earth languages, there were so many. How did anyone get anything done on this planet! How was it run?
Kara still felt empty but she had found ways to stay grounded.
When she moved into her apartment, she didn’t have much, but over time she filled it with photographs she took on her many flights visiting countries of the world, she painted, she purchased books she loved, she had way too many board games. The biggest thing for her had been discovering that she could feel ‘cozier’ fabrics more easily with her yellow sun charged cells. So, Kara found the coziest couch and pillows possible. She also made sure she had lounging clothes that were the same. She found cardigans and went a bit crazy with them, but this new discovery awed Kara. It was another way to stay grounded.
Kara never stopped feeling hollow but she never stopped putting in the effort of filling her life with tangible experiences for they were all the more precious after losing her entire family and world. She planned game nights, and karaoke nights, and tried food from every country because she could fly there and eating was a guiltless joy for her now. She made sure to learn almost every language though she loved certain ones more than others.
She would stay up nights listening to music.
Reading books.
Learning to carve little wooden animals.
Watching films.
Painting.
Mastering night time photography.
Sitting on top of the highest building in National City at least once a week to watch the sunset and the stars come out, her eyes always going to the dark space that should be Krypton first and then gazing at all the countless stars. She would look at the lights in all the buildings’ windows and know that individuals, friends, families, were trying to live their lives, just as she was hers. Kara was a beacon for them, the calm in the storm that was this world. In a weird way that both motivated and comforted her.
Kara did her best to live; it seemed a fitting way to honor her survival of Krypton’s death and most of the time the hollowness in her soul stayed quiet.
Kara had purpose in her life both as a reporter and as Supergirl. Even on Krypton, Kara had always wanted to help people; it was why she was so drawn to the science guild. She wanted to help her people, her world. That desire only became amplified when earth’s yellow sun gifted her abilities that augmented her existing talents to help others. Yes, Kara herself, her integrity and caring is what truly helped and saved people, but her abilities made it easier to save kittens out of trees, school kids cross the road, and stop car crashes or help minimize the fallout from natural disasters. It filled Kara with a sense of rightness that she was able to do more than she ever thought she could. For a while, Kara’s life was full she had her jobs, a sense of genuine purpose, and had found hobbies that filled her free time. It was a good life.
It all changed one day without Kara even noticing. Some how she made a friend when she was least looking for one. And certain days, certain moments, seemed lighter and easier. They started to try new coffee shops and restaurants together. They went to the movies.
Eventually they started hanging out together at one another’s apartments. Kara found herself wanting to head home after work, wanting to learn how to make dinner, making sure she had Lena’s favorite snacks and wine on hand. Kara became comfortable at Lena’s place she bought Lena some blankets and a popcorn gift set and Lena always had more than enough snacks in her cabinets for Kara when before they were bare.
It didn’t truly hit Kara until after a particularly terrible battle just how comfortable she was with Lena. Kara wouldn’t let anyone take her home, she insisted on needing some space and immediately flew home without another word. About forty-five minutes later Lena was knocking on her door, once Kara opened the door she saw a a large bag of Chinese food in Lena’s hand.
Kara didn’t even blink she just supersped and took the bag and started to pull everything out while Lena got some plates down from her cabinet. After eating, they were tucked into Kara’s couch with Lena leaning back against Kara while The King and I played on the television screen. Kara let out a sigh a half hour into the film and rested her chin on top of Lena’s head and it was only then that Lena tugged Kara’s arm around her and shifted so she was snuggled deep into Kara.
The wonder did not sink in until Kara had been gone for over a week helping Barry with a tough villain. On her way back to National City, she didn’t want to see Alex, she didn’t want to see her apartment, the only person or place she wanted to be was with Lena. So, Kara shifted her travel route and made for Lena’s penthouse. Kara didn’t know what to expect, all she felt was a need to see Lena, to breath her in, to hold her. Kara landed on the balcony and gently knocked on the sliding glass door. Lena came around the corner from her office and the smile on her face filled the hollow in Kara’s soul, the hollow she had buried, the hollow she thought she had forgotten about. Frankly, it was the hollow, the dark crater she thought, no that she knew, could never be fixed after losing Krypton, but suddenly, her soul was alight and she could not hold back the wide ethereal smile that split across her face.
Lena opened the door and Kara held her breath. She didn’t know if Lena felt what she suddenly knew she had been feeling for months.
Kara had found home.
Kara took a shaky step forward more scared than any villain or enemy had ever caused her to be, “Lena, I…” Kara swallowed the emotion overwhelming her.
But, of course, Lena knew, she knew exactly what Kara was trying to say.
“Kara,” Lena replied, moving into Kara’s arms without hesitation and saying her name like it was the key to unlocking her heart. “Gosh, I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too,” Kara whispered, unable to stop herself from kissing the top of Lena’s head and tightening her arms around her. “Lena, I need to ask you something,” Kara murmured into the cocoon they had created within the blanket of her cape. Lena just hummed her assent. “Will you be my girlfriend?” Kara felt Lena’s breath stop and then felt her arms more tightly wrap around Kara and a whispered ‘yes, please’ before Lena kissed Kara along her jawline.
Kara froze for a moment, letting the wonder of, the magic of, finding something so precious subsume her being. She marveled at the sharpness of missing Krypton, the ache of it, being replaced by the warm and steady embers of a newfound home. Lena was her light, her beacon.
Then Kara shifted and lifted Lena into her arms, Lena’s delighted squeal suffusing the air. They were unabashedly grinning at one another as Kara carried Lena into the apartment.