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William Afton Haters
HelpyStan has added dead™.
dead™ 12:46
I already like the chat name
HelpyStan 12:46
welcome Michael Afton to our team!
anxietyprime 12:46
Hello hello!
readyforfreddy 12:47
hey new guy
hope you have fun fucking dying
dead™ 12:47
thanks! Ive actually died once, 10/10 would recommend
readyforfreddy 12:48
hes perfect
dead™ 12:48
also henry oh my god your username
HelpyStan 12:48
Helpy is hands down my greatest masterpiece. he is my son and I would kill for him
anxietyprime 12:48
Don't you mean die
HelpyStan 12:49
once upon a time I would have
but I'm no longer that benign
dead™ 12:49
thats a lie he apologised when I stepped on his foot last week
HelpyStan 12:50
you apologized when I spilled scalding coffee on you you aren't any better
dead™ 12:50
I cant feel pain but you can
HelpyStan 12:51
Michael do you really think you can hurt me by stepping on me
wait shit that came out wrong
anxietyprime 12:51
Jeremy I'm scared
readyforfreddy 12:51
@HelpyStan how many times has mike stepped on you for you to know that
dead™ 15:52
I'm just gonna,, not say anything
HelpyStan 12:52
@readyforfreddy I can and will fire you
readyforfreddy 12:53
HE DODGED THE QUESTION
ITS CONFIRMED
anxietyprime 12:53
Jeremy apologizes and says he won't do it again
readyforfreddy 12:53
WHAT
WHEN DID I EVER SAY THAT
HelpyStan 12:54
good
readyforfreddy 12:54
STOP IGNORING ME
HelpyStan 12:54
anyhow, how about you introduce yourselves?
readyforfreddy 12:54
not after that why should i
anxietyprime 12:55
I'm Scott Cuthbert, I'm the one that left those training tapes
readyforfreddy 12:55
fuck you you ruined it
dead™ 12:55
holy shit youre the phone guy? I thought you were dead!!
anxietyprime 12:56
Nearly but I managed to live somehow
dead™ 12:57
oh thats good then. I had like half a panic attack when there was nothing in parts & services
anxietyprime 12:57
Sorry
dead™ 12:57
not your fault dw I'm just glad youre alive
readyforfreddy 12:57
im jeremy fitzgerald, i worked the night shift at the location with the toys for around a week before i got moved to the day shift and mangle bit me
dead™ 12:58
ooh yeah I've heard about you
readyforfreddy 12:58
everyone has lmfaoooooo
HelpyStan 12:58
I searched for people who got involved in this mess one way or another to see if they wanted to help me end it for real
HelpyStan 12:59
they deserve the right to see the last of this franchise die in a fire and know it will never hurt anyone again
HelpyStan 13:00
Jeremy and Scott were the only ones that agreed to get their hands dirty, but I'm keeping the others updated
I really don't blame them
dead™ 13:00
that's
actually really nice
dead™ 13:00
but hey quick question, is the fire metaphorical or literal?
HelpyStan 13:00
yes
dead™ 13:01
brilliant
readyforfreddy 13:01
what is that supposed to mean
dead™ 13:01
it means somethingll go up in flames
I hope its my father
anxietyprime 13:01
Oh you mean William?
dead™ 13:02
yes. the bastard bunny himself
HelpyStan 13:02
the depraved creature from hell
dead™ 13:02
the walking corpse rabbit
HelpyStan 13:03
the murderous furry
dead™ 13:03
the victor frankenstein wannabe
HelpyStan 13:03
the man with a literal hate club
dead™ 13:04
possibly the world's worst father
HelpyStan 13:04
the biggest asshole in the afton family
dead™ 13:05
the owner of a closet overflowing with skeletons
HelpyStan 13:05
the minecraft killer bunny but yellow
readyforfreddy 13:06
.
im scared
@anxietyprime where are you
anxietyprime 13:07
Sorry
That last one killed me. I'm dead now
readyforfreddy 13:07
oh rip in peace
dead™ 13:08
actually this gave me an idea
readyforfreddy 13:08
well fuck
dead™ has changed their username to#1aftonhater
#1aftonhater 13:09
perfect
readyforfreddy 13:10
wait, does "afton" refer just to william or to the whole family. because if its the whole family like. arent you an afton too
#1aftonhater 13:10
yes
I hate my father and myself
HelpyStan 13:10
omg same
#1aftonhater 13:10
.
does
#1aftonhater 13:11
does that mean you hate my father and me or
HelpyStan 13:11
nO
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT IM SO SORRY
I also hate your father and MYSELF is what I mean
#1aftonhater 13:11
ooh ok then
HelpyStan 13:12
I just wanted to make a dumb joke
I,m sorry;;:
#1aftonhater 13:12
its fine dw
HelpyStan 13:12
…than;k you,,
readyforfreddy 13:13
wow i never thought henry could crytype
anxietyprime 13:13
Shut up Jeremy that was hardly crytyping
HelpyStan 13:14
oh so that's what that's called
#1aftonhater 13:15
I'm crying (figuratively)
readyforfreddy 13:16
figuratively?
#1aftonhater 13:16
I'm physically unable to cry bc my body can no longer produce tears
readyforfreddy 13:17
sounds kinda annoying
#1aftonhater 13:18
only sometimes really
im usually too dead both inside and outside to bother feeling like crying
anxietyprime 13:18
.
Michael are you ok
#1aftonhater 13:19
lmao no
HelpyStan 13:19
hey cheer up Michael! You achieved what's only a dream to most!
#1aftonhater 13:20
bit scared of what that is but. ok
HelpyStan 13:20
you're dead in soul and in body!
look at me for example.
I am dead on all levels except physical. You're dead on all levels including physical!
HelpyStan 13:21
don't you think that's something to be proud of?
readyforfreddy 13:21
im not sure if youre joking or not
HelpyStan 13:21
I don't know either tbh
oh yeah Michael can you come over to the pizzeria? the parts I ordered for Candy Cadet just arrived and I'm Very Excited to build him
#1aftonhater 13:22
yeah going in a minute
readyforfreddy 13:22
who the fuck is candy cadet
HelpyStan 13:23
he sells candy for moderately cheap, and if you give him a faz token he tells you an upsetting story
readyforfreddy 13:24
henry what the fuck
HelpyStan 13:24
this pizzeria literally exists to mock Freddy's. Let me have fun once in my miserable life
readdyforfreddy 13:25
you built the pizzeria just for that?
HelpyStan 13:25
yeah
anxietyprime 13:25
Wait you didn't know?
readyforfreddy 13:26
was i supposed to??
anxietyprime 13:26
The rockstar animatronics and the mediocre melodies didn't clue you in???
readyforfreddy 13:26
now that you mention it
#1aftonhater 13:26
its ok jeremy I had to stare the egg baby down to realise it
anxietyprime 13:27
Are you kidding me
All these signs and it took you the egg baby to understand
The freaking egg baby
I work with idiots
HelpyStan 13:28
welcome to the club. I felt like that the whole time I had to work with Fazbear Ent. Oh my god they were so stupid
HelpyStan 13:29
just to give you an idea, william and I provided a full manual and they still managed to get fucking hurt with the springlock suits
anxietyprime 13:30
Why do I feel like I just set off a bomb
readyforfreddy 13:30
you probably did
anxietyprime 13:30
Oh god
readyforfreddy 13:30
dw youll probably come out unscathed
anxietyprime 13:31
Jeremy he's still typing
readyforfreddy 13:31
shut it hasnt been that long
anxietyprime 13:32
Jeremy it's been 3 minutes
Jeremy
anxietyprime 13:33
Jeremy please
readyforfreddy 13:34
well what do you want me to do go to the pizzeria and take away his phone??
anxietyprime 13:34
Just don't leave me alone here
readyforfreddy 13:34
jeez henry isnt some monster calm down
anxietyprime 13:35
I'm just absolutely terrified of the wall of text that he's gonna post
readyforfreddy 13:35
just dont read it and youll be fine
readyforfreddy 13:40
@HelpyStan ok that's like 10 minutes you've been typing boss are you ok
anxietyprime 13:40
Maybe he died and it's his corpse that's still typing
readyforfreddy 13:41
id say "wtf" but that image is fucking hilarious
HelpyStan 13:41
“we've had too many accidents with the suits so we're retiring them" my ass! The mechanics were so incompetent I wouldn't trust them to fix some fraying. Actually I'm pretty sure I never saw them fix even that. I requested to have a look at the suits once in 1985 and I could smell the rust from the fucking doorway. I and william took good care of them and guess what? You can count on one hand the amount of injuries we've sustained from them despite wearing them for hours every day. And that's if you count william's death. which I wouldn't because it was in a room it had been fucking raining in for like the whole day. William was a moron in that moment and a prime example of why you should take good care of the suits, which FE did fucking not. Yeah let's ignore the guy with a master's in mechanical engineering! That literally made the fucking robots!! That's a great idea!!! And that's not to mention the state of the animatronics in 93. Their joint caps were gone. you could see their motherfucking endoskeletons without even having to get too close. And they were so dirty. It physically hurt to watch them move did they ever oil their joints at all?? Its a wonder their fuckin voiceboxes survived enough to sing. Watching f.e. """""take care""""" of the animatronics was like watching your house burn down slowly in a world where firefighters dont exist. And the toy animatronics. Oh my f uck i ng god. Who designed them. Who. I want to personally kill them with my own two hands. They were so ugly and badly made. I am forever grateful to the blessed soul who decided to scrap them. Thank you for putting them out of their misery. I'm so glad this all burned down with fazbear fright.
readyforfreddy 13:41
jesus fuck
anxietyprime 13:41
Oh god i was right
HelpyStan 13:42
y'all don't have to read this I just wanted to vent
readyforfreddy 13.42
you cant tell me what to do
readyforfreddy 13:45
ok i read it and my reaction is. still the same
jesus fuck boss
are you ok
HelpyStan 13:45
nothing william ever touched qualifies as "ok"
but sure
HelpyStan 13:47
oh god I just read the messages you sent while I was typing
calm down Scott I'm not dead I think
readyforfreddy 13:47
yeah thats. real reassuring. good job or something
#1aftonhater 13:50
jesus fucking christ what happened here while I was gone
readyforfreddy 13:50
oh hi michael where were you
#1aftonhater 13:50
getting ready & driving
Im in the pizzeria car park now. I was gonna go inside immediately but I wanted to see why my phone was blowing up
kinda regret it now
HelpyStan 13:51
what are you doing just sitting in your car get your ass in here
#1aftonhater 13:51
yessir
anxietyprime 13:51
Oof good luck
readyforfreddy 13:52
oh hey there Scott i thought you died or smth
but yea try not to build a killer animatronic this time
HelpyStan 13:53
we promise nothing
anxietyprime 13:53
I'm fine I was just in shock from henry's. Mother of all walls of text
readyforfreddy 13:53
thats fair
#1aftonhater 19:02
I'm bad at this
we're bad at this
please kill me
readyforfreddy 19:04
what
anxietyprime 19:04
What's going on
#1aftonhater 19:05
it's been five hours and candy cadet has yet to get a storage or a head but helpy now has internet access
readyforfreddy 19:05
what the fuck
HelpyStan has added bean
HelpyStan 19:05
behold!!!
bean 19:05
Hi! :D
readyforfreddy 19:06
oh my god he uses text faces
anxietyprime 19:06
Hello hello Helpy!
readyforfreddy 19:06
yeah! welcome or smth. i dont fuckin know im bad at this
HelpyStan 19:06
Jeremy if you teach him to swear I will end you
bean 19:07
It's ok! I already saw swear words elsewhere on the internet!
I’ve just chosen not to use them in my speech. :)
readyforfreddy 19:07
ok im sobbing hes??? so pure?????
bean 19:08
Thanks! ^~^
#1aftonhater 19:08
henry looks so proud rn you should see him
bean 19:08
:O
@HelpyStan You're proud of me dad?
HelpyStan 19:09
I have always been proud of you Helpy
#1aftonhater 19:09
[📷 Photo]
anxietyprime 19:10
That's the cutest thing I've seen in a while
readyforfreddy 19:10
i love how hes kinda just clinging to henrys neck and henrys hugging him back with one (1) hand
bean 19:10
Dad's got big hands :D
readyforfreddy 19:10
.
anxietyprime 19:10
Jeremy don't you dare
readyforfreddy 19:11
i mean
anxietyprime 19:11
Jeremy
readyforfreddy 19:11
id certainly like to know exactly how big his hands are if you catch my drift
anxietyprime 19:12
Jeremy I swear
bean 19:12
His hand span or hand spread is 24.8cm, or 9.4in!
anxietyprime 19:12
Oh thank god
readyforfreddy 19:12
not what i meant but ill take it
bean 19:13
Oh, I know exactly what you meant, don't worry. I just chose to ignore it. :)
readyforfreddy 19:13
what the fuck why was that so ominous
@HelpyStan your son is harassing me
bean 19:14
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you! :(
anxietyprime 19:14
And now you made him sad good job
readyforfreddy 19:15
fuck
my only hope is that henry never sees this
anxietyprime 19:15
Well you @'d him so
readyforfreddy 19.15
fuck
anxietyprime 19:18
Uh hey Helpy why do you know this hand stuff
bean 19:18
I got bored one day and I was curious, so I decided to measure everyone's hand spans! My own is 8.2cm or 3.2in!
#1aftonhater 19:19
he even asked henry to equip him with measuring tape for it it was really cute
we also found out my hands are freaky like I can literally disconnect the joints
bean 19:20
Michael's "normal" hand span is 23.9cm or 9.4in, just 9mm below dad's, but if he disconnects the joints of his fingers, it can reach 28.3cm or 11.1in!!
#1aftonhater 19:21
and I can still move them normally. being dead does wonders to you
readyforfreddy 19:22
mike every time i look back at you theres a new level of what the fuck to discover
anxietyprime 19:22
How?? How can you move them normally???
#1aftonhater 19:22
no idea
probably ghost bullshit
anxietyprime 19:22
Henry I would like you to know that you and your zombie son are extremely frustrating people
bean 19:23
He's working on Candy Cadet, but I'll let him know! :)
bean 19:24
He said "Scott can kiss my entire ass".
readyforfreddy 19:24
holy shit i cant believe scotts fucking dead
bean 19:25
And now Michael had to sit down because he won't stop laughing. >.>
readyforfreddy 19:25
he got mike too fuck
readyforfreddy 19:37
fuck its quiet here
@anxietyprime are you alive
anxietyprime 19:38
I think so? Pretty sure I am
readyforfreddy 19:38
i swear to god you guys are the worst at being reassuring
HelpyStan 19:51
[📷 Photo]
HelpyStan 19:51
Candy Cadet is ready!!
readyforfreddy 19:52
hes ugly
#1aftonhater 19:52
SEE
I TOLD YOU HENRY
HelpyStan 19:52
Jeremy just has no taste
bean 19:53
I like Candy Cadet! :(
#1aftonhater 19:53
helpy love you like everything henry makes
bean 19:54
Not true!
#1aftonhater 19:54
what has henry ever made that you don't like?
anxietyprime 19:56
I like candy cadet's design
He looks like a half humanized spacified gumball machine
HelpyStan 19:56
thank you! See Michael?
#1aftonhater 19:56
that doesnt change my opinion
I still say hes ugly
also thats an odd hecking description Scott
anxietyprime 19:57
It fits though
bean 19:58
The Egg Baby!
readyforfreddy 19:59
w
what about it
bean 19:59
I don't like it!
readyforfreddy 19:59
uh
readyforfreddy 20:00
i mean thats great i guess? but like
why did you feel the need to state your opinion
bean 20:00
Michael asked me what Dad has made that I don't like. Well, I don't like the Egg Baby!
Mostly. I like the “Russian doll” aspect and I think it has potential. But I don't like it.
The color palette is nice though!
readyforfreddy 20:01
im crying
bean 20:01
I'm… sorry for making you cry?
readyforfreddy 20:01
djsdsjsfd,,,
#1aftonhater 20:02
helpy
you're the best thing to ever come out of this franchise
please never change
bean 20:03
Um, thank you! :) I can't guarantee I'll never change, but I can try!
anxietyprime 20:04
Oh yeah I definitely see why you guys like him so much