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Today is horrible.
This is the conclusion Lan No excessive misery Wangji has come to, for reasons as follows:
1. It is too hot.
2. It is too humid.
3. It is too loud.
4. It smells too much like spices.
4. There are too many people.
5. They are too close to himself.
6. His brother is being too pushy.
In his opinion, it’s a very rational list. They are all very valid reasons to be (no, this is not self-pity, self-pity is forbidden-) upset. His brother, for some unknown reason, seems to take absolute delight in his discomfort.
“Didi,” His brother whispers, mirth dancing in his eyes. “Won’t you go look at the stalls with these very nice disciples?”
He shoots him a pointed glare.
“Ah, it’d be good for you! You’re getting older, almost 17 already, don’t you want to make friends?” He teases, though he already knows the answer.
Xiongzhang, His gaze seems to say, Do I look like I want to make friends?
A very undignified snort comes out of his brother as he turns his head back around to stare meaninglessly at the head in front of him, in the hopes that his single-minded focus will somehow stave off every single other overwhelming sensation that he is currently experiencing.
He’s trying to at least pretend that it works, when he’s interrupted by a loud, boisterous laugh.
“Er-gongzi, er-gongzi, don’t be so glum!” Its owner exclaims, his hands on his hips.
They’re very nice hips.
And hands, obviously. Lan Wangji isn’t a creep! He has a reputation to uphold!
But… They’re very nice hips. They smoothly transition into the dip of his lithe waist (Lan Wangji is sure he could fully envelop it with both his hands, and hold most of it with just one. It’s not a very odd thought to think, he thinks. Perfectly normal.), which leads to the expanse of his chest and- Oh. Oh Lan An. His robes dip- very low. Extremely.
“Er-gege,” He chimes, leaning down ever so slightly so that no part of his chest is left up to the imagination. There is a mole on his neck, Lan Wangji notes, I’d like to bite it. “Come try our lotus seeds! Best in all of Yunmeng!”
And because he is but a mortal young man, really, what can he do, he rushes over to take off his outermost robe and put it on the shoulder of the stunning merchant.
Really, he has enough layers. It was getting stuffy anyways!
The merchant’s mouth hangs open, his eyebrows in an exclamation, and Lan Wangji wants so badly to kiss that surprise right off of his concerningly kissable face.
Now that he’s up close, he can see his beauty’s every detail- the straight slope of his nose, the fluffiness of his brows and the fullness of his lashes and cheeks, as well as the clearness of his cheekbones and electrifying silver of his eyes.
I am going to marry this man, The noble Lan-er-gongzi thinks.
“WEI WUXIAN!” Jiang Wanyin barks, storming up to them. “What the hell are you doing?! Do you even know who that is?!”
The merchant- No, Wei Wuxian- snaps out of his shock and smiles angelically. “Whatever could you mean, Jiang Cheng?”
“That’s-“ Lan Wangji tunes his voice and the meddling hums of his older brother out, only paying attention to whatever this Wei Wuxian does. To his quiet gasp when Jiang Wanyin says that yes, you’re trying to seduce the second heir to Gusu Lan, you daft idiot- and the quirk of his lips when he devises a new plan for mischief.
“Ah?! Who’s to say I’m flirting with no intention, huh?! What if I truly do plan on marrying this illustrious Second Jade of Lan?!” He clings onto Lan Wangji’s sleeve, pouting petulantly, and Lan Wangji completely freezes.
“WEI WUXIAN! YOU TRULY ARE SHAMELESS!” He chases him in circles around Lan Wangji, fuming from head to toe.
“Aiyo, what do I have to be ashamed of?” He side steps him each time, smirking cheekily. “My Lan Wangji likes me already, I just know it! We’ll be a very good match~!” He sing-songs, only hushing when the object of his affections manhandles him into his grip.
“Lan Zhan.”
“W-What-..?” His Zhiji asks, looking up red-faced.
“Wei Wuxian should call me,” He breathes, “Lan Zhan. It is my birth name.”
“Ah- Wei Ying!” He avoids his gaze, gripping onto the front of his robes. “T-This one is Wei Ying. Of Yunmeng, ahahaha, but, you already know that…”
“Oh my gosh,” Jiang Wanyin murmurs, “I’m going to be sick.”
“Of Gusu.”
“I’m going to go gray. I’ll wake up tomorrow and my head will be silver.”
“M-Mn.” He whispers, “Lan Zhan.” Like he’s testing it out, “Lan Zhan…”
His voice is so pretty. How is this fair? How is it possible? So many questions, and not enough answers…
“Wei Ying,” He responds.
“Lan Zhan?” He tilts his head at him, and it’s exactly when Jiang Wanyin makes a mock barfing noise that he kisses him.
Wei Ying is sweet, and the kiss is chaste, so naturally, he goes in for another. And then another. And then another, until breathing becomes laborious, because one long kiss is obviously improper, he has to wait until the end of courtship for that, he’ll later say to his xiongzhang. This was clearly the only correct option.
They lock eyes. Wei Ying smiles, and giggles.
“Wei Ying should join us for dinner,” He blurts.
And this is how they retell the story to their A-Yuan, very conveniently leaving out the part where Jiang Wanyin chases his A-Die around with a table knife in one hand and his sword in the other, and his Baba drinking himself silly at their wedding, giddy with joy, convincing his new husband to take just one sip, Lan Zhan, there’s no way you’re such a lightweight that one sip makes you drunk after their marital duties had been completed, both their ribbons on the other’s wrist.
And that, my friends, is how Hanguang-Jun fell in love with a commoner.