Work Text:
The seasons come and go, and so the days, weeks, months and years. Every day is but a common day, in which Minho will work and throw a little bit of fanservice up and down like he's been doing for the past five, almost six years. Even if it's still not a natural act, it made its way up to his routine and Minho would rather deal with it on autopilot.
Except one day he decides not to.
Minho decides the autopilot has to go when his insides burn against the rule of "do not even look in Kim Seungmin's direction". When he anticipates Seungmin's voice and witty remarks for every sentence he'd say, when Minho says this or that to catch Seungmin's attention on purpose.
Divorce makes him shiver only by thinking that somewhere along the storyline, they were married. How unfair it was to pair him and Seungmin in such roles? Do they know? Was it noticeable? They had to deter Minho in any way so the true nature of things wouldn't be obvious? He did not know.
"I can hear your thoughts," it's Jisung who breaks Minho's mental trance, voice filled in fatigue as they've just finished styling for a broadcast performance. Being still can be quite stressful for Jisung and Minho can see right through him. Yet it doesn't stop Jisung from being Jisung.
"No, you can't," Minho decides to answer and taps the seat by his side so Jisung can breathe peacefully after being pampered with attention and cosmetics. The youngest decides to not answer, if for weariness or the lack of an answer, Minho doesn't know, but is grateful nonetheless.
They stay in silence for a long time. Which is quite rare between them because Jisung is nothing but a word machine. And even if he's tired enough to actually start a conversation, Minho doesn't miss Jisung's eyes screaming for an explanation.
"Is there anything you want to tell me?" is all Jisung can muster without sounding too intrusive and direct.
"I think the question is, is there anything you want me to tell you?"
"I do, actually," Jisung clears his throat. "Will you tell him or not?"
Minho almost chokes. Almost disintegrates on the spot and turns to dust. Almost dies from embarrassment.
Almost.
"I don't think I can." Minho answers, honest for once. Watches Seungmin getting his hair done while the stylists gather the makeup tools to apply on his face next. Watches the way those naive eyes wander up and down, left and right the table and the mirror trying to guess what they'll be doing to him today.
"Why not?"
"Let's be honest. He'll reject me."
"No? Who said that?"
"I am telling you," Minho assures.
"Hah. Okay. If you say so."
Minho is grateful for the silence once again.
There is no such thing as eternity. Nothing is eternal, instead ephemeral.
The words are highlighted in yellow marker, the neon nature of the color making it stand out greatly from the other words on pristine white paper.
Minho finds it by chance. It's a book he's seen Seungmin reading a few times. It sits prettily on the kitchen table in the middle of the night, and it becomes a hint that Seungmin was there. Nothing that Minho hasn't grown accustomed to, but given the forceful lack of interactions they've gone through in the past years, his insides always feel warm whenever he finds pieces of Seungmin scattered around the house.
Pieces of Seungmin that somehow always feel perfectly placed so that only Minho could find them.
He doesn't dwell on the fact. Doesn't allow himself to feel special enough to feed the delusion of reciprocity. Minho'd rather deal with everything by rationalizing it as soon as possible so his mind won't be overtaken by anxious thoughts.
That's what pushes him forward to pick the book in his small hands and walk towards Seungmin's room, knocking twice on the door for an authorization that he doesn't wait for before opening the door. Seungmin is still awake, Minho can tell by the way he is tossing the sheets on the bed in awkward positions, probably trying to sleep. He doesn't say a thing, but only enters and leaves the book by the desk table that has Seungmin's belongings scattered around as well.
"Seungmin." He calls, and the youngest peek his eyes from under the covers. Minho knows what's happening, knows that look is not far from a dog hiding from their owner because they've done something wrong. Minho places his hand on Seungmin's forehead and feels it hot to the touch. "You can't keep dealing with migraines like this."
Minho doesn't wait for an answer, leaves the room in search of painkillers and a glass of water, and comes back to find Seungmin in the exact same position. The latter takes the medicine in silence, drowning his head on the pillow right after emptying the glass and handing it to Minho again.
It must hurt a lot.
"It does." Minho belatedly realizes his thoughts were louder than he had noticed, but doesn't falter. Seungmin continues. "I just wish it could stop."
Minho does not know if it's the right thing to say, but he gives it a try.
"It's not eternal though, is it?"
Seungmin eyes Minho before shooting a weak smile.
"Thankfully, it is not."
Minho has his answer.
Chan notices, but he doesn't say a thing. Minho is not aware if he's dealing with the company or not, and wishes that his actions aren't causing trouble in any way.
The managers' wide eyes serve as a sign, a warning of some sorts, but Minho chooses to ignore. In the little world he notices around himself, there's only him, Seungmin, and quite burdensome cameras but nothing he can't ignore.
It's nice to be natural.
It's nice to treat Seungmin as his equal and not a threat. A threat of a quite immature skit role, to preserve Minho's tsundere nature by constantly trying to make him vulnerable.
The truth is, even if Seungmin did nothing, Minho would still feel vulnerable.
Seungmin has the ability to make Minho feel like it's home; like he's trapped in the comfort of his room again, even if they're out for a schedule and surrounded by people. It always feels like just the two of them, as if the world ceases to exist just to give a chance to Minho and Seungmin to be together, alone, insisting on making things right even if they weren't ever wrong in the first place.
What to say once faced with the truth?
What to say when faced with love?
Minho says nothing.
Jeongin watches, almost nauseated, Seungmin and Minho exchanging giggles over a video on the older's phone. His annoyance comes from being the witness of it. If you're happy, don't be happy on my face.
“Your characters are divorced and I’d like for you to stay like that in real life too.” He says with a grimace as Seungmin’s legs are draped over Minho’s lap and they almost melt into a single existence. Seungmin sticks his tongue out at the youngest.
Minho seems to not mind (for now, at least) and he only pokes the boy by his side to pay attention to the screen again. He does so diligently and soon they are oozing over the phone again.
The faint sound Jeongin hears from the phone gives it all: they are watching cat videos. Given Minho’s eagerness for Seungmin to watch, it must be his cats.
Jeongin scoffs, knowing that calling them out for his annoyance right now won’t work, and maybe he will be outed of existence for interrupting Minho from showing his cats to the world— well, Seungmin. But since these days Minho’s glance over him was getting more honey-colored than a bearable amount, maybe it was no euphemism to deem Seungmin as Minho's world.
They are not doing a good job of hiding the fact that they are getting along way too well.
And later, after he gets scolded for not acting with the divorced concept, Seungmin will joke about a "business smile".
Except that this time, Seungmin doesn't have a bitter smile as he does so; Jeongin will see him typing the joke with a big smile plastered on his face, and maybe Minho by his side telling him what else to write to distract the management's attention from them.
They will giggle like two teenagers over bad jokes and go back to whatever quality time they have together.
"I could never understand why they assigned a divorced couple to us."
A warning for a conversation would be nice, but Minho knows this is Seungmin he is dealing with, so part of him is not at all surprised. Still, the subject is enough to put him on alert.
He turns his attention to the dishes again, as Seungmin does the same just by his side.
"Yeah? Why?" He musters the courage to ask.
"I don't know. I don't think divorced couples go back and forth like this," Seungmin muses, cleansing the plate in his hands. "Or maybe it's just me. If I divorced someone, I don't think I'd look back."
Minho hums in agreement, slightly embarrassed with the topic. Seungmin knows.
"No. Maybe it makes sense." Seungmin looks to the ceiling while still doing his chores. "I don't think I'd give up on you if we were married."
Minho chokes on his breath.
Seungmin knows.
"I love you."
Minho flinches but ignores it to keep the conversation with the fan in front of him. You can't lose it now, of all places.
Even if the noise is overwhelming, the three words were enough to muffle everything around them. Minho is back on autopilot until this shift ends, a genuine smile plastered on his face for meeting their fans but with a hint of anxiety on the edges of agitation.
By the end of the day, Minho's ears are buzzing from all the outside noise and the loudness of the echo in his head.
He eyes Seungmin from afar, scrolling on his phone and waiting for their manager to show up and finally take them to the airport and then home.
"Why'd you say that?"
Seungmin seems caught by surprise.
"What?"
"What you said during the fansign."
"I lost to her," it's the answer Minho was expecting to hear, although not the best for his own heart. They both know it was impossible for Seungmin not to win that wrestle. "And I'm kinda tired."
"Of what?"
"She made a surprised face because you were by my side," The youngest shakes his black strands, removing unnecessary hair from his eyes so he can properly look at Minho. "Is it so difficult to believe that I like you?"
Minho has to rationalize.
"It's just the concept—"
"I think we must've made a very convincing job with this… concept," Seungmin's tone is bitter, bitter like Minho hasn't heard him in years, and it makes him upset. He feels upset because Seungmin is feeling upset. Because someone or something triggered this. "I don't like it, hyung."
Heh.
"Yeah. Neither do I."
Seungmin has a bright and blinding smile when he looks at Minho.
"I'm happy to know."
And Minho feels happy that Seungmin knows.