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“Stiles, I need you to calm down and listen to me.” John said carefully. “Now I know that all you want is to see Derek, but I don’t think that is such a good idea.” Stiles made a hurt noise in the back of his throat.
“Why not? I’m his fiancé!” Stiles sounded almost desperate. It had been 2 days since he had last seen his boyfriend. Stiles had been away on a tour across Europe. After graduating from college, he had written a bunch of books and one of the series had become very popular in the European countries. He had been traveling across the countries, signing books and meeting fans when he had gotten a phone call, telling him that Derek had been hurt while on duty.
Stiles had taken the first available flight back to the states, and now that he finally had gotten to the hospital, his dad was telling him he couldn’t see his fiancé. Hell to the no!
“The thing is, in his head, you’re not.” John told him, voice tired and sad. Stiles lifted an eyebrow and looked at his dad. “What?”
“When he woke up yesterday, we discovered that he suffers from amnesia. He can’t remember anything from the past 4 years or something like that. I tried to test it out a little - dropped your name, and he only got annoyed.” John explained Stiles. Stiles was on the verge of tears. “I’m sorry, son, but he can’t remember your relationship. He can only remember when you hated each other.”
“Are you serious? But…” Stiles hunched in on himself. Like that, he looked so much like the scared little boy who had just lost his mother, and John couldn’t help but open his arms and hug him close. “Don’t worry Stiles. Either he’ll remember, or you’ll make him fall in love with you all over again.” John tried to assure Stiles, but it only resulted in a heartbroken sob from Stiles.
The visiting hours were almost over when Stiles finally mustered up enough courage to face Derek. Stiles had always been a fan of ignoring a problem until it went away, and he hoped that if he just pretended like this hadn’t happened, maybe Derek would be normal again soon.
“Who’s there?” Derek’s voice sounded hoarse. “Stiles.” Stiles was proud to say that his voice didn’t waver. Much, anyway.
“Why are you here?” Derek asked and his voice sounded like venom. It hurt Stiles to hear that tone used against him after this long. “I just wanted to come see if you’re okay, is all.” Stiles settled on answering. Safe territory.
“Yes, I’m okay. If by okay you mean confused, hurt and tired.” Derek answered. Stiles sucked in a quick breath, He wasn’t sure if his heart could do this, being in a room with the person he was in love with and was ready to build a life and family with, without that person liking him anymore.
“I just… Sorry.” Stiles couldn’t think of anything else to say. Derek shook his head. “Listen, Stiles. John told me what has happened between the two of us in the last couple of years, but I don’t remember any of that and right now, I don’t particularly like you. So can we just… forget about it?” If he was being honest, Stiles was kind of expecting this. This was why he didn’t want to face Derek.
“Sure. I’ll just… stop bothering you, I guess.” He told him, head down. He walked out the door and got to his car before the tears overwhelmed him for the second time that day.
A week later, Stiles was on his way to the Hale house. Derek had been out of the hospital for about 3 days, living with his family in their house. Stiles knocked on the door and held his breath. Derek opened.
“Stiles.” It wasn’t a question and he didn’t sound happy. Stiles decided to just get it over with. “Yeah, sorry to bother you like this, but I just wanted to give you your stuff back.” Stiles held the paper-card box like an offering to Derek, and he took it. “Okay… Thank you, I guess. Was that all?”
“No, actually. I wanted to ask for a favor as well. I don’t know if anyone had told you, but we have - sorry, had - a cat. He really misses you. Can you come visit him or something? For the cat.” Stiles explained. He knew that it was a lot to ask of Derek, but that stupid cat had always preferred Derek over Stiles, and now he just walked around to house looking sad all day.
“Um. A cat? Sure. What is his name?” Derek asked. He sounded guarded but also a little bit curious. Stiles looked up at him with wide eyes, a blush forming on his cheeks. “His name? Oh, we didn’t name him.” He lied.
Derek lifted one of his eyebrows. “I know that is a lie, Stiles.” He told him. Stiles sighed dramatically. “His name is Catsanova.” Stiles admitted. “Casanova?” Derek asked, looking a little amused. “Catsanova.” Stiles corrected. Derek almost laughed, but he kept it in.
“okay, then. And when will I meet Catsanova?” he asked with a glint in his eyes. He reminded Stiles so much of Derek from before the accident, it almost hurt.
“Any time it fits you, really. Well, the sooner the better. That stupid cat misses you.” And I miss you too, Stiles thought bitterly. “How about now?” Derek asked. Stiles nodded, maybe a little too quickly.
“We can take my jeep. I know youre not allowed to drive yourself yet.” Stiles told him and showed him towards the babyblue jeep. “that doesn’t look safe.” Derek pointed out. “Shh! Roscoe can hear you!” Stiles shushed him. This time, Derek did laugh. “You’re funnier than usually, I must admit.” That made Stiles blush. It was more than he had hoped for. Maybe there was a little hope.
When they got to their apartment, Catsanova was so happy to see Derek. They cuddled for a while and then Stiles showed him the apartment. He had taken all the pictures of them down, since it hurt to look at, but now the walls just looked plain and boring. Derek asked if he could go explore a little - apparently, he wanted to know the life he had lived before.
“What are all these?” Derek asked. His voice sounded weird. Stiles looked up and saw Derek holding one of their photoalbums. “Oh, that’s nothing. Just pictures from different stuff. My dad and Mellissa’s wedding, Allison and Issac’s child being born, stuff like that.” Derek opened the album and fell silent.
After he had looked through it, he closed off again and asked to be driven home. Stiles complied.
The ping-pong continued for a few months. Derek opened up, wanted to get to know Stiles and his life, but then something would happen and he would close off again. It was weird, and Stiles was beginning to give up hope of things ever returning like they used to be.
Stiles decided to try and move on, so he had Scott set him up on a blind date. When Stiles showed up to the date, he found out that it was Danny, a boy he had once gone to school with. They hit it off and agreed to meet again. On their second date, Stiels told Danny about Derek. Danny was very understanding and they ended up going to Stiles’ apartment together. They had sex and it was good, and they were both on the same page: this wasn’t a relationship, Stiles wasn’t ready for that. Danny respected that.
They next day Stiles woke up to the sound of snoring. He turned around and saw Danny sleeping like a rock. Stiles got up and took a shower, then made some breakfast. He heard some footsteps behind him and turned around.
“Hey Danny. Sleep well?” he asked before stopping himself. It wasn’t Danny who stood before him, but Derek, and he had a very angry look on his face. “What the hell, Stiles?” he asked and yep, that was his angry growling voice.
“What?” Stiles asked. He really couldn’t see what he had done wrong here. Derek was the one who couldn’t remember and asked that they forget their relationship. Stiles was just doing what he asked?
“Here I am, trying to remember and getting to know you, while you’re just sleeping around behind my back?” Derek yelled. Stiles stopped, dead in his tracks. “What?” he asked again.
“I was even falling in love with you! God, I feel so stupid. I should have just gone with my gut-feeling about this.” Derek sighed.
“Did you… are you falling in love with me again?” Stiles asked. His voice was thin and hopeful.
“I didn’t.. what? Did I say that?” Now, Derek sounded confused. Stiles furrowed his brows and nodded.
“I guess… I am. But that doesn’t matter anymore.” Derek admitted.
“Wait, wait, yes! It matters okay! Danny was just an attempt to get over you. You told me to forget about our relationship!” Stiles defended himself. Now, Derek was back to looking angry. “And then you just give up on it? I was confused and hurt and not myself, Stiles!” Derek nearly cried.
“I tried to win you back again, but it didn’t work! How do you think it felt, knowing that I could have been married now, but instead having to face you almost every day when there was nothing there? It fucking hurt, Derek. It’s no wonder I tried to move on.” Stiles told him with a thick voice, tears streaming down his face.
Derek seemed to be in conflict with himself. His hands were clenching and unclenching and his eyes went from looking sad, to angry, to determined. They ended on determined, and Derek reached out towards Stiles, taking in a handful of his shirt and pulling Stiles towards him. Their lips crashed together and it was kind of hurting him, but Stiles needed it. Needed to feel Derek’s lips on his again.
Derek pulled back. “God, Stiles, I am so sorry.” He told him. Stiles leaned his forehead on Derek’s. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault you lost your memory.”
“No, you don’t understand,” Derek looked Stiles right in the eyes and Stiles saw something had changed in them. “I am so sorry for these last few months. I love you.” He pressed his lips against Stiles’ once again and that’s when it clicked for Stiles. Derek remembered him. Remembered them. Stiles couldn’t be happier.