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He witnessed her death countless of times through various dimensions—parallel worlds where she’d be staying with the same condition that took her life from others. He failed so many times that if he wanted to, he could fill a whole wall with tallies, marking all his failures with disgust. He was her knight, the one duty of such a role was to protect her, Her Highness, from harm—he just did not believe the one that would cause her such suffering would be her own heart. The person he was supposed to protect her from was herself all along. When it was too late—when her condition had caused her to be physically ill—everyone was scrambling to help her sickness. Her heart was growing weaker, irregular beats, and there were times he didn’t know if her heart was going to continue beating. He stayed by her side for all the days she was in bed rest. He used the excuse of being a knight to protect her if anyone were to take this time to attack her at her weakest—which he would not allow, of course. She was at peace, sleeping soundly, every piece of technology they’ve created surrounding her to ensure she would have the chance to at life. But even so, whatever was causing her heart to falter was beyond their knowledge and death consumed her.
He blamed it on himself. He wanted to give her a little break from bed to roam around the gardens. She had to beg him for hours for him to comply, she almost threatened that it was an order. The sight of her enjoying the light from the star, the feeling of the grass beneath her feet caused her to smile. The smile he has not seen in a while following the worsening condition. She twirled around, her shirt flapping with her, her arms out, taking in the light. She glanced at Xavier, her beauty hypnotizing her, her expression of joy making this all worth it. His anxiety went away for a couple of minutes. Her skin glowed with perfection. He was in a trance. Life was perfect in this moment. He cared about her happiness over his—he loved her, and he does not know if she realizes his affections. She giggled, really giggled, and the sound blessed his ears. He glanced away, feeling flustered. For once in his life, he was able to truly express his feelings physically, even if he felt a little embarrassed about it. She made him feel so good, like he could be himself with her, he could do anything and would not be judged. She was everything to him, and he was her beloved knight. The knight she is concerned for whenever he’s off on dangerous missions, or not taking care of himself—sacrificing his own self for her well-being. The gifts he’s given by her for the smallest of accomplishments. He’s kept all of them over the years. Even a journal she gave him to write down thoughts when he was far away from them all.
The most of what he’s written in the journal are poems dedicated to her. From love poems, putting his feelings into a rhyme, or a rhythm that had a flow that wholesomely described how he felt. To admiring her beauty, letting his words from his mind going to down to his hand to the paper, praising her from head to toe, never once thinking ill of her—in his eyes even her flaws were perfections. It made her human. She was not born perfect, but she tried her best every day to do her best, and through the flaws she calls to him to help her through those situations. They were a duo born under eyes of fate or just chance. Whatever may be the reason, they were something of a miracle, and he believed it was more her than him that was. He sometimes wanted to read a poem to her, to sing her to sleep, to give her a sense of peace in this state of exhaustion—her body fighting to stay alive took a lot out of her, and he was surprised to see her happily moving with no care in the world. Maybe because she knew it was her time.
He saw her stand still. He tiled his head, going over to her as she fell to her knees. He held her, his arm around her waist as he felt her forehead on his shoulder. Her breathing was shallow, he held her close to him, knowing it was her time. She wanted to come out here to spend her last moments with him in the beautiful scenery. He moved her body, so her back was against his chest, putting her in a comfortable position. He glanced down at her, and they made eye-contact, his heart pounded in his chest, trying to keep himself from showing grief in this moment. He could feel her heart weakening, his arms wrapping around her waist. He wanted to speak, utter a word, but he couldn’t risk crying—not now.
“It’s going to be okay, my knight,” She spoke, her voice weak, her hand cupping his cheek. He moved her hand from his torso, taking the hand from his face into his own, hiding her face into the crook of her neck, her hair soft against his skin. “You did your duty, you protected me, but it now my time to go.” He held her tighter. “You and I both know; this cannot be fixed. You must let me go, my knight.” Her breathing was slowing down, her heart following after. “I love you; you were my protector. I never got to tell you how much you mean to me, Xavier. Know that my heart was beating for you, and now that is it ending, you are still by my side.” She took a sharp intake of air. He waited for her to speak more, but no other words were spoken. Her body went limp, her heart stopped beating, and her lungs no longer moved.
He felt tears swell in his eyes as he held her close, hiding his face, tears soaking the air. He couldn’t believe she was gone. She was gone forever. She died in his arms and there was nothing he could do. How could she call himself a protector if she was the first to die out of them both? He hated it. He hated it all. He screamed; the noise being muffled. He turned her face, giving her a kiss, feeling the warmth of them leave. He had to tell everyone she was dead. The one he loved was gone, and the whole time she loved him. They could never cherish each other in honesty when a limit was put upon their heads. He held her for hours, the time was no longer limited, it reached zero. He was lost in grief, that in the back of his mind, he pictured her happy in another world.
“I love you, [Name]. I love you so much.” He chanted into her neck before sitting in silence under the light from the star.