Work Text:
“ You worry too much, hyung, don’t you know I’ll always be by your side? ”
It’s true. Taehyung worries. When he first decided to make the move across the ocean, to a place he’s never been, that’s all he did. He worried about being alone, about regretting his decision and being unable to leave. He worried so much that he worried he couldn’t talk about his fears, that he’d look ungrateful because he should be excited. It was a massive opportunity for him to accept the job he was offered, one that would be a great stepping stone for his future career, but his mind was so clouded by a storm of anxiety that he couldn’t see the bright side.
So he didn’t say a word, kept it to himself, until the day his best friend sat beside him with a determined expression and pitched the idea of them living together. He had already found apartment listings, wrote down the reasons it would be a good idea, like he somehow had to convince Taehyung into agreeing. He made it seem like it was his idea, as if he didn’t catch onto the fact that Taehyung was too scared to ask him in the first place.
Jungkook said those words and made the worry fall away so the excitement could come through. He didn’t admit that one of those fears was missing Jungkook, that there would be days they didn’t talk because of time differences and being busy with life. He was so afraid of that that it made him sick to his stomach at night when it clogged his brain, but Jungkook just knew because he worries too.
It was still nerve-wracking because it was such a big change, but Taehyung felt more at ease with Jungkook by his side. He was excited as they picked out furniture and decor for their apartment, though they spent the most of their free time exploring the big city they now called home rather than making their tiny apartment one. Boxes were shoved in corners and pushed aside because they had all the time in the world to put the things inside of them away.
Plus, he was too tired after work each day to do it himself. He preferred to lay his head on Jungkook’s lap as he listened to him talk about job searches and calls home or hang out in the kitchen together as they tried out new foods they have never cooked before. Taehyung enjoyed eating those hard-earned meals together, even if they came out undercooked or too burnt.
It was his favorite part of the day, coming home to his best friend and staying up too late because work steals too much of his awake time. Listening to Jungkook laugh loudly and talk quietly because the night somehow seems to call for it. Making more plans of saving money, visiting places, and for general future life things while Jungkook keeps saying together like it’s a given.
But like it always does, the worry came back. Taehyung knew deep down it would, it always does. Anxiety is a lifelong friend with separation issues, never going away for too long. He just hadn’t realized it was sneaking its way back into his mind until it consumed him again.
It built slowly. He always figures he’s overthinking first. That when Jungkook seems to be a bit sadder, that it’s momentary or all in his head. When Jungkook stops talking as much during their daily catch ups, Taehyung suspects he’s tired or just down because he hasn’t found a job yet. The sad tone of his voice when he mentions being unable to talk to his mother for a day is expected, not a sign that anything is wrong.
But when his tone remains the same when he does talk to her, Taehyung doesn’t think he’s just overthinking it anymore. Jungkook speaks of home like he’s longing for it. Constantly bringing up places they used to hang out, food trucks he wishes he could go to at any moment. He compares here and there, makes comments that the parks aren’t as nice, the streets are too crowded.
Jungkook stops unpacking like there’s no point to it. He doesn’t touch his room despite bursting with all these ideas he had for it when he first won the room. It looks unlived in, empty compared to Jungkook’s childhood home where he covered every inch of the walls with things he liked. Paintings, posters, news clippings, things collected over the years. The only sign of life is the framed picture of Jungkook and his mother on the nightstand next to a bed on the ground that Taehyung is sure Jungkook never sleeps in.
A sense of foreboding falls upon Taehyung, but he doesn’t ask. He thinks he knows how Jungkook feels because it’s what scared him the most when he first came here. That he’d regret the big move and hate the new city.
Mostly, he’s afraid to hear Jungkook tell him that, while he’s enough to ease those feelings of missing home within Taehyung, Taehyung isn’t enough for him. Anything close to a conversation about what Jungkook means to him is a conversation he’s always avoided. And usually, he’s okay with that. He can put those feelings aside and not let them interfere because his friendship with Jungkook is more important.
When he can’t, he paints. The craving to just lose himself in music while he creates something is always the first sign that the worry has gotten to be too much, but it’s always the first sign Taehyung misses too.
He doesn’t realize how much he’s drowning until there’s already an image coming to life in front of him. As he carefully moves the brush coated in vibrant green across the wall and a terrible song of yearning comes on, it hits him like a tidal wave.
Taehyung is terrified that Jungkook’s somber mood and those unpacked boxes means he’s going to leave him.
“Whenever you’re here, you keep yourself holed up in that room all the time. Are you working on something?” Jungkook asks curiously, his voice quiet.
Their daily catch ups have been fewer lately, which Taehyung is also partially to blame for, because he does hole himself up in their empty spare room, but he is thankful for the moments he and Jungkook do have together. Even if they’re not doing anything but sharing a meal like they currently are.
Taehyung swallows his food as insecurity sets in. Jungkook knows his tendencies, and can usually see right through him. He doesn’t want to lie, but he also doesn’t want to talk about it. Not right now when Jungkook is smiling and bright and joking with him like he hadn’t been quiet and in his head the entire night before. To the point Taehyung thought he would wake up to a note that Jungkook was gone.
“Mhm. But it’s a surprise, so don’t ask.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes, but his smile remains in place. “What if I invoke best friend privileges to see what you’re working on before it’s finished like everyone else?”
Taehyung laughs, head shaking. “No, no. You take advantage of your best friend privileges much too often. Plus, there’s nothing really to show yet.”
“You’ve been working on it for weeks.”
As much as Jungkook knows Taehyung, Taehyung knows Jungkook just as well. He lifts his eyes away from his plate at the hesitancy in Jungkook’s tone. His smile fades. The concern is there, beaming off Jungkook, and Taehyung stills beneath its rays.
Crap.
Taehyung shrugs a shoulder, aiming for nonchalance. The epitome of cool and unfazed. He paints all the time, not only when his mind is busy. He can play it off as that.
“It’s only been like two,” Taehyung corrects, “and I’m painting the walls. If you hate it, it’d be too much to fix. So I’d rather show you the finished product so it’ll be too late to do anything about it.”
Success, Taehyung thinks as Jungkook’s shoulders relax and his exhale comes out amused. The brightness returns, the smile lifts. “I’ve loved every one of your paintings,” he says, kicking a foot beneath the table to nudge his toes against Taehyung’s calf. “I’m your biggest fan.”
Such a tiny touch does such damage to Taehyung’s chest. A toe rubbing against his calf feels like a fist going through his sternum instead.
Crap times two. His feelings are at the forefront of his mind, getting in the way. He hates when they do that because it makes him weird. Cuddling and touching are a constant with them, but when his heart is in control, those things stand out like they mean something.
“You're biased.” Taehyung is thankful he still has food in his bowl so he can shove his mouth full and give himself time to think of a way to change the subject.
Jungkook bobs his head, humming his affirmation. “Maybe. I do think you’re incredibly talented, and I’m constantly amazed by everything you show me. But I also love you the most so you could paint a blob and I’ll be hanging it proudly on my wall.”
Taehyung’s chest warms. He’s heard it plenty of times, Jungkook often tells him he loves him, but the reminder means more now. When he’s worried that Jungkook’s going to leave, that he isn’t enough for him to stay.
“I love you too,” Taehyung replies quietly because his heart is in control and he’s worried, if he speaks too loudly, Jungkook will be able to hear that he means it differently. “But I’m still not showing you.”
It isn’t until Taehyung has hidden himself in the room and stands before the painting that’s starting to come to life that he worries Jungkook does love him enough to stay even if it makes him miserable, that being by his side will be too much of a painful place for Jungkook to be.
Cursing to himself, Taehyung presses his forehead into part of the wall that is still white and gently bangs his head against it. He really wishes his brain would shut up, that he could build some kind of barrier against intrusive thoughts. Painting helps, takes a bit of the bite off as he forces his mind to picture the stretch of green and blooming trees, but it still hurts.
It takes a while each session, but Taehyung does get to a point where his shoulders don’t feel so heavy. His daunting thoughts get quieter, he’s able to focus more on his painting. The parts of him that are happy to love Jungkook get louder, even if he’s worried he’ll lose him. He thinks instead about Jungkook and him laying in the grass of their favorite park, talking about nothing and pretending they see what the other does in the clouds.
Taehyung paints until he loses the light from outside and hears the front door open and close as Jungkook returns from another day of job hunting. It’s his cue to finish for the day or Jungkook will certainly come nosing in. He hurries as he cleans up and puts things aside, leaving the room with empty bottles and brushes that need to be washed and making sure the door locks behind him.
The storm of anxiety returns as Taehyung dumps his brushes into the kitchen sink and finds Jungkook looking dragged down. His back rests against the counter, his eyes focused on the floor. He holds a cup of something, but he doesn’t once bring it to his mouth.
It’s awkward, tense. Taehyung’s tongue feels too heavy in his mouth as he soaks the brushes and thinks of something to say. Talking to Jungkook is always easy until he starts to overthink.
“You alright?”
Jungkook jerks, his eyes tearing away from the floor to focus on Taehyung instead. “Had an interview. It went well.”
That’s good news, Taehyung thinks, but it contrasts with how melancholy Jungkook looks. He hesitates before he approaches him, not wanting to push if Jungkook doesn’t want to talk about it. His anxiety just rises, and he needs Jungkook to say something. Selfishly, he needs Jungkook to reassure him.
But Jungkook sighs and his body seems to sink in on itself when he whispers, “I really miss my mom.”
Despite the fear of what that could mean, Taehyung puts that aside to be here for Jungkook anyway. To avoid making it about him or come off inconsiderate because he too misses his own family and home. He leans up against Jungkook to be close but offers him space if he needs it, though he wishes to wrap his entire body around Jungkook until he feels better.
“Did you talk to her today?”
Jungkook nods. “The whole family came over, and it just hit me how far away they all are. And I felt, I don’t know really, just that I was really bothered I couldn’t be there with them.”
He shifts and turns, his face coming close before he blinks at him and Taehyung understands without him having to say. They move as if they know how the other will, fitting into each other until their chests are pressed close together.
Taehyung hugs Jungkook’s shoulders as Jungkook digs his chin into one of his own. Silence falls over them, and Taehyung knows he’ll have to be the one to break it. To get Jungkook out of his head or to get him to speak too.
“If you still wanted to visit home for the holidays, you know I’ll go with you,” Taehyung murmurs, and he hopes he doesn’t come off as transparent as he feels. That he’s pushing for some kind of sign that Jungkook hasn’t decided to leave. “Or we can see if your parents would want to fly here.”
Jungkook nuzzles against his shoulder and squeezes his arms tighter around Taehyung’s waist. “I want to go there. I miss home, hyung.”
Taehyung closes his eyes as he turns towards Jungkook, his lips brushing over his forehead. The touch is featherlight, but it doesn’t make him as nervous as it did the first time. When Taehyung fretted over kissing Jungkook’s cheek without thinking, but then Jungkook started doing it so much to him like he was trying to assure Taehyung that it was okay. That he likes it.
Now, it’s another one of those touches that are a constant. Especially when one of them needs comfort.
“I know.” I wish I was home enough for you . “How about we have that dish your mother always makes for dinner? The one you insisted she cooks every time you visited her while in university?”
Jungkook pulls back, revealing a small smile on his face and sad eyes. “I’d like that, though your cooking skills are atrocious.”
It’s meant to be teasing, but it doesn’t hit the same way when Jungkook’s upset because Taehyung knows he’s trying to force himself not to be. He gets it, wants to help, so he nudges Jungkook playfully in hopes his smile will grow.
“Aye, be quiet. The pizza I made the other day was superb.”
The smile does grow as Jungkook dodges the pretend hits Taehyung sends his way, his nose wrinkling when he giggles. “The dough in the middle was like mush.”
Jungkook grabs his hands when Taehyung goes to jab him, and he watches his own fingers move over the paint stains left behind.
“You said it was good,” Taehyung accuses. Butterflies erupt in his stomach from how carefully Jungkook touches him before he slots their fingers together unnecessarily.
“Yeah.” Jungkook smacks his lips together, eyes brighter now as they focus on Taehyung. “I only said that because I love you.”
Another reminder. The storm gets quieter for a moment, but Taehyung knows it isn’t enough to clear it away completely. He should just ask, be upfront about his worries, but he’s so terrified that he can’t get himself to say the words.
“Jerk,” Taehyung grumbles. He pulls on his hands to free them from Jungkook’s grasp, but he holds on tighter and moves closer. So close that Taehyung thinks about kissing him, though it would be entirely the wrong moment to share their first kiss. “I changed my mind. I’m never cooking for you again.”
For a moment, Taehyung wonders if Jungkook thinks the same thing. As his eyes drop to his mouth and stay there, Taehyung wonders if Jungkook notices their lips are close enough that Taehyung can feel the breath from Jungkook’s laugh against them.
“You will,” Jungkook whispers, looking away from his mouth and pulling away from him completely. The sudden space in front of Taehyung feels cold. “Because you love me too.”
Back home, there is a park Taehyung had to walk through when he was younger to get home from school. He always slowed down as he made his way through the paths lined with massive trees and stopped to touch the different colored flowers that were potted around. He would get in trouble if he took too long and got home too late, but, as he got older, he had more time to appreciate the pretty scenery. He had money to stop at the food truck stationed in front of the park, he could waste time on the same bench every day and work on his studies.
That bench is where he met Jungkook for the first time. He was laying across it, looking at the clouds. Taehyung had been annoyed because that was his bench, and Jungkook was taking up the entire thing. He grumbled and found another spot to sit in for the day, but it continued each day. He’d find Jungkook hogging his favorite bench until, one day, he finally asked for it back.
Taehyung thinks he’s been in love with Jungkook ever since, from the first moment Jungkook popped up into a sitting position and looked at him instead of the clouds. It feels like a foolish thought, but also an accurate one.
Usually, Taehyung doesn’t think too hard about it. He doesn’t try to identify the first moment he knew—if there was any moment at all. But, as he paints that bench on the wall, Taehyung thinks about it. How cute he thought Jungkook was with his big, worried eyes and his constant apologies over something that was too silly for Taehyung to be annoyed at to begin with. How thankful he is that he asked Jungkook to share the bench with him rather than taking it solely for himself.
Taehyung thinks about Jungkook’s first kiss and how that could be the moment he realized, because his heart ached and ached even though Jungkook hated it and never wanted to kiss that person again. Or maybe it was the first time Taehyung realized he was attracted to Jungkook, his mind going places they never really had before about his best friend. Thoughts that embarrassed him and made him feel ashamed, like he was hiding some dirty secret from Jungkook, and he still avoids thinking about them until today.
Taehyung takes a step back and looks at the finished painted bench surrounded by green grass and thinks it was probably there. The first time Taehyung thought about kissing Jungkook that he can remember. Nothing else really stands out about the memory except Jungkook was giggling, he was close, and Taehyung so desperately wanted to know what it would feel like to kiss him. To quiet his laugh and have Jungkook kiss him back.
That want is always there, but it usually stays buried. Taehyung only digs it out when he’s alone, when he’s painting.
“Hyung, you’ve been in there for hours!”
Taehyung jerks at the knock on the door, ripping his eyes away from the wall. He lost track of time, can see the sky outside is starting to get darker. The realization has his stomach growling, but he can’t rip himself out of the headspace he’s in so quickly. Painting and reminiscing has torn his chest open, and he can’t have Jungkook see. Can’t be around him, not yet.
Today, Taehyung overheard Jungkook crying while on the phone with his mother, and he’s been hiding in this room ever since. Like a coward, fighting off his own tears instead of comforting his best friend like he should be doing.
“I, uh, I’m almost done!” Taehyung calls as he rubs his forehead. He freezes when he hears the doorknob rattle. “It’s a surprise, Kook-ah!”
The grumble Jungkook responds with is muffled. He stops trying to open the door, but Taehyung suspects he is still waiting for him outside of it.
His suspicions are confirmed as he gathers all of his things and cracks open the door. Jungkook is right there, and there’s no way he won’t be able to see Taehyung’s creation when Taehyung opens the door wide enough to accommodate his body.
“Close your eyes,” Taehyung whispers urgently.
Jungkook doesn’t, but instead pushes his lips into a pout that always makes Taehyung weak. Too weak, and Jungkook knows it.
But it damages him even more because Jungkook’s eyes are puffy and swollen.
“Please, hyung, let me see. You’ve been working so hard on it and—”
“It’s a surprise,” Taehyung interrupts. “For you.”
That’s his first mistake. Jungkook gets too excited to wait for his gifts, always nosing around before his birthday and Christmas. Taehyung has a difficult time saying no, and he knows he will now because, despite Jungkook’s dreary look, his eyes light up when Taehyung tells him.
“For me?” Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow together, but he’s smiling. It’s such a relief to see it after hearing him cry that Taehyung nearly rips the door right open.
The only thing holding him back is his worry, like always. Taehyung has covered the walls with scenery from the place they met, a place that feels like home, and he’s worried it will make it worse. That Jungkook won’t enjoy the sight of it because it’ll make him even more homesick.
That didn’t occur to Taehyung until now, and his heart shatters and heavies until it feels as if it resides in his gut instead of his chest.
“Yes,” Taehyung starts. He wishes Jungkook would move back so he can slip out quickly. “I—well, you’ve been down lately, and I wanted to make you smile.”
The smile Jungkook wears now softens, as does the look in his eyes before he turns them down the ground. “I’m sorry to worry you, hyung.”
“No, no,” Taehyung rushes out. He curses to himself mentally, twisting around to plant his supplies on the floor to free his hands. He tries to squeeze in as much of his body as possible to fit through the door, but he knows Jungkook has at least gotten a glimpse of a tree. “I understand. Really.”
Jungkook doesn’t respond, nibbling furiously at his bottom lip instead, as he looks over Taehyung’s face. His smile falls. “I did worry you, didn’t I? You always paint when your mind is busy.”
This is what Taehyung wanted to avoid. He knows Jungkook won’t stop looking at him like that until he’s sure that Taehyung is fine. But his chest is still open for him to see, and Taehyung doesn’t know if he can lie.
But surely it will only add to Jungkook’s worry if he were to take off right now, just to bandage his heart.
“No, no. The move is hard,” Taehyung tries. He waves a hand, as if to make it seem like no big deal, but he isn’t sure he succeeds. “Work is intimidating. Painting is just relaxing.”
Jungkook doesn’t look so sure. “You’re not a good liar, and you don’t have to for my sake.”
He’s wrong. Taehyung is the best liar out there because he’s been in love with his best friend for as long as he can remember but nobody knows it.
He’s even lied so well to himself that he doesn’t realize how much it actually does bother him until now.
“I’m not,” Taehyung insists, but there’s not enough umph in his tone. He grabs Jungkook’s hand, squeezing. “I swear. Come on. Let’s get something to eat. I’m starved.”
He slips past Jungkook, anxious to get away from the room until he decides if he can actually show him or find a way to lock Jungkook out of the room forever.
But he gets a few steps ahead when he hears the twist of the doorknob and freezes.
“When you’re upset, you paint nature,” Jungkook explains. “And I definitely saw a tree.”
Crap, crap, crap. Taehyung grabs Jungkook’s arm to keep him from entering, but Jungkook one ups him and pushes the door open without taking a step forward.
For a moment, Taehyung holds his breath and braces himself for the truth that this was a horrible idea. Sure, he didn’t set out to paint their bench or look up photos to make sure he gets the flower colors right. But he did, and he prays it’s a happy reminder of home. Not one that makes the longing harder.
Jungkook doesn’t say anything, just stares ahead before he takes a step inside the room.
Taehyung doesn’t follow after him. He tucks his paint-splattered hands into the pockets of his overalls to keep from fidgeting and revealing his anxiety.
“Taehyung.”
It’s just a breath. Whispered. Jungkook stands still but his head moves slightly. Taehyung forces himself to re-enter the room and be as casual as possible.
“It’s not much,” Taehyung tries.
He curses to himself once more when Jungkook turns to face him and he sees how wet his eyes are.
“No, none of that,” Taehyung surges forward, his concern overriding his worry. He cups Jungkook’s cheeks with gentle palms, thumbs out and ready to catch any tears. “I just—I just know how much you’ve missed home, and I wanted to bring a little bit of it here. I’m really sorry if it only made it worse.”
Jungkook’s eyes flutter closed and remain that way as he breathes in and slowly exhales.
When he opens them again, Taehyung sees his own anxiety mirrored in Jungkook’ face.
“I—I love you.”
Good sign, right? That wouldn’t be Jungkook’s first response if he hates it, but he still looks so upset, maybe even more, that Taehyung can’t be sure.
“I love you too.” Taehyung firms his grip just enough to emphasize his point. His heart beats rapidly in his chest as he considers being honest and telling Jungkook his worries, to ask him to please stay even if it’s selfish of him. So, so selfish. “I want to make this place feel like home as much as I can.”
Jungkook tugs his bottom lip into his mouth as he steps forward and into Taehyung’s space. Taehyung expects him to lean in, to rest his head on his shoulder and embrace him like he always does when he’s sad.
But he is completely thrown off when Jungkook’s head goes forward rather than down. The world seems to freeze around him as he realizes he can feel Jungkook’s shaky exhale against his mouth, that their noses are brushing a moment before their lips do.
It’s hesitant, unsure. Taehyung can’t freaking move when Jungkook gently presses a kiss to his mouth.
He must be dreaming. It must be the exhaustion and all in his head because he’s thought about his desire to kiss Jungkook multiple times just today.
That must be what it is. For sure.
“Taehyung,” Jungkook whispers, not pulling back so Taehyung can feel his lips moving against the corner of his mouth. “Any place where you are will be home to me.”
The words ring loudly in Taehyung’s ears. Relief floods through him like a wave, washing up into his throat and building pressure behind his eyes that he has to squeeze shut. It’s so strong that he can feel it everywhere, even his hands squeezing Jungkook’s cheeks like he’s desperately trying to hold onto him.
“Anywhere,” Jungkook repeats, pecking his lips once more. “I just—”
This time, Jungkook kisses him with a pressure that rivals the one behind Taehyung’s eyes. There’s no denying that it’s a kiss, not just a peck they’re used to sharing, though they haven’t before on the mouth.
But just as quickly as Jungkook moves forward, he moves back.
“I’m sorry,” Jungkook gasps out. His eyebrows wrinkle in stress, eyes watering even more. “I am not doing this right.”
Taehyung can't believe his heart hasn’t given out on him with how hard it’s railing into his sternum. He doesn’t know if he can breathe, but he tries as he smooths his hands from Jungkook’s cheeks to the sides of his neck to bring him close again.
A million times, Taehyung has imagined this, but never once did he think he’d actually lean in and mold his mouth to his best friend’s. He never had the guts to, but Jungkook doing it first and having tears and apology in his eyes afterwards spurs something new inside of Taehyung.
As does the way Jungkook’s mouth parts as he exhales but doesn’t leave him again. He kisses back, falling into the soft pace Taehyung sets. The one that matches the pace of his fingers as he gently rubs them through the hair at Jungkook’s nape.
It doesn’t last long, but Taehyung is breathless when he pulls back and presses his forehead to Jungkook’s.
“What was that for?” Jungkook asks, sounding just as breathless.
“You did it first. I should be asking you that.”
Jungkook sighs, his lips brushing over Taehyung’s cheek before he buries his face into the crook of his neck. He remains that way, arms squeezing tight around Taehyung’s waist.
Taehyung doesn’t push him to explain though he wants to. He just runs his fingers up and down Jungkook’s spine and brushes his nose against his hair as he tries to think of something else to fill the silence.
“You’re home to me too,” Taehyung finally says. “I was scared to come here, to be so far away. I wanted to ask you, but it’s such a huge thing to ask someone to do.”
Jungkook straightens, his mouth opening as if he may respond, but Taehyung continues before he can.
The truth starts, and he can’t stop.
“But you just knew and offered, and I was so relieved because I’m okay with you by my side. I’m not as scared, and honestly, I never want to know what it’s like to miss you because it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I really don’t want that.”
He chokes, and it reveals more than Taehyung can put into words. That he’s worried that’s exactly what will happen, and he’s terrified.
“That’s not going to happen.” Jungkook says it assuringly, his wet eyes brightening. He releases Taehyung’s waist to slither his arms over his shoulders instead, and presses into the back of Taehyung’s neck until their foreheads are touching again. “I felt like a jerk when you told me about the job offer because my first thought was how much I’m going to hate being so far from you.”
Taehyung hesitates and he thinks over Jungkook’s words, how they’re reassuring but he needs more. And he hates to ask because he worries Jungkook will feel pressure to stay and he’ll hate it.
But Jungkook has always known him the best, known how he felt even when Taehyung hasn’t said it out loud. And, even if right now that’s not the case, he still gives Taehyung what he needs.
“And I really hope I can find a job soon so you don’t regret having me,” Jungkook whispers. “I don’t want you to kick me out.”
Taehyung can’t help it. He laughs. It rips out of him, and he has to be the one to bury his face against Jungkook’s shoulder to muffle it.
“Oh, Jungkook-ah,” Taehyung huffs, the tears now slipping from his eyes. “I have been so afraid that you were going to realize moving was a mistake and go back home.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen, stunned. His lips form a small ‘o’ as he makes a questioning sound. Taehyung halts anxiously, squeezing Jungkook tighter as the pause builds and tenses with anticipation.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Jungkook says it like it’s absurd. “I miss home, and I miss my family, but I can deal with that. I don’t think I can deal with missing you. Because I—well —”
Jungkook struggles for a moment before he takes one arm back and waves it to the painted bench. “You painted my favorite place in the world, but it’s only my favorite place because it’s ours. Why did you paint it?”
There’s a lot Taehyung could say to that. A long list of memories and feelings that go alongside them, but he doesn’t know if he has the guts to be so bold when he never has been before.
Even if the whispered reminder of their kiss in his mind makes him think maybe he could be a pinch bold. At least tread into the honest-about-his-feelings territory.
“Because it’s ours,” is what Taehyung replies. “Because it feels like home too.”
Jungkook smiles. It makes his wet eyes shine. “I love you, Taehyung. I’m not going anywhere.”
It’s what Taehyung needs to hear. Out loud and clear. The urge to kiss Jungkook hits strongly, but he doesn’t get the chance to move before Jungkook’s mouth is on him.
“I wouldn’t think of it,” Jungkook whispers. “Right here is where I want to be.” He squeezes his arms around Taehyung, embracing him further. “As long as you’ll have me.”
Taehyung isn’t actually sure it’s considered a kiss because Jungkook’s lips hit teeth next from how wide he smiles. “Perhaps, if you keep kissing me, you can stay.”
Jungkook chuckles, head shaking. “I’ve been wanting to since the first time you told me off for stealing your bench.”
Taehyung can’t quite grasp what he’s hearing. He hesitates as his brain tries to catch up. “What?”
“I love you, Taehyung,” Jungkook says, more firmly this time. Like a declaration. “I have loved you a long time and will love you a long time. Even if—”
Before he can finish with what Taehyung assumes he’s going to say, he kisses Jungkook again. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to stop. “Same for me. And with the bench. Used to dream about kissing you on it.”
Jungkook giggles and pulls them together so their cheeks are together. He holds him tight, pulling at him until they’re moving across the room.
“Is this wall dry?”
Taehyung nods slowly. “Why?”
Jungkook grins wide as he steps back once more until his back is pressed against the bench. “Go ahead. Live your dream. Being with you is already me living mine.”