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if flowers could speak they would gather in the bottom of his throat until he'd vomit, coughing a mixture of saliva and petals.
jimin was in love with his best friend taehyung. it never came as a self revelation. he guessed he knew even before he could piece together what love truly was. jimin thought it was cruel, how the world could punish him for loving with all his might. the most tragic part about his life was he was fully aware of his unrequited love. it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the feelings taehyung and jungkook had for each other.
when the first petal appeared his chest felt heavy, not from the stems of flowers rooted into his lungs but from how real everything was. he thought he had it under control but everything was spiraling as his throat itched from the petals and tears were threatening to fall. jimin slouched onto the sink. whimpering sobs tipped out of his mouth.
for a second he almost missed the knock on the bathroom door, "jimin, are you okay?" he heard yoongi ask. his tone revealed his weary feelings as he gently played with the door knob. jimin hoped for his voice not to falter but it was too late, the moment he said yeah yoongi knew something was up. "i'm coming in."
before jimin could protest and lock himself in yoongi had already opened the door taking in the scene of petals in the sink and a very tired looking jimin wiping the saliva off his chin in distress. yoongi quickly shut the door behind him. his eyes widened, "jimin," he whispered.
he knew it was only his name; however that's all it took for jimin to break down against yoongi's chest with a loud sob and angry fat tears down his red cheeks. he felt hot from anger and the thought of everything being so surreal. this was jimin right now, all he could do was cry in front of yoongi wishing so much he never learned how to love but he guessed it was always going to end up the same way. no matter what he would always end up loving taehyung.
that was the bitter reality about jimin.
he begged for it to be left a secret. he didn't want to reveal how love sick he was yet, especially when everybody would come to the conclusion that it was taehyung's fault. yoongi knew it was taehyung, it only took him a second to figure it out. jimin could tell yoongi was careful with him always being cautious when taehyung was around.
at first, everything was okay. the only time the petals announced their arrival was after a long day of school when he left his guard down. taehyung would wither himself into jimin's mind leaving only petals and nothing else.
he thought he could hide it. the white petals made their appearance gradually day by day. he'd be at school when his mind lingered towards taehyung -with his beautiful tan skin and brown hair- longer than expected resulting in secluding himself from teachers and students. they'd appear when the group was together watching a movie, he wasn't sure what he was watching. his eyes fell to the scene in front of him, both taehyung and jungkook with their hands together enjoying the movie.
it settled a bitter feeling in the bottom of his stomach. how could he have fallen in love with someone who never sparred him the time of the day? sure, taehyung was affectionate towards everyone including jimin, actually especially jimin. they've been friends since they were eight. taehyung knew no boundaries when he was with jimin. he'd give him simple quick kisses on top of his forehead or cheek making jimin wish they had an ounce of meaning.
he excused himself to the bathroom. a cough erupted when taehyung looked back smiling bright at jimin. he knew he was fucked the moment taehyung even acknowledged him. his coughing never stopped until he reached the bathroom feeling the flowers stick to his palate until all contents slithered themselves out of his mouth.
the second person who found out was jin. he was right behind yoongi when jimin excused himself to the bathroom trying to hard to contain the flowers.
"oh my god, jimin," was all jin said. he didn't waste a second to be right beside the brunet, leaving soothing rubs on his back. "for how long has this been happening?"
jimin flushed the petals down the toilet. he tried to get rid of the ghastly feeling. "three weeks now," yoongi replied.
"why didn't you guys tell me?" jin asked never breaking eye contact with jimin. his hands held onto jimin's shoulders. he felt like an open book when jin tried to search for answers. "you need to tell him. you have to or else it'll get worse. you can't stay like this forever, eventually you won't be able to stand it. you know it won't stop unless you do the surgery or they love you back."
"i-i can't do the surgery," jimin stammered feeling himself break down at the thought of never being able to love taehyung again.
"you have to," yoongi said frowning, "it's either that or being suffocated by the amount of petals."
jimin had a lot to think about like school, the surgery, taehyung, the amount of petals he had flushed down the toilet/trash can, and taehyung again.
taehyung was always on his mind. it felt like the world was taunting him because everything seemed to remind him of taehyung, it was cruel.
eventually it came to the point where jimin had to sit far away from taehyung. he would sandwich himself between jin and yoongi. neither would complain but they'd share looks that said he needed to get himself together, but jimin just couldn't yet.
taehyung was starting to suspect something was up. he'd look at jimin in confusion and a hint of disappointment every time jimin would deny his request to hang out or sit together. the eldest would pretend he never saw it mostly for his sake, he couldn't bring himself to admit he was the one hurting taehyung.
the day the whole group finally discovered his disease was when they all gathered around a campfire in an abandon building. jimin tried his best to avoid the gazes taehyung curiously shot at him. he'd stare at the fire drowning out the conversations happening. the moment jimin looked up he was right on time to catch the kiss jungkook and taehyung shared.
at first he felt the petals shoot up towards his parched throat erupting a never ending coughing fit.
then, jin and yoongi shared worried glances.
"jimin are you okay?" taehyung's voice was laced with concern which only made it worse for jimin as tears were gathering in the outer edges of his eyes.
finally, a handful of petals graced themselves out and onto the floor in front of them.
everybody froze. it took them a fraction of a second before panic along with pity rose. jimin felt sick he tuned out the words coming from his friends mouths. he walked away coughing so much he was sure at any minute he'd have his lungs on his hands.
taehyung was the first one to get up, "wait, taehyung," jin said, "it's better if you let yoongi and i talk to him."
"i'm his best friend. i can't leave him alone when he needs me!"
"you don't understand," yoongi began in irritation, "you're the last person he needs right now."
taehyung took a while to process his words. he settled himself beside jungkook, "oh."
after that jimin avoided taehyung as much as possible. the petals kept coming out with no limit. he wanted it all to stop but the more he thought about taehyung the more petals jimin threw away.
he was embarrassed and ashamed; he wouldn't answer a single text sent from his friends. he'd shut his door not allowing a single person to step foot in his flower contaminated room not even jin or yoongi. he knew they would try to convince him to do the surgery, but jimin couldn't-- he wouldn't.
taehyung 3:56am
jiminnie please answer
taehyung 8:24am
please come to school please im worried about you
taehyung 2:01am
we miss you we just wanna know if ur ok
taehyung 5:38pm
we need to talk about it
when taehyung arrived in front of jimin's porch he wasted no time to knock. he didn't mention to anyone that he was finally going to visit his best friend. he knew if he even left the name jimin out of his mouth he'd be tangled in a wave of useless tirades from all of his hyungs.
when jimin's mother saw taehyung he wasn't sure if he could describe her expression as relief or maybe disbelief. she probably thought he was there to rescue jimin. maybe he was, taehyung hadn't really thought about what he was going to say to jimin but point was it'd been so long since taehyung had seen jimin. he missed him so much.
"jiminnie," taehyung turned the door knob around, slightly nervous over the elders appearance. was jimin okay? how would he react to see him? would he ignore him? "can i come in?"
it took a little over fifteen seconds (taehyung was counting) before he felt the knob move against his palm, and jimin open the door.
maybe it was a bad idea for jimin to answer taehyung. the moment he saw him petals threatened to choke him. it didn't take long before tears were falling out of jimin's eyes.
everything was so cruel. his stomach squeezed in pain at the energy being sapped out of him from vomiting so much.
taehyung held onto jimin's wrist. with his index finger he traced shapes on the skin in a way to sooth his best friend. it seemed to have no effect, the contact between their skins triggered petals onto the bottom of their feet. "no, no, nonononono," taehyung pleaded through the raw coughs jimin emitted. taehyung led them to the bed. he swiped a tear away from the elders cheek, he was unsure of what to do as a single petal graced itself onto his hand.
"i can't make them stop," jimin admitted meekly in defeat.
taehyung didn't say anything right away, instead he continued to rub his thumb on jimin's cheeks. his shoulders felt heavy from regret. he wished he could love the shorter boy back, but he just couldn't. he settled with hugging jimin tightly as if at minute he'd disappear through his fingers leaving only petals as evidence of his existence.
jimin's shallow breathing came to a halt at the contact. he then took a shaky breath beside taehyung's neck. his body screamed in content, maybe if he tried hard enough he could imagine taehyung's hug meant less pity and more mutual love.
they stayed like that for a while until taehyung felt his body go stiff. he shifted himself away getting comfortable in the eldest bed. he motioned jimin to lay beside him. jimin did as told and relaxed himself. they were facing each other not saying a single word. taehyung wrapped his arms around jimin's chest snuggling himself closer until his nose bumped against the short brunet's chest and jimin could rest his chin on taehyung's head.
they stayed there silently listening to each other breathe and the sharp clatter of plates and cups being hit against the sink downstairs from jimin's room. it took taehyung a while to finally let words come out of his lips. "is it possible to love two people?" taehyung asked interlacing his fingers with jimin's. he peered up from his lashes shyly awaiting jimin's response.
jimin's breath hitched. taehyung's words left a bitter taste in his mouth. he tried to hide the look of hurt. "no," he finally responded. he wanted to say more but his thoughts were scattered around his head. he held on tighter to taehyung. he wasn't sure if he wanted to have the scene he was in last longer since the events were taking a different turn into something that would damage both of them due to reality.
taehyung swallowed hard. he wasn't sure what he expected but it certainly wasn't that, "oh."
"it's not possible, tae. it's just not possible," the conversation shivered down jimin's spine placing a frown tightly on his mouth, that held a dam of emotions that could spill any moment. "not when i'm the one vomiting petals. you don't love me the way you think you do," his chest rumbled. the flowers itched their way up his throat, they threatened to fall at the thought of taehyung pressed against him and never loving him back. "please don't lie about something so crucial. it's not going to fix anything. you can't fix it when it's crumbled to an extent that can never be resolved."
"b-but," taehyung stuttered out words that were the tell, jimin had stabbed him with his answer. "i'm sorry." he repeated his apology as if it was a mantra against jimin's chest. he knew taehyung was sorry for never loving him.
jimin was sorry too.