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Roxas sat down on the ledge of the clocktower, finding it one of the only places that he could go to for comfort now. He didn’t bother to stop at the ice cream stall when the woman working there, who’d become quite familiar with the former trio, asked if something was wrong when she noticed his saddened expression.
He brought his knees to his chest, trying to think of something, anything to get his mind off of what had happened. A few days ago, he had a fight with Axel. He was so sick of him never telling him the truth, or what was going on, or anything really. Maybe…Maybe he had his reasons. That’s what Roxas would like to believe.
Twilight Town was the only place he could go…for now. For once, he didn’t think about what was to come, or what would happen. He could only focus on the present moment, him just sitting there with nothing to do, nowhere to go or call home.
“Where did I think I could go?” He chuckled. “What a joke.”
Roxas once again tried to take his mind off things. He thought of the last time they all were able to sit up there together and speak to each other, like friends were supposed to. He thought of Xion’s smile, Axel’s hair getting messed up in the wind. Oh yeah, he’d forgotten how breezy it was that day. The redhead complained about it for at least a good 5 minutes while he and her laughed so hard their stomachs ached.
Then they started to ask Axel to tell them some stories. They used to do this all the time. He’d come up with the craziest things while they all laughed, almost dropping their ice creams or themselves all the while.
He remembered the first time they did that. When Xion finally spoke to Axel, he cheered and clapped, making a scene for anyone below them to see. It was that very day eating ice cream became something like a family tradition to them.
Roxas jerked his head to the side of the tower near the entrance to the stairwell when he heard familiar footsteps.
If it was Axel, he didn’t want to speak to him. He had nothing good to say to that two-faced dipshit. He couldn’t, not after everything he’d kept from him.
”Finding out the truth doesn’t always work out for the best.”
”What makes you so sure about that?”
”I have the right to know the truth!”
Why would he say something like that? Weren’t they supposed to tell each other the truth? Isn’t that what friends would do?
If that's true, then I guess Axel just isn’t his friend anymore.
But Roxas didn’t want that. No, he cared about his two friends too much for him to not consider them friends. It felt like that term was a buzzword at this point. Being used as an excuse, thrown around left and right.
The footsteps sat down next to him. Before he could say anything, an all too familiar treat was shoved in his face by someone he thought (and was partially made to believe) was long gone.
“Xion! You're here! You’re…okay?”
He would’ve cheered more if it weren’t for the dark circles under the silent girl’s eyes which he was told were completely normal for people to have. But she didn’t look normal. She wasn’t smiling like she mostly did around him and the absent man, she seemed unusually tired, and she seemed sad. Almost like she regretted something. He’d learned that word from the place he learned most human emotions—Beast’s Castle. When Roxas and Xion asked, Beast told him he regretted yelling at Belle and wished he hadn’t. He told him that was what it meant to regret.
“Before anything else happens today, before you ask any questions…I’d like to say I’m sorry.
He didn’t reply. He took the blue ice cream bar in front of him and nipped off a small bite, letting the painfully cold taste linger on his tongue. Roxas didn’t bother to say anything else for the next few minutes. He just stared out at the small, bustling town below him. The faint chatter of the people below at the station and the faint hum of the evening train went from one ear and out the other as he drifted off into his mind, the world around him now a vague memory. Sometimes during meetings he’d do this thing where he’d zone out but it’s like he would forget where he was at.
“Did you speak with Axel? You seem upset.” Xion broke the silence after swallowing down her third bite, snapping him out of his train of thought again.
“Oh him? Yeah, I did.” He scoffed, now a little tense from the memory of their previous fight. “Why do you ask?”
“He seemed a little…odd after the last time I saw him.”
“Yeah, he was like that again earlier.” The blonde sighed, feeling the regret he saw on his friend’s face a few minutes ago. “I left the organization today.” He said, sounding a little more cheery since he knew Xion would be proud of him. After her little “trip” with the imposter, she’d had a bit of a different belief about their workplace. Xion knew she and especially him were both being overworked by Saix and Xemnas. Axel knew this too, but was in no position to ask for a lighter load of missions on their behalfs.
“Good. It bothered me that they still worked you like a dog with no pay or any kind of compensation. You did so much for them, Roxas. Yet they continued to give you nothing in return.” Her face stayed still, almost cold like Xemnas’ when he spoke during meetings. She kept her hood up, even though she was next to him, which that combined with her tone and facial expression freaked Roxas out a little, but dare he say that and he just about bet his head would be severed off his body.
He guessed Xion noticed this and smiled a little. “Don’t worry, they did that to me too. They used me like a ragdoll, a plaything for them to use when needed and discard when not or proved useless. There was no need for you and I there, not if they won’t tell us why we were needed, right Roxas?” She looked at him. Her eyes…they were like a bright ocean blue. Too bright for Xion. After over 300 days sitting atop this tower next to her, he could tell you just about every one of her features in meticulous detail. If he wasn’t scared shitless earlier, he was now. He could feel a fast racing, like something running for its life where his heart should be.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. “I brought the ice cream, as both a means of cheering you up,” She stood on the edge of the tower, paying no mind to the terrified hand of Roxas reaching out to pull her back.
“And to tell you I’m afraid...I'm afraid I'm out of time.”
Roxas had so many questions. He pulled his hand back and just sat there, watching her step out into the vast portrait-like place around them, an invisible floor in the sky as she looked to the sunset above them.
“Even if I’m not ready, I have to make this choice. It’s what I must do.” She removed her hood slowly, revealing a young man with brown hair and those piercing bright blue eyes he was so afraid of earlier.
“You’ve poured so many memories into me, given me so much…that I feel like I’m about to overflow.” Xion put her hands over the place where her heart should lie, a silent tear streaming down her cheek. “Yet I’m so grateful for all of it. It shocked me that someone would care that much about a mistake such as I.”
“You are not a mistake, Xion. Don’t think of yourself that way.” His brows furrowed
“Look at me, Roxas.” She turned to face him, her voice sharp. He did as he was told, his gaze committing every detail of this man who was now the face of Xion to memory. “Who do you see?”
“If you see someone else’s face…a boy’s face…” He nodded, confirming Xion’s fears and questions as she closed her eyes, stretching her arms out to feel the warm of the evening sundown be swept inside the leather of her usual trench coat. A sympathetic smile was plastered on her face. “Then it means my time is up. This puppet must play her part in this sinful show.”
“Puppet?” He almost chuckled. “Xion no, you’re-” He struggled to find the words. “You’re not a puppet. I know it’s hard to ignore Saix, but if you would just-”
“There is no more time for “you’re not this” and “you’re not that”. I am a puppet and I’ve accepted that. It’s time you did too, Roxas.”
He stood up, frustrated from this morning's events and now this. He couldn’t understand anything with Axel and now Xion too. This friendship of theirs was falling apart at seams stitched together with lies.
“No! No you’re not! Stop telling yourself that.” His voice grew a little more pitched with his last few words as he pleaded to Xion, trying to convince her with every way in the world of what she really was—a person. A very lovely one, at that.
She turned back away from him. She couldn’t bear to look him In the eye, or at all. “Enough. We don’t have time for this.”
“What is with you two and never telling me anything? What do you mean you’re “out of time”? What kind of riddle-y bullshit did Xemnas put in your head last night?” Roxas shouted, his chest rising and falling at a faster rate.
"How do you know about that..?” Xion asked, a tint of fear in her voice as she glanced over her shoulder.
“Axel told me this morning. It was during our fight.” Even more pent-up anger washed forward like a strong tide as he thought of more things he’d wanted to say to the mentioned man earlier.
So many things gone unspoken, all for another’s sake.
An uncomfortable silence fell between them.
Xion sighed, looking at her feet as she collected her thoughts, and finally spoke with a much calmer voice. “This is him, Roxas. It’s Sora. It’s the person who connects us.” She gestured to her face and hair.
“You know, I wish we could be two others. Two others with hearts, so we could’ve had a proper friendship, or maybe we could’ve even been lovers. But look at him, he is the reason we can’t. He is the reason you and I must give up our existences.” She walked further out, once more scaring Roxas as he reached out for her again, taking a step or two outward onto the floor.
“I must become a part of him.”
“But you and I are both a part of him,” She concealed her head and face once more and reached a hand out. “Which means you’re next, Roxas. I must make you a part of me, too. Then we can be together inside of Sora, completing him and us.” She tightened it into a fist, a shroud of darkness circling around her as she grins mindlessly. This was not Xion that stood before him. No, this was some kind of monster Xemnas had made out of her. Roxas didn’t know what their lord had done to her when he whisked her away last night, but if this is what it created, he’d make sure the man had known just what he had done. He deserved any pain and agony that came his way after all he’d put the two teens through.
“Don’t you see? This is why I was created.” What a terrible purpose then. It must’ve been awful, having been created a replica, treated as a person by those who cared, and forced to be a puppet at their end. No one should have to go through such torture at such a young age.
The dark mist surrounded everything in the area of the two. Roxas squinted, faintly making out the figure of an unmasked Xion. he ran towards her as the light seeped into this dark abyss with each step. But as he finally reached her, she faded, vanished in an instant.
He turned at the commotion behind him, only for his soul to feel like it was jumping out of him. At the tower’s edge stood a large monster with two sharp swords, and bore a mixture of a pinkish-red, white, and matte black. It took a fighting stance, and with a heavy breath, so did Roxas. Alas, the final fight had begun.
He charged toward the thing without a second thought, fearing for what little of a life he had. One of its large blades swung towards him, and he missed it by a hair, earning a nasty scrape on his ankle. Using the weapon for support, he leaped into the air, striking at the creature's face only to be met with a counter sweep with its other sword and flung across the see-through floor. Trying to land on his feet, Roxas didn’t have the best precision and his foot twisted as he landed on one knee, spraining it. He grit his teeth, taking in a deep breath and trying not to scream as the first wave of pain shot through him like lightning.
The monstrous thing brought its blades together and aimed for the twilight-timed sky, tons of bright blue beams blinging and harming him as he flew in a zig-zag pattern, stumbling a little after he’d be hit with a part of one of the beams while he flew at the creature. He tightened his bloody hands around the handle of his keyblade, letting a small “ouch” out at his cheek getting swiped by its blade, and aiming for its chest. He managed to actually hit something, leaving a small crack in its chest plate.
He leaped back, breathing frantically but not looking away for a moment, trying to stop his thoughts and not let down his guard. The thing held tightly to its knees, taking a breather, and then swinging at Roxas again with no warning. This surprised him and he leaped back, almost falling as the thing once more brought its dual weapons together, putting them in an x-shaped cross as a few beams circled around him with great speed, closing in on him just as fast. With no time to waste, he quickly summoned a dark portal, leaping inside and closing it once he was out of sight from the beast. It turned to the side, watching him sigh, and question himself, before his expression grew aggressive once more, landing the final blow as he sliced the creature in half.
Holding its hands to its head, it made a few noises of distorted uncomfort before a bright light snapped through its head like a bullet, causing it to fall to its knees as the black mist rose around it once more. Roxas was hit with the same sensation, holding his hands to his head for comfort, but soon finding he could no longer balance as he fell over, falling to the floor as it, too, shattered and disappeared like the creature, and he fell down below in front of the station, screaming for his life and desperately reaching for something, anything to pull him back up as he did.
Coming out of the dark fog, Xion returned and tried to soothe the ache in her head, but found herself too wobbly to be on her knees and fell over. Roxas caught her and laid her gently in his lap, making sure to treat her like a delicate piece of glass so he wouldn’t harm her any further. He was covered in scrapes, blood, sweat, and bruises. He’d been like this on missions before, but it was never this bad.
“Who are you…again?” He asked, his voice a little hoarse. “It’s weird, I feel like I’m forgetting something really important, but I can’t figure out what it is.” He just looked at the girl and smiled weakly.
She frowned, moving a strand of blonde hair behind his bruised cheek. “You’ll be…better off now…Roxas.” She took a breath with each space between her words, trying to catch in as she panted softly, her head laid back as it faced his.
Soon, small little light particles started floating above them from her. Roxas looked at them, a strange sense of guilt overcoming him. “Am I…the one who did this to you?” He looked at her, and then up at the golden flakes, a frown forming. “I’m…I’m so sorry if I am.” He whispered, swallowing back a watery lump in his throat.
“Don’t apologize, you sweetheart.” She chuckled rawly. “You didn’t do anything. It was my choice to go away now.” She breathed, her chest heavy. Closing her eyes, Xion gave him a small smile. “Better that, then to let Xemnas have his way, and get rid of me himself. I belong with Sora. Now, I’m going back to be with him. He is my home, not here. I’m sorry I tried to take you with me, I should’ve just asked.”
Roxas giggled. “I still would’ve said no, though.”
“That’s alright, I understand.”
More particles came through as Xion grew weaker, her power and existence fading back to the mentioned man faster. Putting a hand to the one around her shoulders, she took in a breath, let it linger for a moment, and let it out, a few particles following it. “Roxas, I need you…to do me a favor.” The said man nodded, intertwining his hand with hers. “Of course.”
“All those hearts I captured..” She coughed into her hand, wiping away the blood on her coat as her feet and ankles froze in place, covered in frosty light. “..Kingdom Hearts…set them free, please.” Sharp spikes grew from her immoble legs, causing her to grunt. “It’s far too late for me..my existence, and to fix my mistakes. Promise me…no matter what…you won’t let Xemnas have Kingdom Hearts. You…have to free those hearts, Roxas. Please…do it for me.”
“I will,” He swallowed, sniffling as that wet sensation bloomed in his eyes. “I promise.
She smiled. A genuine one this time. “Good. Goodbye, Roxas. I hope I can see you again one day. I'm glad…I got to meet you, and Axel too of course. Maybe things will turn out better for us then.” She cupped his cheek, gently caressing it with her gloved thumb. “You guys were my best friends. Never forget, it’s the truth.”
As the frost-like light spread up past her stomach, Roxas couldn’t contain his emotions anymore. The wetness fell from his eyes as he grabbed ahold of her hand tightly, keeping it close to him. “No! Xion, wait! Don’t leave me here, not yet! Just…please stay!” He strained the little bit of his voice he could conjure up from all the shouting he’d done today, cracking and sounding a little too high pitched once he couldn’t bear to speak anymore.
It was too late for her to hear him though, she was long gone. Her eyes were closed and her smile was fading, as there was nothing alive in her to keep the muscles in that position. The remaining parts of her body froze over as her and her existence faded into particles, temporarily free from the burden of this cruel world.
He looked up, his eyes wide as he watched the particles float up over and over again in his mind like an endless loop as he just sat there on his knees. Nowhere to go, nowhere to run. He stayed there like a bored, mindless baby with his hands over his thighs and his mouth a little slack. He looked down to see a pink shell, one he knew was from Xion, laying in his hand. It was the last thing of her he held in his hand. At the thought of her smile facing him, back many days ago, on the very day he showed her the clocktower, and what sea salt ice cream was, the day that forged their friendship, his eyes squinted as a whine left his throat, wet droplets soaking his lashes. “Xion…” The name came out of his quivering lips a choked sob, his cheeks growing damp as tears fell and continued to fall for a while.
A minute? Five? An hour? Roxas didn’t keep track of how long he sat on his knees with his arms crossed, hugging himself as he let out whines and wails and whimpers while tears soaked his face and down his neck, a disgusting saltiness left on his lips which he dared not lick.
“How did this happen? Where did I fuck up this time?” Axel groaned, his hand buried in his face as he sat up on his bed, sighing deeply. He noticed a small envelope on his window sill with rough but eligible handwriting that read: “To Axel, I’m sorry.” With a frowning face next to it. It was obviously Roxas, because one, that’s his handwriting. And Two, he’s the only one that would put a frown on the front of an envelope.
The redhead opened it to find a small note and a stick that read “winner” in all caps.
He gave me his winner stick…?
On the note with the same handwriting read, “Dear Axel, I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier, and for leaving, and for sneaking into your room to put this in here, and anything else I might have done. I’m very confused about what I am now, because earlier I cried. You said we can’t cry because we don’t have hearts. If I cried, does that mean I have a heart? Speaking of hearts, I’m not ever coming back because I have a promise to keep to someone, which involves freeing Kingdom Hearts. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me…but I understand if you can’t. Please know I didn’t mean it when I said I hated you earlier, I was just angry and I’m sorry if I hurt you by saying that. Even though you’re an idiot sometimes I actually care about you and Xion a lot. I hope I can see you again someday. Your friend long gone, Roxas.”
“Oh that idiot!” He shouted, gripping the paper tight and causing it to crumple a little.
“Axel? You ok, man?” Demyx shouted outside his door.
The said man shoved the note and stick into his pocket, throwing his sheets over him. “I’m fine, Demyx, I’m just…I’m just worried.”