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He was the sun

Summary:

Kirishima Eijiro was like the sun, to Katsuki at least.

People seemed to surround the boy, looking to him for light when they lacked it and basking in his rays. Bakugou wasn’t any different, despite his efforts to avoid distractions when he came to U.A, he, like many others, quickly fell into Kirishima's orbit. And Bakugou wasn’t necessarily mad about it, he liked Kirishima, he hated it, but he did, but Bakugou couldn’t help but feel guilty for this, somehow, he feels less like a planet and more like a black hole.

or

Bakugou feels guilty for his crush on a certain red haired boy

Notes:

a/n: this is an angsty one so buckle up buttercup!

cross-posted on my tumblr @cherri-tomato

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Kirishima Eijiro was like the sun, to Katsuki at least.

 

 People seemed to surround the boy, looking to him for light when they lacked it and basking in his rays. Bakugou wasn’t any different, despite his efforts to avoid distractions when he came to U.A, he, like many others, quickly fell into Kirishima's orbit. And Bakugou wasn’t necessarily mad about it, he liked Kirishima, he hated it, but he did, but Bakugou couldn’t help but feel guilty for this, somehow, he feels less like a planet and more like a black hole. 

 

Kirishima smiles at the other people at the lunch table and Katsuki feels his heart flop around uselessly in his chest, Kirishima is laughing, someone probably said something funny that Katsuki has blocked out in favour of watching Kirishima, which he also felt guilty for, Kirishima was the sun and Bakugou was a selfish black hole, a constant threat to everything around him, just waiting for the moment he’s close enough to fully consume every bit of Kirishima's light and steal his warmth from everyone. 

 

And Kirishima didn’t need that because Kirishima was the sun, and everyone wanted to be close enough to feel his heat on their skin, but Bakugou probably didn’t deserve that.

 

Bakugou enters the 1-A Dorms kitchen to get a glass of water and hopefully calm his busy mind, grabbing a glass from the cupboard, filling it with ice then water. He takes a long drink, leaning against the counter, when he pulls the glass away from his lips, he sighs softly, and looking up, his eyes lock on some movement in his peripheral vision. Kirishima stands in the hallway, his red hair is down and dripping with water, a towel is around his neck and he wears a crimson riot shirt and a pair of shorts, Bakugou swallows hard, forcing his eyes back to Kirishima's face. 

 

“You’re up late, well, late for you.” Kirishima chuckles, joining Bakugou in the kitchen and opening the fridge. Bakugou watches him, his hand gripping the counter, “Yeah well…I couldn’t sleep.” He says, his voice is hoarse and he feels a lump in his throat. Kirishima looks over at him, his eyes full of concern, and Bakugou feels dizzy and kind of sick, because Kirishima was clearly worried about him and it seemed ridiculous for the sun to worry about anything.

 

“Are you, are you okay?” Kirishima asks, his voice wavering slightly and Bakugou has to put the glass down so he doesn’t crush it between his fingers. “I’m fine.” He says, which is almost true, he technically was okay, he wasn’t hurt and he didn’t have anything to really be upset about, nothing that he could explain to Kirishima anyways. Kirishima runs a hand through his wet hair, sighing softly, he smiles and closes the fridge door, walking over to Bakugou and leaning against the counter next to him.

 

Bakugou feels like he’s about to pass out Kirishima smells like soap and old spice deodorant, Which Kirishima once told him has “the manliest smell” and Bakugou doesn’t really care about “manliness” but something about Kirishima made it sound appealing just like everything about Kirishima.

 

Kirishima grins at him, his arm brushing against Bakugou, “If it's nothing why are you awake?” which was a fair point since Bakuhou had consistently turned in for the night at 10-pm since the first night in the dorms. Bakugou doesn't speak for a long moment, what was he supposed to say? ‘I couldn't sleep because I'm so in love with you and I hate myself for it’? Hell no.But Kirishima is still looking at him with those big, red eyes that he could never say no to, so he sighs and tries to come up with an answer that wouldn't require him to lie straight to Kirishima's face.

 

“I'm just…stressed out. From class.” He feels the need to specify, and Kirishima, who was so kind, good, pouts sadly at him, placing a hand on Bakugou's shoulder in a  show of support. Bakugou tenses, not because he doesn't appreciate the sentiment, but because the feeling of Kirishima's hand was bringing up a lot of feelings he was desperately trying to ignore. Kirishima notices and slowly removes his hand, looking down with an almost ashamed expression that makes Bakugou feel nauseous, he doesn't know why Kirishima was making that face but he felt like it was probably his fault, Because he was close now, close enough to steal away the light of the sun that was Kirishima, and this was exactly what he had feared.

 

“Bakugou…” Kirishima speaks his name quietly, voice delicate and gentle, like Bakugou was something that would break if he spoke too harshly, and Bakugou thinks he must have had a pitiful expression on his face to warrant such a reaction. Kirishima reaches out, like he's about to touch him again, but hesitates then pulls his hand away, looking somewhat pained. And Bakugou wants so badly to take Kirishima in his arms and tell him he doesn't mind the simple touches, but Kirishima is the sun, and one can not simply hold the sun.

 

The two boys stand there in the kitchen for what feels like an eternity, and Bakugou thinks he wouldn't mind an eternity with Kirishima, but not like this. “Will you please talk to me…?” Kirishima says, his voice pleading and desperate, Bakugou looks up, red eyes meeting red eyes, and Kirishima swallows, his eyes widening slightly for a reason Bakugou can't possibly begin to decipher “Bakugou?” He says, most likely because the blonde hadn't actually said anything yet, Bakugou looks away, his eyes landing on his glass, the ice is almost melted into water now and he wonders just how long they had been standing here in a tense silence. 

 

“Do you…” Bakugou starts and he thinks Kirishima startled at the sound of his voice but his eyes remain fixated on the condensation dripping down the glass and onto the counter, he should have put a coaster down, he thinks. “Do you ever think about love or whatever?” His voice isn't as demanding as he'd like it to be, sounding more meek and embarrassed than he thinks it’s ever sounded. Kirishima shifts, turning his body so it was facing Bakugous despite Bakugou still looking at that damn cup of water. 

 

“Sometimes.” Kirishima says after a while, his voice sounds somber “do…do you?” He sounds nervous and Bakugou can feel his ruby eyes watching him, like he was trying to look deep into Bakugou's soul and find the answer. Bakugou doesn't make him search though, “...yeah.” he says, and Kirishima inhales sharply, “oh.” he says, which is annoying to Bakugou because that was hardly a reaction to his attempt at an emotional moment, so he turns, intending to say something snarky and most likely unwarranted, but just as he's opening his mouth, his cut off by Kirishima pushing his lips against Bakugous.

 

Bakugou doesnt know exactly how to respond, well, he did, but he was currently frozen in shock because if Kirishima was the sun, and Bakugou was a black hole, why was Kirishima holding his face with one of his shaking hands and kissing him like Bakugou was someone worth kissing? Bakugou, who can barely form a coherent thought at this point, stands there like a damn fool, eyes open and wide in shock, and before he can process what exactly is happening and kiss back, Kirishima tears himself away from Bakugou with a panicked expression. 

 

“I- Fuck, im sorry.” And Kirishima looks like he's about to cry, which was maybe the worst thing someone can do after kissing you, but Bakugou isnt about to fuck this up, well, anymore than he might have already, so he puts a hand on the back of Kirishimas neck and smashes their faces together in a kiss that was much more aggressive than one would assume a reassuring kiss would be but Kirishima doesnt seem to think so because he places his hands on Bakugous face and kisses back with the same level of passion Bakuou hopes hes using.

 

They part and Kirishima, with a dazed expression, traces Bakugou's face with his eyes before leaning in and pressing another kiss to Bakugou's lips, and then another, then another, then one more before moving back a bit, looking him in the eyes. Bakugou feels dizzy again so he lets his head fall onto Kirishima's shoulder, inhaling deeply, trying to commit this moment to memory, his fingers trace up and down Kirishima's back, and Kirishima lets out a breath. Bakugou was pretty sure Kirishima was about to slip through his fingers like sand before he’d wake up in a cold sweat alone in his room, so he holds on to Kirishima like a lifeline, and Kirishima begins to pull away, and Bakugou is letting go of him and mentally preparing to leave this dream, leave the sun and return to the cold. 

 

But Kirishima doesn't disappear, instead, he presses a soft kiss on Bakugous cheek then quietly asks “stay in my room tonight?” And his voice is soft and pleading and Bakugou nods because he doesn't trust himself to speak. They walk up to Kirishima's room in silence and Kirishima's hand grips his the whole time,and his palms feel clammy but Bakugou doesn't mind. Inside Kirishima's room they lay down on his bed, which smells like Kirishima and feels as warm as Kirishima's arms around him, Kirishima rolls over to lay on his side, watching Bakugou, whos staring at a small spot of discolouration on the ceiling that kind of looks like a turtle. 

 

“Bakugou…” Kirishima says his name again, it's not as sad this time, and Bakugou turns his head to show Kirishima he's listening, because he hadn't said something unreasonably aggressive yet and he's pretty sure the moment he opens his mouth, all the soft and gentle parts of him would immediately revert back into the black hole that would eat the sun once again, so he just hums quietly and turns to lay on his side as well, mirroring Kirishima's position and locking eyes with him, Kirishima reaches out, very slowly, like he's expecting Bakugou to move away, and Bakugou doesn't think even need to think about it for a moment before he leans in, kisses Kirishima on the lips and takes his hand. When he pulls away, he remains close to Kirishima, so close that their noses are almost touching, and they lay like that for a while, until Kirishima closes his eyes “i think about love all the time.” he says, no louder than a whisper, which is fine because Bakugou is so close he could hear him regardless.

 

 “Me too.” Bakugou says, squeezing Kirishima's hand, Kirishima opens his eyes and once again they're looking at each other, “i think about you all the time.” Kirishima says, like it was a clarification, which makes Bakugou think Kirishima might mean he loves him, but since he isn't sure he says “oh yeah?” Kirishima nods, then he lifts their intertwined hands and kisses Bakugous gently “do you…do you think of me?” Kirishima asks him, and Bakugou almosts laughs, because to him, Kirishima was everything, or at least, Kirishima made everything go the way it's supposed to, to Bakugou, it was like asking if the sun was really that important, like asking if the world would keep turning if it was gone, and even if it could, who would want it too, without the sun, what would make everything else beautiful?

 

“You're all I think about, Kirishima.”  Bakugou says, because it was true and also because he didn't know how to say all the stuff about him being the sun without sounding absolutely ridiculous and cheesy as hell. Kirishima smiles and wraps his arms around Bakugou in a tight embrace that Bakugou struggles to reciprocate because Kirishima had hugged him in such a way that his arms were pinned against his sides, and if it was anyone else, Bakugou would probably find this uncomfortable, but Kirishima was warm and despite his quirk actually quite soft.

 

“I think about you all the time too, you're like, the moon or something.” And this makes Bakugou pause, the moon? What did that even mean? Apparently Kirishima can sense his confusion, because he pulls back a little and laughs awkwardly “sorry, was that too cheesy? I just mean, well, you're always there, and you're always so…well, you glow.” Bakugou gaped at him, that was his line! “I-isn’t that my line dumbass?” Bakugou says, ad Kirishima laughs “what?” 

 

Bakugou reaches over to cup Kirishima's face, holding his cheeks between his hands and staring at him with what he hopes is a sincere look in his eyes “you're the one that glows moron. You're, you're like the sun.” And he finally says it, and Kirishima looks surprised for a moment, then his eyes begin to water and he buries his face in Bakugou's chest. “Awwe Bakugou!” Kirishima sniffles, looking up at Bakugou with a dopey grin and tearful eyes “that’s so sweet-” than his eyes pool with tears and his lips wobble like he's holding back a sob, and Bakugou doesn't really understand why, but he figures whenever Kirishima wants to tell him he'll be there, so Kirishima buries his face in Bakugou's chest again and Bakugou rubs his back as Kirishima clings to him, and when Kirishima's breathing evens out, Bakugou presses a kiss to his head and closes his eyes, snuggling closer to his sleeping, well, sun, he supposes.



Kirishima Eijiro was like the sun, to Katsuki at least.

 

And if Kirishima was the sun, Bakugou was the moon, the opposite of Kirishima's warmth, but when Kirishima was with him, he thinks maybe, he might glow too, only for Kirishima though.

Notes:

a/n: did I cry writing this? yes. was I projecting? probably. did you enjoy this? I hope!

in all seriousness I'm very proud of this one so I really do hope you liked it, have a good day/night! <3