Work Text:
One day, Netzach woke up, patted the floor around him to find the book he generally used to invoke beer, and found nothing.
Understandably annoyed, he groaned and thought about just going back to sleep. Unfortunately he was truly awake for now, so he opened his eyes to hopefully localize the elusive book. Then he sat up. He checked he wasn't sitting on the book.
Nothing.
He frowned. Maybe someone had decided to either be overzealous or prank him, and had put the book back on the shelf where it was supposed to reside?
A few minutes later, the true horror of the situation was clear: every single book that could be used to make alcohol without excessively creative maneuvering was gone from the Floor. Every. Single. One.
In other circumstances, finding the culprit would have been tricky. Between those who thought Netzach should cut on drinking and those who'd happily pull a prank on him... well, that was about the whole Library, once combined. Even his own Assistant Librarians could have done it, frankly. Except there was something else missing from the Floor, and that was way more of a signature to the thievery.
So Netzach climbed. Each step of the stairs was reinforcing his intent, like each hit of a hammer on a blade was refining it toward its deadliest form.
Finally, he reached General Works.
Fortunately, an Assistant Librarian was working close enough to the entrance to spot him, and after a few seconds of shock (probably due to the fact that no one ever came all the way up) they mumbled something about finding their boss and hurried away. Good. Netzach was in no mood to play hide-and-seek with the two Patron Librarians residing here.
Only a few minutes later Roland came to meet him. Netzach let him walk all the distance, standing straighter than ever, waiting.
"Netzach, hello! What has you coming all the way up here?"
"Two things, Roland," Netzach answered, calm but firm, no trace of his usual drawl.
Roland extremely visibly went through a few seconds of wondering if he'd mixed up two Patron Librarians and frantically recalculating his universe. When he reached the conclusion that no, there was no mistake on his part, Netzach went on.
"First: give my books back."
"Hey, wait a minute, what are you–"
"Second," Netzach cut, not raising his voice, "where is your wife?"
Roland hesitated.
"I'm waiting," Netzach pointed out.
"Wow, what has gotten into you? Is this a prank? Are you somehow Yesod in disguise?"
Netzach threw him the most judgmental stare he could produce. Which was actually quite judgmental. People tended to forget (or in Roland's case, ignore to start with) that Netzach had been actively antagonistic toward the manager back in Lobotomy Corporation, even if only in words. He had thousands of years of experience of criticizing and looking down on someone.
Taken by surprise by the intensity of Netzach's gaze, Roland went through another loop of mental flailing.
"I won't repeat myself," Netzach said.
"OK OK but–"
"No but. You do have my books, and I want them back. And your wife also has something of mine."
Roland's shoulder slumped in defeat.
"Three rows down, turn right, then left when you reach the wall, Angelica should be there, if not an Assistant should be able to tell you where she's gone. And I'm gonna get your books..."
"Good."
Netzach followed the directions and, indeed, found Angelica. Not that it looked like Angelica at first glance, but it was still quite obvious it was her.
"I'm taking them back," Netzach announced, grabbing the softly glowing green critters currently hugging Angelica's face.
"Wh– what, it's–" Angelica spluttered, blinking rapidly to adapt to the sudden lack of creature blocking her vision.
"These are mine, you know," Netzach pointed out, detaching more critters from Angelica's hair and putting them on his shoulders instead.
Angelica stared, mouth half-opened, apparently going through a mental process quite similar to her husband's.
"... Netzach? Uh, nice of you to come here," she tried, her smile forced.
Netzach just continued to collect his Floor's living thingies, slowly revealing Angelica's form from under the green pile.
"Alright," Roland's voice said, "I've got your books..."
"Roland?" Angelica asked. "What's going on here?"
"The both of you stole my things," Netzach summarized coldly.
The couple flinched.
"Ouch, looks like he has no patience when he's sober," Angelica fake-whispered to Roland.
"Don't hope for more leniency if I catch you pulling the same stunt when I'm drunk," Netzach countered.
"How did you even know it was us?" Roland complained.
Netzach paused in his task; the critters helpfully flocked to him anyway.
"There are many people in this Library who are more or less interested in my Floor's creatures," he said, "but Angelica is the only one to leave with them. You're the exact opposite of subtle."
There was a silence.
"We fucked up," Roland commented.
Angelica pouted.
Eventually Netzach left with his possessions. Roland and Angelica watched him go.
"Should we be warning the others to never force him to sober up...?" Roland asked.
"No," Angelica sulked. "They deserve to live through that too."