Chapter Text
You breathed heavily, looking at your reflection in the mirror. Your ears were buzzing and your blood-red hair spread across your shoulders and in front of your face.
You swallow dryly, placing a trembling hand on your slim and athletic chest underneath, feeling, hearing your heart beating against your chest. You couldn't breathe, you couldn't...
Your hand falters on the counter and you stumble backward, falling to your knees and sideways against the wall. You tremble, huddled against the wall and closing your eyes, breathing heavily and desperately.
It should have been impossible.
It had to have been a nightmare, but it wasn't, it wasn't. God, it wasn't a dream, and it wasn't a nightmare.
It was real.
And you thought that after a while, this would pass, that you would wake up and this weird dream that seemed so real would disappear from your subconscious as you prepared for the day.
But it didn't disappear.
And it's been two days.
You...
You were the damn Eris Vanserrra.
After some time, you didn't know how long, you got up and left the large and spacious bathroom.
Your hand still trembled as you grabbed a glass of water and drank, choking and coughing quickly. Damn it. You pound on your chest a few times, trying to recover.
Madness.
It should have been madness.
It wasn't.
You breathe, still panting, still trembling as you walk over to an armchair and sit down with a thud. Breathing deeply and running a hand through your face, through your hair, and then letting your hands fall on the arms of the armchair, squeezing the padding hard enough for the fabric to wrinkle and tear.
Blessed faerie strength.
You swallow dryly.
// Days passed and you still haven't gone mad or tried to jump off a tower.
You haven't even tried to strangle someone, although some of your so-called siblings have tested your patience.
It was progress.
"What the hell is your problem, boy?" Beron, your father, damn your father, asked. Looking at you with a wrinkled forehead and lips, almost disgusted. "And why are you dressed so sloppily? We have to go to the city and you look like you came out of a brothel."
You let out a tired sigh, looking at your plate on the table. There was roast meat, rice, and dark beans, along with some potatoes and salads. Such common things, that you at least recognized.
You look for a moment at your own clothes. A loose, white shirt with the first three buttons open and dark trousers, with a belt and boots. You didn't think you were dressed so poorly, but considering how your brothers, mother, and father were dressed, you weren't surprised that you looked so poorly dressed. You should have grabbed at least one of those red tunics, they were quite pretty and maybe it would compensate for your sloppy appearance.
You turn your gaze back to your father and smile hesitantly. "A thousand apologies, my father. I didn't sleep very well, I'm afraid. Can I withdraw and dress more appropriately if you wish?" You suggest, trying to appear as submissive and Eris-like as possible. It was a good strategy, you think. Eris always had a way with words, just not as much as you imagined. Well, you're here now, why not use all the tactics from the YouTube classes on body language and dialogue you watched? It couldn't hurt, and it was going quite well so far.
Your father wrinkled his nose. "Do that later, we have things to discuss after dinner and I want you ready to leave, and you can't be efficient in your duties if you don't have at least some food in your stomach."
You raise an eyebrow. "After dinner then."
"Are you stupid? I just said that." Your father stares at you. "Eat, now."
"Yes, sir." You reply, still with a slight smile, which disappears when you look back at your plate.
///
After dinner, your father orders everyone to leave, except you. Even your mother left, but not before giving you a brief and concerned look near the door. You nod slowly while your father isn't looking, and she presses her lips together, still looking worried but leaves, the faerie guard closing the door behind her.
Your father straightens in his chair, and you look at him, trying to appear as relaxed as possible when he looks at you. "Tomorrow you're going to the city, more precisely near the city, you'll take guards with you and be well dressed."
"Any formal event I should attend?" You inquire.
"Yes, I want you to convince Lord Caesiu to marry his daughter to Lord Irion. He refuses to do so and even dared to close all the entrances to his castle. I sent a small troop to surround him."
"Wouldn't it be easier to threaten him?"
"I already did. I wouldn't mind turning him into ashes but we need him to yield his daughter to Lord Irion, and we also need him to stop this nonsense." Lord Irion. He's an idiot. You remember Eris's memories of him. He carried himself proudly and loved to torture humans and lesser faeries, not to mention he was quite the harasser. You can imagine why the young high fey, Lady Alva, didn't want to marry him.
But you couldn't just say that.
Because Lord Irion had some good numbers of soldiers, and he was one of the high fey most loyal to Beron. At least for now...
"Of course, father," you respond. "But why don't we take control of both troops?"
Beron, your father, furrows his brow at you. "They are too loyal to their high lords, killing them would require us to eliminate their troops and servants as well. And we may need those fools soon."
"I am aware," you tilt your head slightly to the side, smiling. "But what if we can make them owe us? And be even more loyal, entirely."
"What do you propose?" Your father leans forward in his chair, his gaze on yours.
"Lord Irion has a younger brother, a baby, as they say. And Lady Alva clearly doesn't wish to marry, her father also doesn't desire the marriage. We can make her marry and we help her to kill Lord Irion, she would be a widow and could then, when Lord Irion's brother is of suitable age, marry him. She and Lord Caesiu would owe us a favor as much as their loyalty." You say, and your father narrows his eyes. "Think, father, we would have them in our hands, and wouldn't need to deal with Lord Irion's reckless actions."
"He is one of the most loyal," your father replies and would continue but you interrupt.
"For how long?" You question and he looks at you suspiciously. "He would clearly pledge his loyalty to another if it benefited him, you know this. The day he dislikes your decisions and orders, he will seek another who pleases him."
"That's a hypothetical idea." But you see his thoughtful look. "But not entirely wrong. However, you are suggesting letting a female handle Lord Irion's affairs while Irion's brother grows up, that's absurd."
You restrain yourself from rolling your eyes, of course. "Actually, I have another idea for that, to solve this little problem."
"How?"
"I was thinking of inviting the precious Lady Alva to be our guest while Irion's heir grows up." You lightly swirl the wine in a goblet. "Since we want to ensure her safety as a widow and virgin."
"A hostage." Your father's eyes gleam. "But a virgin? It would be easier to let Lord Irion do his job, a pregnant female would be more valuable."
"But then we would lose the loyalty and respect of Lord Caesiu and herself, who does not want Lord Irion as her daughter's husband." You assert and take a sip of the wine, it was grape. And it was great. "We could keep her virgin, or give the impression that her virginity is intact, or not. And then, I may even convince them to marry her to another lord, if you wish, one who would not betray us and one who would be pleasing to Lord Caesiu, we would ensure the loyalty of both families."
"And who will be responsible for Lord Irion's brother?" Your father scoffs. "Servants? Some general of Lord Irion? Your brothers?"
"No." You feel your lips curve into a smile. "One of ours."
"One of ours?"
"I have a few names in mind. We let one of ours, someone easy to please, take care of Lord Irion's mansion and troops while the heir grows up. Someone who will make the troops loyal to us rather than to the heir. And there you go, we would have both. But of course, it's just an idea. The choice is yours." You shrug. "I can do as you wish, and try to figure out a way to get the female for Lord Irion. But we would miss quite an opportunity to have both troops... but, what do you prefer?"
Your father is silent for a long moment, enough to make you a little nervous. You knew he could see through the whole idea, that your intentions weren't solely for the selfish benefit of having both families' troops firmly tied to you.
"Do what you have to do," he finally responds and you avoid releasing a sigh of relief. He raises a finger and you feel your shoulders tense. "But, if this costs us allies..." your father's gaze narrows and you nod.
"It won't," you reply. You'll figure it out, or at least pray to do so.
"You may leave now," he orders, and you rise carefully, giving him a smile and a slight nod in respect.
But as you reach the door, he calls out. "Eris."
You look over your shoulder, but he's still facing away from you.
"Don't fail."
"I won't," you respond, before finally leaving.
You release a sigh and begin to walk down the hallway. Well, it wasn't what you expected, but at least it's useful.
Time to get allies, for you, and not Beron, of course.
///
Going back home would be difficult.
Or not. You could seek Suriel, maybe fate, mother or whatever it is, be kind enough to provide you with answers.
On how you got here, and how you go back.
Or you can stay, but that would be like living under constant threats and future tortures. You had very clear memories of the feeling and what happened every time Eris failed Beron, and that didn't leave you any bit excited to stay.
Not to mention the constant hatred and caution you have to have with some people...
You take a deep breath, running a hand through your hair and pulling it away from your face. You'll have to cut it at some point, or tie it up, it's much more practical. Although it's very beautiful and soft, you constantly play with the strands while reading and trying to learn more about that world. It was strange but so familiar the words, just as it was to use your powers. You initially thought it would be more difficult, but Eris's memories, sensations, and everything else about him, made it much easier.
Are you permanently trapped in his body? Or at some point will he come back? Because so far there has been nothing in your mind, and you don't know what happened to him. Is he dead? And did you occupy his body? Because that's quite bizarre and...
The sound of the door opening snaps you out of your thoughts and you look to see your guest.
"You sent for me, Lord Eris?" Makias asked. He is tall, with dark skin and dark hair falling behind his back and slightly over his shoulders, broad and strong shoulders, and handsome. Of course. One of the few or only friends Eris had and who is trustworthy. He wore a dark red suit, with black pants and a sword sheathed on the side of his belt.
You smile. "Ah yes, please sit my friend, I have some matters we need to discuss."
You just hope he won't betray you, you hope...