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“Uggghhh,” Shirahama groaned and let his head fall to the table.
“Wow,” Kuresawa was stunned.
“How many does that make it now?” Miyano asked lightly.
“You mean this week, month or year?” Shirahama groaned.
“Uh…”
“Twelve! It’s twelve! Tashiro has gotten twelve confessions from girls this week alone! And four of them have been in the last hour!” Shirahama cried, slamming his hand onto the table and making his two friends jump. “It’s not fair! He wasn’t this popular in high school!”
“Well, to be fair, we went to an all boys school and Tashiro wasn’t ever the type to talk to girls.” Kuresawa pointed out.
“Yeah, but it makes sense that he’s popular now. Tashiro is… tall. And he’s super nice and caring and thoughtful – just think about all those times back in high school when he helped us out. And when I told him I started dating Sasaki-senpai, he didn’t even question it.” Miyano explained.
“Add on to all that, the fact that he actually has a cute face and his body is super built from all the sports stuff he does, it’s honestly not surprising that he’s as popular as he is.” Kuresawa added and Miyano nodded along.
Shirahama frowned, “I’m taller than he is! And I play basketball, too! Why don’t the girls flock to me!?”
“… your personality?” They both offered and Shirahama groaned again before letting his fall once more.
With Kuresawa going to a different school than three of them, it had been a minute since they gotten together. They had decided to meet for lunch when their schedules aligned and while waiting for their order, Tashrio had been called out to by at least four different girls in the short amount of time. They seemed to be lining up for it. He would be called out to, he would gently reject them (seemingly, they were too far away for them to properly hear), and before making it back to to the table another girl would call out to him and the cycle would start all over.
Miyano and Shirahama were used to scene (although Shirahama was a bit bitter about it) but Kuresawa was surprised. They had warned him it might happen since the place they were meeting up was so close to their school but Kuresawa had thought for sure they had been exaggerating.
Finally, it seemed like the girls had given up and Tashiro was able to join them at the table. The three of them were each giving him a look that he didn’t quite understand.
“What?”
“I don’t get it.” Shirahama frowned.
“What’d you say to them?” Miyano asked, gesturing to the girls who were still hanging around, glancing at their table longingly.
“I just told them I was here with my friends and needed to eat.” Tashiro shrugged. “Nothing big.”
“Didn’t they… confess to you?” Kuresawa asked. Surely they hadn’t called out to him to just chit chat.
“What? No. Why would they?”
“I don’t get it!” Shirahama cried out, pulling at his hair as Miyano and Kuresawa stared him in shock. Tashiro just tilted his head a bit, confused about their reactions.
“What?”
“Tashiro…” Miyano shared a look with Kuresawa. “Do you really think all those girls just want to talk to you? For no reason?”
“Well, I guess sometimes they talk about the last set I played or something. A lot of them go to our matches and say that they wanted to talk to me there but never had a chance – which makes sense, we’re super busy after a match and typically just want to get home.”
“Even though that might be true, I don’t think they would wait for you at some place just outside of your school to talk about a match.” Kuresawa said.
“There’s nothing else they would want to talk to me about though? They typically just say I did well and say they’re going to cheer me on or something along those lines and then say goodbye. They never seem to want to confess their feelings or anything like that. I’m not popular like that.” Tashiro said with a small shrug as he took a sip of his drink.
But you really are though!!! All three of them screamed at him in their minds.
“Um… Tashiro-senpai?” They all looked to see a boy standing off to the side, blushing and fidgeting with the hem of his shirt as he waited.
“Oh, I’ll be right there, one sec-” Tashiro quickly finished the rest of his meal and downed his drink. “Sorry guys, I promised to help him with his form.”
“Form?”
“Yeah, he’s on the table tennis team too. Anyway, see you guys later!” Tashiro waved goodbye and quickly left with his junior, leaving everyone, once again, in a stunned silence.
“… I really don’t get it!!!”
“Bye-bye, senpai.”
“Yeah, good work!” Tashiro waved to his junior as he wiped the sweat off his face. He hadn’t meant to go so hard but it had been a while since he had done any proper practice and wasn’t able to hold himself back. He hoped that his junior was still interested in taking table tennis seriously…
“Oh my, Tashiro-kun, is it?”
Tashiro’s ears perked at the sound of his name and he turned around, his entire face lighting up when he saw who it was, “Hanzawa-senpai!!”
“Hi~”
“What are you doing here? Isn’t this gym far from your school?” Tashiro asked as he dashed up, his nonexistent tail wagging.
“My sister wanted me to pick something up from a bookstore nearby and I just figured I’d pop in for a quick set… I hadn’t expected to run into you though. What were you doing here?”
Tashiro grinned and flexed his muscles, “Training!”
Hanzawa bit back a laugh, “O-oh?”
“Yeah! One of my juniors asked me to train him and of course, said yes! He was really distracted at first but he got the hang of it after a couple of rounds. He kept needing me to show him how to hold the paddle correctly, can you believe that?” Tashiro laughed.
Hanzawa’s smile faltered a bit at this information. “Oh??”
“Yeah, I kept having to grab his hand and fixing it so he was holding it right. Was it that hard for you when you were starting out?”
“No, I can’t say that it was.” Hanzawa said after a moment to collect himself.
“Huh, I guess it’s just ‘cause he’s brand new… oh, is that the time!? Sorry, senpai, I gotta get home. I promised my grandparents I would make dinner tonight!” Tashiro quickly gathered his things and waved goodbye, dashing out the door before Hanzawa had a chance to even think of stopping him.
So, he simply waved goodbye until Tashiro was surely gone before letting his smile fall from his face. He glanced at the table tennis table, imagining what the scene had been like as Tashiro had helped his junior. He was surely smaller than Tashiro, and he could imagine he was also quite starstruck – being so close to him and all… the image made his blood boil.
He quickly shook his head and picked up his bag once again, deciding to forego his work out for the evening and just picking up his sister’s order instead.
The next day, Tashiro called out to Miyano and Shirahama after their classes, “Hey, wait up!”
“What, no groupies today?” Shirahama asked with a roll of his eyes.
“Groupies?” Tashiro repeated, confused.
Miyano shoved Shirahama away from Tashiro and took his place in the middle, “Ignore him. So, how did it go with your junior yesterday?”
“Oh, that. It went pretty well, I guess. He was a complete beginner so I had to show him everything.”
Miyano’s BL radar went off, “What do you mean by show him everything?”
“You know, like how to hold the paddle properly and how to stand so you can move fast to one end of the table to the other.”
“Did you touch him?”
“What do you mean touch him?”
“Like, hold his hand to show him proper grip or like, move his waist for the proper form.”
“Well, yeah. How else was I supposed to show him?”
Miyano made a squeaking noise and Shirahama quickly took over. “Are you sure that kid didn’t have any other motives for having a one on one session with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Miyano, he’s hopeless. I can’t-”
“Myaa-chan!” The group paused and looked up and saw that Sasaki-senpai was jogging over towards them across the way. He immeidately glued himself to Miyano, wrapping his arms around him.
“Shuumei-san-!” Miyano blushed but didn’t pull or push him away
“Hello, Sasaki-senpai.” Tashiro and Shirahama said in unison. It was somehow comforting, seeing how these two never changed since high school. Absolutely zero sense of personal space.
“What are you guys doing together? I thought you didn’t have any classes together this semester.”
“We just met up. Tashiro was telling us about the training session he did yesterday.” Miyano explained as the four of them moved off to some tables on the side, out of the way of other passersby.
“Oh, right! Speaking of senpais, right before I left I ran into Hanzawa-senpai.”
“Hanzawa?” Sasaki repeated, somewhat surprised that he had been so near their area. It was quite the ways away from his and Hirano’s school.
“Mhm,” Tashiro nodded, “He said he was in the area to pick something up for his sister at the bookstore and decided to drop by the gym. But the thing that bothered me was that he was alone.”
“So?” Shirahama prompted once Tashiro didn’t continue to elaborate.
“Well, Hanzawa-senpai is really popular, right? He’s good looking and smart. He can be kind of a…”
“Sadist?” Sasaki offered. Miyano lightly smacked his arm and gave him a look but Tashiro just nodded.
“Yeah. That. Despite all that though, he seems to have a lot of female friends but now that I think about it, has he ever had a girlfriend?”
“I don’t think he ever mentioned one back in high school. He always said that he would rather spend his time living out different experiences and didn’t have time for a relationship.” Sasaki explained.
“Do you think he’s like you guys?” Shirahama asked Sasaki and Miyano, he wasn’t quite sure how to ask about it without seeming rude.
“Are you asking if Hanzawa is gay?” Sasaki asked bluntly. Shirahama just desperately nodded.
“He’s not.” Tashiro answered before Sasaki or Miyano could respond.
“How do you know?” Miyano asked his friend.
“We talked it about once, a few years ago, at one of the training camps. I think it was back when I was a second year…”
“Well, everyone is sound asleep it seems.” Hanzawa said, sitting next to Tashiro on the veranda. Most of the team was sprawled out on tatami mats and only a handful of senpais were still awake – aside from the two of them.
“Are you okay, senpai? We did a lot of training today.”
“I could go about five more rounds if we had the time.” Hanzawa laughed. Tashiro joined him, although his was nervous laughter as he knew that Hanzawa wasn’t joking at all. “It’s nice like this though… everyone in one room.”
“Really? I dunno it seems a bit cramped for my liking.”
“You’re an only child, right, Tashiro-kun?”
“Yeah, I live with my grandparents though ‘cause my parents are working overseas. Wait, senpai, do you have siblings?”
“I have three.”
“Three?!”
“Shhh!!!” Several of the (still awake) senpais hushed him and Tashiro quickly covered his mouth while Hanzawa shook with held back laughter.
“Are you the oldest, by any chance? You seem like it.”
Hanzawa chuckled, “No. I have an older brother, a sister and a younger brother.”
“Heh… I wonder what it’s like, having so many siblings.”
“It can be difficult. We fight as normal siblings do but…” Hanzawa got quiet for a moment and glanced back behind them. Everyone was starting to wind down for bed and was tucked quietly away in their futons. “Can I be honest with you, Tashiro-kun?”
“Sure. What’s up?” Tashiro asked, slightly tilting his head.
“My brothers… they… they’re gay.” Hanzawa paused. He expected his junior to recoil or something but instead, Tashiro just remained the same, his eyes focused completely on him.
“And?” Tashiro prompted, once he saw that his senpai wasn’t planning on continuing.
“Eh?”
“They’re gay. And?”
Hanzawa was slightly taken aback but he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. He quickly turned away so his junior couldn’t see it, “It’s always been something that was hard for me. Not to accept, because their my siblings and I love them but the pressure it put on me.”
“How so?”
“When they came out – they came out at the same time, can you believe it? – but when they came out, our mother turned to me and asked if I liked men too.”
“Do you?”
“… when she asked that, I couldn’t say yes. I like girls, I do. That’s not a lie. But saying that to my mother and seeing the relief on her face… it was like, even if I was attracted to men – even slightly or for a moment – I could never be honest about it. I could never tell her like my brothers did.”
“Well, if you like girls then it’s not a big deal, right? I’m sure your mom was just – I guess worried? Like she was worried she wouldn’t have grandkids or something but you have a sister. She would have had grandchildren even if you did like men…” Tashiro grumbled.
Hanzawa bit back a laugh. Seeing Tashiro so upset about it somehow filled him with a secret, fleeting feeling of joy.
“But, senpai, you dodged the question.”
“Hmm?”
“Do you like guys, too?”
Hanzawa thought for a moment. Did he? He honestly wasn’t sure. Girls were cute. They were soft and tended to treat him with a kindness he didn’t expect from another guy. But his brother hadn’t been far off in asking if he had had feelings for Miyano. Only it wasn’t Miyano he had had feelings for, but another junior instead…
“Hmm… I would say that I like girls… how-ev-er,” Hanzawa gently placed his hand on top of Tashiro’s and leaned his head against his shoulder, “There’s always exceptions to the rules, you know?”
“… so, yeah. He likes girls, not guys.” Tashiro left out some parts, like the part about both of Hanzawa’s brothers being gay (he knew Miyano knew about one of his brothers but it wasn’t Tashiro’s place to go talking about the other), but otherwise told his friends the whole story. When he looked over to them, all three of them were staring at him. Sasaki’s face was one of shock, Miyano looked like he was about to burst and Shirahama was holding his head in his hands. “What?”
“Miyano… let me hit him just once…!” Shirahama begged, pushing his chair back from the table to get up.
“Not yet,” Miyano held a hand to stop him.
“Then can I?” Sasaki asked, copying Shirahama’s movements.
Miyano grabbed Sasaki by the hand and pulled him back down, “No!”
Tashiro frowned, “What? What’s wrong?”
“Tashiro… you know-” Miyano started to explain exactly what was wrong but he was soon cut off.
“Ah! Tashiro-kun is over here!”
“Tashiro-kun?!”
“Tashiro-senpai!”
Suddenly, several people – male and female – were swarming their table. Sasaki grabbed Miyano and pulled him away from the table as they surrounded Tashiro.
“Ah – wait – I’ll see you guys later!” Tashiro barely had a chance to yell out a goodbye before he was carried away by the group.
After a beat Shirahama slowly poked his head above the table. “… are they gone?”
“Yeah,” Miyano gave Sasaki’s hand a squeeze before going to help Shirahama up and put the table back in order.
“That was crazy. I didn’t know he was that popular.” Sasaki said, looking bewilderingly at the spot where Tashiro had once been sitting.
“It feels like it’s gotten worse recently.” Shirahama muttered.
“So… are we just going to ignore the whole thing with Hanzawa-senpai?” Miyano asked after everything was cleaned up.
Shirahama groaned, “I would like to.”
“Why? This is a big deal!”
“‘Cause it makes me mad how… how totally oblivious he is! There’s limits, Miyano! There are limits!” Shirahama cried.
“Sorry, Myaa-chan, but Shirahama-kun is right. I think this is something they – or rather, Tashiro – just have to figure out on their own.” Sasaki said, brushing back Miyano’s hair before wrapping him up in his arms again.
Miyano frowned but nuzzled himself into Sasaki’s embrace. “… Fine.” I really hope things turn out okay though...
“Stop asking me to get you your books.” Hanzawa told his sister upon returning home. He, once again, had to go out of his way to go to the bookstore for his sister and once again, ran into Tashiro. Or rather, he had seen him from a distance. He had a girl by his side, clinging to his arm and they seemed to be talking pretty enthusiastically about something, as he hadn’t even noticed Hanzawa at all.
“Thanks, Maa-kun! You’re the best!” Masako grabbed the bag and dashed away to her room to enjoy her spoils. He huffed and turned his attentions to his elder brother, who was sprawled out on the couch in the living room.
Masaomi must’ve felt his younger brother’s gaze and looked over at him, “What’s up, Maa-kun?”
“Take me drinking tonight.”
Masaomi nearly fell off the couch and quickly sat up to look his brother in the eye, “Excuse me??”
“Take me drinking tonight.” Hanzawa repeated.
“Wha-”
“You can invite Ogasawara’s brother too, if you want.” Hanzawa offered bluntly and left before his brother could say anything more.
“… he never wants to go out to drink with me… what’s going on…?” Masaomi mused aloud to no one in particular.
Shirahama downed another beer and slammed his glass on the table. “I just don’t understand!”
“You keep saying that but you have yet to elaborate.” Niibashi said, lightly pushing the glass farther away from him. He wasn’t able to move it too far however, as the waitress came by and put another on in its place. Before he could move it away, Shirahama had grabbed it and was taking big gulps again.
“Wait, is this about Tashiro again?” Karasubara asked. Shirahama nodded his head vigorously.
“Again? You’re like Kagiura – a broken record!”
The three of them were an unlikely trio, but Karasubara and Niibashi turned out to be pretty good friends once they left high school and the rivalry between their classes disappeared. And since Shirahama continued to be friends Karasubara, the three of them (and sometimes Kagiura, thanks to him knowing both Niibashi and Shirahama), often went out for drinks together after turning 20.
“It’s just so crazy! You guys never see it ‘cause you don’t go to the same school, but he’s so insanely popular and he doesn’t even know it!”
“What about Miyano? He seems like he’d be pretty popular with the girls, too, with that face of his.” Karasubara said, sipping his own drink.
“Since Sasaki-senpai goes to the same school, everyone kinda just knows their a couple. Or it feels like that anyway. They both have I’m extremely satisfied in my current relationship and you can’t get between me and my partner vibes that makes it hard for the girls to approach either of them… plus, Sasaki-senpai is super scary when he’s not with Miyano.”
After everyone graduated, Miyano made his rounds and told his classmates about his relationship with Sasaki. Karasubara was extremely embarrassed for trying to force him to go on group dates and apologized intensely. Through pure word of mouth (maybe), Niibashi had also gotten wind of the news – even though he had no real idea about who Sasaki or Miyano were.
“It just doesn’t make sense. How is he so popular?”
“There’s tons of reasons, right?” Niibashi said lightly. “He’s good looking, tall, and kind. He might be kind of an idiot but he’s people sensitive, so girls would be more likely to flock to him.”
“Just because he’s good at reading people?”
“Exactly. Girls love it when guys are able to figure out what’s wrong without having to be told. Tashiro is a great example of that – his intuition is amazing.”
“That doesn’t explain why he’s so dense. Do you know how many girls confess to him in a single day?? And he doesn’t even know they’re confessing!”
“That can’t be true,”
“It is! They’ll pour their hearts out and he’ll just smile and say something like ‘Thanks for cheering me on!’ or something. And it’s not just girls! It’s guys, too! He has male juniors lining up right beside the girls – and the thing is, the thing is, they can get closer to him because they’re guys. Hell, one of his juniors used that as an excuse to get all touchy-feely with him—” Shirahama’s drunken ramblings were cut short as there was a loud clattering behind him. The trio looked and saw that a chair had fallen to the floor and there was man stumbling out the door.
His companions looked to be at a total loss, not sure whether to go after him or stay put. Judging by the amount of glasses on the table, he surely wasn’t sober. Shirahama was the closest and was just able to overhear parts of their conversation.
“… never drinks like that. It seemed like something was really bothering him today.”
“Should we go after him?”
“No, he’ll be fine. It’s not that far from the house and he’s been drunk before. Not like this, but… I do wonder what got him all worked up though. He was muttering something about being blind and 'I’ll show him'…”
Shirahama glanced over and felt his blood run cold. Karasubara went wide eyed, “Whoa. You just went as white as a ghost.”
“I think… I think that was Hanzawa-senpai!” Shirahama said in a voice just loud enough that only the people at the table could hear. “That guy over there looks just like him!”
“Whoa, that’s a lot of drinks. Will he be okay?” Niibashi asked after glancing over at the table he had just left.
“I don’t know but…” Shirahama paused. The good junior in him was telling him to go after his senpai and bring him back to his brother. But the good friend in him told him to leave it as it was. After silently debating for a moment, Shirahama shook his head. “No. He’ll be fine. Another round over here!”
“Coming!”
“You’re still gonna drink…?” Niibashi made a face but smiled and joined in the revelry at last.
Tashiro awoke with a start at a loud banging. He glanced around in a sleepy haze. He must’ve come home from school after being dragged around by that girl and just collapsed on the couch. Were his grandparents even home? He didn’t remember seeing them…
The banging continued.
“Okay, okay!” Tashiro rubbed at his face but got up and went to the door. “What can I help you… Hanzawa-senpai?!”
It took everything in him not to slam the door again in surprise upon opening it and seeing his senpai on the other side. His face was flushed and he was… pouting .
“Wha- what are you doing here, senpai!?”
“You.”
“Eh?”
“You don’t see your good points at all!” Hanzawa slurred.
“Come again?”
“You don’t even realize how great you are, Tashiro Gonzaburo!” Hanzawa drunkenly shouted, shoving his finger into his junior’s chest.
“Senpai-”
“You’re kind, and sweet, and tall and have a good body. You take care of the others around you and you aren’t prejudice against anyone. Your face is adorable and the way you wear your hair is cute. I like your natural hair more but being a blonde suits you, too. You clearly cherish your friends and you took good care of the team after I was gone…” Hanzawa swayed a bit and Tashiro dove forward to catch him. Hanzawa clung to him.
“You’re dumb but studied like crazy to get into the same school as your friends. And you're blind to romance. You don’t even know when people are confessing their feelings to you.” His voice was muffled by Tashiro’s chest but Tashiro still made out every word.
“Are you complimenting me or insulting me?” Tashiro asked with a small laugh. Hanzawa pulled away and frowned up at him.
“I’m saying you’re absolutely amazing and you need to start seeing yourself the way I see you!”
“Wha-” Before Tashiro had a chance to respond, Hanzawa pulled him down by his shirt and kissed him right on the lips.
They broke apart after what felt like an eternity and Hanzawa frowned again, “I’m saying I like you, stupid!”
Hanzawa awoke with a jolt, his head throbbing. He did not recognize the room he was in at all… or did he? That parka at the end of the bed looked awfully familiar.
“Oh, you’re awake.” Hanzawa looked over to the door and saw Tashiro standing there, medicine and a glass of water in his hand. “Here, take this.” He quickly came over and handed everything to Hanzawa, who took it gratefully. “Lay back down, too. It’s too soon for you to get up.”
“Where are we?” Hanzawa asked once Tashiro got him settled again.
“My room. You showed up on my doorstep last night out of nowhere, you know. Drunk as hell, too.” Tashiro couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the memory. “You suddenly passed out and I didn’t know what to do so… I just put you in my room. Sorry,”
“No, it’s okay.” Hanzawa gently shook his head and smiled gently at Tashiro. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
“… is this one of those things you mentioned? How I take care of others?”
Hanzawa’s eyes went wide. He had hoped – really, really hoped – that his confession had just been a dream. A drunken by product of sleeping in the bed of the person he liked. But Tashiro’s bashfulness told him otherwise.
“… it is.”
“Hmm…” Tashiro hummed, and gently took Hanzawa’s hand in his own. He gently rubbed it between his hands and slowly brought it to his lips, kissing his palm and making Hanzawa’s heart skip a beat. Tashiro smiled bashfully again, going slightly pink in the ears. “It feels like a dream.”
Hanzawa felt his heart melt at that smile, “What does?”
“Your confession. Kissing me last night. Being in my bed and letting me do this,” Tashiro said, interlocking their fingers together. “None of it feels real.”
“What about you?” Hanzawa whispered, squeezing Tashiro’s hand. “Do you see yourself how I see you?”
Tashiro paused, but then slowly shook his head. “No… but I see you like that. I think you’re amazing, Hanzawa-senpai. I always have. You work so hard all the time. You’re handsome and kind to your juniors. You took the time to help me get into my school even though you had no obligation to. You see me as this amazing person and honestly? I can’t believe that someone as amazing as you, thinks that about someone like me.”
“Tashiro-kun,” Hanzawa spoke more firmly, untangling their hands and cupping Tashiro’s cheek with it instead and making him look him dead in the eye. “I like you. I like you for all of you. Every last bit of it. And if someone as amazing as me likes you that much… doesn’t that make you pretty amazing yourself?”
Tashiro blinked at him several times before breaking into a grin and diving into the bed with him, laughing. “I don’t know what you just said, but I like you, too, Hanzawa-senpai!”
Hanzawa laughed, his hangover forgotten as Tashiro wrapped his arms around him and showered him in gentle kisses.
I love the amazing and wonderful you.