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Madara flattens himself as Izuna attempts to groom him. "Izuna, give up. It's not going to work."
"It will!" Izuna spits out a mouthful of fur with a disgusting hacking noise. "I refuse to subject you to those stupid humans and their brush!"
Just the thought of that thing is enough to make Madara growl a little. The way the humans pin him and comb through his fur, catching all the tangles... it's the only time they're insistent he be touched.
He hates being petted, and he's perfectly willing to defend his personal space with his claws. At the same time, letting Izuna lick him clean is just going to mean that his brother will be coughing up hairballs for days.
Madara rolls onto his back, tumbling Izuna off, and pounces on his brother. "No more grooming me." He noses at the space between Izuna's ears. "It's not worth what it does to your stomach."
"It's not fair!" Izuna protests but submits grumpily to being cuddled. "It's awful! Why do you have to be so furry - I'm not!"
Madara lies down on top of his brother, ignoring the little kicks as Izuna squirms. "You're lucky, and I'm not. Now I'm gonna groom you."
Izuna yowls a little, but finally settles down when Madara scruffs him like the kitten he once was.
It's really not so bad here.
For some reason the humans seem to collect members of his family - not all of them, but many - and Madara knows he was lucky not to be separated from his brother. Most of them aren't particularly keen on humans either, with Kagami being a notable exception, so Madara has no idea why.
Shisui and Itachi will tolerate a little bit of petting, Shisui more than Itachi, but they make up for it by being absolutely destructive to any and all fabric. Madara has lost count of the number of rents they've made in the couch. Even Sasuke, the smallest of them since he's still a kitten, will climb up to the highest spot he can find in order to be out of the reach of human hands.
Thank goodness Kagami is always willing to be a lap cat and will helpfully pin at least one of the humans to a chair as soon as they sit down, so the rest of them can go about their business without being disturbed.
Still, the humans feed them, provide them with clean and private spaces to do their business, so Madara supposes he can put up with the brush.
Not without hissing at it though.
He's willing to make concessions, but not that one.
