Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Zane had seen this coming. The fight, not walking out. He hadn't outwardly reacted when Kai decided to leave, it was Kai's choice. He mourned the loss of a brother, but he didn't need to check his data to know that they could live without him. Sure he might've meant a lot to them, but he never really did much and was mostly simply in the way (Or so he thought). See, Zane hadn't realized how much Kai helped him or affected his life. He might be a nindroid, but he was still human, he had the data but it didn't mean he knew everything, it meant that he could gather the information and call upon it easily, nothing more, nothing less.

He didn't stay clueless for long, he didn't even need to call upon that data. You see, Zane was one of 3 people on the ship who knew how to cook or help in the kitchen. The other two people were Wu and... Kai. Zane was the designated cook, seeing as he knew the most recipes, the better technique, etc. So the loss of Kai's cooking should've been non-existent.

So the first week without Kai was "wobbly" but fine for the nindroid, the second week, not so much. Zane had never realized it before, but Kai had helped him in the preparations a lot more than he thought. Zane and Kai would cut everything and prepare everything so that he would have everything when needed. If he ever forgot something, Kai would remind him or already have the item ready for when Zane remembered.

So let's just say that the second week in, it took him a lot longer to cook. He now had to prepare everything by himself, make sure he remembered everything perfectly. If he forgot to prepare something, he now had to figure out a way to get it without ruining whatever he is doing. And he can't ask for help! Cause no one else is safe, or efficient or even wants to help in the food preparation! So as Zane cut the vegetables and prepared all that is needed for tonight’s supper half an hour earlier than usual, he very quickly realized that Kai had been of great help... and company.

He was now left all alone in the kitchen, when usually he would have small talk or the silent company of Kai. Zane couldn't help but look over his shoulder once in a while, hoping that he would look back and see Kai looking out the window or playing on his phone. The silence was weary and made him uncomfortable, Zane had started playing music to drown out the silence that orbits the kitchen and left him to wander his mind and forget the task at hand. It doesn't work very well.

Of course he wasn't always alone, the others checked in. Nya would slump in and would sit down and simply exist in his presence. She never talked much but having her at his side was better than having no one. Other times it was Lloyd who simply had too much time on his hands now that he and Kai aren’t getting up to mischief. He remembers, he and Kai attempting to teach Lloyd to cook and ending up with the stove on fire. But their visits weren’t as often as Kai.

Cole and Jay didn't visit as often and Wu never entered the kitchen. He would simply listen to music with Cole, and Jay would be tinkering away. The team’s visits were always very welcomed and appreciated but they were few and far between. Leading to Zane slowly getting lonely, he missed the easy conversations, the funny jokes, just the steady presence of Kai at his side as he cooked for their family.

It's not just in the Kitchen that he misses his company or their easy banter. He misses their midnight talks. They didn't happen often, but they always soothed Zane. He often laid awake, contemplating and being uncertain of himself. He could always simply turn off, but he could never bring himself to. Every time he thought of pressing the button, his body would freeze up and he couldn't move. He simply laid there and thought, listening to his brother's steady breaths, simply watching the silhouette of a tree swaying the breeze and asked himself…

Was he human?

His heart says yes... but his mind reminds him that he doesn't have one... that he is nothing but wires, metal and switches.

On nights like these, Kai would slowly creep down the ladder as silent as the ninja that he is, if Zane is lost in his mind enough. Kai could make it all the way to his bed before Zane notices his movements. Zane then would move over to make some space on his bunk, leading to Kai sitting down and holding his hand. He never found out how Kai knew that Zane was awake, but he did. And every single time, without fail he helped him out.

"Am I human?" "Yes” The way that Kai said it so calmly, resolutely, oftentimes ended the conversation right there. Zane needed nothing more than just the simple yes. Kai would then hold his hand for a while longer until Zane fell asleep. Other times, when Zane's day had been a little rougher he asked another question.

"But I'm simply made of wires?" "But you show empathy, you grieve, you care, you make mistakes and most of all... you are Zane." The conversation could end here as well, because Kai is right, he is Zane, he cares and has empathy, he mourns and feels losses just as any human would. Kai would then give him a hug and hold his hand until he fell asleep. But alas on the most difficult of nights, the ones where his mind won't give in as easily, he asks the final two questions that always leave him at ease.

"Even if I don't have a heart?" "But you do have a heart? It simply has a different form than ours." So simple, that oftentimes he wonders why he couldn't make himself understand it on his own. "So then, I'm human?" "As human as any of us." So heartfelt and sure. No room for Zane to argue, to doubt. And so, every single time, without fail, all doubts left his mind, leaving him in the clutches of peaceful sleep.

Sadly, now he lays awake at night, waiting for Kai to join him, to hold his hand, to reassure him through his answers to the same questions he's asked all these years. But he no longer gets that, Kai isn't here, the top bunk is left undisturbed and cold. No hand gently holds his until he falls asleep. If the others noticed his lack of sleep... then none mentioned it, it's not like it's affecting him. He doesn't need sleep... he's not truly human.

Just how he doesn't need sleep, he doesn't need much in general, this leading to him having a lot less stuff laying about then the others. But being a lot more responsible then the others leads to him cleaning the Bounty and the monastery on his own. The others of course cleaned up after themselves, mostly... see they weren't dirty, anything that could become a problem or bother others was usually cleaned up quickly. But the living room could be left a mess, or the kitchen can have clutter build up. Small things like that.

At first he was able to keep up, he would deep clean once every two weeks. But just as cooking got harder the second week. So did the cleaning. The cleaning slowly but surely became more of a hassle, it would take him longer as the Bounty and monastery became dirtier faster then he could clean it. He didn't understand! He was doing everything as he had always done, everyone else was doing everything as they'd always done. With Kai gone it actually should've been easier!

Slowly losing the cleaning battle, he searched in his memories, his database, for any indication as to why it got harder all of a sudden. It didn't take long before he found camera footage of Kai doing the chores. Turns out that he and Kai had been alternating weeks for who knows how long and that's how everything stayed clean. A sad smile crossed Zane's face seeing as how Kai had made his life just slightly easier, that he had given Zane a break and help in ways that almost seemed non-existent.

Kai knew that there were cameras in the monastery and so as he cleaned he would look up and smile, not grin, smile. Zane was taken aback the first time, he took a screenshot of said smile. Sooner into their time at the monastery, Kai started to narrate what he was doing. He walked around the place, cleaning and giving advice about the best way to clean certain problems (Zane took notes) After a while it seemed as though he was talking directly to him, he told Zane about places that he always forgot to clean, told him about who was making the mess and why. He deeply treasures these videos, he thought of showing them to the others, but it felt too personal, like this was only for his eyes.

Zane, realizing that he wouldn't be able to do it all on his own, tried to enlist the help of the others for the chores... but they had all brushed him off or ignored his need for help. He spoke too softly, and so no one truly listened, it didn't end at the chores though. His input on plans, advice, ideas, all of it was being ignored, he couldn't see why they were doing this now... ok he can admit that Kai spoke up for him, but most of the time the others would listen to him without needing Kai. Now it seemed as though everyone was talking over each other and he wasn't being loud enough.

Kai would've made a joke about not being able to do three things at once and then would’ve told them to go again one at a time. If Kai had heard a good idea from someone in particular, then he would divert everyone’s attention to them first... it just so happens to often be Zane. It always made Zane feel seen, appreciated.

It isn't to say that the others didn't give him a turn to talk, or gave him space to talk, they tried. Sometimes Lloyd takes the lead and makes everyone go one by one, other times Nya tells everyone to shut up and we simply let Wu choose. It works, but it's not efficient and takes time. It also means that he doesn't get picked as often, because Cole always goes before him and Cole has decent ideas.

It sends a pang of pain to his heart whenever he remembers Kai sticking up for him and letting him take the lead. Because Kai believed in him, his ideas, his plans and would follow them with only a glint of doubt, but mostly trust. But the others were simply stressed and couldn't take the time to hear him out and Zane spoke quietly and never pushed for himself, always waiting for someone to advocate for him... and turns out, it was often Kai.

Zane missed Kai so much, he wishes he could go back in time and express more gratitude towards him. He might not have always been the most helpful but he was in ways that none of them realized mattered. As Zane watches his family slowly crumble and scramble to place new supports where Kai used to hold them up, he remembers that each and every one of them plays a crucial role in each other's lives, that sometimes things we might not find too important can sometimes be the difference between being functional and being destroyed.

He hugged Cole closer and rubbed Jay's back as it finally hit the group one year later. Lloyd was swaddled in Nya’s arms and Nya in Jay’s as Cole stared into nothing, no indication that he was home. Wu meditated beside them, Zane could pinpoint all the times that Wu stuttered in his breathing or slowly started slouching. Nya kept trying to reassure Lloyd but her voice was unsteady, it wavered and broke often. Lloyd would simply keep crying, trying to meld into one with his sister. It broke Zane’s heart; he wishes he could help them all in the way that Kai had helped him.

Kai had done so much for them, and they had never truly said thank you. Zane couldn't cry, not truly but in that moment he wished he could. He could feel every emotion that went with tears that he couldn’t shed. It felt horrid, but that's what makes him human isn't it? The fact that he can feel, love and mourn. Kai wasn’t here with them and now they had to figure it out without him, it would take many years, all of them knew that, but they all knew that at some point things would be back to being as close to normal as they can be.

From that day on, Zane always tried to rope one or more ninja into helping him with food. Because Kai had made him realize that it's a team effort and shouldn't lay solely on his shoulders. Slowly but surely, help in the kitchen became common, silence didn't weigh on his shoulders and invade his mind. Cooking became easier, he didn't have to worry about forgetting anything. It seems that the others didn't mind helping out too much, even pitching in ideas on what to make when it was their turn to help.

Jay always tried to put in more spices then was necessary and would then pout when he got caught. Nya could wash everything extremely well and could handle a knife even better, they always talked about a new project that they had going on. Cole and him still listened to music, but now they would discuss it, and would give insight and knowledge about whatever the other wanted to know (Cole had dived in head first to help Zane out). Lloyd wasn’t very skilled in the kitchen, but they had great conversations about myths and legends, sometimes Zane would zone out and let Lloyd talk. (On the anniversary of Kai leaving, he always cooks in the kitchen alone.)

He still missed Kai's presence at his side. The others could never truly fill the space that he had left, could never replicate the conversations or silent company that Kai emitted. But he appreciated it nonetheless, if anything he learned to appreciate his family for helping him and taking some loads off his shoulders even if it took quite a few years for them to have gotten to the point where he didn't have to force someone to join him, but eventually he didn't.

Zane still lays awake at night, ruffling his sheets, contemplating. But now he replays the last Night Talk he and Kai had, over and over again until he feels comforted enough that he can fall asleep. He could always have told someone, but he simply didn't want them to know of his dilemma. He was handling it well enough and he knew that they would all worry and try to console him in ways that would just make him uncomfortable.

They were simply too nice, they would smother him and make him feel bad for ever thinking such thoughts, and that wasn't healthy either. So he kept it to himself. When some days were harder than others, he would lay in Kai's bed (If someone else wasn't already) and remember the ways in which he was human, all the qualities he shares with his family. It didn't always work, but it kept him functional and moving forward. Kai’s bed made him feel safe, the red sheets looked maroon in the lighting of the moon. Zane would lay on his side, back to the wall and simply listen, listen to his brothers breathing, the breeze outside.

When he started asking the others to help in the kitchen, he also asked Wu to make them understand that they needed to help with the chores. Wu assembled them in the living room and gave them a harsh reprimand about setting all the chores on his shoulders. This led to almost everyone glaring at him for almost a week straight. Cole had been on his side and tried to
convince the others.

When Zane couldn’t take it anymore he explained to them that Kai use to help him and that now it was becoming too much, that it stressed him out and left him with dread for chore day, he finally told them that he needed help. They had all lost their glares in an instant and had rushed to hug him, to reassure him and to thank him. They said their apologies and asked him why he hadn’t said so sooner, instead of asking Wu. He had finally told them his dilemma about speaking up and they apologized again.

It took quite a few years before he no longer had to pull them by the ears to clean up after themselves. Of course they wanted to help, but learning to do chores and willingly putting time aside for them takes time. Zane had been patient. Chore days became filled with laughter as Cole played his music, rocking out or swaying with the songs as he picked up his room and helped out with the dusting, Zane often joined him, if he wasn’t already cleaning the mechs and other tech with Nya.

Nya took to cleaning like fish to water, everyone was quite jealous. She explained that Kai had taught her how to clean, but that she simply never had too since he did it for her. Her and Zane often finished their chores first seeing as they had the most experience. So they would end up watching Jay and Lloyd do their chores.

Jay and Lloyd would make petty races and games between themselves for motivation. It started with Lloyd making a joke of beating Jay at finishing cleaning his room, Jay took it personally and “beat” Lloyd the next time. From there it turned into little fights, races and games that made the day fun. Zane and Nya always voted on who would win, so far Lloyd was winning since his room was never too dirty to begin with.

Zane's sure that if Kai was here now, he would be smiling wide and would have joined them in their games or danced with Cole. It hurts to know that he might never be here with them again. That he could never see how close they had all grown to one another from realization that they all meant so much to each other. Him leaving was a wake up call they all needed, he wouldn’t say that they were better, sometimes they all missed how things used to be. But everything was alright.

Zane wishes he could say thank you, at least one last time. He wishes he had reacted more when he chose to leave.

Chapter Text

Jay was flabbergasted. Did Kai really say that? For Nya, he stayed with them this whole time simply because Nya asked him to? Wait... not even, Nya simply stayed and so he stayed. He never wanted to be a ninja... Jay was lost. He was left holding Nya as she cried on his shoulder, he could only watch as Kai slowly made his way away from them. He almost started crying right there and then but he told himself to stay strong for his girl. Kai didn't take his time walking away, he wasn't rushing either, but to Jay it felt like he was walking in slow motion.

For the next few months Jay fleeted around from one person to the next, unconsciously making sure that they were all still here. He always stopped short when he meant to find Kai. Kai wasn't there. In those instances, anger would flare up and he would start stomping around, even thought of burning all the pictures in the monastery with Kai in them. But he never could, the anger would disappear as quick as it surfaced. He would then trudge back to Nya, comforting her and trying to stay strong.

He will admit that when he wasn't consoling Nya, he was swaddled up in his blankets and crying his eyes out (You would too if one of your brothers just left). Don't judge him! Men cry too. In times like these he wishes Kai was still here to cheer him up. Ugh! Thinking of Kai always gave him a flare of anger. Kai use to sit with him whenever Cole or Nya weren’t able to cheer him up. Then Kai would crack jokes.

One after the other, telling them as if Jay wasn't crying his eyes out beside him. He could go on for hours, never repeating and never having to think longer then ten seconds before the next one slipped out. It usually didn't take long for Jay to start giggling. It would start small, and as he slowly forgot what he was crying about, it would get louder.

Jay then would slowly unravel his blankets. Leaving the heated zone that he was in, to join Kai's. He would slowly unfurl until he could sit right, if he wasn't already doubled over in laughter as Kai's jokes slowly got more and more atrocious. When Jay felt better, he would start cracking his own. His were, of course, so much better, they left Kai cackling and holding his stomach. When Cole or Nya found them hours later, they were always crying laughing on the ground trying to catch their breaths.

Cole tried to do the same once, it hadn't worked. He was too uncertain of what to say, he was too preoccupied by his crying and then he had run out of jokes to quick. It's not to say that Nya or Cole weren’t ample support to make him feel better, it's just that, neither of them could do it the way that Kai had. The way that left him forgetting the reason he was crying, that whenever he remembered his problem, it was overshadowed by a hilarious joke that had been said.

Jay didn't cry all the time, he was still a ninja, they had work to do. With work, came stress, a lot of stress. He couldn't really tell why (He was ignoring why), but missions had become quite a bit harder, the enemies would hit them from the back and Jay couldn't keep up! It was starting to become really annoying. Jay couldn't know why, but after a few months, he started lashing out more then usual.

Sure he used to lash out at Kai a lot, but it was simply petty fights to get the steam out of their engines. Now that Kai wasn't here, he technically didn't have that outlet, but he didn't think it would matter so much! He thought that if anything, he would find a better copping mechanism. The others where starting to get annoyed by his lashing out. He tried to, but all on his own, he couldn't keep himself distracted, couldn't let out enough rage, he simply couldn't find a way.

Jay couldn't have petty fights with, or throw insults at Cole. After everything with Nya, he couldn't risk bringing up old wounds or actually hurting the other's feelings. Not to mention, Cole could hold a grudge for weeks, so if Jay started something, he would have to deal with the consequences for quite a while. Unlike with Kai, who, when they fought, would forget about it in a few hours. They would then apologize and be back to normal by the end of the day.

He couldn't argue or insult Zane, because Zane was way to nice! He would probably sit there and take it! If not that then he would give clear evidence to disprove whatever they were arguing about. Kai would fight back, he would raise his own voice, not yell, no never yell, but he raised his voice and would get in his business. Not to mention Zane would end it, he would tell Jay to stop and to go cool down. But if Jay could cool down then they wouldn't be fighting in the first place!

He would never argue with Nya, she's his girlfriend, why sow discord? You know? Instead he whines and grumbles, he would drag his feet and make lame jokes (Her words not his). She would tire of it really quick and would tell him to change his attitude or leave. He always ended up having to leave, sending her his best kicked puppy expression. Kai wouldn't have made him leave, he would have made fun of him for whining, sure, but he would have let him, hell, he might have even joined in on the complaining making Jay feel like he wasn’t alone.

Then there was Lloyd, the little shit. If you tried to complain, fight or insult him whatsoever, he would go and get Wu. If not that, he would play so dirty! Bringing up the time they placed him on the pole when they first met. Or he would remind him of all the times he was hurt, captured or worse under their watch! You just couldn't argue with or insult Lloyd or you would end up doing whatever he asked of you for the rest of the day.

He just... Jay misses being able to blow off steam with Kai. Petty fights that usually meant nothing and that hurt no one. By the end of it they would be in the workshop and Jay could show off his cool inventions or upgrades. Right, that's another thing... Nya and Kay are the people who praise his inventions the most, Nya because she's his girlfriend and also interested in such stuff, and Kai because he has watched Nya invent and make stuff so he understands the amount of work that goes into it.

Cole would simply say "Cool" or "Nice work". Which is appreciated! But he kind of wants a little more?. Zane, being the person that he is, would then tell Jay about his own projects and stuff, which is fun and cool, but he wants to talk about his accomplishments, he would like a little praise! Lloyd would look at it and try to find a way to play a prank or cause chaos with it. They simply didn't get it.

Kai would sit with him for hours, literal hours. He would ask all the right questions (even if some of them were stupid and basic) would nod at all the right places. He would flash a grin and make fun of his failed attempts, even if he wouldn't be able to get anywhere close to ever making something like it. He gave so much encouragement, enthusiasm and attention. Not to mention all the praise he gave Jay for his field work.

Kai gave more praise then Cole did, he would praise it and tell him how good of a job he did over and over again. He wouldn't try to one up him like Zane (He knows that Zane's not trying to, but it sometimes feels like it), actually he always said that even if he tried to, he would never be as good as Jay! Ok he might not have said that, but he implied it! He never tried to find a way to use his invention to play pranks or cause chaos, he respected what it was intended for.

Now, Nya praised him too! They would talk for hours about his inventions and how awesome they are! But going from having two people praising you and telling you how good of a job you did, to only having one... It kind of hurt, he tried to feel proud of his inventions and he knew how great he did, but only ever hearing it from Nya tended to make you doubt. Was he actually as good as Nya says?

But it's fine, he's totally fine! There's nothing like a good video game to cheer him up and make him feel good. It's not like he's too competitive and everyone keeps telling him to cool it. No~ of course not. He wasn't actually having much fun. He ended up always being told to watch instead of play. They tolerated him before! Why aren’t they now?

Probably because Kai wasn't here.

Kai was just as competitive if not more then Jay! So when playing games, they would always be pit one against the other or in a team, they would bounce off each other's energy and would end up shoving and playing dirty to win. It was fun! It meant that when he played with other people, Kai would be goading him on and messing him up so that he wouldn't turn competitive against the others. The others would be laughing along at his expense, but it meant that everyone was having fun.

Now he sat on the couch, maybe snuggling Nya if it wasn't her turn to play. It was great to spend time with his family but he wishes that they didn't simply brush him off. It would be even better if he could play too. Two years of not being able to play two player games weighed on his conscious and some times he didn't even want to watch. It left a sour taste in his mouth and his usual smile was replaced by a small and frail one.

He isn't sure, but maybe a year or two after Kai left, everyone broke down in a heap. The living room was full of crying and cuddling as it finally hit them all how much they missed Kai. How they'd all been helped, lifted and cared for by him. Jay hugged his love closer and leaned into Zane's hand on his back, he couldn't see Cole but he guesses that he was looking into space as he did when he was sad. Lloyd was crying just as loud as Nya, if not more and he wishes he could help him, lift his spirits as Kai had done for Jay.

Because Kai would match everyone's energy, unless it was negative, then he would make it so they matched his. He knew how to help everyone feel good about themselves, feel confident, safe and heard. He saw it in the way that Lloyd didn't smile as much, that Nya didn't feel as confident. He didn't know how it affected Zane but it was clear that it did. Cole was clearly playing a lot more music then normal. Safe to say, Kay made the building blocks for people to feel good.

Now they had to do it themselves and Jay was having a really hard time.

So he took it into his own hands! If you can't beat em join em you know. So when Zane started asking for help, he started asking for it as well. Maybe for different reasons but he needed help none the less. One problem he had to take by the reins and fix it himself, another he had to place a lot of effort into. One was just a simple ask away, but one of them couldn't be fixed.

He couldn't really ask for help with cheering him up, no one, not one soul could do it the same way that Kai did. Jay still has a hard time coming back from a rough mission, when Nya or Cole couldn't console him, he was left to simply cry and wish, wish that Kai was here to help. Because, again, no one could do it like him, no one could crack a joke and keep em coming for a few hours. So this was one of those problems that simply couldn't be fixed (Sleeping in Kai's bed definitely helped though).

Next, he had to learn to handle his stress. He couldn't keep bottling it up and exploding. It wasn't fair to the rest of the team and it wasn't fair to himself. He will always appreciate Kai's help, always, but this was clearly a needed push for him to do better. How much longer would Kai have tolerated him? Either way he needed to get it under raps.

He went to Wu for help. It took many months, maybe even a few years, but he eventualy got it under control. Wu had given him guided meditation in a way that let him let go of his stress and anger whenever Jay was too stressed out or angry. It was hard to sit still at first, and even now he fidgets and get side tracked very easily, but he can refocus on it a lot easier and hold it for longer. It's not perfect, but he doesn't lash out anymore.

Kai had made it so it was a quick and easy release, faster and easier for Jay. Jay could admit it. Kai had given him the perfect outlet, a way that made it so he didn't have to stop moving or stay focused, a way that suited him a lot more then what Wu was making him do. He really missed Kai, all anger that he had felt in the first year was gone now. All that was left was a small whole in his life where the fire master should've been.

Next on his list had been the praise issue. It took quite a while for him to get his point across, how do you ask people to praise you without seeming cocky? At first, Cole kept repeating the same stuff, as he had always done. But Jay had soon realized that he simply didn't know what else to say, so he started praising Cole more, he noticed that the team didn't do that often. Like when Cole would bench a lot, they usually brushed it off, but Jay put in some effort to compliment him and praise him and applaud him for it more, for all his accomplishments and anything he was proud of. This translated into Cole learning from him and doing it back. He could feel himself smile brighter whenever he did.

Zane was a little trickier. He had to painstakingly explain to Zane that he wants the attention to stay on him a little more. It took a few tries but one of them hit the nail on the coffin "Look man, I love hearing about your inventions, trust me it's great, but when I show you mine I'm kind of looking for some compliments, maybe some praise? Like how we do whenever you show us one of yours?" Zane caught on quickly after that. Now whenever he shows Zane something, he gets his compliments first and Then Zane tells him about his own. It's a nice back and forth.

Lloyd was, surprisingly, the easiest. It was a quick pop in to tell him that he didn't always appreciate that Lloyd turned everything he made into a type of joke. Then he explained that he was quite proud of his stuff and would appreciate it if he could just tell him he did a great job. Then maybe later on when Jay's thrill over the new invention was done, he could make all the jokes he wanted and turn it into a type of prank. Lloyd completely understood and expressed his own problems with needing some more praise. It was a nice bonding moment.

As same as cheering him up, the others could never truly replace Kai. The way he listened and applauded him so earnestly, they way he would listen for hours if he had nothing else to do. No one else could replicate or come close to it. Jay cherishes the memories and every single piece of praise that Kai gave him and often times it motivates him to keep going, not simply in his inventions, in his ninja work too.

On the subject of working on himself! (well he had moved past that subject but whatever!) If he wanted to have fun with Nya and his brothers playing video games, then he had to get his competitiveness in check. So he worked on it as well, at first he did it with Lloyd, since he was the most tolerant. They would sit and play games for a few hours quite often, Jay would take lots of breaks at first, every time he felt like he would start raging, that he would get to cocky, too mean and competitive, he would step out and calm himself. Lloyd often times had to remind him if not kick him out.

But gradually he got better, he was then able to join game nights again! He still needed breaks, but he was doing a lot better then before! He was able to play two player games without getting mad at his partner, he was able to play one vs one without getting to cocky and mean, or angry. He definitely had to down play a lot of his emotions, it of course wasn't the same as being able to let loose and let his emotions run their course. Sometimes, he still wishes he was able to let go and have fun like he use to with Kai.

But that was the beauty that was Kai (lol), he was what let Jay have his emotions. He would match Jay's energy and it would kind of neutralize him in a way. If not that, then Kai led Jay to feel good about himself and his interest, he led Jay to feel better whenever he was in a really bad slump. This is just to prove that, Kai was part of his foundation or simply, was an important component in the machinery that was Jay's life, Jay trying to fix a delicate part with scrap pieces of metal could only go so far. Because the scrap metal could never replace Kai, only allow Jay to keep functioning.

Jay really wishes he had thanked Kai more, had expressed his gratitude more. He misses the freedom that Kai had willingly given him. He wishes that he had noticed sooner so that he could have worked on his problems with Kai at his side, maybe even have found better solutions.

He misses Kai...

Chapter Text

Kai was leaving. Cole didn't know how to react, he felt like the fact that Kai didn't want to be a ninja had been obvious in the beginning, but then he seemed to have grown into it and loved it. So when did he start hating it again? Nya was crying into Jay's shoulder, he thought of going over and consoling her as well, but he couldn't bring himself to. Instead, he followed Kai, they were moving down the halls of the monastery. Cole’s steps were as light as they had been trained to be, but Kai's weren’t, the floor trembled under his feet and he was walking fast and furiously.

"Kai, where are you going? Do you even have a plan?'' His voice was filled with dread and worry, not to mention, desperation. But Kai simply kept moving, they neared their room and Kai slammed the door open. Cole winced at the sound, but he slinked in behind him. Kai's face was calm, calmer than Cole had ever seen it. His actions were angry but the way he stared made it seemed like he was simply letting out old steam, steam that was building up for years.

"Come on Kai, we can talk about this..." Cole tried to catch Kai's arm, but Kai simply moved out of the way and grabbed his... already packed bags. Cole felt his feet stick to the floor, unable to move. Kai had been planning for this, even if he and Nya hadn't been fighting till just then, he had planned to leave. Kai was already out of the building when Cole caught up. He kept asking questions, asking him to rethink his decision.

"Kai, we..." He tried to say that they needed him. But he had already pointed it out, they didn't need his protection and Lloyd was strong enough on his own, they needed him, but not so much that he had to stay. If Kai wanted to leave, it was his choice, it would be alright. So Cole watched as Kai made his way down the hill, he didn't look back and his pace was calmer, steady. Cole didn't cry, but his heart had to put in a little more effort to beat.

Weeks had passed without Kai, everything was going well enough. Nya was crying often, Jay would be at her side and consoling her more often than not. Zane continued on as always, his cooking took a little longer than usual, but Cole wasn't going to complain. He would pop in and listen to music with him once in a while, help a little, but he was never really good in the kitchen (Except for his stew). Lloyd just wanted to be left alone.

So Cole would end up alone in their room. He would play his music, music of all genres with lyrics as diverse as the stars. It was his refuge, it kept his mind busy and kept him rooted to the ground, well... Usually it would. Cole couldn't focus on his music anymore... The fact was, Kai used to listen to it with him. They used to make fun of and praise composers and singers, laugh at the funny songs, dance to the fun tunes. It was always lively one way or another. Now it was just the music.

It felt too quiet. Just Cole and his music... He didn't have the heart to analyze the lyrics, to laugh at the innuendos, to dance and jam out. It was just too quiet and he didn't understand why!? The songs could be blasting in his ears and he would still try and listen for Kai's voice among it, still miss their debates over the best artists, still missed, everything... Music had always been a huge part of Cole’s life, it had gotten him through so much, why wasn’t it doing the same for him now? Why could he not lose himself into it and forget his grievances and loss?

When Nya and Jay had stopped crying and were getting back into doing what they liked, Cole was right by their side, having fun and getting up to shenanigans again, hoping to distract them and himself. Whenever he tried to listen to music with them though, they never wanted to listen to his playlist, never wanted to listen to random and weird songs, all they wanted to do is listen to their own songs and sing along, no debates, arguments, lyric analysis, nothing! He couldn’t count on them to give him what Kai had, to make the music loud and mean more than just the words that were sung. They couldn’t fill the missing part of the music; he wasn’t sure that it could be filled.

Cole couldn’t listen to any of the songs on his own without remembering Kai and getting an urge to shut the music off, it was too painful, it reminded him that Kai had left them, willingly and without looking back. So Cole slowly but surely stopped listening to his music, it was too lonely, too quiet, too painful. He had grown accustomed to Kai being there with him, maybe not all the time but often enough that listening to it alone felt almost wrong. It left him lost and alone with his emotions, it felt like the music was moving around him, leaving him with nothing but the silence of Kai’s ghost. He's pretty sure that he's worrying Wu.

Seeing as he couldn't distract himself with music, he ended up training. The new course was fun, a lot different then the one that burned down, the new one even had a timer and a "two player" mode. He gladly threw himself into training, move after move, try after try. It didn't work out. Again! Kai had kept him company! Did he not have anything better to do?! Now Cole is here doing everything alone! Why... Why did Kai not like this life? What had been so awful that he had to leave?

Cole's not going to lie to himself, training was dull. It was boring and just not what it used to be. Every time he tried to do the course he would be bombarded with a sinking feeling as though it was missing something, probably the rivalry. Even when he did it with his brothers, it wasn't the same anymore. The others might've not felt it seeing as they had always been serious with training (Jay was the exception, he couldn’t focus so just ended up jumping from place to place), but Cole had, he realized that Kai had given a little pep into the course, making it fun and rewarding, it made Cole look forward to it, now he could only move through the course and wonder when it would be over.

Cole and Kai had a rivalry when it came to training, that’s how it had stayed fun. The others liked the team building exercises, but those simply meant that they all worked together, none of them liked to go one against the other, not the way that he and Kai did. Cole was always motivated to do better because he and Kai were neck to neck in training (Cole was pissed that he could never beat Kai with a sword, but Kai could never lift as much as Cole so it was kind of even.) “I bet I can stay balanced on the sword for longer than you!” “I bet you can’t beat my score on hard mode.”

On and on, stupid challenges that end with one or the other laughing, proud grins and stupid jokes. Cole missed it, missed having someone nag him and make him want to improve. Because Cole Did want to improve, but he had to push himself too, while before he had Kai to push him too. Ninjago needed them at their best, but Cole always felt like he was, while Kai had always proved that he wasn’t, proving that Cole was amazing but could always do more. So then Cole simply did the bare minimum. He did it unknowingly of course, it took him a year and some to figure that out.

With training being a bust, he ended up just sitting in bed and drawing, this, he could still do thankfully. But it gave him time to think, to think of his family, to think of his childhood, to think about Kai. It always led him to spiral, to doubt, to stress “Did he do this thing right” “was he being a good son?” “could he have done better?” doubt after doubt, down and down the slippery slope that is his mind and his worries. He simply wanted to be there for everyone, to do everything he can for his family and friends, so that they’re happy and safe.

The stupid, idiot that was Kai was usually the only person that he talked about this to… Of course he was. Cole tried to focus on his drawing, he was drawing the calm and serene view that was a bird sitting on a branch of the tree outside of their window (It is now on his wall) but all he could think about was Kai sitting next to him head bobbing to imaginary music in his mind.

They would talk about their childhoods, how they had so many expectations on their shoulders and so much grief. Cole always felt like he knew Kai so well during these talks, because they had similarities in their childhoods, their actions and their thought process. Cole didn’t talk much about the hard stuff, emotions and childhood were off the table usually. But Kai always knew how to make him feel strong and yet allowed to feel and be “weak” he felt safe to express himself and his worries.

Because Kai understood. Kai understood and could sympathize, it was a give and take interaction where Kai talked about his own doubts and childhood while Cole talked of his own, he felt safe to express whatever he wanted and he knew Kai would understand and support him, or if he clearly needed to be set straight, Kai wasn’t afraid to tell him he’s wrong and correct him. Kai was the only person that could get him to let his guard down… Not because the others didn’t try, they just didn’t know how to breach the subject and so Cole felt cornered and not free to talk. They didn’t have the expectation of being stoic and unbreaking on their shoulders like he and Kai had.

Kai had given him a safe place to talk about his childhood, his stresses and doubts, someone who understood, understood all that he said and left unsaid. Now, Cole was left to delve deeper and deeper, analyzing and reanalyzing his interactions, decisions, everything. He simply wanted to make everyone happy, safe, heard and loved. Why was It so hard? Why could he easily lend an ear, understand other’s points of views and yet have so many problems expressing his own? He misses Kai, he misses how easily they understood each other, how Kai let him let his walls come down.

Not to mention that he needed him now more than ever. Lloyd was having a really hard time with Kai leaving. For the first year or so, all the leadership fell onto Cole’s shoulders as Lloyd mourned and cried, Cole was now the one making most if not all the decision making. He will admit that he was very bad at hearing everyone out but he was stressing! Like really bad, every single decision, question, everything fell on his shoulders. He wasn’t ever used to it. Not when they started, not now.

When the Ninja first started out, he had been the leader, he had been good at it but it was never simply him… It had been him and Kai. Cole was leader most of the time but when it became to much and he was lost and overwhelmed, Kai had taken over, he had placed his hand on Cole’s shoulder and then took all the weight onto his shoulders, this had given Cole room to breath, to relax and simply follow instead of guide, it had meant a lot to Cole. He had never really admitted it to the others but leading weighed him down and added so much stress and doubt.

But he could never hide it from Kai. The man must’ve had a sixth sense or something, every time that Cole got overwhelmed, felt like he couldn’t breath, Kai was at his side and taking over in seconds. The other ninja never caught on, Cole was very pleased about that. But now… now everyone was going through their own thing, clearly Kai leaving had hit everyone very hard, so he had to bear it, he had to stay strong and learn to breathe through it because the others needed him. He had to stay strong and in charge so the other wouldn’t have to worry. Kai was his training wheels, now he had to learn to ride without them. FSM, was it difficult.

Well, a year after Kai left, everyone crashed. Cole can’t remember much about it, he remembers being held by Zane, hearing people crying and Wu meditating, but he couldn’t say much else. All he had done was stare off into space, finally shutting his mind off and letting himself grieve, to just be. He didn’t cry, he felt numb if anything, but he did feel himself resetting, he knew that his family was here and safe and going to get better, that this was a wake up call for all of them that they had to move past this and find ways to get better. Kai had clearly helped all of them a lot more than they had believed.

To Cole, he was a rock, which is kind of funny since Cole was the elemental master of earth, but Kai was his rock. More specifically, he was the rock that he could lean on when he was crumbling from the pressure of being everyone else’s rock, Kai was the rock that he needed to keep him going and motivated. Now that he was gone Cole felt like everything was hitting him and he couldn’t lean on anything, no one could see his assailants and lend him a hand (He didn’t really give them a chance to). Not to mention that Kai had been an important part of his daily life, that him not being there, made Cole not want to do what used to be fun, because it wasn’t fun anymore, not when he was on his own.

Things did start changing after they crashed, he hadn’t been the first to reach out for help, not even the second. But at some point he did, that’s what mattered. When Zane had asked for help with cooking, Cole had dived head first to help him out, he ended up simply cutting and preparing the vegetables seeing as his cooking skills were atrocious, but he got the hang of it, it was one of those days that an idea hit him. Jay and Nya didn’t like to talk about music, but maybe… Zane would? So he attentively started a conversation about a song that they both liked.

It was surprisingly easy to get Zane to jump on board with the discussion, he was quite glad for it, he was able to lose himself in their analyzing, in their discussions and Zane’s info dumps about a topic he didn’t know about. It became a normal part of their cooking time. He also decided to rope Lloyd into it as well, it took a lot more effort but Cole wasn’t about to give up. So over the years he was able to get Lloyd to analyze and debate him about music, it was amazing! With Zane and Lloyd, he was able to learn to love music again, he could listen to songs and think of debates and discussions he could have with them later on. He could finally hear the music again.

It took him quite a while of re-learning to love music before he could listen to songs and not think of Kai at his side, to listen to songs and not imagine Kai singing along. Now he simply reminisces, laughs at jokes about certain lyrics that Kai had said before. He forced himself to take the time and let himself grieve, it took a while before his emotions shifted, shifted into a lighter thing that sat in the hole that Kai had left behind. He still had his days where he couldn’t hear the songs and simply stared at the ceiling, but they were very infrequent thankfully. He will always miss Kai at his side singing and cracking jokes, at least now he could miss him with a smile.

Next he had to find a way to motivate himself to train, if he kept going as he had been, then he would never improve, he had to figure out how to move himself to train. Thankfully this came in a very Jay shaped problem. Jay couldn’t keep himself concentrated on one exercise at a time, this made his training sporadic and not very good, Cole (who loves to help others when given the chance) decided that it could fall into his hands to keep him on track. Cole could simply instruct Jay on what to do while doing it himself, he could create a one sided rivalry with Jay so that he was motivated to do better so that Jay would do better!

It worked wonders! Cole had a reason to push himself again, he had to improve and train so that he could lead Jay in the exercises, to keep him interested and focused and improving. Was it the same as training with Kai? Absolutely not, but it was working and he was able to grow closer to Jay because of it, they ended up chatting more during training, this also lead to Jay praising him more, he won’t lie, it felt amazing to see his hard work pay off, to finally be recognized, to feel seen. A nice side effect was that he learned how to better praise his team mates, it was a win-win situation.

Of course, he still missed his and Kai’s rivalry. It’s not that Jay was boring, it’s more of, he isn’t fun in the way that Kai had been fun and Cole missed it. He ended up getting the whole team into games that doubled as training, it was the closest he could get to the same type of fun that he had with Kai, it helped a lot, the others didn’t seem to mind either.

Cole knew that his spiraling had been getting worse, he could see it in the way that everyone hesitated to bring it up, they all approached him to talk about it but hesitated and changed the topic. Cole couldn’t bring himself to bring it up, every time he tried, he closed up and ended up back in their room and listening to music, wishing Kai was there to talk too. When Cole had been boiling ready to crack and spill out of the pot after a hard day, Wu was the one that came to his aid.

It took a few attempts before Cole started to open up, it took a few more weeks before Wu knew what to say to make Cole comfortable. It was a lot of work on both their parts to make it work, but eventually they did. Cole had slowly learned to open up more, to express himself through his words and make everything plain to see and not blurred between the lines and unsaid. It took even longer before he felt fully safe, safe to express and feel small, to feel unsure and in need of guidance. But Wu was a very patient man. He gave great advice and answers that Kai hadn’t known.

Wu worked hard to make him feel as safe as Kai had, to feel as free to be open as he had. But he would never be able to relate to him like Kai. Cole would always miss it, he knew deep down that no one would ever understand him and make him feel as heard as Kai had. Because that’s what Kai did, he was able to delve and find the broken lost pieces of people and build them back together to start the healing process, it was a long process but it worked. Him leaving had left Cole with the pieces falling apart again. But he now had Wu to cradle it, maybe not as close as Kai had, but well enough that if Cole put in the effort, he could start to mend it again. It took a while.

Another thing that helped with his worries, was not having to lead all on his own anymore. After talking with Wu, he decided that it was time that he talked with the others and explained that he didn’t want to be solely in charge anymore, leading always ate him up and left him breathless. The others had been worried, they had each given him a big hug and promised to help out. Lloyd promised that they could lead together, co leaders. It was clear that they both didn’t want to lead the team on their own. So Cole gladly lent his own shoulder to lean on while also getting his team's shoulders in response.

He had felt the team grow closer as they all took over the leading of the group, as they all were there for each other, lifting each other up and pushing each other to grow better and improve. He misses Kai, always will. But clearly he made his path and now they each had to work to make their own path without him. He will always miss having Kai’s hand on his shoulder and supporting him, pushing him, making him feel better, so Cole will always strive to do better as a way to say thank you, because Cole finally realized that he never truly said thank you, thank him for being the shoulder that Cole could lean on when he was to scared to lean on anyone.

Chapter Text

Lloyd knew that Nya had gone too far when Kai, instead of taking a walk to calm himself, started yelling back. It choked Lloyd to the bone, Kai never yelled, he was the hot head and got angry easily, but he never yelled and most definitely not at Nya. Lloyd was left mouth gaping like a fish as Kai admitted that he never wanted to be a ninja, that all of these years he did it for Nya... Was that truly it? Was that truly the only reason?

Lloyd could only hear his ears ringing as Kai walked out of his life, even after promising to always be by his side to always protect him. Ever since he became the green ninja Kai was at his side, Kai was teaching him and training him. Late nights were spent talking about the little things, days filled with stupid pranks so that everyone could laugh. Kai was his big brother, he was one of Lloyd’s role models and could notice one of his bad moods from miles away. Lloyd had problems with showing gratitude, but he deeply hopes that Kai knew how much he meant to Lloyd.

Lloyd had never said he was strong enough without the other four, never. He’s quite sure It's the opposite actually. He could feel himself grow weaker as Kai walked away, he could almost sense his passion for… Anything, slowly slip away. Lloyd was a mix of all four elements he felt at his strongest when his brothers were at his side, when he felt protected and cared for. Ninjago was created with the four elements and this translated into Lloyd needing all four of them, him being a mesh of them. So why did he leave? Didn’t he know that Lloyd needed all four of his protectors?

All Lloyd remembers the next few months after Kai left, was crying. The kind that left you losing track of time, unable to move or think. His sobs were harsh and filled his room from wall to wall, they crawled their way out of his mouth scraping the sides of his throat and making him wish that Kai was there to pass him a glass of water. But he wasn't. His shirt felt like it weighed him down with how soaked it was from his tears, tears that wouldn't stop flowing.

He was shutting the world out because he didn't understand why everyone always left him. Why did Kai leave? What was so bad about this life? Was it Lloyd's fault?

No one could answer him, no one, not even Nya could give him an answer on why Kai decided to leave. So Lloyd huddled into his blankets, closed the door to his room and let all his grief and sorrows go. It's all he could do. Every time he thought he was almost done, another wave hit him out of nowhere, a memory would pop up and remind him why he was crying, on and on like a vicious cycle.

He knew he worried everyone during this time, but he couldn't bring himself to care like he had done before, like he had done when Zane died. Before he would've tried to keep himself strong for the others, would’ve placed his green ninja mask on and continued as his duty called for. But his big brother had left him, he couldn't even bring himself to do more than simply join the others for food, and help Zane in the kitchen when needed. He couldn't hide that he had been crying but he could act as though he was simply bored.

Even then, just pretending for those small glimpses of time left him breaking down the second he entered his room again.

His heart was heavy, so so heavy. His mother left him, his father left him, now Kai had left him as well. No more bear hugs, no more shenanigans that left the group giving them fake death glares, no more reassurance, no more... Kai had meant so much to him, but clearly he hadn't meant as much to Kai. If he had, then he wouldn't have left so easily, he would have fought to stay, fought to open their eyes. Right?

He doesn't know how many months he was locked in his room, but he knew it wasn't more than a year, but after that period, Nya came to him to help. She tried to at least. If anything it got Lloyd moving again but it didn’t truly help... Not the way that Kay had. She started by bribing him out of his room, giving him chocolate and sweets, she then started forcing him out of his room and into the sun. It reminded him of Kai, the sun. Everyone else might not have noticed how much Kai did for them, but Lloyd did.

Kai might've had a hard time with emotions, but not when it came to others, Lloyd misses it every day, how understanding and supporting he was. Nya... Nya was not. Lloyd can clearly remember when he had started crying out of nowhere, tears growing under his eyes, knees giving out and sobs falling out of his mouth like a broken song (he had remembered a sweet memory of him and Kai setting up a prank), Nya had held him close, rubbing his back, it helped but when she started talking Lloyd had to block it out or he would've started crying even harder.

"Kai would've wanted you to stay strong, I think you're doing amazing and..." she tried, Lloyd knows she did but she wasn't really the comforting type when it was about a subject of which she was going through as well. She tended to say what she wanted to hear, but to Lloyd it felt dismissive like she was telling him to do better... So Lloyd blocked her out. Because as much as she was trying to be Kai, to fill that role for Lloyd, she couldn't. She wasn't Kai, Kai was one of a kind and knew Lloyd better then Lloyd knew himself.

The volcano seemed to have opened Kai's eyes and ever since then he was the first on Lloyd's side in every instance, always giving him space, help, love, everything. Lloyd felt the loss like a kick to his gut. He still had his brothers, but none of them had been as helpful as Kai, none of them had the patience for a little Lloyd, so it fell onto Kai. Kai wasn’t the most patient man in the world but he had learned to be just for Lloyd, just so that Lloyd didn’t feel bad, or as if he were a burden. So Lloyd felt alone, surrounded by people who he loved and that loved him, yet alone.

Wu was always searching for something, always looking at something important, he was keeping himself busy (With what? Lloyd doesn't know). Cole tried to keep himself busy, but the way he did it meant that Lloyd wasn’t very inclined to join. He didn't like music analysis, he liked to train seriously and he couldn't draw to save his life.

Jay was usually busy working on something new or with Nya, not to mention that he was usually mean or angry after a mission so Lloyd usually ignored him, or ratted him out to Wu and if he wanted to be a little mean in retaliation, then he would guilt trip him. It always worked.

Zane was always off doing his own thing and often talked about stuff that Lloyd didn't understand, if not that, then he was trying to teach him something (Like Kai had).

Then there's Nya... She only wanted to talk about her machines or Kai... Lloyd couldn't stomach talking about Kai. So Lloyd felt alone, so alone. He had grown close to his brothers but not in the way that he had been close to Kai, so now Lloyd did his own stuff, always on his own.

Video games weren’t the same either. Something that usually brought them all together wasn't working like it always had before. Jay was too competitive, so they made him sit out, only watch. Lloyd knew it hurt him, but he didn't know how to help... Kai would've given him an answer, a suggestion. But Kai wasn't here. So video games between them became a rare pastime, none of them liked leaving Jay out.

Mission leader was now Cole's job (again). Lloyd couldn't bring himself to do missions for a few months and he didn't really want to take up the mantle again so he left it to Cole. What if his choices made Kai leave? What if he didn't back Kai enough? What if they were too dangerous and now Kai didn't want to deal with them anymore? Why did Kai leave? Lloyd simply couldn't wrap his head around it. His big brother was gone.

Lloyd also noticed Cole having a hard time being team leader as well. But he didn't know what to do! Cole wasn't asking for help or anything. So what was bothering him? Kai would've known. If only Lloyd had spent more time seeing how Kai helped them, instead of only noticing that Kai Did help them. Maybe then he could help the others like Kai had. But now it was too late.

Lloyd had done something wrong and now he had lost Kai, just like he had lost his mom... His dad. What was he doing wrong? Who would leave him next? Would it be Wu? He wasn't sure but he hoped it was no one.

It’s not like Kai is dead. Everyone is acting as though he is, but he isn’t. They even know where he went! Kai never said that he was cutting them off, never said that he was leaving them forever to never talk to them again. He said that he was leaving the ninja life, he was going home to his forge with his parents. They could’ve probably visited him! But none of them ever did, Wu had told them that the villains waited for no one and that the forge was too far away. If Lloyd had been of clear mind back then, he would’ve probably come up with a solution and visited anyway, but everyone seemed to have forgotten that they could visit, acting as though he was dead, or had left them forever.

Why didn’t Kai visit? Was something stopping him?

All of these bottled up emotions from everyone lead to them crashing a year after Kai left them. He couldn’t remember much from it, he was crying his eyes out and being hugged by Nya, that's all he knew. He wanted to weld to her side so that she couldn’t leave like Kai had. He just wanted his family, he simply wanted a normal life. He wishes he had learned how Kai helped everyone, wishes he got Kai to help him get hobbies in common with the others. He regrets so much, but most of all he regrets not telling Kai how much he appreciated him. If he had, would he have stayed?

After their crash he was jealous that everyone else was getting their shit together while he was still lost. Zane was the first, then Jay and then Cole then Nya followed. Lloyd was still lost, he felt left behind. How did they heal so easily? How were they moving on? Lloyd hadn't understood. He didn't cry as often anymore, but he was still crying, did the others not? Had they cried at all?

He had gotten his answer when Zane asked for help, it wasn’t much, but it was enough to see that Kai leaving had hit him. Zane started asking people to help him with cooking, not a lot, just to cut some veggies or wash them, Lloyd was ecstatic at the chance to help him (Just like Kai had) . At first Lloyd was quiet, what did they have in common to talk about? Then one day Lloyd brought in one of his mythology books, he was going to read it after Zane didn’t need his help anymore. He kind of zoned out before he even finished the first chapter, it was a page about dragons, specifically a fire dragon… He had been about to start crying but…

“Oh, are you into mythology Lloyd?” Zane had looked at him with an eyebrow raised. Lloyd, feeling unable to talk, nodded, his throat felt clogged, his eyes felt heavy as the room started to look distorted from the building tears. Zane had probably seen him on the verge of tears, but he didn’t comment. Instead he started listing off his favorite myths. Lloyd was very much surprised that Zane knew stuff about myths, he probably shouldn’t have been. He could feel his throat loosen up, he started to add his own opinion. It was nice. It became his and Zane’s thing, whenever he needed someone to talk to, when he was close to tears, he now went to Zane and they could talk for hours about Mythology.

Lloyd assumes that that’s when he started getting better, started healing.

The next thing he knew; Cole had roped him into his music analysis one day. Lloyd had simply wanted to talk to Zane because he could feel himself spiraling, but Zane was already talking to Cole. At the time, Lloyd hadn’t known that he had pouted upon seeing them already talking, but now he knew that it was probably obvious that he needed someone. So before he could fully leave, Cole asked him his thoughts on the lyrics of a song. Lloyd hadn’t really wanted to at first, but he gave in after a little bit of prodding from them. Ever since then if Lloyd hadn’t talked to him in a while Cole would seek him out for some music analysis.

Cole had been a great teacher, even if it took years for Lloyd to actually get good at it or truly enjoy it. But eventually he did, the analysis let him discover himself through music, he could listen to a song and feel a connection, if he didn’t know why, he would go to Cole and they would analyze and debate and by the end of their discussion Lloyd would know why, he would understand the emotion that had been crawling in his gut but that he didn’t know it’s purpose. It was kind of like how Kai had helped him figure out his emotions before, at least now it was through music. Lloyd was very grateful that Cole decided to rope him into the conversation that day, it helped him understand himself and most of all it gave him a link to Cole.

Sometimes he still couldn’t understand himself, still wishes that Kai was there to tell him why he felt a curtain way, but at least now, he wasn’t bottling everything up like before, he could get through it.

As much as he wishes that he was the one that figured out how to get Jay out of his competitive slump, it was Jay himself who did. He approached Lloyd when Lloyd was left staring at the ceiling in the gaming room (He had been dissociating and remembering Kai), he had asked him for help. Lloyd was very eager to help! So Jay explained his plan on how to rein in his competitiveness and so began their nightly gaming sessions! It was only playing at first, it was quiet except for Jay who would shoot off curses or gloating, but after a while Lloyd started tentatively talking. This devolved into him and Jay talking about their issues with praise again. So it kind of worked out both ways, Lloyd helped Jay with his competitiveness and Jay helped out with his praise issue.

Lloyd was extremely happy when everyone started playing video games together again. It took a few tries before anyone wanted to play against Jay, but eventually they gave it a try. Now, free time is often filled with games as a team, a family. He picked up on the fact that Jay openly praised him more often, which developed into everyone being a lot more praising of everyone. Game nights would never be the same without Kai, they could all feel the lack of passion and fire when it came to games but they were slowly mending the gap that was left. Lloyd now had this to connect him with Jay. He, Cole and Zane felt like his brothers, just like Kai had.

He still had times where Jay found him staring at the ceiling, but it was much less frequent and the others were always there to help him come back to himself.

Lloyd isn’t sure, but he has a hunch that his brothers talked to Nya about her behavior when it came to Lloyd. She didn’t bring up kai as often anymore, not unless it fit with the topic or Lloyd brought him up first. He is very grateful for it. It took a while, but Nya never gave up on them, so Lloyd didn’t either, conversations where stilted for a while, neither could think of something to talk about, their dynamic had changed since it had always been the three of them and never simply the two. But they deeply wanted it to work, so they worked on it. Whenever Lloyd thought of something funny, he would go to Nya. Whenever Nya thought of a fun activity, she would go to Lloyd before even thinking of going to Jay.

It slowly developed into a new sibling bond, it reminded him of their old one, but much, much, stronger. They could sit around and joke for hours, they would play pranks like they had before, they went to amusement parks and the movies. She was the older sister that Lloyd had always wanted. They were there for each other on the hard days and smiling with the other on the good ones. She was there. She wasn’t leaving any time soon and he loved her for that. He was the annoying little brother and her, the crazy but cool older sister. He finally didn’t feel so alone.

He wasn’t alone, it finally felt like he had a family. He, Nya, Jay, Zane, Cole and master Wu. They were a family who were there for each other, through thick and thin. He finally understood that they had all missed Kai. They each had wept and grieved but they each did it in their own way. Lloyd finally understood that for others the healing was more linear then his own, maybe even easier, but there was still a healing process to be taken. Lloyd doesn’t know where he would be if his siblings hadn’t gently taken him by the hand and led him towards the light. But he’s thankful everyday.

He’s thankful that they’re there for his easier and his harder days.

Oh! Not to mention that the team leader role fell on everyone now. Cole had finally opened up about how he felt being the team leader all the time, everyone understood. Lloyd felt as though his own insecurities and problems with leadership hadn’t been stupid or childish. The conversation ended with everyone giving Cole a massive hug, maybe Lloyd even shed a few tears, no one would know. Ever since then, situations were evaluated and whoever had the best insight or idea took over the leading role. Sometimes it was two people, sometimes it was three, but no matter what, everyone could lean on each other, they all had each other and that’s what helped them get their heads back into the game.

Kai might’ve covered their butts a lot more than any Ninja had noticed, he was their protector through everything. It had been hard to re-learn to cover their own backs, to stop wondering where Kai was and implementing him in their plans. The team finally felt like a team again and so whenever someone forgot that Kai wasn’t here, it was a kick to the gut. Kai did so much for them, he regrets not doing as much for him. He regrets thinking that he was always in the way or not serious enough. But most of all, Lloyd regrets calling him, hell even thinking him, selfish. If Kai is anything, it’s not selfish.

Seeing as Wu wouldn’t let him visit Kai, seeing as Kai (Which is odd) hadn’t come to visit and mostly that the others acted as though he was gone forever. Lloyd learned to see him in the sunny days, the days where the team was laughing and forgetting their worries, the missions where he used a move that Kai had taught him. He learned to find him in the blooming red flowers on the mountain (That he has planted in pots and placed all around the Bounty and monastery). Kai was anything but little, but he was the little things that made everyone feel seen, made them feel human when no one else did.

He will always remember how much Kai did for everyone; Lloyd will strive to help the others just like Kai had. Because this was his family, maybe not by blood, but with everything that matters and he knows that Kai, deep down, still loves them, still loves Lloyd, because Kai was so full of love, it’s impossible for him to have lost it all.

Chapter Text

Nya had been scared, stressed and just… tired. She hadn’t meant to yell and let her frustrations out on Kai, it had been a hard day for the team. They had just defeated another person who thought they could take over the world. Kai had shielded her and Lloyd the whole time, this meant that he was kind of in her way. Nya had felt mostly useless as she watched her big brother take on her fight for her. Because that's what he did, he protected her even when she didn’t ask for it, but she could always count on him when she did.

So why did she say that!? Why did she push Kai so much? Why? She called him selfish! She called the most selfless person that she knows selfish… She truly wasn’t thinking. Ever since she could remember, Kai had always been giving his everything for Nya. From making sure she had an education, to food on her plate before his own, and saving money for her extracurricular. Nya knew that she always came first for Kai.

Nya was crying, frustrated and angry as she was hugged by Jay. Her big brother was steadily walking away from her… From their family to go “Home”. Did he truly not believe the monastery to be home? After all these years he’s never felt at home? Never felt like he was where he was supposed to be? Nya had believed that they had built a new home here, away from poverty and the pity stares from the adults.

Well what does he know anyway! She doesn't need him here anyways! The team will continue on like normal and almost nothing will change! (She was lying to herself. She knew that everything was going to go downhill from here.) She was a woman now. She could take care of herself and she didn't need Kai to coddle her anymore.

How could he leave!? how could he leave so easily as if he wasn't leaving his whole family behind for... for what? So he could be "free"?! Free from her?

Nya had a really hard time the next few weeks. She cried a lot more than she wanted to admit. Her bed pulled her in just as much as Jay's arms did. Her face was red and she could never shake the feeling of tears from her cheeks. She appreciated Jay being there for her, but when she wasn't angry, all she truly wanted was her brother. He had always been there before whenever she cried.

She still remembered when she was 8. She had a bad day at school and had pissed off a boy from an older class, so she came home... how funny to call it home after so long... she came home with a bloody nose and tears cascading down her cheeks. Her brother had held her all night and promised to never let something like that happen again. She could still feel the warmth of it. How he had held tight and close, rubbing warm circles in her back. It had spread throughout her body making all the aches dull, and all her muscles loosen like the metal that he bent to his will.

She misses it. Now all cuddled up crying in Jay's arms she missed it so much. She felt cold, her limbs were tense and the ache in her heart wouldn't leave. Nothing could compare to Kai's hugs, it felt like hugging the sun after a bad day. It filled you up and made you forget that the day was ever un-perfect. Now she had to stew in the cold and steal any warmth from anything she could.

She and Kai had fought before. But never like this. Not in a way that made the other leave. She loved her brother much too dearly for anything like that. She didn't even think it was possible! Kai had never even raised his voice at her, yelling at her wasn't even something she thought he could do. He always attempted to stay calm when fighting with her, if he couldn't do that, then he would take a walk and come back. So what had she done that was too far this time? What had she said that finally tipped the bucket and made him leave?

She tried to comfort Jay just as much as he comforted her, but every time that her soothing didn't help relieve his pain, her emotions would always get the best of her and she would get angry. Why couldn't she care for others like Kai did?! Why couldn't she make Jay smile with jokes and what not?! Why didn't her hugs bring as much warmth as Kai's had? Why couldn't she make the ones she loves forget about their woes and simply melt in a hug like her brother?

If she was bad at comforting Jay, then she was horrible at doing it for Lloyd. She truly did try her best, she just lost one brother, she didn't want to let Lloyd lose himself and in turn lose him. She tried all the strategies that she saw Kai do, but she didn't know what she did wrong or what she was missing. Lloyd would simply zone out while hugging her and all she could do was squeeze harder.

She missed having Kai to tell her what she was lacking. She wasn't always the best when it came to comfort. But she truly wanted to be! Just like he is. Kai is amazing at comforting, it's like it’s in his blood.

She couldn't let Lloyd self sabotage himself, so if talking didn't work, she simply started bribing and forcing him out of his room. That worked a little better, but clearly not by much. She didn't understand. She grew up with kai! She healed just as many of his injuries then he did hers. She helped him with his emotions and problems just as much as he did, so why did Kai always know what to say and do to make people feel better but she doesn't?!

Nya looked around as everyone broke down around her and she didn't understand. She was angry and she was sad and scared... She just wanted her big brother back. The big brother that would tell her bedtime stories, who forged her the most beautiful small daggers. The brother that gave the best hugs. So where was he? Oh right, he left!

He left without even a goodbye! He left even though his whole life was here. Here with her and the others. What had she missed?

Did he not like the adventures? No, he must've loved those, it would be too boring to stay home and have a normal job. They had seen amazing views, amazing places and people. They traveled all over the world and sometimes realms, always chasing the next adventure that brought thrill and life and everything that their old life didn't have.

She still remembers being young and always wanting to hear stories from her teachers of all the cool stuff that they did, all the places they visited and friends they had made. But she and Kai had been stuck in that small village. Doomed to stay there and talk with the same people, go to the same places and do the same thing everyday. Did he truly miss that?

Nya sure didn't! When master Wu gave them the chance to stay and continue Kai's training and give them a chance to live a new life away from the small village and forge, she had jumped on it and had never looked back. From time travel to ghost to dragons, they had met so many people and creatures, done so many unusual and once in a lifetime thing that she didn't even have the time to think of the stuffy old forge.

So why did Kai?

Nya didn't know, and now she didn't truly think she would ever find out. Her brother didn't even send her letters, no postcards or flowers, nothing. He didn't visit once a month or even once every few months. He dropped off the face of the earth and it's as though he only existed in their minds. She was worried. Was he ok? Was he safe?

A few months after Kai initially left, Nya tried to go and visit him. But Wu had told her not to. To wait until he reached out first. She heeded his advice and waited. And waited. And waited! But nothing came! She had been ready to marsh down to that old forge and demand answers, but Wu stopped her again.

"I received a letter from Kai, he doesn't want anyone to visit or to try and communicate with him."

Nya's heart fell into her stomach. Kai wouldn't... No, he might've stopped being a ninja but he wouldn’t have abandoned them completely. He wouldn't… Would he? Did her brother truly want nothing to do with them? Had she pushed him too far?

Let's just say that Nya cried for a long while after that. She couldn't believe that Kai would say such a thing. But if Wu said he sent the letter, then truly, maybe, he got sick of them. But what if he meant that he didn't want anyone to visit for a while longer? Or that he would come and visit them instead?

No matter what. She could see the team falling apart at the seams. Everyone was affected by Kai leaving. She didn't know how to help. She was the most affected by it and yet the least affected by it because she knew that no matter what, Kai still loved her. Deep down she knew it. Just like how the sky is blue, Kai Smith loved Nya Smith with every fiber in his body and she knows that if she were to go to the forge he would hold her and tell her that everything is alright.

Nya was definitely affected by him leaving. She’d never been far from him, at least not like this. He was always close by, they were always together so him not being around is off putting. She can’t simply pop into his room and bother him when she’s bored. She can’t go to him when she has problems with her feelings. She doesn’t get interrupted when she’s working on a project by a bowl of his famous soup being placed in her face. His absence was very clear in her life. But it was an absence of familiarity and love, because she and Kai had grown independent so long ago and were simply in each other's lives because it was nice to have each other, simply because they were family and loved each other.

She knew that for the others it was more of, Kai was an important part of their lives and now without him there, they were missing an important puzzle piece. But for her, it was more of, his puzzle complimented hers and not that they were a puzzle piece for each other. But yet, her shoulders were heavy and she often caught herself going to his room without thinking. Because she was affected so deeply by him leaving. Maybe not like the others, but she could feel it, like a raging sea even if the sea looks calm from the outside. Her brother left her, of course she was affected. But sometimes they wondered why she acted as though everything was alright.

But everything wasn't alright. Fighting against villains and robbers, hell, anyone was a lot harder now. Wu was harsher on their training and everyone was lost. All missing a part of themselves. She knew that Kai leaving would affect them. But seeing it is completely different then believing it. She didn't know what to do... this wasn't a puzzle that she knew how to solve, it wasn't a math problem that she could work on and find the right function that would give her and the other the answer they need.

She tried to go and visit Kai once. But Wu shut it down before she even finished the sentence. She questioned him on the letter and how he knew it came from Kai. But all she got back was that he knew for sure that it was Kai and it was best if we stayed away and gave him his space. That he knew best and to trust him. So she did. It didn't stop her from wondering if he was withholding something from her and the others.

She was in uncharted waters…

She didn't know how to brighten the other's days and to make them smile. She remembers being young, she remembers a kid had made fun of her dress, her style. She still has a hard time with clothes because of that boy... But when she got home with tears in her eyes, she remembers Kai being there for her. It's still one of her fondest memories, her and Kai had done all that she had wanted for the rest of the day, Kai had splurged and bought any food she wanted and spent the whole rest of the day with her instead of in the forge.

She remembers it so vividly because that's when she decided that she wanted to be the Kai of other's lives. She wanted to be the light on the other side of the tunnel that held your hand and made all your worries disappear and made you feel safe. The good in your life that made you want to improve and be better. The light that made you realise that it could get better and that not everything is bad.

That one instant in her life turned her into the woman that she is today. Strong, independent and kind. She always loved being a ninja or Samurai X, because it meant that she could help others, make them feel safe and ready to face the day with a smile on their face. Just like Kai had always done for her... (She definitely loved kicking ass to)

She misses Kai so much. Huddled on the floor, being held by Jay and in turn holding Lloyd, she knew that her brother loved her, she knew that she was loved and Kai had done an amazing job at proving it. Even if, as a kid, she had pissed him off and often went against his wishes. He had never made her feel small, un-important or unsafe. Because Kai was her home... Kai was kind, selfless and had a small ego. He was patient at times and impatient often. He was loud and brash but cool and collected.

He had his flaws, but he was still an amazing man. He was still the man that raised her and made her want to improve and be better. He was her role model and... and her hero. She would never admit it, but her brother was her hero ever since they were kids.

She could see Zane bowing his head and she knew that if he could cry that he would be doing so right now. He could see Cole staring off into space as though he is untethered from now. She could see Wu balancing and trying to meditate. She knew that Kai had endured, and done, and forgotten and lost so much for all of them. If, for once, he chose to do something for himself, then she couldn't truly blame him for leaving. She couldn't hold on to this anger and grief because there isn't anything to be angry and upset about (Ok, maybe she could be upset about the "no visiting and no letters").

Either way. It's about time that she pulled herself together and continued on as her brother... no it felt wrong... Her father. It was time that she continued on as her dad had taught her, she must continue on with her head held high and kindness and understanding in her heart. Just as Kai had always done, just as she had been taught to do.

Ok maybe it took a little longer than the others, but she slowly picked herself back up from the semi functional pit that she had created for herself. The pit had been barely functional, she had still done everything as normal, nothing in her life drastically changed or was altered, it’s simply that she took no joy in it, she couldn’t make herself put passion into anything. So to get out of it, she simply needed to remember that Kai loved her, that Kai is proud of her and would want her to do her best. He might not be here but she could still hold him as though he was.

And that's what carried her through it. She pulled herself out of her slump with a lot of encouragement from the others. The weight was still on her shoulders and yet she powered through it. She had days that were a lot harder than others. Where she only wanted to do the bare minimum. But they became few and far between as she slowly healed and reminded herself that Kai loved her, Kai was proud and would want her to stay strong!

Through all these years when she wanted to change something but was unsure, she would think of Kai. She isn’t very close to Lloyd? Well Kai would’ve told her to fix it, find what makes him happy and indulge him. She ended up getting told by the other boys that she had to stop talking about Kai around Lloyd. She feels bad that he hadn’t told her himself or that she hadn’t picked up on it. But it’s in the past now.

So, Nya worked on it. Any excuse to talk to Lloyd was a good excuse, anything that he wanted to say was worth dropping what she was doing. She wanted to make sure to get to know him better than she ever had Kai. Just so that she would know if he ever wanted to leave… They became truly like brother and sister now, they hung out and did sibling things that she and Kai had always done before. They were close now.

She was closer to the others as well! As much as Kai and Lloyd where her brothers, Zane and Cole were as well. She found something in common with each and she delved head first into getting to truly know them and forge a strong bond. She never wanted to be surprised by them leaving…

Life was difficult, she still cried over her dad. Sure she got letters from her real “parents” but they never mentioned Kai. He dropped off the face of the earth leaving her behind to fight without him at her side. She loved him, and she knew that he loved her and that’s all that truly mattered. One day they would meet again; she was sure of it. It might just take a truly long time.

She checked in with Wu almost once a month to see if he had news of Kai or a letter or just something to prove that he was alive or maybe even to say they could visit! But he never had anything! Always saying how she should focus on her training and getting stronger. Sometimes his nose was so far in a book that she didn’t even think he was in this realm or could hear her.

She kind of got suspicious of him. He was always in his room, reading maps and scrolls and old books. It was truly as though he was preparing for something and surprisingly she was the only one who had realized this. Sure the others saw that Master Wu was stressed and distracted, but had they noticed that he cracked down on their training? That he was reading the same scrolls and books over and over again? Or that he was back in contact with Misako?

Either way, she already had a lot on her plate seeing as she was still a ninja. Fights were getting easier again, slowly but surely they all improved and filled the gap that Kai left behind. They clearly wished he was still there to fight at their side, but it was getting easier and that's all that counted.

Kai wouldn't have truly wanted them not to contact him at all right? What if master Wu had lied...? But what if it's true? Could she truly risk visiting her dad and learning that he truly didn't want to see her? Could she handle the heartbreak? She doesn't think so... So she moves forward and hopes that their paths would collide once more.

She has Lloyd, Zane, Cole, Pixal and Jay at her side and they have her. They're all moving forward and healing, learning, growing closer and improving. Would it be easier with Kai? Absolutely. But if Kai is happy and living his best life. Then who is she to stop him? Who is she to wish him here instead of there?

Her hero might've retired, but he was still her hero and she would always look up to him. He gave up so much for her and had worked so hard to make sure she never lacked anything. Nya could've never asked for a better brother, father and hero.

But now times are getting difficult again. Master Wu left to go find a solution to another problem that he created many years ago. It came in the form of a very powerful and angry man. He popped up a few weeks ago and has caused chaos and true evil all over Ninjago. The problem is that his elemental power is, as he calls it, "The in-between'' he can turn himself and all his subordinates and weapons see through of sorts, they are still tangible and yet intangible at the same time.

Nothing they do can affect them! It simply passes through them as though they’re nothing, and yet the man can hit them! Their intangible swords can hit them as though it was a true sword. They hurt a lot! And yet they couldn’t do anything! Everything they tried didn’t work! Their powers were useless and they had no guidance from Wu.

The ninja are left to simply evacuate the innocent and do damage control. They're truly lost and worried. Master Wu told them that he had an idea but that it was dangerous and that he had to do it himself. He left a week ago and since then they've heard absolutely nothing from him! They're left doing damage control and hoping that the man would relent on his attacks.

Out of pure desperation, the team started searching Master Wu's room for any clues on where he went or what to do. So as Nya searched, a chest in the corner of his room caught her eye. She was left staring mouth gaping and with strangled cry's escaping her mouth at the contents. She felt her heart drop and yet a bunch of weight lifted from her shoulders, she could hear the cries and swears of her brothers and Ying as they looked over her shoulder at hundreds of letters, each dedicated to them… and all from, Kai...

Chapter Text

Wu knew that what he had done was wrong.

But he had no choice.

The ninja needed to be strong, he knew their next threat was coming and he knew that it would be their hardest. Kai not being there was going to make this so much worse, but the ninja had to be ready and it was best if they improved, still being in contact with Kai was only going to hold them back.

They needed to work on the holes that Kai left behind, there shouldn't even have been any holes, they should’ve been able to hold their own and be a team at the same time. Kai was the patch over the only hole that the ninja had, they forgot to watch their own backs. They forgot that just because Kai watched it, it doesn't mean that they shouldn't themselves. Many enemies went on to exploit said hole until they got it under control and learned to cover it.

He was ashamed that he had let them rely so much on Kai, he knew that Kai was going to leave, but he hoped that he would tough it out until they naturally patched it up themselves. He knows that he has failed them... He's grown too lenient with them. With good reason of course, they're adults now, he shouldn't have to remind them to train. Yet in his years they’re still babies…

He should've stayed their mentor and continued to push them. He's made many mistakes like this in his long lifetime, leading to many having come back and bit him or his family in the butt. He should've been there a lot more than he had been. Watching the ninja fall apart as Kai left made Wu wonder "If I left would anything change?". He watched as they all lost themselves for a year, and then built themselves up again without his help, he isn’t so sure much would change. He knows that they would miss him and mourn but not much would truly change. Clearly he hadn’t been very helpful the last few years…

Though he did help Cole. Cole clearly needed someone to talk to (so did Zane...) and it couldn't be his teammates. Him and Kai had come to a consensus. They had both felt safe with each other, both understanding the pressure placed on their shoulders and shared grief. The other ninja might’ve understood but not the way that Cole needed them too. If Cole had kept going without Wu's help, then he would’ve dug himself a hole or probably run away as Kai had. Losing one ninja was already too much, losing another in a little over a year would've been the end of the ninja.

Wu still needed them. Ninjago still needed them.

So Wu interfered. He helped Zane by making sure the others helped him. He made sure that Nya and Jay had projects to work on. He helped Cole with his problems and... well he didn't do much for Lloyd, but what could you expect? He had never truly been very good at helping Lloyd. Lloyd had very odd circumstances and he didn’t wish to take his brother's place as his father. This led to Wu not being very sure on what to do with Lloyd.

So Wu kept to himself. He meditated and trained the ninja when needed. Most of his time was looking into an old foe of his... he had a vision in smoke a few months after Kai left and hoped to have everything that the ninja would need before the foe even shows his face. It’s proving to be quite the challenge. It was a good excuse to stay in his room and away from his students.

Don’t get Wu wrong! He absolutely loves the ninja. He wants the best for them and wants them to heal and follow their own paths and simply be happy. But he's much too old to continue as he had done when they started. With everything they've been through he's aged so much and simply wishes to retire with his tea chop and relax. Alas, his past is continuously catching up to him.

And then there's the letters...

Kai's letters.

The first one he got was a month after he left. It was directed to Wu. "They're going to need your help. They might not need me, but they need someone and that has to be you. I will always be here if you need me, I might be abandoning the ninja life style but I'm not abandoning my family" It was longer than that of course, detailing about how he's at home and recuperating and having time with his parents before they leave for their big vacation, but that’s the important part.

Wu had to think hard over the letter. He thought of telling the ninja and bringing them to visit... But they were so hurt by this. If he brought them to visit, then they would try to convince Kai to come back. That would be awful for Kai... If he's anything like Wu knows him to be then he would give in and be miserable again.

No, it was best for everyone if they stayed apart. The ninja needed to heal without Kai and Kai needed to be away from all of this. Being in contact would make everything so difficult... So Wu sent Kai a letter. It wasn't his best choice (He’s made a lot of “not his best choice” ...).

"Kai, you've deeply hurt everyone. I believe it to be best if we all stayed away from each other. I and the others have decided that you're to stay away, don't visit and don't send anymore letters until we feel ready. We’re glad to know you're doing well.

Love

Wu"

He now regrets his choice. The cries of the others as he told them that Kai didn't wish for them to visit and to keep to themselves breaks his heart. He almost told them that he read the letter wrong. Yet he received the letters months before he told them that they couldn't visit. He had hoped that the ninja would assume that Kai wouldn't want them to visit and not wish to go themselves until many years later. But a few months after he received it, Nya wished to march down there and demand answers so he had to add on to his lie and tell them that Kai didn’t want them to visit.

"I received a letter from Kai, he doesn't want anyone to visit or to try and communicate with him."

It was quite the opposite. Kai had sent many, many letters after that. Wu made sure that they were sent straight to him so that no one knows of them. Wu didn't read them, not even the ones addressed to himself. Although the amount of letters he received a year, throughout the years, diminished, Kai still sent them to this day. It weighed heavy in Wu's heart but if they believed that Kai didn’t wish to see them then they were much more likely to actually stay away then if Wu simply told them they’re not allowed.

Kai had been pushed too far and too thin all those years ago. So Wu didn't wish to bother him anymore. Kai had needed time for himself, to find himself and relight his fire that had been sputtering and slowly going out for years now. He wishes he had pushed Morro to do the same.

He understood now, Kai and Morro both wished to be the best. They both wished to be the strongest and the green ninja. The difference is that Kai had a team and Morro didn't.

Unlike Morro, Kai had to place his jealousy and rage and all bad feelings aside. Unlike Morro, Kai had people around him that pushed him to be kind and to forget his jealousy and rage. Wu had truly failed Morro. If he had simply given him a new path to follow, or helped him heal after the devastation of not being the green ninja, maybe he would've turned out like Kai.

Maybe if Morro hadn't been pushed so hard. So roughly. Then he would've been able to find his identity in something other than the green ninja. But Wu had pushed him too hard and rough, so Morro grew up believing himself to be the best and strongest and he could be nothing less than. He became toxic and arrogant, pushing others away.

Maybe if Morro hadn't been so alone, then he would’ve found himself and would've been helped out of the wreck that was his feelings and state of mind. Maybe he could’ve turned out like Kai. Wu swore that he would never let it happen again, and so when he found Kai, he was worried. They were so alike that sometimes he almost called Kai, Morro. But Kai had been "better" then Morro. He still held jealousy but he beat it down day after day because he cared for his family.

Everything that Kai did was for his family.

For a long time, he only lived for Nya. For almost as long, everything he did was for the team. Wu was oftentimes confused on where Kai got such good big brother skills, then he remembers that he had to raise his sister and so Had to be a good big brother. He didn't have a choice, now it carries into everything that he did.

That's why, if he let the ninja visit Kai, he would've given in and come back.

So the ninja and Kai had to stay separate for their own good. It was partially true... he knew this. He could've pushed for Kai to not join and explained to his students that they can't push. He could've handled all of it much better... Wu had seen how much Kai wanted to leave for years now he could've made all of this easier and yet... Why didn’t he?

He was worried, Kai had left on good terms (Sort of) compared to himself and his own brother, and yet Wu had been scared that Kai might be found by someone bad and turned to their side. He didn't wish to put his safety in jeopardy, he didn't want him to end up like his brother, slowly losing his morals to a new teacher. Slowly giving up on family, it was best for Kai to be left alone with no one to interfere or find him through them. Or what if Kai grew resentful of them and turned to a darker side? Shure his own brother had been bitten by the snake, but it was clear that it wasn't simply the bite. Wu had been worried.

And now, Wu had seen this new foe coming for ages, the foe had been slowly growing his powers in hopes of revenge.

Revenge on Wu, just like so many before.

This man used to be one of Wu's greatest friends, but then they had a fight. His friend had gone too far, hoping to develop a way to share his powers and create an army with it. Wu had hoped to talk him out of it seeing as civilians shouldn't be brought into battles, they're to be protected and cared for, not given a weapon and told to fight.

Their fight developed and got more dangerous. Then his friend discovered how to share his power, Wu fought long and hard to convince his friend to stop and to leave the civilians out of it. Seeing his friend fall to the darkness that started to envelop him, Wu had no choice, Wu was left with no choice but to shatter his friend’s soul and disperse the pieces throughout Ninjago. Making it so that his power can’t pass on and the tragedy can’t be repeated.

Now his friend has built himself back up again, loyal followers having found the hidden pieces of his soul and uniting them over his foe’s original sword.

Wu has been searching for a way to fight this foe, for the last however many years. Wu's been lost in his library and in letters from Misako trying to figure out where an old man has hidden himself. This old man being his own, and the world’s, only hope to beat this foe. Misako had been a great help, sending him any scrolls talking about old man with answers or something magical and yet half of them were talking about Wu himself.

He hadn't been very present for the ninja lately and he knows that, but this is important and he doesn't wish to ruin their peace yet, so he had to keep this to himself. Late nights were spent researching realms and dimensions and all creations that his father has built and of which this old man could be avoiding the world in.

The only reason Wu was able to defeat his old friend the first time is because he had a special sword from the oldest blacksmith alive. He was able to create swords like Wu’s own father could, but he could infuse them with a power that let them touch and attack any form of “anything and nothing”. He’d called them "intangible blades". Wu’d lost his own many, many millennias ago and hadn't felt the need to look for it, until now.

But now this foe is back, and the only way that the ninja could fight and have a chance, is if he’s able to find the blacksmith and ask for new blades.

He set off with a map in hand and hope in heart, this was a dangerous journey that would be faster if he went on his own. Either way, someone had to protect Ninjago, his students would be fine, he has trained them well and they know to protect the people.

Chapter Text

He went home.

The flowers on the hill welcomed him, the breeze caressed his face and he couldn't be calmer. Out here, everything is peaceful, there aren't any snakes, ghosts, pirates or crazy princesses. There’s nothing but the breeze, bugs, flowers and the sound of the ocean.

He'd been planning to leave for quite a while, always having a bag prepared for after a mission, hoping that it'd be the last one and that he could leave after. Yet there was always something that came up and kept him from feeling ready to leave.

Kai hopes that Nya didn't believe he left because of her, it wasn't her fault. He was truly just tired and ready to go home. The fight just cemented his resolve, he had been hesitating, Nya just gave him the last push he needed to go through with it. She didn't need him anymore and it was best for everyone if he took a break (or quit). They didn't need him.

"Kai!" His mother stood in the door of the forge and his father was working away on a new weapon. She looked as lovely as the day he found them. Kai dropped his bag and ran for his mom. She didn't seem to mind the bone crushing hug that he lifted her into. His father patted him on the back, a wide smile on his face.

His mother looked behind him and past the mountain, probably looking for Nya. Kai hung his head and explained what happened with the ninja. His mother gave him another hug, then whipped the tears that were flowing out of his eyes against his wishes "You're always welcomed here firefly."

So he stayed at home. He helped his mother in the kitchen, he cleaned up his old room and hung up his new pictures. He helped around with the chores and spent his time catching up with his parents. Nights were spent on the roof staring at the stars. Most afternoons were spent watching his father in the forge and laying in the flowers.

It was amazing! And yet...

He dearly missed the others. His day's didn't feel empty per say, but simply as though he was missing something. He wasn't interrupted by Nya or Lloyd wanting his attention or help. He wasn't chatting with or watching Zane cook. He wasn't listening to the most bizarre and deep songs with Cole and he wasn't playing games with Jay. Oh he misses his sister so much! They used to be so close, then they joined the ninja and they slowly started drifting apart. He had called it too… He wishes he had tried harder to keep Nya at his side.

It felt like his days were missing some key parts. It was odd. But it was his new life and he had to accept that. His mother and father were a great help in making him comfortable and busy. Always sharing stories or asking him for his own. It was nice to get to know his parents. Sometimes he catches himself looking for Nya to see her reaction to curtain stories.

Kai couldn't help but think about the ninja and his old life. Did they miss him? Did they have any problems after he left? Did they replace him? He honestly couldn't tell. He sure misses them. He sure can't replace them.

Some nights he can't fall asleep, it doesn't help that he can't listen to his brothers’ breaths and make sure they all even out before closing his own eyes. He can't help Zane when he's having an identity crisis, does he still have them? Is there someone helping him?

During the day, sometimes he'll have the urge to go find Lloyd and drag him out to do something together. Then he remembers that he can't, does Lloyd have someone to talk to? Did he lock himself in his room?

What about Jay? Does he have someone to take out his anger on? Or is he just stewing in his anger and competitiveness and getting snippy with others? Kai misses playing with him, it was the best way to spend rainy days.

What about Cole? Did he listen to any new songs? Analyse them? Maybe he roped Zane or Lloyd into it... what about how he feels? Has he told anyone or is he keeping it in and drowning himself?

Maybe he shouldn’t have left...

No, they'll figure it out without him. They probably just indulged him before or something...

Kai's days were now spent trying to fill it in with anything that he could. He didn't have any hobbies, all his time was spent with his brothers and sister, so now he was left bored and spending his time with his parents. He didn't have any friends in Ignacia and Skylor was back in the city, he couldn’t just pop in and say hi (Though he did so quite a lot throughout the years).

So he was left lost and following his parents.

A month after Kai arrived and started to relax, his parents announced that they wished to go traveling all over the world. Kai had been confused. "What will happen to the shop?" His parents kind of just looked at each other and then looked at him. Kai caught on pretty quick.

"Oh, no no no, I can't even make a good sword! Not to mention there's like 20 duds in between. The shop will die and then-" His mother cut him off placing her hands on his shoulders. "We can teach you! Just like we would've done if we had the chance to be here for you." Kai went silent, working the shop was always a dream of his as a kid...

"You think I have a shot?" They sent him reassuring smiles and Kai never felt so sure in his life. Maybe his childhood dream could become a reality...

And so started his training, days and sometimes a few nights were spent in the forge, his own fire a tool to create anything that he wished. He controlled it effortlessly and he always felt stronger when wielding it. His dad taught him to use it as an extension, if the metal wasn't heating up evenly, he could control the flame and even it out himself.

It was amazing! The hammer sat in his hands like it was always supposed to be there. The heat that enveloped him felt like an old friend. He had finally found a new hobby! He was having fun and looking forward to the next time he could hop into the forge and continue his projects.

He wishes he could share this with the rest of his family.

His dad taught him well, Kai could easily pick up any concept or techniques that he was thrown at. His new found patience was a great helping hand in his new attempts at something he had tried to do so long ago.

He got a little worried that no one sent any letters. He assumed that they had been having problems adjusting to Kai not being there. Although he knows that his leaving probably didn't deeply affect anyone, he was still a gear in an intricate machine and his loss was going to affect "something".

Wu would probably be no help for the ninja. Kai knew the old man. He had a few screws come loose over the years and he skipped over things that to him seemed un-important. Or he would withhold information thinking it best for us not to worry. Yet this was not the time for it.

So Kai sent a letter. It was dedicated to Wu seeing as the others were probably angry with him and so didn't want to visit or send letters. He hopes he portrayed the team's need for Wu to step up, but he isn't so sure he succeeded...

Either way, he didn't receive a letter back from Wu for... quite a while. When he finally received one, he was left gapping at the paper, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. His parents had to pry the paper out of his hands and gently lead him back into the house. He hadn't been able to do anything for the rest of the week.

His own family thought it best if he didn't visit? That he didn't send any letters? He didn't know where he went wrong, he was sure that if he left for a little while then no one would truly care! Sure he knew that Nya might be a little put out since they've never been apart willingly for so long. But he didn't think that they wouldn't want letters or for him to visit!

Did he hurt his family that much?

This ended up delaying his parents' vacation. They stayed back to care for him and get him back on his feet. He made sure to learn everything that they threw at him. He poured all of his worries and anger and bad emotions into his craft and burned them off on his creations.

He quickly decided that, if he wasn't allowed to visit then he might as well send letters anyway. They might not be answered and might simply be burned as soon as they arrived at the monastery, but Kai had to try. He refused to give up on them so easily, they were his family for so long, he can't simply forget about them and send absolutely nothing!

So he wrote them letters, one for each ninja and then one for Wu. Nothing special of course, most of the letters were interests that he had shared with them. Zane had letters about recipes that Kai found and thought that Zane might want to try out. Jay got some cool invention ideas or new video games that Kai heard about. Cole received music ideas and some analysis that Kai had made on them.

Lloyd received cool facts about myth's Kai read about, he hoped that Lloyd wasn't keeping to himself and was trying to find stuff to do with the others. Nya received letters on stories and just his daily life around the forge. It was nothing special but Kai always felt closer to all of them when he wrote them letters.

Kai was left to run the forge alone. His parents left him to run the business as he had done oh so long ago. Except this time his blades and metal work was impeccable. He was just as good if not better than his father! He almost grew bored of it…

So Kai spent his free time out and about in the village with his friends. Friends that he earned himself through shared interest and not through ninja work. Not being all on his own is probably the only reason that he didn't lose his mind. Although Kai loved working at the forge, it got lonely and Kai was not someone who did well on his own.

He had always had someone with him, then he was always surrounded by the other ninja. Being on his own reminded him of how lonely it was without his family and just how much he missed them. He wishes he could introduce his new friends to his brothers, they'd get along great! Or introduce Nya to all the nice girls in town so that she can make some more friends as well!

He misses them so much...

Every time he felt alone he'd go hangout with his new friends.

He would visit Clementine and help her with her restaurant, it reminded him of helping Zane out in the kitchen and he would send the recipes he learned from Clementine to Zane so that they could try them out.

Next he had a few pub friends that loved karaoke and jamming out. They didn't like to analyze it like Cole did, but Kai would just do it at home (and sober) and then send the songs and analyses to Cole hoping to share them with him.

He had friends that loved sports and so would invite him to play frisbee and other fun games. They also happen to love talking about technical advancements and cool ideas. So Kai would always jump in and talk about Nya's and Jay inventions and creations. He sends all the ideas to Jay, hoping to fuel his never ending fire for inventions.

He had friends that loved to read and this led to Kai reading a lot of myths since he didn't really like fantasy. So as he had done for everyone else, he sent Lloyd the stories so that he might try them as well.

He's sure that he would've broken down long ago if he hadn't made so many friends. The forge was still bustling and he made decent income, enough that he had savings. It had surprised Kai, the fact that he was so good at being a blacksmith that people were willing to pay him to make costume swords and tools was amazing.

Not to mention that, unlike before, cleaning up the house was extremely easy. He only had his own mess to clean and he only had to do a deep clean once every few weeks. His life was peaceful.

If not a little repetitive (Except for the weapons) .

His parents came back a few months after having left. Kai wondered why, seeing as they had planned to explore for years. "We just don’t want you to grow bored." was his mother's explanation. So Kai took it at face value. He wouldn't mind having their company at the house.

"Kai, we believe it might be best if you left for a little while." He honestly thought that he was being kicked out initially. But his parents meant that they wanted him to explore just as they were doing. Kai didn't know where he would go, he couldn't visit the ninja or Skylor seeing as she was visiting her island (and had just visited her) and he had practically already been everywhere because of missions…

"I have a blacksmith friend that lives a few weeks away, why don't you go be his apprentice for a while?" his father suggested. Kai saw no reason to object, he loved learning new blacksmithing skills. So Kai packed his bags and left for a month. He learned quickly and efficiently, he might've had a hard time with it, but it was to be expected.

The blacksmith was chill, he taught Kai how to make really awesome handles. it wasn't really blacksmithing, but it was something new to try out. Handles had always been Kai's least favorite part of any weapon. But he grit his teeth and with all the patience that he learned over the years he got through it, slowly learning to love handle making, the wood in his hands was malleable and quite easy to carve, it was an easy way to distract himself and lose himself in an easy craft. He had fun.

Kai had continued to send letters during his apprenticeship, talking to all of them about his new skills and anything that came to mind of which he thought they might care about. Kai sometimes catches himself almost crying as he sends off the letters. He didn't know if they even received them, or opened them. The second they fell into the mailbox he hoped that he would get a response from one of the ninja.

It couldn't be helped, maybe they were busy.

He hoped they weren’t still mad at him, it had been quite a while since he left and he can't understand why he isn't allowed to visit or send letters. Did they truly want nothing to do with him anymore? After everything, just because he left, they chose to cut him off so harshly?

Well either way, his training came to an end and now Kai had double the amount of skills under his belt and his boredom had been washed away. So his parents left again. Kai was in charge of the forge again and he was out every night with close friends simply enjoying life as he had always wanted.

And so started a pattern. Kai and his parents took turns leaving and going on adventures. His parents were gone for a few months leaving Kai to run the shop, then Kai leaving for a month, maybe even a little shorter of a time, to go learn under a new blacksmith, over and over. He learned their technique, their craft in everything it entailed.

He learned from an old woman how to infuse gems and precious stones. From another, how to forge intent into a sword, and so much more. Each new blacksmith added something to his arsenal. This led to some customers coming back to him to see how he could improve their weapons. Kai was proud of himself.

He became one of the greatest blacksmiths in all of Ninjago over the years, important people came from all over the world to have a weapon made by him. He sometimes couldn't believe it, going from barely knowing anything and getting curved swords, to having the most sought out weapons that were each a work of art and deadly... It was like a dream.

Kai earned the name of the Dragon Smith.

He was well known and loved, he received invites to new blacksmiths all the time. Sometimes he couldn't choose and had to get his dad to pick. He always ended up postponing one and then going to both. He was learning so much! His craftsmanship was amazing and people wished to become His apprentice. He politely declined and always sent them towards the true masters.

Kai's most favorite pastime over the years became playing with the children in the village, many of them being his own friend's kids. His flower fields were always full of laughter and wonder. He would show off his elemental powers to the kids, his dragon and any tricks that he had learned. Sometimes he would wish for a child of his own, then remembered that he was never home for very long.

Well, that's until he had learned from all the blacksmiths that he could, then he finally settled down at the forge, relieving his parents of their stress over him. They finally left for good, sending him postcards of all the new places that they visited. They left the forge and the house in Kai's name, joking that if they came back that they would simply build a new home beside his. Kai can't wait!

Kai was happy. His days were calm, comfortable and full of life.

He deeply missed his brothers and sister. But he could do nothing but send letters. Letters of his travels, of his new accomplishments, recipes, games, music, myths. Of how well the forge is doing and anything that he is proud of. He longs for the day that he gets a letter back from them. He wishes to simply march over to the monastery and break down their doors demanding answers and yet he can't.

He has to respect their wishes. Clearly he hurt them deeply and now he has to deal with the consequences.

Even through all these years, he still loves them and mourns the loss of them from his life. Some days are harder and others he doesn’t even think about them. He still tells the children in the village all about their adventures and stories that Wu told them when they had first started their ninja journey. It was a kind way to look back on his past and reminds him of why he loves these people so much.

Now, so many years later, he still works in his forge. He could still smell his flower fields and the breeze caressed his face like all those years ago. It was a dark contrast to the heat of the blazing fire that he was using to warm up the blade of his new batch of swords. He was hunched over his anvil, planning out the design that he would etch into the sword. He was hoping that the customer didn't care what technique he used... He just wanted to do a simple one for once.

He controlled the fire as easily as he had always done. Fire ran in his veins; he had only gotten closer to his elemental powers throughout all these years. He couldn’t imagine doing what he does without his powers. It would've taken a lot longer to learn all the skills that's for sure.

He could hear kids running around in his fields. It was his turn to babysit the children of the village, but Clementine had said to send them over if anything happened. He's pretty sure that she simply wants some company, she gets quite lonely in her home kitchen now that she had given her business to her daughter.

Kai pulled out the blade from the fire. He started hitting it hard with his hammer, hoping to shape it quickly so that he could start the fun part. Then the fields went quiet. Kai, honestly, hadn't noticed too much, until the kids moved closer to the forge, making Kai look up as he placed the blade back into the fire.

"What's up Kiddos?" He asked, bending down to their heights. They each pointed out onto the path that led to his forge. Kai followed their pointing, out in the distance he could see a group of adults coming up the path. They were new to the village, he hadn't seen them around before. He couldn’t clearly make out their faces. Maybe they were new customers, he wasn't sure. But he would rather be safe than sorry.

"Alright, well, while I deal with these new people, why don't you guys run off to Clementine's? I heard she's gon’ na make some Cupcakes..." The children immediately ran off like rockets, yelling and fighting their way down the path and past the newcomers to hopefully be the first at Clementine's house. He gets some goodbyes and some hugs then is left to go back to his blades.

He wasn't too sure who could be coming on a Friday, usually new customers arrived on Wednesdays seeing as that's the day where he takes commissions. That means they either never heard of him (Which is quite unlikely), or were looking for some existing blades. Kai didn't have a lot of those, he wasn't sure he would have enough for all of them. He was already full of commissions and his-

"Kai...?"

That voice... Kai's head hurt from how fast it jerked up from his work. A little way's off, standing on the path and surrounded by flowers... was Nya.

He couldn't believe it. He stood there gapping for a few seconds, then his senses came back and he booked it out of the forge. Nya met him in the middle, kai could barely feel his arms with how tight Nya held him. He’s sure that she couldn’t breath with how hard he held her.

She was here! She was taller than him! What!

He looked over her shoulder and some little ways away was the rest of the team. They made their way over as Kai hugged his sister. He couldn't believe it! They're here! After so, so many years they're finally here again. Warm arms encircled him and he felt completely whole. Everyone has changed so much over the years. He’s sure that he did as well.

"Hey guys" He almost whispered it but he's sure they all heard him. All anger or resentment that might have bloomed over the years, shriveled up and died. He loved these people way too much to be angry. He's sure that Lloyd and Jay were crying, Nya probably had a few tears in her eyes as well. He could barely hold back his own.

"You guys finally forgive me?" At this everyone took a step back, giving him room to breathe. Their faces were all puzzled, and Jay let out a small "What?". This confused Kai a little. Did they forget their own letter?

"Well in the one and only letter Wu ever sent me, it said that you guys were deeply hurt and wanted me to stay away until you were ready?" Kai turned around and led the team towards his forge, many gasps and outraged cries followed him. He had to take the blade out of the fire before it melted completely because he's too overwhelmed to keep the heat steady.

"What're you talking about? We never said that." Lloyd said, he sounded sure. Kai stopped in his tracks. "What?!" Kai turned around and faced them. He knew he was losing grip of the fire in the forge, but what did he just hear?

"But that's what Wu said in his letter all those years ago?" All the ninja shook their heads and then Nya said "Wu sent you a letter? He said that you didn't want any contact with us and that you didn't want us to send letters..." She looked so hurt, Kai wanted to find master Wu and strangle him! Who was he to put words into Kai's mouth? Kai clearly stated that he was still here for them and that they should reach out if they ever needed anything!

" I never said that. I swear it guys. Hell, I even expressly told him not to hesitate to reach out for help." Kai finally pulled the blade out of the forge, he wasn't surprised to see it melted and drooping onto his floor. Whelp, he's going to have to restart this blade from scratch. He squashes it in his hands channeling all his anger into the metal, hoping to calm down.

" I got a letter a week later telling me not to send letters or to visit. I didn't listen to the letters part, of course, I sent you guys hundreds over the years." Kai set down the metal on his anvil then moved over to his stool and sat down facing his family “I always thought that you guys burned them or just simply didn't open them." Everyone looked at him, rage on their faces, it caught him by surprise.

"We never received any of your letters! Wu took them all and hid them!" Lloyd was now shaking in anger, Kai stood up and walked over to place a hand on his shoulder. Lloyd then took some deep breaths. He honestly should've seen that coming. Wu always thought he knew what was best, not realising that there were other answers. Kai let out a sigh.

"Wu always thinks he knows best. He probably thought it best if we stayed apart for one reason or another." Kai let go of Lloyd and moved to grab some more stools. It was a nice day out; he didn't really want to go back inside yet. "So, how’ you guys been?" He flashed them all a smile, prompting them to tell him stories.

It was everything that he remembered it to be. They each took turns telling him stories of adventures and developments. Everyone was laughing and smiling, it's like it used to be, as if no time had passed. His sister sat closer than needed, but he didn't mind. Lloyd was sitting on his other side, their shoulders bumping anytime one of them laughed.

He'd missed this.

They each looked so much older. Mature. Nya’s hair was kept short as she always had, but the color was streaked with gray. She was now taller than Kai, which is odd since she should’ve been done growing, what happened? Lloyd was taller as well, he held himself confidently, he looked like a man. Square shoulders and stubble on his chin.

Cole and Jay simply looked buffer, there was of course some gray in their hairs and many many more smile lines on their faces. Zane seemed to have not changed one bit. He might be the only one that didn’t really change.

It was odd to see them all grown up and not having been there for it. He misses having them around.

Although he had made new friends over the years, none of them were as close to him as the ones sitting around him right now. None of his “new” friends could understand his ninja stories or his struggles. None of them knew his past and why he refuses to bash the ninja. None of them could make him laugh as easily as these guys.

"Kai, where's… mom and pops?" she said their names hesitantly. It's understandable seeing as she doesn't truly know them, they're more like strangers to her than parents. "They're out exploring. They've been doing so for years now; they visit once in a while but not so frequently anymore since I finished all my blacksmith apprenticeships."

"Apprenticeship?" Everyone looked at him intrigued. "Ya, apprenticeships." Kai made sure to put emphasis on the plural then stood up and everyone watched as he reached for the goop of cooled metal on his anvil. Might as well give them a show and maybe show off a little. He picked it up and his fire took control of its temperature. Melting it enough that he could start molding it into the right shape, he had to get this done today because the customers were coming in the next morning.

"After learning everything from dad, I grew bored of running the shop. So they came back after having left for a while, dad told me he got me an apprenticeship with an old friend. From there every time they came back to check in, I would leave for another apprenticeship. I've lost count of how many I've done over the years." Kai chuckled a little. He finished molding it as best as he could and then placed it back into the forge, hoping to let it warm up.

From there he took all that he learned and showed off to the others. The sword quickly formed under his command, he imprinted all that was needed into the sword, words of strengthening were placed onto the hilt. Gems that he picked out were placed strategically, it was a conduit for the user’s magic. Next he fastened the handle that had been ready for hours. He finished off by adding his Blacksmith signature, then proudly held it up for the others to see.

“Let’s just say that with everything I’ve learned, I’m one of the most sought out blacksmiths in Ninjago. What’cha think?” Kai smiled brightly, blade in hand he felt in his zone. This was the life he had created for himself, this is what he loved and what kept his family a float. The blade glistened in his hands, it wasn’t his best, it was one of the standard weapons that he did, but it was a work of art in itself. Carvings went up the blade and the handle was carved and of the most beautiful blue. Gems were strewed on as conduits for the mage that ordered it.

“Woah…”

It took a second for them to buffer.

Kai was grinning ear to ear, he was proud of himself.

He gently placed the sword in a sheath and mounted it on his wall of finished swords. He took back his place on his stool and looked at his family. The sun was slowly setting now, he’s surprised no one interrupted his work. He thought that they might have questions for him.

“Holy shit! Dude, that was awesome!” Of course Jay popped up first. He was always quick to praise.

“Thanks man.” Kai rubbed the back of his neck. They all talked more about what he’s been up to until…

“Kai, we have a problem-” Nya looked out to the setting sun. Kai’s stomach opened up like a pit. The ninja explained to him what was going on with the intangible army. That foe seemed like quite a hard one. “- So we came to you for help.” She hung her head and Kai simply swung an arm over her shoulder in reassurance then got up. All their faces fell, they probably thought he was leaving them, he almost felt bad.

Kai pushed out of their circle and headed for the wall of his most precious weapons. He had made these when he was done with all his apprenticeships and had finally settled down. He took everything that he learned over the years and he means every single one, not like the one he just did. The one he just finished was the best for what the customer paid for. These ones had everything, how to strengthen a blade, gems, magical handles, everything. Even certain teachings from the oldest blacksmiths in the world. All for if one day his family needed him.

And now they did.

“I made these years ago, they’re my greatest creations. Everything I learned throughout the years is placed in every single one of these weapons.” Kai observed them. The scythe as black as the abyss, littered with magma and precious gems. Nun-chucks as blue as the sky itself, lapis and everything he could find melted in there. Shurikens as white as snow, so fast that he had to make them twice since he lost the first set before he could finish them because he tried them out. Daggers as deep blue as the raging sea, swift and ever flowing like a river. Then a katana, deep green that shines gold with the right angles.

He saw them eyeing them as they walked over in the blades.

“The blacksmith called them intangible blades, I call them… Yours.” Kai turned around to his family. They looked aw struck, they had stood to be right behind Kai in the perfect line. One by one Kai took his most precious weapons and gave them to their rightful owners. Cole with his scythe, Jay with the nun-chucks, Zane with his shurikens, Nya with her daggers (Just like when she was young) and then Lloyd, he hadn’t known what to make him at first, but he figured it was only right for Lloyd to get a katana.

As he handed them over, each one of the weapons reacted to the ninja’s touch. They lit up and flashed from tangible to intangible a few times and then finally rested on tangible, glowing the signature color of each ninja. Nya didn’t hesitate before jumping into Kai’s arms. “Thank you so much! These are amazing Kai.” Right for the heart strings. Oh he missed Nya so, so much.

“I’m glad you like them. I knew one day we would see each other again. Even if you didn’t need me, I knew I wanted to help however I could.” He was then once more encased in a big hug. “We need to talk about so, so much.” Says Nya, backed up by all her brothers. Finally letting go, they knew that the dangerous man got more active at night, it was time that he finally got taken down. All the ninja nodded at each other, placing their new weapons back in their sheaths and setting it on the perfect place for movement.

“Let’s get rid of this annoying old man and his stupid army.”

And then Kai watched as they started running out of his forge and back up the path. Nya noticed him not following and stopped telling the others to wait. She shot Kai a confused look and then waved him on. Kai just smiled sadly at her. They all walked back to the forge, Kai looked over at his home, inside the lights were on and the ninja could see three silhouettes in the house. 2 of which looked like kids, and the other around their age.

“Kai?” Nya held out her hand, kai took it and squeezed then let go. “I can’t come with you guys. I… I haven’t been a ninja in years, first of all.” Kai was talking slowly, carefully. “Second, I have a family, I have two lovely kids that count on me and that are still young, I can’t risk leaving them behind if something were to happen.” The silence was palpable. “Not to mention that I’m married and the only source of income.” Kai smiled gently at them.

“What!” It resonated throughout the field, he could almost feel the vibrations.

“Kai! Are you ok out there!” Whoops, maybe a little too loud.

“I’m fine love! Big news that’s all, I’ll be in soon!” He yelled through the door.

“Look, how about, you guys go save the world, then you come back here and I’ll introduce you guys to my family? They would love to meet you.” Kai started pushing them out and back up the road. The sun was almost set; it was best if they destroyed the old man now rather than later. Nya then turned around again, hugging him one last time.

“You got it… Dad.” And then they were off. Kai stood shocked.

Huh, he never thought he’d hear that coming from Nya. He always believed that Nya only saw him as a brother. Throughout the years he always had to push down the urge to tell his parents off for talking about Nya as though she was their daughter, the rage that would fill him always dissipated just as quick, he had to remind himself that she was simply his sister, nothing more and nothing less.

Maybe… just maybe he had been right to believe her his daughter, maybe raising her truly did change the dynamic.

“Kai! Food’s getting cold!” Well, he could have a crisis later. He could talk about it with Nya later, right now he had to spend time with his kids and Love.

“Coming Honey!” What a day, what a life, what a family. His family.