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There was a distinct lack of things to do in the warehouse they were stuck in. Mischa’s phone never lost any battery, permanently staying at 53%, but as he so eloquently stated that he ‘can’t get no WiFi up in this bitch,’ its use was limited to scrolling through saved memes and pictures of Talia in his camera roll. They found some old carnival games, but their novelty quickly wore off after a couple rounds. Searching for an exit was a venture that was quickly left abandoned due to a lack of findings. And so, with nothing better to do, Ocean had taken to cleaning up a large area in an effort to make a comfortable community space, an endeavor that everyone else, eager to fill their time, came to join in on.
It had been awkward, at first, interacting with them. Ocean had to make an effort to not boss anyone around, and instead politely asked them to carry out tasks. She felt as though everyone was tense around her, like they were afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and setting off a bomb. This feeling was confirmed when Constance accidentally walked through a pile of dust and litter that Ocean had meticulously swept up. Before Ocean could even react, Constance quickly apologized. The two had stared at each other for a long moment before Ocean had told her that it was alright, and went back to sweeping. She could feel Constance giving her a strange look.
When Ocean wasn’t cleaning, she was aimlessly wandering deeper and deeper into the warehouse. Many times she found herself without a clue as to where she was or how long she had been gone. The first couple times she found herself lost, Ocean had freaked out. But then she learned to not panic, because Jane would always find her.
Sometimes Ocean would let Jane take her back immediately, other times she just stared despondently at her, not quite ready to be around more people. It was then when Jane would continuously talk to her, for however long it took for Ocean to feel better.
Ocean took great interest in the seemingly endless amount of strange animal facts Jane knew. They had been unnerving at first, as she often shared them at inappropriate times, but Ocean now took a certain fascination in them. Listening to Jane’s harmonious voice drone on about the various wonders and oddities of the animal kingdom greatly helped in easing the fear and anxiety that riddled her mind. And in return, Ocean would allow Jane to hold her close, happy to be a source of heat for the frigid girl. These moments soon became her favorites, and it was one of these moments that she was enjoying now.
Jane sat with her back to a large storage container, legs stretched in front of her, and her arms wrapped around the waist of Ocean, who was perched on her lap.
When Ocean had been found by Jane a short while ago, she was immediately taken by the hand and led away to find someplace to sit. She guessed that something about her expression must have given away that her mind was plagued with foul emotions. Jane had quickly launched into telling her onslaught of fun facts, not stopping until she got a response from Ocean.
“…and though many people fear the sting of bees, the true horror lies in their swarming ability. Killer bees swarm in large numbers, targeting the eyes, mouth, and ears,” Jane finished.
Ocean shuddered. “Well, at least there’s one benefit to being dead. Don’t have to worry about killer bees.”
“I’m not sure you’d have to worry about them if you were still alive,” Jane replied. “The chances of you getting in this situation are low.”
“Still.”
Ocean started playing with the cuffs of her sleeves, her activeness a sign that her mood had improved. Jane took a deep breath and leaned forward, resting her head on her shoulder. In response, Ocean leaned back, allowing her cheek to lightly graze Jane’s.
“Your turn,” Jane announced. Her choice of words and sonorous tone reminiscent of what she had said before singing her ballad.
Ocean hummed. “My what?”
“I’ve talked plenty about the things I recall. Now, I would like to listen to you speak.”
“What do you want me to talk about?”
Jane took a small moment, head tilting slightly. “You. Your life.”
Ocean’s body stiffened. “I’m not as proud of my life as I used to be. I mean, I’m sure you can guess how I acted, and Karnak told everyone about… my parents.” She began picking at the skin around her fingers, an action quickly stopped by Jane taking her hands in her own.
“It couldn’t all have been bad,” Jane insisted, lightly rubbing Ocean’s hands with her thumbs. It was nice how natural these kinds of touches were beginning to feel.
“Maybe.”
Ocean closed her eyes and scoured her brain for a memory in which she was genuinely happy. She definitely wouldn’t find many in her last years. As soon she hit secondary school, she became obsessed with grades and extracurriculars, hoping to one day get accepted into a prestigious university and leave Uranium City behind.
This led to her become irritable with her peers and any of their attempts to spend time with her. The last time Ocean let herself be relaxed and happy was probably in her earlier middle school years, back when her and Constance were inseparable.
A smile graced Ocean’s lips. “Constance walked up to me and declared that we were friends in grade one. She was so friendly and kind, I couldn’t say no. She would always invite me to her family’s café after school. Every time, her parents were so happy to see me, they even gave me free pastries and drinks. And her little brother, gosh, he was the cutest. He definitely took after his sister, being so outgoing and excitedly talking to everyone he met. It made me wish I had a younger sibling.” Her thoughts turned to her parents, and her smile fell. “Definitely best that I didn’t, though.”
Jane gave her hands a squeeze.
“Those café trips changed when we got older,” Ocean continued. “Constance got quieter. I guess that was because I was always talking over her. And when I wasn’t, I was always belittling the things she said. I had such big dreams for my future that I completely forgot the present was still important, and I ended up being a pretty crappy friend because of it.” She laughed a little. “And now those dreams are completely meaningless. A waste of the time I could’ve spent being happy with Constance.”
Ocean swallowed. “I’m going to be better to her,” she resolved.
“I know,” Jane assured, bumping her head lightly against Ocean’s.
Her thoughts turned to her relationships with the other choir members. She had many regrets about how she treated them. She should’ve been more sympathetic towards Mischa’s situation, realized that his anger came from a justified source. She shouldn’t have argued with Noel at every possible moment, and instead should have paid more attention to his interesting passions. She should have put more effort into communicating with Ricky, instead of assuming that she knew what he wanted. Her thoughts stopped when they reached the very girl she was sitting with.
Rotating her head, Ocean pressed her face into the side of Jane’s neck.
“I wish I could remember you,” Ocean whispered.
Jane took a deep breath. “I wish I could remember you, too,” she murmured.
Ocean frowned a little. “I don’t think you actually want that.”
“I do. I want to know what you were actually like, not how you think you were.” One of Jane’s hands trailed up Ocean’s are, resting just below she shoulder. “They don’t hate you, you know? Our friends. They still want to talk to you. You must have done some things right.”
“Maybe.”
Ocean reached her free hand up to hold the other side of Jane’s face. “Still wish I had you when I was alive. I’m sure you were just as great as you are now.”
Jane pulled her the slightest bit closer. “You have me now. And for the rest of eternity.”
Ocean just smiled and closed her eyes, a warmth growing in her chest.
“I’m glad.”