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Fabian, being the best sword fighter in the kingdom, was offended by being assigned a bodyguard. He was even more offended that his bodyguard was a scrawny little rogue goblin that's all elbows and no older than him. His "bodyguard," who was introduced by a name he was determined to forget, was holding his clawed hand out expectantly.
"Uh, little man," he said, gingerly pushing the hand away from him with equal parts confusion and disgust. "I have no intention of having you as a bodyguard. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. So, uh. Dismissed. Go." The goblin drew back his hand but stayed firmly planted in front of him. He opened his mouth to retort, but a booming voice cut him off.
"Of course you can, my darling boy!" Bill Seacaster, King of The Sea (King of a small coastal kingdom called Bastonia) and father to Fabian, spoke in permanent shout and clapped Fabian on the shoulders so hard it came with a DC 15 strength check to not fall flat on his face.
"But you've got to have some backup, son! A witness to yer greatness! A sacrifice to yer enemies! An extra sword on yer belt! Besides, this is a direct decree by me as king, which is apparently something I can do, so you've got to, my boy, or I'll cut yer fuckin stomach out and feed it to yer mother!" He grinned widely, showing off his many missing teeth, and Fabian's fear of his father greatly outweighed his own pride. Begrudgingly, Fabian nodded to his new bodyguard, who was looking very concerned about some of what King Seacaster had just said.
"Fine," he sighed. "You, goblin, are my new. . . bodyguard." He forced the word out with effort, still appalled at the idea of having someone follow him around and "protect" him. The goblin looked unfazed by his attitude, as his tail began to twitch excitedly. Gods, Fabian thought to himself, annoyed. This guy's gonna be one of those royal suckups, isn't he?
"Thank you, sir, it will be a pleasure and an honor to serve you," he recited, bowing, before sharply adding, "And my name is Riz. Riz Gukgak. I am not just a goblin." The words were sharp and reprimanding, a tone hardly ever used with the crown prince of any kingdom, but Fabian could not help but feel a little ashamed. He quickly recognized that the tail twitch was not excited, but irritated. A blush crept across Fabian's face.
"A-herm. Uh. Right. I, uh, never meant to- that is, I hold no, uhm-" he floundered, trying to correct his error - something, he realizes, that he has never done before. He decided that he didn't like having a bodyguard, not if it meant he had to start apologising. It wasn't a good look on him.
. . .
Sklonda shook Riz awake from where he was passed out at the table.
"Riz! Riz, bud, big news!" She said, waving some parchment excitedly in front of Riz's face. He snagged it out of reflex, cracking a big yawn.
"What big news? Someone's flock got stolen again?" He grumbled, blinking the sleep from his eyes. Sklonda had not let go of him, her claws digging slightly into his shoulder.
"Bigger than a little village case, kiddo! You got in!" She swatted the parchment in his hand, which he now recognized as a royal invitation. "You're the new bodyguard for the crown prince of the Seacaster family!" Riz sprang from the chair he was slumped in, sending papers flying. He quickly read the letter in his hand, taking in every word. His rogue abilities were the finest they could find. His long distance combat was the most precise of all the candidates. His size was perfect for the role of a covert bodyguard. He was to be accepted effective immediately. Holy shit.
"HOLY SHIT!" he yelled. "MOM, HOLY SHIT!" Sklonda laughed, a rare, full belly laugh, and scooped her son up in her arms.
"Oh, kiddo, I'm so proud of you!" She crooned, smiling wide. "Your dad would be so proud, hon." They hugged and twirled around a moment longer, and Riz clambered out of his mother's grip and began gathering his belongings. Sklonda got teary eyed and Riz tried (and failed) to console her, promising he'd be safe and visit often and I know I don't have to send money back but I want to, and before either of them knew it, he was gone.
Riz was born and raised in Elmsville, a fairly large village near the Castle of Seacaster. It was average as far as villages go, but due to its proximity to the castle, it was more urbanized and modern than most other villages. Artificers, potion makers, blacksmiths, and artisans flocked to the village to sell their goods to the royal family and any heavy pocketed visitors of the King, and so there was a significant technological boom in the village. All this is to say that Riz Gukgak was one of the few proud owners of an arquebus, a fearsome weapon inherited from his father, which made them both exponentially more fearsome beings. Due to his unique possession and prowess in the use of an arquebus, he quickly rose to the top of the list of consideration for the Crown Prince's personal bodyguard. The prejudice around goblins still existed, and his young age added another factor of difficulty, but he was three levels higher than any other candidate and already had a reputation for being ruthless in battle. So, against all odds, a little goblin boy showed up to the palace to take on one of the most important and dangerous positions available.
And to Riz's great disappointment, his employer was a prick.
Fabian Amramais Seacaster had a dazzling image, as was expected from the sole son of the ruthless pirate king and gorgeous elven queen of Baronia. He was a skilled fighter and an excellent showman, a charming personality and, of course, a very handsome man. Practically the entire kingdom adored him, Riz included.
Of course, there's that old saying about never meeting your heroes.
Riz, sweaty palmed and shaky, stood with his hand extended toward Fabian, offering a handshake. They stood staring at each other, equally confused, before Fabian spoke.
"Uh, little man," he said, pushing the extended hand aside, and Riz worried quietly if he felt the sweat on his hand and if he would think he wasn’t cool, which, woah, not the thing to worry about right now. "I have no intention of having you as a bodyguard. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. So, uh. Dismissed. Go." Riz’s stomach dropped. He worked so hard to get here. He was not about to be sent all the way back home because of this guy's massive ego. He was about to say as much before the King spoke, slapping Fabian on the back with arguably excessive force. Maybe that’s just how dads are?
"Of course you can, my darling boy!” The massive man shouted, forcing Riz’s ears to draw close to his skull automatically. Maybe he didn’t want this job after all. “But you've got to have some backup, son! A witness to yer greatness! A sacrifice to yer enemies! An extra sword on yer belt! Besides, this is a direct decree by me as king, which is apparently something I can do, so you've got to, my boy, or I'll cut yer fuckin stomach out and feed it to yer mother!" Riz was definitely rethinking accepting this position. Exorbitant pay and incredible housing were quickly becoming outweighed by the growing fear of this unhinged man. Fabian, however, was unfazed by the violent threats of his father.
"Fine," he sighed. "You, goblin, are my new. . . bodyguard." Riz felt his hair rise and his tail twitch. Gods, Fabian really was a close minded bastard up close, wasn’t he? Gritting his teeth, he bowed.
"Thank you, sir, it will be a pleasure and an honor to serve you," he recited. Without thinking, he sharply added, "And my name is Riz. Riz Gukgak. I am not just a goblin." Before he could realize what he just said to the Crown Prince and plead for his life, Fabian began to sputter.
"A-herm. Uh. Right. I, uh, never meant to- that is, I hold no, uhm-" he floundered. Riz stole a glance at his face, and to his surprise, he found Fabian to be blushing a dark brown. He quietly decided that he liked being a bodyguard if it meant he could make Fabian blush. It looked good on him.
. . .
Riz’s first week on the job was. Interesting.
Fabian did not like Riz. He was very used to having his own space and privacy, and having an armed shadow trained to eliminate any risk he encountered, very simply, cramped his style. Fabian was independent, took care of himself. He didn’t need protection from anyone else, for no one else could possibly protect him as well as he could protect himself.
It was even worse that his bodyguard was so goddamn annoying.
“Sir,” Riz said, padding quickly behind him down the hall. Fabian was heading to the training field to attend his swordsman lesson, which Riz got oddly excited about. “Would you mind if I joined you? It would be really good if we got to know each other better, got a feel for each other’s fighting styles, y’know. I mean, I know your fighting style pretty well, ‘cause you’re, y’know, the prince, everyone knows your style, it’s impeccable, but, I mean-”
“Please, Gods, be quiet for just a moment,” Fabian groaned, dragging his hand across his face. “Fine, you may train with me, but you will be using a sword, not that. Y'know. Shooty thingy you have.” Riz’s face lit up, a toothy smile spread across his face. Fabian huffed and quickened his pace. If this nerd wants to train with me so bad, he’ll have to work for it.
The field was empty except for his trainer and assistant, as it always was for his lessons. The field was on the west side of the castle near the cliffs overlooking the sea, grass long since trampled by years of training and battle on the single patch of land. The wall of the castle it joined with was lined with sheds of armor and weapons, both training and battle grade. His assistant and head knight, Gorgug, had his armor and sword ready.
“Gorgug, nice to see you,” He nodded at the half-orc, who nodded shyly back.
“You too, Fabian,” he said, pleasantly. For a hulking half-orc that bore the obvious weaponry of a barbarian, he was a very even-tempered and kind man, which Fabian really liked about him. He noticed Riz’s uneasiness in the open, unfamiliar field and sighed.
“Come on then, get some armor on,” he said, gesturing to the shed. “Gorgug here will help you.” Riz nodded and slinked over warily to Gorgug. He didn’t need to be so nervous. This was a private training field only occupied by three members of the royal staff. Gorgug was saying something to Riz, to which he didn’t pay too much mind and instead attended to putting on his armor and tending to his sword. Finally, Riz was adequately armored and armed, but when Fabian saw him, he burst into laughter.
“You look ridiculous!” He laughed. “You look like a ball!” Riz, bundled up in ill-fitting medium sized armor, cringed from deep inside a comically large helmet. He did appear rather round, as the armor hardly even touched his frame and instead puffed out to the sides.
“Okay, okay,” he said, muffled by the helmet. “Let’s just get started.” Fabian took a long moment to stop laughing, and began his routine with his trainer, a muscled human named Daybreak. Riz, awkward and heavy, tried his best to follow his movements, but wound up failing the strength DC for simply moving around in armor. Fabian took the opportunity to use his fallen bodyguard as an extra object interaction, lifting him into the air with his foot and kicking him at his trainer as a makeshift projectile.
“Haha! You really are a ball!” He cried, surprised how easy it was to toss his bodyguard around. Riz, struggling to get up from his prone position, called back,
“I guess, technically, I was a ball this time, but this won’t be a common thing!”
“Oh, it definitely will be.”
“It won’t!”
. . .
Training was. Terrible.
Riz wanted to impress Fabian, wanted to show him that he could be cool and worthy of being his bodyguard. Training with him would allow him to show off his rad as hell moves, right? He was pretty good at using a shortsword, he was small and nimble, he could dodge and parry and grapple.
‘Course, he never considered that he’d have to wear a full suit of medium sized armor that weighed more than he did.
When they arrived at the training field, Riz immediately became on edge. There was no underbrush, no trees, no large stones, or even dips or raises in the ground. It was completely open, providing no area for cover or stealth. The castle wall allowed for attackers from above and the sheer cliffs were not a safe means of escape. Riz was fully out of his element, and any confidence in his abilities was immediately drained. Fabian seemed to notice his discomfort and sent him to his assistant, a massive half orc named Gorgug, who despite his size and weaponry, was gentle and soft spoken.
“Hey man, I’m Gorgug,” he said, extending his hand. Riz gladly shook it.
“Riz Gukgak. Private bodyguard,” He said, voice too high and hands too sweaty. His eyes were still scanning for any kind of cover, and the feeling of a very large hand resting on his shoulder snapped his gaze back to Gorgug.
“Hey, dude, don’t sweat it,” he mumbled, as if to avoid Fabian’s overhearing. “You’re safe here. And he can be a bit of a jerk at first, but he’ll grow on you. He’s actually a real softie.” He smiled reassuringly, his tusks peeking out from his lower jaw. Riz warily returned the smile, thoughts now racing trying to imagine Fabian being a “big softie.”
“Aight, let’s get you some armor,” Gorgug continued. He opened up a shed behind him, dug around for a moment, and hummed curiously.
“Uh. What size are you, Riz?” He asked, turning his head around to roughly judge how big he was. Riz shuffled his feet a little under his eye.
“I’m small. Goblin,” he muttered. Gorgug nodded, dug around a little more, and pulled out a set of armor that was definitely not goblin sized.
“Okay, so we don’t have any goblin armor - super sorry - but this is the smallest suit we have, so maybe if we cinch it up a bit, it’ll fit you,” he said, offering a shy, crooked smile. Riz just nodded, deciding to wallow in insecurity later and try to focus on how the hell he was gonna fight in a full suit of armor.
As it turns out, he cannot fight in a full suit of armor.
Aftering being called a ball and getting kicked around and failing an embarrassingly low strength check, Riz felt well and truly defeated. The rest of the day was incessant teasing and the unfortunate birth of his new nickname, "The Ball." That evening, Riz retired to the library for some quiet. It was a massive building with tall vaulted ceilings and towering shelves, filled with rotting tomes and ancient books. Not particularly interested in reading, he wandered about, taking inventory of the layout and genres, enjoying the dark, winding rows of tall shelves.
“May I help you?” A cool voice cut through the silence, causing Riz to jump and draw his gun. His eyes darted around and found nothing.
“I’m not here to cause trouble,” he called out. His stance widened and the grip on his gun tightened. He wouldn’t start trouble, sure, but he’d not hesitate to finish it.
“Then why are you armed?” The voice asked. It sounded. . . nervous?
“I’m the bodyguard of the Prince, I have to be armed,” he called out. “I- uh, don’t know if you’re a threat or not. I’m- I’m not paranoid, per se, I’m just- I’m cautious, so. Gun.” He gestures vaguely to his weapon, opening his stance warily. “Uh, I can leave if I’m. Bothering you?” The voice cried out.
“No!” A woman appeared, hands slightly outstretched. She was a tall elven woman with flax blonde hair and a strange blue robe. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to scare you away, I just. I don’t get many visitors. Not a family of letters, the King says.” She wrung her hands nervously and offered a small smile. Riz carefully holstered his arcubis, relaxing at recognizable mannerisms. He outstretched his hand to the woman.
“Hi. Riz Gukgak, private bodyguard.” The woman eagerly took his hand.
“Adaine Abernant. Librarian and oracle.” They shook hands and regarded each other with a sense of familiarity.
“So you’re the new bodyguard for Fabian, huh?” She said. “I pity you. The man is a self centered prick.” Riz laughed despite himself, caught completely off guard by her bluntness.
“He’s not that bad,” he said, unable to stop defending him. “He’s really talented, he’s got a right to be proud of that.” Adaine rolled her eyes.
“Gods, don’t say that to his face, his head will blow up so big he’ll float away," she scoffed. "You can drop the act with the staff, y'know. We all know he's a little bitch." Defensiveness rose up in his chest, but he decided to not press it. This was the second staff member to acknowledge Fabian's unsavory demeanor. Maybe he really wasn't such a good guy after all.
"Can I get you some tea? We're not supposed to eat in here, but it's not like the librarian is gonna yell at us," she said, gesturing towards a doorway. Soft yellow light glowed from underneath the door, and the smell of black tea grew stronger the closer they came. Adaine opened the door and revealed a small office that appeared to have unintentionally been converted into a living space. Books lined the walls on hand built shelves, and several robes were hung up by a cot covered in blankets and books. On a desk covered in rune scrawlings and parchments sat a rather round and calming frog, who was nestled near a faerie fire tea kettle. The room was small, but cozy.
"I prefer coffee, but I'll take what you've got," he said, sitting on a clear spot on the cot, trying to take up as little room as possible. Adaine smiled and waved her hand, and the tea kettle became a coffee pot.
"I prefer coffee too, but I get too anxious if I have it in the evening," she said shyly. "As a matter of fact, I get anxious when I drink tea in the evening too." She poured Riz a cup and sat in her desk chair. He took it gratefully. When was the last time he had a proper cup of hot coffee?
"Thank you," he muttered over the mug, burning his tongue a little. "Mm. This is really good."
"Thank you. I've been practicing my transfiguration," she said, taking a sip of her own. "So, how's the castle treating you? It's quite big, it's easy to get lost when you're new."
"Ah, yeah," Riz lowered his cup. "It's pretty daunting, yeah. It took me ages to map the place out." Adaine looked confused.
"Weren't you given the tour?"
"There's a tour?"
"Oh, dear."
. . .
After three hours, seven secret corridors, and more than a few ghosts, Riz was alone in his chambers, next to the Prince's room. Adaine gave a very thorough tour, including historical information, long term staff insight, and all the emergency exits and pathways to the kitchen. Riz's chambers were directly above the library, and there was a small passageway that connected his rooms to Adaine's study, much to his relief. It was comforting knowing he had a quick escape, and even more so that he knew he held an ally on the other side. A door also connected his and Fabian's quarters, but he found it locked and apparently barred, as his lockpicking did not help get the door open. Fabian's insistence on not having a bodyguard was both stupid and annoying, but Riz decided it wouldn't deter him. He set his bag next to his bed, kicked off his shoes, and climbed into his new (frankly enormous) bed. Knowing sleep would not come for a while yet, he tugged his notebook from his bag and began to add to his notes.
. . .
Sleep never came.
Riz was not surprised, as he was in a new area, in a new room, with new smells and sounds and visuals and people, which took his entire night to process and cool down from. So, unfortunately, Riz was awake to see the sun rising in his window, and he found himself wandering about the castle to give himself something to do. Adaine had given him a rather exhaustive tour, and her information combined with his previous snooping made navigation no concern, so he allowed all his focus on his stealth, slipping into the shadows and noiselessly treading along the halls. He was passing the seamstress quarters when he overheard urgent, hushed voices. The door was ajar, and no one else was in the hall, and it wasn't like anyone explicitly told him not to listen in, so, rolling a nat twenty stealth, Riz peeked through the opening. In the room were three figures: a tall, imposing elven woman, remarkably similar to Adaine except for her longer hair and ornate caster robes, a lithe half elf in decorated weaver's garb, and a sweaty looking pixie man, who currently was being berated by the tall elvish woman.
"-little bodyguard of his makes your plan useless," she hissed, making the pixie cringe.
"I told you direct action would be better, Aelwyn," the seamstress said. The elven woman - Aelwyn, apparently - shook her head.
"It wasn't my idea, Penelope, you fucking know that," she said. "He wanted us to do this his way, but obviously that's no longer an option." The pixie, apparently forgotten, began edging his way to the door, before Aelwyn whirled around and grabbed him by the throat.
"You're not going anywhere, you glittery twat," she growled. "We're doing this my way now, and you've still got a role to play. You're going to spy on that little goblin man for me and report back his schedule. Penelope, dear, you're going to spy on our dear prince and report back to me as well. Make note of every time they are apart and for how long. Think you can do that and not fuck it up, shithead?" The pixie nodded rapidly, and Riz felt bile rise in his throat.
He couldn't be sure. He didn't have the whole story, only heard half a conversation.
But this sounded too much like an assassination plan.
Riz bolted from the door and promptly threw up out of the nearest window. This was a big clue. A huge clue. The first clue to an entirely new case. He needed to get to work immediately.
Riz rushed to Fabian's room and banged loudly on the door. To his dismay, there was no answer. Logically, Riz knew there was no way Aelwyn or Penelope or the pixie could have gotten here and already killed Fabian, but also they definitely were already there and had already killed him and he was definitely too late because he wasn't responding. In a panic, he picked the lock to the door, having to roll three times to get a success, and burst into Fabian's room in a frenzy.
"FABIAN!" he shouted at the lump on the (literally enormous) bed, leaping onto the mattress. There was no smell of blood, but that did not rule out poison or spell work. "FABIAN ARE YOU OKAY?" As soon as Riz landed on the bed, Fabian shot up and drew a small dagger from under his pillow and held it at Riz's throat.
"BACK THE FUCK UP," Fabian yelled, trying to recognize his attacker. Slowly he realized it was Riz and lowered the dagger slightly. "The Ball? What in the actual shit are you doing?" Riz pushed the dagger out of his face.
"Fabian," he said. "Your life is in danger." Fabian squinted.
"My life is in danger?" He echoed. Riz nodded rapidly.
"I overheard a conversation just now and there are three staff members that are plotting against you. A high elf named Aelwyn sent a half elf named Penelope and a pixie man to spy on you and myself respectively. Fabian, you need to leave the castle and move to a secure location. I'll come with you and keep guard. Or maybe I can take out those three and call for you when it's safe to return. No, they mentioned a third party, we shouldn't act rashly. Leaving the castle would give away that we know of their plan. Okay, we need to stay here-'' Riz rambled, breathless and sweaty, gesticulating wildly, cutting off suddenly when he felt Fabian's hands on his shoulders.
"The Ball, slow down," he said, looking steadily into his eyes, which didn't help Riz's sweatiness. "Do you have any solid proof of this assassination plot?" Riz opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again.
"No."
"Okay." Fabian let go of Riz and began to get out of bed. "I am going to ask you to conduct an investigation on these staff members you mentioned. Aelwyn is the sister to our librarian Adaine, so you might start there." Fabian tugged off his night shirt, and Riz hurriedly turned around, blushing.
"Yeah, I know Adaine. She showed me around last night," Riz said.
"Good, then that should make it easier for you," Fabian continued, partially muddled by ruffling fabric, probably from putting on today's outfit. "You do that this evening and I will ask my maid what she knows."
Riz spun around, hands over his eyes.
"And leave you by yourself? Absolutely not! My bodyguard duties are more important now than ever! I can't leave you for a moment!" He shouted. Fabian scoffed.
"The Ball, I've told you before, I can take care of myself," he huffed. Riz felt the fur on his tail prickle.
“I am not leaving your side,” Riz said firmly, a growl rumbling in the back of his throat. He was usually really intimidating when he growled and bared his teeth, but unfortunately he forgot that he was in his night garments, standing haphazardly on Fabian’s bed with his hands covering his eyes, which made him. Uh. A little less intimidating.
“Yeah, okay,” Fabian scoffed. Fuck, maybe Riz should have changed before barging in. Or washed. “I’d like to see you keep up.” Oh, no fucking way. Fabian must have noticed his anger, because he backpedaled.
“Okay, fine. Go get dressed and come get me here.” The anger immediately melted as Riz nodded rapidly, rushing to his room. Maybe he could be a little intimidating.
Very quickly, Riz threw on his other outfit (he meant to get more clothes, but with recent developments, it looks like he’ll just have to stick with his two sets of work clothes) and splashed water on his face. He dashed right back into Fabian’s room, arquebus holstered on his side and smiling big.
Fabian was not there.