Work Text:
Kadcyla swung at the tumor, cytotoxic payload slicing through the hideous mass like butter.
Pleasure pooled in her gut at a job well done. More fell to her blade. Briefly, Kadcyla imagined she was hacking away at Enhertu.
Her mood soured.
Fam trastuzumab deruxtecan nxki, aka Enhertu...
Everyone was talking about Enhertu nowadays.
The new protege of mother Trastuzumab, the rising star in the house of ADC.
The latest best cytotoxic agent in their crusade against Her2 tumor.
She wiped the viscera off her emtansine blade. Today is a victory for Kadcyla, not Enhertu. Three weeks later she would come again, hopefully to push back the tumor a little more. It was a Sisyphean task. The malignant force has taken root. She could hold them at bay for a time and no more. The script was set, and there would not be a happy ending for her charge.
Still she wondered.
If she was Enhertu, would the result be different? For all the lives she has failed, if she was Enhertu, would they have lived?
Logically she knew there was a component of probability, of chance, of luck - a fluttering butterfly's wings, a sleight of hand from the unseen.
Or destiny.
Some succumbed despite early stage disease.
Some died young despite favorable prognostic factor.
Some responded despite all the contrary.
Still she wondered...No she knew... if she was Enhertu, her charge's odd would raise from 35% to 79%. That's the irrefutable truth of Destiny breast 03 trial.
Oh Destiny. How Kadcyla hated it. She has been naively thrilled at Destiny breast 01, welcoming the another cytotoxic to their cause against Her2. Then came her humiliating defeat in Destiny breast 03. Enhertu has eviscerated her. Her PFS of 28.8 eclipsed her measly 6.8. Then came Destiny breast 04, Enhertu proving her capacity against Her2 low tumor which Kadcyla just couldn't touch.
In the limelight Enhertu had hidden her mouth behind a dainty hand. Was she coughing or smirking at Kadcyla?
Now everyone was talking about Enhertu. Desiring Enhertu. Deploying Enhertu.
Was there still a role for Kadcyla?
Hasn't she proved herself before, abolishing old standard in Katherine and Emilia trial.
She wasn't old. She was an old relic.
She was the best...once upon a time.
She dreaded the day of Destiny breast 05 result release...surely she would be humiliated again, her remaining niche stolen...her competitor was just superior.
Was she doomed to be replaced? Would she be lost to history? Her name an arachiac unfamiliarity that put a frown then a scoff from the next generation of researchers. Those stricken would look at her, befuddled, then recoiled in disgust, proclaiming they would rather die than having this outdated chemicial in their bodies.
Kadcyla would be forgotten.
One day so would Enhertu.
But the thought brought her selfish mind no relief.
As her charges died, one day so would Kadcyla and Enhertu themselves.
It's fate. It's destiny.
She returned to the grayish space where all her fellow cyctoxic lived when not in use. It looked like a cupboard. Or a lab. Or a pharmacy. She was just a drug so she didn't know.
In her transition she saw Enhertu. They weren't meant to be deployed together, and their (Enhertu's, mostly Enhertu's) busy schedule meant they rarely met each other.
She raised her hand to say hi, but enhertu averted her eyes, coughed and was whisked away for another infusion to the field.
The light dimmed, she descended into limbo. As her thoughts were prone to drift to in these times, she thought about Enhertu. What kind of battle was she having now. Her reach was broad. From the double mould like Br hill, to pipes like Cr swamp, to the windy LUNG field. Enhertu has thrived in all terrains while Kadcyla was struck in Br.
Everything was a reminder that Kadcyla was not good enough.
Oh she has tried her best. It wasn't good enough. Or she has tried, not to her utmost, but damn hasn't she tried hard. Sometimes she was tired, distracted. Sometimes she wasn't skilled enough. Sometimes she overdid it and caused too much systemic toxicity. It was just a lapse but it was unforgivable because someone's life was on the line. She had erred time and time again, and she would, again.
Sometimes there was nothing to be done. The tumor has all but taken over the body before she can get a foothold. She was David without her hallowed stone. Tumor like this even Enhertu would have lost. But...but...Enhertu would have lasted longer, wouldn't she? Enhertu could have brought more time for her charges and Kadcyla could not.
Perhaps Enhertu was not good enough, but Enhertu was still better.
These thoughts weighted on her as she was infused into another body. Her new charge. A person she didn't know but was now intimately tied to.
What was her story? What kind of person she was, before? What life has she led before contacting the tumor. She was loved, wasn't she? She sense her spirit her love her pain. And Kadcyla grieved.
Sometimes these thoughts slowed her.
Sometimes they pushed her to fight harder.
But in the end it didn't matter.
She tried not think too hard about anything. Just the automated motion of using her trasutumab sensor to identify the tumor, then attacked with emtansine.
Battles went on. Lives went on.
Her charges lived. Her charges died.
Then one day she read an obituary for Enhertu. She
has passed away from pneumonitis.
Oh Well. Destiny is a funny thing.