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the child (that I wish) that I had

Summary:

Heaven banishes you to Hell for cannibalizing angels, little do they know you might find more happiness there than you ever did in Heaven.

Chapter 1: The child that I had

Notes:

This was supposed to be a one-shot but I got tired whoops

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Well, it was nice while it lasted.

 

That was the last thought that crossed your mind before the clouds gave way beneath your feet, and you were sent tumbling town into darkness. You could only watch as the glowing cities of Heaven slowly disappeared, unable to get back up to its golden shimmer.

 

Not that you didn’t try, but you were never one for accepting your fate (which was probably also the reason you were currently falling from Heaven). No, you tried your best to get your wings to carry you back up to the courtroom, where Sera had just decided to banish you to Hell, merely because you had been caught snacking on some fellow angels. It was unfair, really. You had been cannibalizing angels for years, and nobody had noticed or cared about it. Sera, of course, had not been persuaded by this argument.

 

But, when you spread your wings to soar back up, a searing pain flared up through them. You cried out, trying to ignore your stinging wings and keep flying up, but to no avail. Now incapable of moving your wings, you quickly descended into the darkness of Hell.

 

--

 

As the ground was rapidly approaching you wondered whether you would survive the fall. You knew that if you didn’t you would respawn anyway, but since you didn’t want your first moment in Hell to be your death, you flicked your wings to slow your momentum enough so that the impact of you hitting the ground would not be fatal.

 

Bad decision

 

The searing pain that had been slowly dissipating as you fell immediately flared up again, and as you tumbled over the ground you had to grit your teeth in order not to let out a pained yell. When you came to a stop, you sat up against the wall of some shop and tried to focus on your breathing, at least until the pain lessened.

 

This provided a new problem because as it turned out, the air was much warmer and thicker than in Heaven. And when you took a deep breath, you immediately started hacking your lungs out. With every cough, the pain spread through your back, like electrical currents running over your skin.

 

When you were finally able to get up off the ground, you rolled your shoulders and made your wings disappear. Luckily, this made most of the pain go away as well. You dusted your clothes off, which you were pretty sure had turned several shades darker than when you were in Heaven. Your interest having been piqued, you rushed over to the first reflective surface in sight, a window of a shop that sold various tools which would make most Heavenly citizens weep at the sight of them. You were uninterested in the contents of the store, instead staring at your reflection, mesmerized.

 

Your hair was still the bright white it had been from when you first entered Heaven, and your skin had gotten greyer, but you were more captivated with your eyes. Your once so bright eyes had turned into an even black, no sclera, no iris, just black. You stepped back from the window and turned around, you had no idea where to go or what to do, so you just decided on the direction with the least number of fornicating demons in it.

 

--

 

You ended up booking a night at a motel that was definitely made for hookups and one-night stands, luckily for you, your Heaven Bucks had been transformed into Hell’s currency (you believed they were called Souls, but couldn’t be sure yet). As you sat down on your bed you unfolded the wrapping of the burger you had just bought and ate it while listening to a couple arguing in the next room over. You would have much rather had a limb or something, but you weren’t sure where to get human meat. Or maybe your burger was already partially made of human meat, it was hell after all.

 

After you were finished with the burger you collapsed on your bed, then quickly sitting up straight again as your back exploded with pain. You silently cursed Heaven for fucking up your wings as you grabbed the blanket tightly in your hands. When your back no longer felt on fire you made your wings appear and carefully started preening the right one. Preening was a difficult task to do on your own, especially when a wrong movement could make you double over in pain, so you only managed to fix a small part. Even if it was a little, you could feel the pain abate ever so slightly. You folded your wings around yourself as you laid back down, carefully this time. Slowly drifting off to sleep while the neighbours got over their feud by starting a much louder activity.

 

--

 

You awoke with a start, flinging yourself into an upright position (to the dismay of your back), as you gasped for air. You weren’t sure if you’d had a nightmare or it was something else, but what you were sure about was that you could not breathe. The air was so thick and warm and you could barely get any oxygen.

 

You scampered over to the small window in your room, pushing it open you quickly inhaled the outside air. You weren’t sure whether the air at the height of your motel room was actually thinner, or if it was just your imagination, but as you stuck your head out of the window, you finally felt like you could breathe again. You stayed there, watching the city, until your heart had slowed down to its normal frequency again. You took one last deep breath before getting ready to leave.

 

--

 

You spent the next week exploring the city, learning about different overlords and powerful hell-born, you learned that fallen angels weren’t very common, so you hid your wings when you went outside, and when your back started hurting you would find a sport that was hidden away, so that you could preen the small number of feathers you could reach (the pain was definitely not getting exponentially worse, what are you talking about?), and when you felt like you couldn’t breathe you would find a tall building and stand on its roof until you could breathe normally again.

 

This afternoon, you had made your way to Cannibal Town. Where you passed by several different shops before one caught your attention: Rosie’s Emporium, you noticed it because it shared the name of your late mother. Upon further inspection, it seemed to be a shop that not only sold cannibalistic foods but where you could also go to get advice from the shop’s owner, who was an overlord. You felt like you could use some advice, it still being your first days in Hell and all, and since you were also craving some good food, you decided to head on in.

 

The establishment was quite busy, but found your way to an assortment of treats, and picked out some pinky fingers. When you took your place in the queue you took note that everyone here had the same black eyes as you, which was weirdly comforting. When you got to the front of the line, you were greeted by Rosie herself, who helped you ring up your treats, and inquired if you desired any advice.

 

You told her that you recently arrived in hell, and she gave you a sympathetic look before leading you to one of the tables. There she explained to you the basics workings of Hell and gave you some tips to help you survive. However, halfway through her rant about how you should never interact with succubi she stopped, before looking at you with a puzzled expression.

 

“Sweetie, why do you look like that?”

 

“What?”

 

“Those clothes you’re wearing, you look like you died a century ago.” She narrowed her eyes. “You wouldn’t be taking advantage of my hospitality would you darling?”

 

“No! No, I-” You couldn’t think of an excuse, but also didn’t want to make the first person who was nice to you mad, “well it’s a long story.”

 

“I have time, and since you’re new here, so should you.”

 

You realized you had no way out, so just sighed and ate one of the pinkies you bought before diving into the story. For the next 30 minutes, you explained how you died years ago, ended up in heaven, got banished for cannibalizing angels, and promptly fell down to hell. When you were done, an awkward silence stretched out between you and Rosie. To break the silence, you decided to just say the first thing that came to your mind.

 

“You know, you actually have the same name as my mother.”

 

This visibly piqued Rosie’s interest, and you could see a sprinkle of hope in her black eyes as she requested your name. When you told her, she clasped her hand over her mouth, before whispering.

 

“That’s the name of my child.”

 

You and Rosie went back and forth asking questions, to confirm each other’s identities, getting more and more excited with every question answered right. Eventually, a tearful Rosie made her way to your chair and threw her arms around you.

 

“You are my child!”

 

You hugged her back, burying your head in her shoulder, pretending like your back wasn’t flaring up from the pain of being touched. After a few moments, Rosie let go and stretched out her hand.

 

“Come! I have so much to teach you! And so much to show you! Oh, you have to meet Alastor he’s such a sweetie”

 

You took her hand as she continued to ramble on about the things you’d have to do together.

 

Maybe Hell wasn’t so bad after all.

Notes:

next chapter:
Rosie: so this is my child
Alastor: ...
Alastor: so this is our child