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Guren’s body ached everywhere. His squad had barely managed to stay alive in the prior mission at Nagoya. They had lost many comrades in battle, and Guren’s possession with Mahiru was contained through the help of Shinya. Now, everything was back to normal. Almost. The problem is Shinya. The silver-haired man hadn’t uttered a word or so much even glanced at Guren after the Battle even though Guren almost died. He hated to admit it, but he felt neglected. He would cross paths with his friend ever so often, expecting endless teasing and Guren’s ever-growing annoyance; however, no such thing happened. Instead, there was a heavy tension that formulated between him and Shinya. His friend would either completely ignore his presence or he would turn around and walk away, purposely avoiding Guren.
Guren genuinely had thought that Shinya was just trying to joke around by evading him as a joke. However, three weeks had passed without a single knock on his office door at night. As irritating as Shinya was, with his habit of barging into Guren’s office in the middle on the night, Guren sincerely missed him. The three weeks became uneventful without Shinya’s mischievous antics. What made Guren’s life even worse was that every time that he had began to write a report, his mind would aimlessly wander to the silver-haired man, contradictingly anticipating a knock on his door that never occurred.
Another week had slowly passed without Shinya’s company and Guren finally snapped. He couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to see why Shinya was being so evasive and he wanted to fix the mistakes he made, if any. Once nighttime hit, Guren slowly made his way to the Hiiragi household. The buildings were luxurious compared to any of the side branches, much less an Ichinose’s. Guren cautiously snuck into the Hiiragi’s main household where Shinya resides. Thankfully, nobody was in the premise so he made his way outside Shinya’s room. He took a few seconds to gather his inner thoughts. What would he say? Will Shinya even want to talk to him? Millions of thoughts were running through his mind but he eventually resorted to simply knocking on the door and waiting on the answer instead of dwelling on the “what ifs”.
After a few seconds had passed, the door unlocked and Guren fixated his eyes on Shinya’s blue orbs. He was wearing a light blue shirt and black pants. It was one of the few times that Guren had seen him out of his regular uniform. A lump was forming on Guren’s mouth and he gulped to cover any obvious signs of infatuation, Shinya looked really good. But of course, he would never voice that out loud.
“Guren!” Shinya exclaimed but his usual cheeriness didn’t reach his eyes, as if he was trying hard to not to show his underlying sadness as usual. Guren never understood how Shinya could smile so much, even if most of them were fake. He wanted to see his friend but he didn’t look that happy to see him. “Why are you here?” Shinya questioned but the question sounded disappointed as if Guren shouldn’t have visited him. Guren knew something was very wrong but he couldn’t pinpoint why exactly Shinya was acting this way. It wasn’t normal.
“Shinya…” He began, but was immediately cut off by Shinya who beckoned him to enter his room. All thoughts of whatever he was about to utter to Shinya fell short as he noticed the excessive amount of medicated drugs lying around his friend’s desk.
Shinya seemed to have noticed Guren’s shock so he sprouted at a futile attempt to cover up the situation. “This isn’t mine, Guren...tru-”, Guren instantly cut him off.
“Bullshit.” Shinya was a good liar but Guren didn’t fall for it after all these years of knowing him. He knew Shinya was hiding something and it definitely had something to do with these drugs. Guren immediately walked over and noticed a bunch of painkillers even though Shinya tried to stop him to no avail. Guren’s eyes widened, he was perplexed. He didn’t know the extent of Shinya’s injuries required so many medications, nobody told him about this. Why? Millions of thoughts were running through his head which only confused him further.
“What is all this shit, Shinya?? Why didn’t you tell me?!” His tone contained an icy venom, not at Shinya but at himself for being so clueless when his friend was suffering so much. He hated himself for being so ill-natured to Shinya when he had helped Guren through so much.
Shinya looked afraid to answer, his eyes were full of anguish but he tried his best to smile. “I can’t tell you that, Gure-.” Guren was so annoyed at Shinya’s stubborn behavior that he snapped.
“Like hell you can’t! You’ve been avoiding me for the past month and I thought that you would definitely come into my room and annoy me to death like usual but you never did. I know something’s wrong. This isn’t you. Tell me….please.” Guren implored hopelessly. He needed to know. Nothing made sense.
Shinya seemed taken back on Guren’s desperate attempts to find out the source of his avoidance. The blue-eyed man finally sighed as a sign of defeat. Guren felt accomplished but didn’t show any evidence externally. “I got stabbed on my near my ribcage through my back, it hurt before but I’m fine now so don’t worry it.”
Guren knew that Shinya was still withholding information so he tried to pry his friend for another attempt to reveal the entire situation. “Who stabbed you? Why have you been avoiding me?” He managed to utter in a very silent tone because Guren had a feeling on who it was but his mind kept rebelling against the possibility. He wanted to hear it from his Shinya’s mouth to be sure but he hoped that wasn’t true.
“Aw Guren actually cares about me~”. Shinya singsonged only to earn an annoyed glare from Guren. Without thinking, Guren added, “Of course I do...you idiot.” He immediately regretted being so blunt because he could felt his cheeks heat up after expressing his concern for Shinya.
Shinya laughed. A genuine laugh. If Guren wasn’t so embarrassed, he would’ve wanted to hear Shinya more.
However, his friend’s eyes darkened, he seemed to be debating whether to tell Guren the truth. But he finally gave in by admitting what had happened. “Guren, you were possessed and stabbed me when I was attempting to suppress Mahiru’s possession over you but thankfully, the wound missed my vital organs. I was avoiding you because you told me that you never wanted to see me again. Even though you were possessed, a part of me believed those words since I’ve annoyed you so many times and perhaps it was better this way so that you won’t become possessed by Mahiru again. But, I’m fine now so you shouldn't blame yourself. It’s one of your virtues but please don’t push yourself anymore.” Shinya sounded so heartbroken and smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes once again.
After hearing the truth that he desperately hoped wasn’t real, Guren could feel his eyes burning from anger and despair but he somehow managed to subdue his feelings. He didn’t want to break down in front of Shinya.
“I want to see it. Your wound.” Guren emphasized plainly. He didn’t miss the slight blush on Shinya’s face. He seemed just as surprised at Guren’s brave statements.
“Eh, Guren?! But I don’t want to take off my shirt.” Shinya’s excuse only resulted in a brighter red spread across his cheeks. Guren thought he was pretty with his gray hair and blue eyes. Guren chuckled in Shinya’s shyness. “Do you want me to take it off then?” Guren challenged in a playful tone which only caused Guren to get hit by a flying pillow.
“Fine.” Shinya reluctantly agreed as he pulled off his shirt and sat on the edge of the bed. The wound was deep and went through to Shinya’s back. But, it looked almost fully healed although the scar remained.
“Does it hurt if you touch it?” Guren asked Shinya. He wanted to know because he couldn’t bear to hear the thought of Shinya suffering because of him. He felt so guilt-ridden.
“Not much, the pain is almost gone, it’s been a month so it will be recovered completely in a week or so.” Shinya responded simply as if this was no big deal.
“I’m so sorry.” It was barely a whisper but Shinya heard him nonetheless. He slowly walked up to Shinya and sat next to him on the bed. The tears that Guren tried so hard to hold back overwhelmingly spilled. He felt so shitty. Shinya didn’t deserve this.
Shinya broke the silence and Guren’s breakdown made Shinya look even sadder. “Please don’t blame yourself. This wasn’t your fault.”
The once beautiful and healthy skin is now scarred because of Guren. It will remain there forever as a remainder of his sins even if Mahiru possessed him.
He didn’t know what made him react to the situation this way but he slowly began to kiss Shinya’s scars gently, making sure not to hurt him. Shinya obviously wasn’t expecting this so he slightly flinched at the touch. A few silent exchanges were passed, Guren could feel Shinya hugging him tightly as he continued to kiss his scars near Shinya’s ribcages very carefully. More tears began to spill but neither of them said anything. At that point, Guren wasn’t sure who was crying.
After a few minutes had passed, Guren finally broke the comfortable silence.
“You know, Shinya….” He was contemplating what to say to the light-haired male because he needed to tell him something important but he wasn’t quite sure how to word it.
“Hmmm?” Shinya hummed as he stared into Guren’s purple eyes.
“I don’t want you to leave or avoid me ever again. Everything I say while possessed is a lie and you know it. Even if you annoy the shit out of me, I guess I don’t really mind….your company.” He finally added but he felt his cheeks heat up. He was never the one for serious conversations.
“Awww Guren, do you love me?~” Shinya already began to go back to his normal bothersome self. He didn’t want to say sarcastic statements anymore since it could potentially disrupt their relationship again so he decided to be a bit more honest with himself.
“Yeah Shinya. I love you.” He guessed Shinya was definitely not expecting that response because he heard his blue-eyed friend gasp in shock. Guren eyed Shinya who looked tomato red from the blush dispersed throughout his entire face.
Guren stared at his lips a second too long because Shinya noticed. It was already too late to back out. Guren initiated the kiss as he gently held Shinya’s waist. His lips were very soft, Guren noted. The kiss deepened as Guren fought for dominance and won. Shinya moaned loudly which ended up with Guren kissing all over Shinya’s scars again.
A few minutes later, Guren slowly added, “Shinya, promise me that you won’t avoid me again.”
There was a long pause before Shinya responded.
“Never.”