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1. The Tale of a Magic-Sucking Hoover and a Rat-Drinking Monster by emeryhall

   Fandoms: Carry On | Simon Snow Series - Rainbow Rowell  

   • Explicit
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   13 Mar 2024

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
   • Simon Snow
   • Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch
   • Lucy Salisbury
   • Natasha Grimm-Pitch
   • Penelope Bunce
   • Watford Eighth Year (Simon Snow)
   • Canon Divergence
   • magickal mishaps
   • Getting Together
   • Hurt/Comfort
   • Explicit Sexual Content
   • Light BDSM
   • and extremely gratuitous
   • Dirty Talk
   • like brace yourselves for the things that will come out of Baz's mouth
   • Dildos
   • of the purple glitter variety
   • lace knickers
   • erotic scone eating
   • The Single Bed Trope
   • Sex Dreams
   • knee-high leather boots
   • Vampires being vampires
   • magic sharing
   • ghost mums
   • because that totally fits with
   • Erotic Grope Fest

   Summary

   It’s eighth year and everything is wrong. Baz showed up eight weeks late, he’s even greyer than normal, and his knee is all busted. Plus all of this medieval weaponry has started appearing in our room.

   It’s eighth year and everything is wrong. Snow isn’t back to his clobbering weight, something happened between him and Agatha, and now all of these sex toys are appearing in our room. Plus, Snow clearly thinks they’re weapons and I swear to Merlin if he practices his “sword work” with a double-headed dildo one more time, I’m going to impale myself on it, and yes, I do mean THAT way.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   38,749

   Chapters:

   5/5

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   Kudos:

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