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It is not until they return from an extended honeymoon that Kate finally gets to go through her things and arrange everything to her liking. She has the help of a dozen maids, but politely turns them all away, taking her time to honor each of her possessions. When Anthony finds her alone on the hardwood floor of a bedchamber, rummaging through the dower chest, he notes that she doesn't seem to have many things.
"I've only moved the most important ones," she explains, not lifting her head.
Of course, it's not just the most important things she finds inside, but every thing is equally important to Kate. She may have lied to everyone, including herself, about wanting nothing more than to return to India, but the longing for home was very real. So every possession that could serve as a subtle reminder of her life back there was placed in her new home with the respect it deserved.
A small bronze spice jar now takes its place on her tea table, making even English tea more bearable. A painting done by Mola Ram now resided above the dresser. A children's book, sneaked into one of the chests by Edwina, is displayed among the very special editions in Bridgerton's vast library.
The last one especially worries Kate, remembering the importance of the library not only to Anthony, but also to his father. But they are no longer at Aubrey Hall. And as her husband makes sure to say, looking directly into her eyes, even if they were, he would be nothing but proud to see his father's collection thrive and grow.
With everything finally settled, Bridgerton Manor is beginning to look and feel more like a permanent home to her. Of course, home is where Anthony is, but having something familiar to rest one's eyes on helps to gain the confidence to handle the viscountess's duties. Anthony rarely comments on anything, mostly for fear of sounding insensitive or uncultured, but he does enjoy the way the Bridgerton's baby blue interiors are infused with bright colors and unfamiliar designs.
What he doesn't enjoy is that his wife hardly appears any happier now that everything is sorted out. Strong as she is, Kathani puts on a brave face and greets each day with a smile, but there is something much deeper behind her eyes. She's rarely left alone these days, constantly surrounded by servants, the Bridgerton sisters, or, most horrid of all, other noble ladies of the ton, but a glimpse of surprising loneliness never truly leaves her gaze.
As the days pass, the viscount becomes increasingly concerned about Kate's condition. The sadness is most evident in the quiet hours of the morning, before she gets dressed and prepares to join the family for breakfast. It pleases Anthony to see the positive effect his siblings have on her mood, but he'd much rather not see his beloved in any kind of stress. So when the same emotion is still there three days later, he decides to address it immediately.
"Lady Bridgerton," he murmurs and puts both arms around her waist. They have about five minutes before Kate's maid brings everything to get them ready for breakfast, but he cannot stop himself from touching her. "How are you feeling, my love?"
Even after their wedding and honeymoon, Anthony was still learning the art of open conversation, so Kate could not help but smile in response. All of this, from spending most nights in the same bed to leaning into each other's arms for support, was still new to them. But they were handling the change well, it was something they both welcomed into their lives.
"Even better now," she replied softly, turning her head to place a gentle kiss on the side of his jaw. "Why?"
"You looked a bit troubled yesterday. The day before too."
Kate signed. She tried her best to hide the distress with a smile, but the sadness must have seeped through the cracks. If anything, she suddenly felt guilty for making her husband worry about something that wasn't really worth it.
She gently placed her palms on Anthony's arms and rubbed the cold band of his pinkie ring with the tip of her thumb. Knowing how much such small possessions could mean to him, she was sure there was no chance he would ridicule her feelings.
And yet, opening up felt just as vulnerable and embarrassing as it always did.
"I think something must have gotten lost in transit," she explained.
"Was it something important? Could it have been misplaced by mistake? Should I ask someone to look for it?"
"No-" Kate stumbled over her own words. Anthony, as dedicated to solving everyone's problems as he always was, was now spitting out the solution-oriented suggestions. Which his wife would have appreciated, if it wasn't for the fact that she shared all the same ideas and tried them all herself.
"No, Anthony, don't worry about it," she insisted. "It wasn't anything important anyway. Just a little keepsake. A hair comb my father gave me when I was little. I'm not even sure it had any value, it just..."
"...meant a lot to you as a memory," Anthony finished the sentence for her, hugging her closer and pressing his lips to the back of her head. He loved her hair, untied, black waves on her shoulders, still carrying the intense scent of lilies.
She nodded. They stood in silence for a few more moments, Anthony trying to find a way to show his support without too many words, and Kate enjoying the warmth of a much-needed embrace. He couldn't solve this challenge for her, and he hated the feeling of helplessness. She, on the other hand, found great comfort in the mere fact of his compassion.
"Can I make it better for you?" he finally asked quietly.
"You already do," Kate replied honestly, turning in his hands to place another soft kiss, this time gently cupping his face with both palms.
The comb was a tiny thing that held a huge space in her heart. Losing it wasn't easy, especially in the middle of such an intense transition she had to face. Having the right person next to her, however, made it all feel less catastrophic and heavy. Looking into Anthony's eyes, Kate knew that the loss she had suffered would not leave an empty void in her soul this time, but rather would heal in a matter of days.
They both had a long way to walk, but accepting and letting go proved to be much easier when there was something as large and constant and absolutely heartwarming as their love for one another.