Archive of Our Own

When Jimmy and Timmy had first met each other, the genius thought the last thing they would ever be was friends. 

It made sense in his mind at the time, he could see the clear clash in their personalities with the arguments and attitudes they had towards one another. They each had their own perspective, ideologies, and interests. Sure, they were similar in age and their birthdays were a mere few weeks apart which would excite most kids, but for them, it didn’t. Instead, they were both annoyed by it, moreso Timmy since he was the younger between the two of them and by golly, Jimmy made sure he never forgot it even as they got older.

They bickered, argued, and fought to the point that people thought they were enemies more than friends. Even when they formed the interdimensional team with Spongebob and Danny, their foes were often perplexed when they argued with each other during fights. However, in the end, it turned out they were just a bunch of idiot kids who needed time to grow into themselves and to better understand how friendships worked. Jimmy also learned that sometimes, the people that come into your life hold a deeper purpose than what you initially thought. 

Sometimes they seem small, insignificant like making eye contact with a stranger. There's a shared connection for a moment, a possible invitation into something deeper and maybe even a smile before the connection is broken, lost and you each continue on the paths intended for you. Sometimes, all that's needed is that brief connection and then the world is swirling beneath your feet into an unknowing abyss.

In Jimmy’s case, it took him until they were full grown adults before he fully understood the reasoning for Timmy being in his life. The brunette had been his best friend for years at that point. They’d endured countless missions together, bandaged each other's wounds and of course bickered the entire time, but their voices held less and less malice as time went on. It became more of a routine for them, the dynamic they had carried on and a new routine was established between the two of them. Things grew more affectionate, more tender. Some would even say loving.

It strengthened when they got older, and funnily enough, it was because of Timmy’s parents. Jimmy hated his family, remembering how miserable he had been when he had gotten stuck with them so long ago and he hated the fact that Timmy had to tolerate them on a regular basis. Even still, despite all they had done, the genius was still a little grateful to them. If not for them, Timmy would’ve never gotten fairies, he never wouldn’t intertwined their dimensions, and they never would’ve met. 

If not for them, they wouldn’t have established the inseparable bond they’d created.

Jimmy shared his deepest thoughts, fears and opinions with him on nights when Timmy didn’t want to go home. He offered himself as a distraction for the other, comforted him in the best way he could and went as far as holding him against his chest on the nights that were especially hard for him. He would never forget the first time he’d come unexpectedly. It had been storming that night and he barely heard the rapping on his door above the sound of thunder and hard rainfall. And when he’d opened the door, there stood Timmy, eyes red from rubbing and lip bleeding from how much he was gnawing at it. He was drenched, out of breath and looked at Jimmy with glimmering blue eyes.

“Can I stay here?”  

It was the question he had asked him and Jimmy didn’t hesitate for a moment, opening the door to let him in. Timmy never did tell him what happened that day that was so different from the rest and Jimmy decided to never ask. It was a silent request Timmy had given and he respected that. Instead, he offered a warm beverage and change of clothing which the other gladly accepted. They talked about random things, the rain pattering loudly against the window as if it wished to partake in their conversation but it was ignored entirely. Then Timmy went for a shower and Jimmy kept himself busy by preparing his bedroom for the both of them. It wasn’t until the bed was ready that he realized he’d gotten it ready for the both of them but he ignored that fact as much as he ignored the blush that spread across his face.

It was just for tonight anyway. No big deal.

Timmy didn’t mind either and if he did, he didn’t express it and joined Jimmy without question. It was the first time he and Timmy shared the bed, not even having done it when they had sleepovers as kids. It was strange at first, both of them cautious and unwillingly to let their bodies touch but once the lamp was off and they’d gotten settled, they finally relaxed. Their feet brushed against one another, then their knees and maybe, their fingers at some point.

“Thanks for letting me stay..”

“You’re my best friend Turner, you don’t have to ask.”

Despite it being just the two of them, they still spoke in soft whispers to one another like they did on those nights when Timmy would come over. When their conversation started to fall short and Jimmy’s eyelids were feeling heavier, it was then that Timmy gave him a look. He didn’t know how to describe it other than that it was full of yearning and..who was he to deny him of something he clearly needed? So Jimmy lifted the covers and widened his arms, an invitation that was accepted when the godchild scooted closer and curled into his chest. Nothing else was spoken but Jimmy undeniably liked the way Timmy’s fingers touched his back, moving slowly in circles and he returned the act by caressing the base of his neck.

The rain had finally died down, the pattering against the window had grown softer and lulled them into a deep, peaceful sleep.

And something clicked into place that night, unbeknownst to them.

After that, Timmy started spending the night more frequently and by the time he was nearly done with college and long after Jimmy had graduated from university, they were all but living together. It made sense since Timmy was his best friend, his ride or die, or whatever other terms were used to describe the deep emotional connection they had between one another. Where one of them went, the other was basically always there. And if the other wasn’t there, they’d get raised eyebrows and questioning looks before being asked “where’s your other part?” It was basically assumed that they’d continued living together since the godchild had all but fully moved into Jimmy’s dimension. He had absolutely no complaints about that. 

However, there was an uneasiness in Timmy that he tried but was failing horribly at hiding. Jimmy remembered a fear of his from when they were younger, that his parents would kick him out the second he was of age and when he had finished school. He’d lightly joked about a few weeks before his college graduation ceremony and though he was smiling, it didn’t quite reach his eyes. So, Jimmy decided to put his worries and fears at ease and made blueprints with the intent to convert the storage room into Timmy’s instead. He asked Danny to keep him busy and out of the house so he could work. The halfa gave him a soft look and a smile, nodding that he’d come up with something.

And he did, the week before Timmy’s graduation they went on a camping trip with a few other friends. It worked out since Jimmy didn’t like going camping but Timmy was all for it and was excited to do something before he started his new position at the company he’d recently gotten hired for. He’d be kept busy until the morning of the ceremony and the godchild told him he’d just get ready in Danny’s dimension before going straight to the school. Perfect. 

When the day came and the moment Danny’s car pulled out of the driveway, he and Goddard got to work. Jimmy rearranged his their home to be more suitable for two people, he converted his storage room into a bedroom for Timmy and spent hours designing it to fit his preferences and filled it with things he knew he would like. He created Timmy’s own access code to the alarm system and even to his lab, his safe haven. It was something he had never done before and yet, he felt no hesitance doing it. There was no one else aside from Goddard that he could trust more. By the morning of the event, everything was finished and the last thing the house needed to complete it was Timmy himself.

The genius was jittering with excitement, having found it hard to keep the secret from Timmy and he planned to tell him after the ceremony. Danny and Sponge hadn’t been able to make it to the event because of the time difference but promised to stop by afterwards, giving him the perfect opportunity to have time alone to tell him. Despite being the only one there in the crowd for him, he shouted and cheered when his name was called and waved his arms so Timmy knew he was there.

Even amongst the sea of people, Timmy’s eyes landed on his and he saw the way his lips curved and dimples popped out on his cheeks. Jimmy felt himself smile when he looked away bashfully, taking the diploma from his professor before he shook hands with the line of teachers. It wasn’t until someone asked Jimmy to sit down that he realized he was still standing, peering over everyone to see his best friend. Even when he sat down, he still stretched his neck as far as he could, watching Timmy eventually find his way back to his seat. The names continued to be called and the moment the event was concluded, Jimmy rushed from his seat and down the steps of the stadium to find him to share the good news.

There were many people about by the time he made it down to the ground floor and Jimmy was grateful for his height, having grown as tall as his father and he looked over the top of everyone’s head. Eventually his eyes landed on a familiar face and Jimmy’s heart skipped when he saw Timmy, coming to an abrupt halt. It had just rained that morning but a few scattered droplets continued to fall here and there. The clouds above were still gloomy making it cold and miserable. The wind had picked up and blew over everyone, making them shudder but Jimmy didn’t feel it, he was too busy staring, looking, and drinking in the angel of a presence just ahead of him.

Seeing Timmy now, as a twenty-four year old dressed in a black gown and cap, diploma in hand made something in his chest jolt. The light that had fought its way through the cloud was cascading downward, like a spotlight and it was pointed directly at Timmy. The rays of the sun bounced off of him, making him radiate and he looked heavenly. 

Jimmy discovered then that he couldn’t move, all he could do was stare at him. 

The crowds of people blurred by at an accelerated rate but Timmy remained still, his form never once was hidden or fading from his view. He had taken notice of the genius and was smiling at him from afar, having caught sight of him and he was walking what was probably a quick stride, but to Jimmy, he was moving like they did in the movies. Like the world had slowed down for just a minute, granting him the gift of preserving this moment of time into his memory and boy, he sure did.

The tassel from his graduation cap fluttered across his shoulder and his long black gown hung loosely, flaring slightly as he moved. The long smooth fingers that held the rolled up paper he’d worked so hard for the last several years. And then there was his face, his absolutely gorgeous face. The slight curve of his nose, splattered with light freckles that dusted over it and long eyelashes that others would kill for. But man, the thing that had done it for him and made Jimmy weak in the knees was that smile. That smile of his was something else, something completely unlike anyone else he’d ever met. The way his lips peeled back and curved into a cheeky grin, revealing those beautiful buckteeth of his. The dimples made their presence known again, adding to the attraction of his face. There was also the way it lit up his eyes, their sterling blue enhancing even more than normal. Every feature melded into the wholly epitome of beauty. 

All Timmy had done was smile at him and Jimmy was lost.

For the first time since Timmy appeared on his doorstep, Jimmy saw an entire life with him develop in his mind. He could see the future and every chapter and milestone. Going out on dates, trips, missions, birthdays, anniversaries, proposing to him, kissing, hand holding, making love and so much more. In every scenario that crossed his mind within those few seconds, it was all filled with the brunette. It was then that the genius finally realized he wasn’t just his friend anymore, the feelings he had ran deeper. Deeper than he originally thought.

He was now the person he’d fallen absolutely head over heels for and all it took was that look, that simple drop of a smile to break the surface tension in his heart and allow everything to flow out. It pooled into his body, every line of muscle, every capillary, and every goddamn single part of him ignited to such a point he thought he would burn alive from the feeling alone. The air was depleted from his lung and he felt like a fish out of water, tasting the surface for the first time while struggling to find its source of functionality again.

And when Timmy reached him, the slender adult hugged him and he was pulled from heaven and was back on earth again, standing in a midst of people. He’d been pulled apart, every system in his body separated and exposed to the air between them before it was then placed back together. The touch was different than before, it was warm and grounding and holy atoms did Timmy smell good. His nose twitched slightly at the newly found scent emitting from the other. Had he always smelled like that? Had he always felt that warm to the touch? 

“You okay?” Timmy asked, tilted his head slightly as he looked up at him. His eyes scanned over his face, etched with worry and Jimmy didn’t miss the way he kept his hands on his forearms. His fingers grazed over his biceps, making the muscle there tense exponentially at the touch. 

Jimmy’s tongue and throat felt swollen, and for a moment he thought he was choking even though that wasn’t the case. He nodded his head and forced a smile, soothing Timmy’s worry which washed away along with the droplets of rain that had fallen on his face and rolled off casually. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay, I’m-” he swallowed, heart beating so loud he could barely hear his own voice over it. “I’m just so proud of you, Turner.”

“Aha..thanks, I guess,” he said with an embarrassed laugh and a sheepish smile came across his face. He wasn’t good with compliments, having never really received them growing up. They always made him flustered and he downplayed the significance of his achievements constantly. Timmy let go of Jimmy’s arms and the genius mourned the disconnection, feeling the cool wind for the first time that morning. It was hard to imagine how he could be cold when the sun was standing right next to him.

“Uh-so uhm, where are we going to meet Sponge and Danny? Back to your house?” Timmy inclined his head towards the parking lot. Right. The house. The room. He’d forgotten about the news he’d been wanting to share with him. 

“We’re going to our house Turner,” Jimmy said, rummaging in his pocket for the set of keys to the home. The godchild was insistent on using the code system that he had in place and had declined a key when he had offered it to him. So when Timmy rolled his eyes, lips were already curving into a smile after he kissed his teeth. Jimmy interrupted him before he could speak by grabbing his hand. He placed the customized key (a neon green color) into the center of his palm. He smiled at him, heart fluttering at the surprised look at his face, holy atoms, he was so cute.

“It’s our house,” he repeated, closing his fingers over the key. Timmy stared in disbelief, completely flabbergasted. Jimmy bit his lip and spoke quickly, confidence faltering. “I–I renovated the storage room into a bedroom while you were away, Danny was in on it which is why he took you camping because I needed to get you out of the house while I worked. I mean, we’ve been living together for so long now and I know I never got the chance to fully ask you if you wanted to move in or if you even want to move in, which is totally okay if you don’t want to but I figured-”

This time it was Jimmy who got caught off because Timmy had all but leapt into his arms, wrapping them around his shoulders while he squeezed the life out of him. He was standing on his tippy toes since the genius was several inches taller than the latter and Jimmy felt the heat rise up his neck all the way to the tip of his ears when he buried his face into his shoulder.

“Thank you,” he whispered quietly, voice suspiciously sounding watery and thick. His grip on Jimmy tightened. “Thank you, thank you..”

He kept repeating the phrase until the words were replaced with Timmy’s own form of rainfall and Jimmy held onto him, not letting go of him once. They stood there for a while, long enough to both become dripping wet from the rain that had started back up again. And when they finally got the courage to pull away from each other, Timmy smiled at him again, somehow looking even prettier with the redness surrounding his eyes and the pink that dusted the tip of his nose. Jimmy nearly told him that he looked beautiful, but the word was so vastly below par of how amazing he looked in that moment, that he refrained from saying it. Perhaps he’d find the right word one day, but for now, he was going to take Timmy to their home and get him out of the rain.

For now, he’d hold onto the secret of his and he did so for several months. Life carried on as it did before, but things felt warmer this time around. Jimmy found himself looking at the other more often, sometimes their eyes met and they’d both stutter an apology before jerking their heads to the side to hide their flustered faces. Whatever it was that had erupted in his chest that gloomy day, it felt beautiful and delicate to the point he was afraid to acknowledge for fear that merely thinking about it would cause it to shatter and vanish into the depths of himself. Instead, he nourished it and allowed it to grow, feeding off the sometimes delicate touches they shared when their fingers touched for too long or when they’d fall asleep on the couch together, curled up under a blanket with Goddard resting on their lap. It was little things, but they meant the most.

Jimmy wondered sometimes when the feeling in his chest would be ready to bloom, he was a patient man after all but yet, the time still didn’t seem right. And so he waited. And waited some more. Timmy had graduated in April that year, but it wasn’t until August that the blooming finally happened. And it didn’t go the way he had wanted to at all. Not in the slightest. Not one bit. Plan be damned because the universe had clearly grown bored of Jimmy dancing around the topic and had finally intervened.

It started with a rainfall, which was abnormal for this time of year. It was strange to have such an intense storm happen so late in the year and yet it did. The sound of thunder and lightning was abrupt and terrifying, it sounded as if the gods themselves had erupted into war amongst the heavens and the rain was merely the sparks of their anger deflecting themselves onto earth. 

They were both sheltered in their home, which normally would have been fine but Timmy had been..tense the last few weeks. Jimmy noticed a shift in his behavior, he was acting more anxious, paranoid, and seemingly avoiding him altogether. He’d asked if he was alright and if there was something he wanted to talk about, but the godchild merely shook his head, forced a smile and then resigned to his room. It left the scientist feeling dumbfounded and uneasy since the latter was always one to communicate so it felt..awful that he didn’t know what was going on in his head. They’d always shared everything together and now it felt like he’d be kicked out of Timmy’s head. Like the door had been slammed shut, locked, and curtains had been drawn to prevent him from trying to get back in or at least attempt to see in. 

It hurt. A lot.

As much as Jimmy wanted to find resolution, he forced himself to wait for the other to come to him. Afterall, that’s how things worked in the past. Timmy always came to him when he was ready, and though Jimmy did that too when the situation was in reverse, the godchild was typically the initiator. However, his patience was rapidly wearing thin and when Timmy stuttered out an excuse to not hang out on the couch to ride the storm out, Jimmy finally snapped.

“Alright Turner,” he started, pinching the bridge of his nose while praying to Einstein to grant him patience. “What’s going on with you? You clearly have something on your mind so–just say it. What’s wrong?” He asked, standing from the couch and in front of the godchild. His arms were crossed over his chest and he gave him a pointed look. Timmy visibly faltered and his eyes darted around the room, not reaching his eye. He shuffled his feet and rubbed the back of his neck, his lips opening and closing.

Jimmy sighed through his nose and waited, knowing that no matter what he said, he would be prepared and-

“I’m thinking of moving out.”

-yet he was not prepared to hear those words spill from the others lips. Jimmy’s arms slowly dropped to his sides and he blinked several times, his mind attempting to register what Timmy had just said to him.

“..Move out?” he whispered, not flinching when lightning flashed in the window again, illuminating the details on Timmy’s face. He felt his heart and stomach sink when he saw the serious look and he shook his head, wanting to believe his eyes and ears were merely playing tricks on him. But the brunette confirmed with a nod.

“Yeah, move out.” he repeated the words so easily and also firmly. It didn’t feel like an answer to the question he’d asked, but more like an immovable statement and that the genius had no say in the decision. He..wasn't sure how he felt about that.

“..Why are you suddenly saying this?” he asked, voice sounding higher than normal. Everything had been going so well between the two of them. They’d gotten along as they always had, and everything was going smoothly so hear this, it felt like Jimmy had just gotten struck in the face by a curveball. No, scratch that, it felt like a hole had been split open in his chest and every thud from his heartbeat made everything in him ache.

“Recently, I–I feel like I’m bothering you..All the time!” Timmy said, throwing his arms in the air and sounding exasperated all of a sudden. It was like a floodgate of emotions finally broke free and he was finally releasing everything at once. “I know you said it was fine for me to move in but I can’t help but feel like I’m constantly in your way or distracting you from work, and taking up your space and-”

“Turner, you never-” Jimmy tried to speak up but he didn’t let the genius finish.

“-and I just hate that I do it and I feel anxious about it all of the time since, I pretty much just invited myself into your home and your life without warning-” Timmy continued to ramble, not listening to a single thing that he was saying. He began to pace around as he spoke, continuing to point out apparently all the things he’d been observing and noticing the last several years. All of which were baseless assumptions but the godchild didn’t see it that way because Jimmy knew he wasn’t thinking rationally. He couldn’t reason with Timmy when he got like this, he always spiraled out of control and couldn’t be convinced otherwise once the thought was set in his head. But that wouldn't stop him from trying to detangle his thoughts and help him to see things as they were, and now what he assumed they were.

“Turner, listen to me for a sec okay?” Jimmy tried to intervene again, stepping closer to the other who was still rambling nonsense. He touched his forearm to get his attention and the gentle touch worked. He looked Timmy in the eye, looking carefully over his face as if that would give him a clue to what was going on and why he was so worked up. “I don't see you as a burden in any form. The last thing you do is bother me and I enjoy having you here, I always have. Where is all of this coming from?” This was entirely abnormal, Timmy never acted like he didn’t want to be there in the six years they’d live together. Was there something he had missed?

“I–I just have–” Timmy paused and then swallowed loudly. He shrugged away from his touch and crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head. “-Just forget it. It doesn’t matter anyway. What I say won’t change things so just forget it. I need to go because–” he looked away from him and whispered under his breath.  

“I feel like I’m being eaten alive.”

And with that, he moved away from Jimmy’s touch but it felt more like he had been ripped away. The feeling was numbing, it hurt and it ached and everything felt cold. Jimmy might as well be outside within the rain from the shudder and chill that had crawled up his spine, enveloping him. A swarm of questions and a confliction of feelings filled him. But the one that stuck out to him more than the others was why?

Jimmy was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of a door handle rattling. He moved quickly from the living to the entrance of the house and saw Timmy at the front door, rain jacket on and the door ajar. That snapped him out of the stunned trance he was in and he quickly gathered his bearings.

“Woah, wait Turner! Wait! Are you insane?!” He immediately protested, advancing towards him. “You can’t go out in the weather like this, especially when you’re not thinking properly! Please, just stay here and talk to me! Why are you feeling like you're-” He aimed to pull him back but the sleek fabric slipped between his fingertips and Timmy didn’t even spare him a glance this time.

“Don’t follow me.” he murmured, his voice barely audible above the rain. And with that, his pink hood was tossed over his head and he stepped outside, the door closing behind him. The sound of the door clicking resounded in the house and Jimmy stood there blankly, staring stupidly at the place where Timmy had once stood. He felt frozen in place, unable to comprehend the demands his brain was trying to send out to his body. It was telling him to move, telling him to go after Timmy but yet, he stayed where he was-

Thunder outside reverberated, echoing in the empty home and he jolted, snapping back into reality.

Not a second later, Jimmy ran to his closet and rummaged through it quickly, coats and hangers scattering down onto the floor. He yanked his own rain jacket and hurriedly put it on, flipping the hood over his head. The handle to the door was freezing when he touched it and he ripped it open before hurrying down the steps. The rain and winds were intense, stinging the palm of his hand when he tried to shield himself. He debated for a moment if he should call Goddard for help but decided not to, his main concern being to find Timmy as quickly as possible.

The genius peered up and down the street, finding it difficult to see with how intense the rain was but caught sight of a blurry pink figure. Luckily Timmy hadn’t gone very far yet but Jimmy could tell from where he stood that he was moving rapidly. He ran after him, water splattering beneath his feet and soaking his shoes. He didn’t pay attention to it though and shouted Timmy’s name once he got close enough.

“TURNER! Wait!” He waved his arm at him when the other turned his head at the sound of his name being called. “Turner! Will you just listen to me?!”

“I said don’t follow me! Just–go home!” Timmy snapped, turning away again. He continued to march wherever it was he had his mind set on while Jimmy trailed a few feet behind him, trying to catch up.

“Are you crazy?! I’m NOT leaving you out here by yourself!” Jimmy shouted back. He hissed when the wind blew harder, nearly ripping off his hood but he held onto it. Not that it really mattered, he was already drenched and the rain was seeping down his back already. Every step he took made a gross squelching sound and the feeling made him shudder. He peered at Timmy, who hadn’t stopped his walk despite being just as wet and he jogged a few steps, grabbing his arm before he could move further away.

“Turner, STOP! What are you running from?!” he yelled above the storm, gripping tightly onto Timmy’s wrist. The brunette was trying hard to get away from his grip. “Turner! Please! Just talk to me, please!” He pleaded, trying to pull him closer.

“I don’t want to talk!” Timmy argued, clawing at his hand while still refusing to look at him. His efforts were useless since he couldn’t get a good enough grip due to the rain. “I need space from you!”

“But you still haven’t said why!” Jimmy argued back, refusing to let go. The brunette could scratch him up for all he cared, he had no intention of letting the other go. No way, no how. “What did I do?! Why do you want to leave so suddenly?!” Lightning struck, flashing the sky with brief brightness and thunder boomed loudly afterwards. They both flinched and Timmy sunk his nails into Jimmy’s wrist, whether it was from fear or resistance, he didn't know. The godchild hung his head, his free hand clenched into a fist and he was trembling.

"Timmy, please.." he tried again, but that was apparently the wrong thing to say since Timmy tensed and turned on him.

“Because–I love you okay?!” Timmy snapped, finally whipping his head up to look at him. He clutched the center of his jacket tightly, lip wobbling while he spoke. ”There I said it alright, I said it! I’ve been in love with you since that–that night when we had slept together when we were teens! And-And I just can’t be in the house with you any more, hoping that one day you’ll finally notice me when I know that you won’t! I know that you won’t and it hurts me because I know I can’t change it!”

Timmy was breathing hard, his breaths coming out in puffs while he stared fiercely at Jimmy, who stood there foolishly with a blank expression on his face. It wasn’t everyday the person you loved actually felt the same way about you and yet, even though the moment he’d thought of was finally happening, he said..nothing. His mouth was open and not a single word was coming out. He watched helplessly when the godchild’s face fell, his shoulders sagging down and his bright eyes rapidly became dull.

“This..is exactly what I was afraid of.. And why I wanted to leave..” He said lowly, voice thickening. Timmy was blinking rapidly now and his lip was wobbling once more. “I can’t–I can’t be around you anymore, not when I feel like this. Knowing I won’t ever get the response I want, it's too much and I can’t handle it anymore..”

Jimmy wanted to say that he was wrong, about everything and that he wanted to make things work out between the two of them. But damn his voice, it was sealed shut and still nothing was coming out. Everything in him was screaming to do something, to say something and yet he still stood there like a buffoon. Timmy was starting to turn away from him and while he moved away, he finally slipped out of Jimmy’s grip, though his hold on him had lessened without him realizing. He hid his face in his hood and the godchild turned on the heel of his foot-

“I LOVE YOU!” Jimmy didn’t mean to shout the words as loudly as he did but it happened anyway. Maybe it was because he didn't want the rain to drown out his words or because his heart was tired of holding it in. Regardless, Timmy came to a stop, his shoes squeaking loudly. He tilted his head up and stared at him, droplets falling from his eyelashes and his mouth parted slightly. Hoy atoms, he was so beautiful, even when he was distressed like this, he was still so goddamn beautiful.

“..what?”

The question came out in a hushed whisper and was so quiet he almost hadn’t heard it. It didn’t help that the rain was still going, but it was beginning to lessen. The lightning had stopped and the thunder sounded further away, like it had finally decided to give them their space. Jimmy sucked in a breath and took a few bold steps forward to close the distance between them. He looked down at Timmy, who had remained where he was. His eyelashes fluttered when he looked up at him and he took a tentative step back but Jimmy kept him where he was by placing a hand on his clammy face. 

“..I said I love you.” he repeated, holding him carefully. He should’ve felt cold and numb to the touch but he didn’t. He was aflame and burning and he wanted more of it. “I’ve been in love with you too, I think I have been for years now but–I only realized it earlier this year.”

It was Timmy’s turn to be stunned into silence and had the situation not been serious, Jimmy would’ve laughed at the fact that they did the same exact facial expression. It reminded him of the day at the ceremony, when they had looked at one another. Those blue eyes of his were observant in a different way. Where Jimmy saw knowledge and potential, he saw..something else. It made him wonder just exactly what he saw when Timmy looked at him. 

“..why didn’t you say anything?” he whispered, looking almost pained that he’d kept such a secret hidden from him for so long.

“I’m sorry, really, I’m sorry,” Jimmy spoke quickly, knowing he had to tread carefully so as to not startle the other. Timmy wasn’t good with heavy things like this and to be honest, he wasn’t either. It was easy to say the things that were already known, the fears and irrationality that grow with you and swarm into your mouth before it can be controlled. But to have something new like this, it was delicate. It required tenderness and patience, like learning a new word or language. He swallowed and continued speaking.

“I swear I only just realized it a few months ago..at your graduation..” he paused, letting the information settle in before he kept going. “I’ve been wanting to tell you but..I didn’t know how..And I wanted to make sure I knew what I was feeling before saying something. It didn’t seem fair to say it when I didn’t know.” He pressed his fingers more firmly into Timmy’s face.“But I think I loved you for longer than that, you’re..the most amazing thing I’ve ever encountered and experienced in my life,” Jimmy whispered, not once letting his eyes stray away from his face. Timmy sucked in his breath, his eyes shifting while he struggled to maintain eye contact with him. “I want to spend all of my time with you, no matter what it is that we’re doing. I want you to be yours, and for you to be mine, forever.”

“..you told me you don’t believe in forever..” Timmy lightly teased to ease the seriousness of the situation. Ah, classic Turner, always turning to comedy when he was uncomfortable. Normally Jimmy would’ve been annoyed he was avoiding the topic but he heard the glimmer of fear in his voice. He knew what it meant for forever to come to an end, his godparents ended, his real parents ended, his friends ended, his entire life before Retroville had ended. Forever was a lie to Timmy.

“But you make me do,” Jimmy said, fingertips grazing against his hand. “Forever exists so long as I have you. Things move slowly when you’re with me and I fucking love it. I love waking up to you everyday, I love your dorky good morning messages even though I’m in the room next to yours. I love listening to you laugh and your dumb jokes. I love when we go to bed and how you always linger around a little longer then you say you will. I just love having you there and I want you to always be there.” He took in a breath and let go of Timmy’s face, his hand trailing downwards until their fingers grazed each other. He nudged his pinky against his at first, before looping them together loosely.

“So..please, stay. Stay with me.” he pleaded softly, pressing their foreheads together while droplets swept down their faces. He shut his eyes, trying to focus on everything happening in that moment. The feeling of Timmy’s touch, his smell, his warm breath brushing against his lips. “Don’t go..”

Jimmy opened his eyes again when fingers touched his jaw, tickling the stubble he had there. Timmy’s expression was already looking at him, his head tilted slightly and his eyes looking the brightest he’d ever seen them. And then he did the one thing that absolutely weakened Jimmy’s knees that he feared that they would collapse beneath him.

He smiled.

“Okay,” he said with a gentle nod before his eyes softened. “I’m sorry-”

“Don’t-don’t it’s-” Jimmy breathed out a shaky sigh of relief, eyes watering that he’d gotten so close to losing him. He enveloped Timmy in his arms and held onto him, never wanting to let go again. “It’s okay, we can talk later. You’re here and that's what matters.”

Timmy said nothing but nodded before he sighed loudly, sinking into Jimmy’s arm like that night they’d slept together. It made him wonder how long he’d been wanting to do that for but they had all the time in the world to make it up to the other now. He’d do everything in his power to erase his worries and fears, they’d challenge their demons together and in the process, learn how to handle this delicate love.

“The rain is stopping..” Timmy murmured, pulling away from the hug to look at Jimmy again. His eyes flickered from his eyes to Jimmy’s mouth a couple of times and his heart skipped a beat at the thought he was likely having. He had leaned closer, the air between them feeling even warmer when their breath intermingled. Jimmy huffed a short laugh, his body starting to tingle at their close proximity.

“Yeah..it is..” he said, closing the distance between them, their lips finally finding each other and melding into a sweet kiss.

A kiss in the rain, cliche of course, but neither of them gave a damn. They were already both soaking wet and would surely get sick from this. What mattered is that they had one another, and had given each other what they’d sought for for so long; the whole of their love and of their hearts. They rocked gently together, carrying on with their sweet kiss in the middle of the rain. A new heat emerged in the center of their chests and they pressed closer together for warmth.

Together. Connected. Forever.

They say the traditional drawing of a heart is rather strange, since the anatomical version is vastly different. However, when two hearts become stitched together with the strings of emotion, they represent the shape of love in its most beautiful state. The process of conjoining can be messy and even a little painful, but once created, it becomes one of the purest forms of beauty as it is from the most intimate depths of the body. And if separated, it bleeds but holds the scars of love regardless until sowed anew.

Love is hypnotizing, igniting, and raw.

Cherish it.