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"You're staring."
Alhaitham blinks and finally takes his eyes away from the gold on Tighnari's ring finger. He takes a quick drink from his cup, hiding his gaze behind its rim.
"You're also tense, stop doing whatever you're doing."
He and Kaveh started dating just a couple of weeks ago. And Alhaitham is dreading the fact that they don't look like a couple at all. He shouldn't be caring about other people's perception of them, but it's hard not to compare when they are friends with a newly wed couple.
Today was a total disaster.
They gathered in the tavern, as usual. But Alhaitham's wandering mind kept clinging to the smallest shows of affection Tighnari and Cyno were never shy of putting on display. All the small touches, open smiles, stolen glances, leaning into each other's spaces. Since he started dating with Kaveh, Alhaitham couldn't help but notice all those little details he barely payed attention to before. He couldn't help but want to try and do the same either.
First, he takes a look at Tighnari and Cyno's hands. Leisurely laying on the table between them, their fingers intertwined with each other as they idly engage in the conversation. Cyno takes his hand away for a second, gesturing something in the air while he tells a story, but then he slides it right back into Tighnari's hold, as if natural.
That should be easy, Alhaitham thinks. Simple, not explicit, a good place to start. And Kaveh's hand is also conveniently on the table. Giving himself a short mental nod of approval, Alhaitham confidently reaches out to place his hand on top of Kaveh's.
Kaveh flinches at the contact, almost jumping up, the wine in his other hand spilling over the edge, staining the sleeve of his shirt with red. Alhaitham immediately retreats his hand, instead grabbing some paper tissues to help him remove the excess of wine from the fabric.
"Don't worry, it'll wash out!" Kaveh assures, rubbing the stain, but the look on his face is now tinted with upset.
Alhaitham returns back to his place, lips pressed in a thin line.
The first attempt did not work.
Some time later, he scrutinizes the couple in front of them again. Cyno's arm is braced over the couch's headrest behind Tighnari's back, while Tighnari leans on him, clearly enjoying the proximity.
That shouldn't be hard, Alhaitham thinks. He won't be pushing anything on Kaveh and won't startle him, Kaveh can just lean back on him whenever he pleases. Perfect, he should try that.
Taking a small breath in, Alhaitham rests his arm on the couch behind Kaveh's back and starts waiting, while Kaveh is engaged in an active conversation with their friends, leaning forward on the table.
Five minutes have passed.
Ten.
Fifteen minutes.
Slowly, Alhaitham returns his arm back.
What is he doing wrong and why is it so awkward?
He's never done these things before and feels like a teenager trying to get attention of his crush, except he's nearing his thirties and his crush is literally his partner, so he feels even more silly.
Hands fidgeting under the table, he secretly watches their friends from under his furrowed brows again. They look so natural sitting close to each other, so at ease, and then here they are, Alhaitham and Kaveh, sitting almost a meter away from each other. Nobody would even start to suspect that they are dating. Maybe Kaveh doesn't want people to know that they are a couple? Like he didn't want them to know that they live together?
Alhaitham's heart stings, and he tries to brush away the feeling.
"I'm gonna get us more drinks." Cyno announces, standing up from the table, "Do you want something to eat, Nari?"
"No, thank you," Tighnari answers, leaning to give his partner a chaste kiss on the cheek.
"I'll go too!" Kaveh steps in, "Do you want anything, Haitham?"
This is my chance, Alhaitham thinks.
"Just a glass of water, thanks." He says hastly and surges forward to give Kaveh a quick kiss.
Except, Kaveh is already standing up, hurrying to follow their friend, Alhaitham's intensions flying over his head completely.
Alhaitham's eyes follow their figures until they disappear down the stairs that lead to the first floor. He then turns back to their table, his gaze unintentionally falling on Tighnari's engagement ring.
How can he think about proposing to Kaveh if he can't even hold his hand in public?
"You're staring." Tighnari points out, "You're also tense, stop doing whatever you're doing."
"I'm not doing anything." Alhaitham retorts, trying to relax his composure.
"Sure, and that pout on your face is just a play of my own imagination."
Alhaitham clears his throat, trying to fix his expression. Was he that obvious? Well, at least Kaveh is oblivious enough to miss his miserable attempts, or he wouldn't ever let him live that down.
"If you want to hold his hand or sit closer why don't you just tell him?" Tighnari asks, munching on snacks.
"If we discuss and schedule every little thing in advance, where's romance in that?" Alhaitham asks back, "And I don't see you and Cyno doing it either."
"That's because we've been together long enough. Also, you of all people should know the importance of words for the establishment of proper communication. And it's no less romantic."
Tighnari has a valid point.
Alhaitham takes another sip of wine.
"Did you also talk through it when you started dating?"
"Of course." Tighnari answers without thinking. "Believe me, talking it through feels a lot less embarrassing than behaving like a wet cat in the middle of the tavern."
He raises his eyebrows pointedly, but before Alhaitham could answer, Kaveh and Cyno are already back, Kaveh handing him a glass of iced water, just how he likes it. Alhaitham brings it up to his lips, watching Tighnari and Cyno slotting back into each other's spaces naturally.
The rest of the evening goes as usual. When they separate with their friends and head back home, the streets are not yet completely empty. People mingle here and there as they move down the street, keeping a little distance from each other.
Recalling Tighnari's words, Alhaitham finally finds the courage to ask.
"Kaveh." He calls, making a pause in his steps, and Kaveh looks back at him, question in his eyes, cheeks flushed from the alcohol, "Can we hold hands?"
Red tint on Kaveh's face becomes even more evident, but despite that, he walks to Alhaitham, quickly closing the distance.
"Sure, we can hold hands." He says, gently grasping Alhaitham's hand in a tight lock.
They look each other in the eyes for a moment before starting to move forward, side by side. Their connected hands are barely visible to the public's eyes, hiding behind their capes and sashes, but the sheer fact of them doing it was making warmth pool in Alhaitham's stomach. He squeezes Kaveh's hand more tightly.
"Is that what you were trying to do earlier?" Kaveh asks, and then giggles so brightly all the excuses die instantly in Alhaitham's throat, "Sorry I got scared, you just grabbed my hand so suddenly, I didn't expect it! And I haven't done anything like that before so I was nervous to try myself later."
"I was nervous too." Alhaitham confesses.
"You were?" Kaveh turns to him, surprised.
"Mhm," Alhaitham confirms, as they make another turn, "I've never done anything like that either."
"Oh.."
They walk for a while, and when they almost approached their home, Kaveh suddenly stops. Alhaitham turns to look at him expectedly.
"Haitham, then would you mind if next time I will also do this, when people are around?"
"By 'this' you mean.."
He doesn't get to finish the sentence because Kaveh takes Alhaitham's hand he was holding in both of his and brings it up to press his lips firmly to its knuckles, keeping it there. Kaveh's eyes glint in the light of the street lamp as he waits for Alhaitham to answer. Alhaitham's breath stills for a moment.
"Sure," he whispers, enamored by the sight. He then bring up his other hand, tucking a strand curl of Kaveh's hair behind his ear, "Then," Alhaitham pauses, uncertain, but then decides to continue anyway, "Can I do this, when people are around?"
He leans down, angling his head, slowly closing the distance until his lips softly meet the corner of Kaveh's mouth, not quite kissing. When he feels Kaveh's breath tremble against his cheek and blonde eyelashes flutter against his skin, Alhaitham has to fight the urge to claim his mouth properly, and instead pulls back to wait for the answer.
"Th–That's a little too much for the start, don't you think?" Kaveh yelps in whisper, averting his gaze.
Alhaitham feels blush creeping up his ears.
"Oh. It is?"
"Yeah! Well, we can do that later, of course, but we should start with the smaller things. I think."
Alhaitham smiles, excited for all the small things they will be able to do now when out in public.
"Okay. It's fine by me."