Work Text:
Wildest dreams
“Someday when you leave me
I bet these memories
Follow you around”
“Stiles I swear to God, if you don’t stop moving right now, next time we’re filming a plane scene, I’m throwing you off. And I will make it look like an accident.”
And he’d love to stay still, really, but there’s a problem: he’s in hype. Because when he signed the contract and accepted the script, or when he left the comfort of his loft in favor of the foreign country where the set is located, he wouldn’t even start to imagine about finding himself exchanging half glances with his co-star. But that’s what is happening even in that very moment. So.
***
Sometimes, Stiles finds himself thinking about the whole situation – when he’s not filming, not in the heat of the few private moments, and he wonders if he’d even liked Derek if they met in a different way.
Derek Hale, actor extraordinaire, known for his good performances as much as for his good looks, or his impressive length of good looking ex girlfriends. Stiles never met him before the day they saw each other on set, had been introduced to each other as co-protagonists. Honestly, Stiles didn’t even like him that much at the beginning, maybe because he had this image of him clear in the back of his mind, already knew what to expect of him.
In these moments, when he thinks about all of it, he almost hates Derek for not being what he expected.
***
Scott left him alone a couple of minutes ago, probably following his crush into the make-up artists’ caravan, but Stiles isn’t complaining. For as much as he loves talking and how very much loves his work, he also enjoys some quiet time for himself – a rare thing now that he’s on set. So now he’s just sitting at the edge of the set, a bottle of water loosely held in his hands, eyes trained on the wild life he can see if he squints his eyes just a tiny bit. He doesn’t move when he feels someone sitting down next to him, doesn’t even stir a little. He’s therefore surprised when he realizes who it is.
“They’re mesmerising, really, such majestic creatures.” Stiles’ first instinct is to whip his head so fast he’d probably break his neck, but he resists it, turns instead slowly to find Hale next to him, crouched down – eyes trained on the horizon. He doesn’t move, doesn’t look at him even when Stiles lets his eyes wander in his direction. Stiles takes then his time just to take in the features of him, all sharp angles making him look like he’s chiselled in marble, groomed scruff covering his cheeks, soft light of the setting sun making him look somehow softer himself.
He’s a thing of beauty, Stiles finds himself thinking at some point – and the thought himself is enough for him to clear his head and realize that he hasn’t answered anything yet.
His focus moves back to the felines he can barely see now, mere shapes of black against the orange of the sky, and he nods.
“They look so different from the ones I always saw in the zoos. Much more… confident, I guess. Like they wouldn’t mind if we went to close, just kept napping or whatever because they’d know they could just… leap and eat us, or something like that.”
He finishes with an awkward shrug and is bracing himself for a silence just as awkward when he notes that Hale’s nodding along with what he’s saying. Like. He agrees with what Stiles is saying. And is not making fun of him.
He still isn’t turning, but maybe it’s for the best. At least he won’t see the way Stiles is now smiling.
***
After that episode, they started spending time together when off set; Stiles discovered that Hale wasn’t so despicable, had virtues and flaws like any other human being (which, somehow, made him look more perfect than he already was in the eyes of the younger man but whatever).
He still remembers the one moment he stopped calling him Hale.
***
Three weeks into filming, there’s a blackout. It happens while the sun is still high in the sky, and it isn’t a tragedy, but all the lights and machineries are out of service. The crew is given the day off – and once again, Scott is quick to disappear.
(Stiles isn’t going to inquire, last time he had wanted to bleach his brain after Scott started his painstakingly detailed description of his amorous encounter.)
He’s however left all by himself again, not having bonded that much with anyone on set, not really, and he’s thinking about maybe looking through his luggage to see if he has a book, maybe just going back to sleep, when someone murmurs in his ear.
“Let’s get out of here while no one is looking.”
Stiles nearly shouts, and he does jump a little.
“Sweet baby Jesus, warn a guy next time! I swear to God, Hale, you just appear from nowhere every time. Like, one second you’re not here, the other you suddenly are.” And he’s laughing, still a little breathless from being scared – not noticing how the pleased smile on the other man’s face changes first into confusion, then into a frown. By the time he’s turning, Hale has a neutral expression, but he still has a hand on his shoulder and he’s using it to make him move along.
“C’mon, nobody’s paying attention, and we have the day off. We could visit around here.” He shrugs, but there’s something almost hesitant in how he’s looking at Stiles, like he’s expecting some kind of rejection.
Stiles has however no intention of saying no, so he nods and starts walking.
They end up spending the day nearby a waterfall just twenty minutes away from the main set, and once again Stiles is surprised when noticing just how well they get along, how at ease he is. He’s talking, hands moving in wide gestures, when he notices that Hale’s looking at him intently.
“What – do I have something on my face? Oh my god, I hate it when it happens!” he asks, already swiping his sleeve on his cheek. He’s not expecting the other man to shake his head the way he does, eyebrows scrunching down in what could either be a pensive or pissed off expression. Hale then open his mouth like he wants to say something, then closes it again. That does get Stiles’ attention. What is he trying to say that’s so difficult he needs more than one try?
“There’s – there’s no need for you to call me with my last name. You can call me Derek.” He says at the end, his eyes turning to look somewhere over Stiles’ shoulders.
And Stiles is gaping at him, because he didn’t think that was what was bothering him all along.
He feels a rush of affection for the man and – whoa, the undertone of lust he always feels is a thing, but affection? Stiles bites down on his lower lip and shakes his himself minutely, before giving Ha – Derek, before giving Derek his best smile.
“Well, then you can call me Stiles. Which I’m realizing now you were already doing, okay, nevermind.” When Stiles looks up again, he meets the older man’s eyes – and a barely restrained smile. It makes him feel like he ate butterflies for lunch and maybe even for breakfast.
***
This doesn’t imply that things between them are idyllic. Sure, Stiles’ pretty sure he couldn’t be more of a cliché if he tried (and he’s talking about sparks flying, fireworks exploding in the background and choirs of angels singing when they first kissed, so he knows what a cliché is), but really, sometimes Derek is such a smug bastard that he’d just punch him in the face. He’s moody and a perfectionist, and it doesn’t matter how earth shattering the feeling of warm lips pressed between his shoulder blades first thing in the morning is, Stiles can’t stand such behaviour. There’s also the fact that they’re keeping everything a secret, whatever this thing between the two of them is. And it’s killing him, even if they decided it together.
***
It’s just a couple of weeks after they spent that day away from filming, and they’re laying in bed, breath still a little heavy, covers reaching barely their naked middles. Derek’s hand is moving along Stiles’ back, mindlessly drawing patterns on his skin. The lithe man is just basking in the post-orgasm haze, head pillowed on the other man’s chest, hand resting over his heart. It’s a new development between them, but it’s definitely not unwelcomed, going by that’s not the first time they find themselves in such a situation.
“We should keep this just between us.” Derek says, and the feeling of his chest vibrating against Stiles’ cheek while he talks is enough to distract him for a moment, giving the bigger man time to keep talking.
“It could create some kind of scandal, and the director would kill us both.” He shrugs, his hand never stopping from the caressing motion on the other’s back. Stiles doesn’t really know what to say, but he isn’t opposed to it, so he ends up shrugging as well and saying “Yeah, okay, whatever you want.”
***
The closer they get to the end of filming, the worst thing get between them.
They’ll fight filming a scene, Stiles screaming some kind of obscenity before storming out, Derek muttering darkly under his breath and kicking everything that had the misfortune of ending in his path.
Scott, ever the best friend one guy could ever ask, is starting to get worried about him – and it makes Stiles feel like the worst human being on planet Earth because, for some strange reason, he still hasn’t told him anything about himself and Derek. He still gets incredibly frustrated when his friend tries to defend the other actor when Stiles is ranting about how Hale’s such a fucking brat, but he’s mainly frustrated with himself.
Because it doesn’t matter how many times they fight, how the words they throw at each other hurt like knives cutting through flesh, he’s still insanely attracted to the man. And won’t ever dare to start a scandal.
He’s willing to forget everything they’ve said to each other and look just at the few happy moments they share when secluded from the rest of the world.
***
It’s no surprise when – once everything is wrapped up and only needs editing and therefore no actors are needed anymore and they’re sent back home – they don’t keep in touch. Stiles will always spare him a thought, but his life goes on.
He spends time with his father, makes it up to Scott for the lost bro time, meets up with Lydia for their weekly coffee date. It’s a quiet couple of months – then the promoting part of the whole process starts, and suddenly Stiles is releasing interviews, smiling at cameras, joking with the interviewers. (He’s always been good at using his humour to make people think of him as the witty, funny one, so it’s an easy thing.)
And, just as swiftly, the premiere is right behind the corner and – and Stile is now realising he’ll see him again. So what if he fidgets more than usual!, no one is there to see him. (He’s forcefully ignoring the way Lydia looks at him. It isn’t his fault the woman seems to know everything. Even when she knows nothing.)
***
The night of the red carpet comes after a very long day of getting presentable for the standards of cameras and gossip magazines, but that’s something Stiles got more or less used to after the couple of times he had to attend – so he’s able to let his mind wander from thought to thought while he’s getting ready. He isn’t quite sure that it’s for the best, because maybe, if he was more engaged in the whole thing, he wouldn’t have spent all that time thinking about him and God forbids he starts acting like a lovestruck teenager all over again. He’s done his share of it in those months they’ve spent together and is completely over Derek fucking Hale, thank you very much.
(He is not feeling trepidation and little persistent butterflies in his stomach, shut up, he is not.)
And he’s almost convinced himself of it when he arrives at the theatre (a winning smile already gracing his lips, features schooled in something approachable), but then he sees him all tall and handsome and so much better than in his memories and – being kissed by some brunette woman, apparently. Some gorgeous brunette woman, if Stiles is to be honest.
He feels like laughing and maybe crying a little, just for how extremely stupid he’s feeling in that moment, but that’s not the right moment. So he smiles some more, winks at some fan, greets some colleagues. And if he’s lucky, no one will be able to notice how the smile never reaches his eyes.
Once they’re all seated down inside, once the lights dim and disappear and the first images appear on the screen, then Stiles allows himself to let his thoughts run free. It’s not pleasant; they get stuck in a loop of self deprecation and hurt, getting worse when he turns and sees Derek already looking at him with unreadable expression. It’s not much better turning and watching how the story is coming to an end also on the screen.
So – he just runs, the moment the film is over, while everyone is still clapping. He just gets up from his seat and runs, right out of the room, right out in the desert street. He runs and doesn’t looks back, getting into the car waiting for him and asking to just get away as soon as possible.
(He doesn’t look back, not ever once, and he never sees Derek panting out his name after the car that’s long gone.)