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The curse goes down almost easily, but the taste it leaves behind is more vile than usual and Suguru distantly thinks that it has to be one or the other. Apparently he can’t have only good things. He chokes back some bile, but the taste in his mouth is appalling and only adds fuel to the fire that is currently roaring in his stomach.
“Is it bad?” Satoru asks, having finished off the curse Suguru didn’t want and Suguru wants to answer, wants to say something biting and sarcastic because what kind of question is that even, but he fears that when he opens his mouth he might as well bend over immediately.
Suguru hasn’t had to throw up due to a curse in a while but this might just break his streak.
“I guess so,” Satoru whispers when Suguru still doesn’t answer him and Suguru presses a hand to his mouth before he nods.
The movement doesn’t upset his stomach further which is like the tiniest of wins he could hope for but he’ll take it.
“I brought chocolate, in case you want it? It might help with the taste,” Satoru says and rummages around in his pockets.
It might help with the taste, or it might make everything worse—both cases have been true in the past for Suguru but he thinks that today he’ll take the risk, that’s how vile the curse was. If he has to throw up due to the chocolate, then at least the taste of the curse will be drowned out by the taste of bile.
It’s not ideal, but Suguru would take it.
“Ah, here it is,” Satoru finally says and proudly presents a pretty, pink package to Suguru. Suguru’s heart drops when he sees it, because it’s Valentine’s chocolate; especially packaged for this day, with a bold ‘Will you be my Valentine’ printed in gold on it.
And it doesn’t mean shit.
“Here, take this, maybe it helps,” Satoru says, offering the chocolate to Suguru and for a moment Suguru forgets about the shitty taste in his mouth. For a moment all he tastes is bitterness, entirely made up of his own feelings.
“Thank you,” he finally manages to get out when Satoru shakes his hand slightly and Suguru doesn’t dare to look at Satoru as he takes it.
Satoru must not know what it means, must not know what day it is today and he probably thinks it’s absolutely hilarious that the chocolate today comes with stupid questions and hearts, Suguru rationalises. That must be it.
Still, the thought of eating the chocolate and having to look at Satoru while he does so makes his stomach flip over with unhappiness and so when he unwrapped the chocolate he simply swallows it whole.
It doesn’t do much for the taste, if he’s being honest, because Suguru barely gave it time to melt in his mouth before he choked it down but that doesn’t matter.
“Uhm,” Satoru says, eying him warily. “Did that help at all? Did you even taste that?” he finally asks and Suguru shrugs.
“It’s fine,” he says, even though it’s not fine, still. The taste of the curse still lingers on his tongue and he did swallow the chocolate too quickly to even know if it was normal chocolate, or the slightly bitter one Suguru prefers.
Though he guesses on a day like this, bitter chocolate is not very popular.
“I don’t think I have a second one,” Satoru says and starts to pat down his pants, as if he could produce another chocolate that way.
“I said it’s fine,” Suguru gives back, his breathing carefully controlled so that he doesn’t throw up belatedly and he cringes slightly when Satoru levels him with a look.
“You’re as white as a sheet, Suguru, you’re clearly not fine. I saw a café down the street, we should stop there, get some coffee into you. That always helps you, right? They probably have some sweets, too, maybe even little cakes? Come on, that will do you some good, alright?”
Satoru is rambling as he takes Suguru’s arm to drag him along the street and Suguru stumbles after him before he remembers himself.
“Satoru, we shouldn’t. Yaga said to come right back after this mission,” Suguru reminds him, because the thought of being with Satoru in a café on this day upsets him more than any curse ever could.
It would mean the world to Suguru, it would mean nothing at all to Satoru and it would give the wrong impression to everyone in that café and Suguru simply can’t do it.
“Then lets just get a coffee to go for you, Suguru, you clearly still feel bad and I’m sorry my chocolate didn’t help at all. Let me treat you to coffee, so that you can actually give your report to Yaga without throwing up on his shoes, okay?”
Suguru narrows his eyes at Satoru.
“Are you feeling okay?” he asks, before he swallows rapidly when he can feel bile rising in his throat again.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Satoru gives back and Suguru briefly shakes his head before he closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths.
He only speaks again when he thinks it’s safe to do so.
“You would normally jump on an opportunity like that. You’d find it funny.”
“Seeing you barf on Yaga’s shoes? Hell yes,” Satoru immediately agrees. “But you’d hate it. You hatehate feeling this way, so I’m not going to make it worse. I do know boundaries, Suguru.”
Suguru opens his mouth to reassure Satoru that he knows that, but Satoru doesn’t give him the chance to do so.
“Come now, I won’t even make you go in there, okay? I have your order memorised anyway, so you just wait outside and I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
Satoru continues to drag Suguru along the street but true to his words he doesn’t make him enter the café with him. Suguru can see him through the window, can read the orders right off Satoru’s lips, filling in the gaps from memory, and Suguru does his very best to not take note of all the couples around, of the glaring Valentine’s Day decoration of the pink colour everywhere.
He would love to spend this day with Satoru and actually have it mean something, but he knows that it can’t be, that it will never be, and so the generic brown cup Satoru presses into his hand eventually is the only thing he’ll get today.
And even so, he’ll gladly take it, because at least that means Satoru is at his side, no matter in what capacity.
~*~*~
They report to Yaga, they shower and change and take some down-time and by the time dinner rolls around Suguru feels like himself again, the taste of the curse long forgotten.
“Suguru!” Satoru yells out just a second before he barges into Suguru’s room. “We’re going out for dinner today!” he declares and unease fills Suguru’s chest.
“No, we’re not,” he shoots back, pressing himself more firmly into the couch because there is no way in hell that he’ll go out with Satoru on this day, to do something that can be read as romantic when it doesn’t mean anything to Satoru.
Suguru is not going to hurt himself like that.
“Aw, Suguru, I placed a reservation, though. We kind of have to go.”
“Take Shoko,” Suguru shortly says, willing Satoru to take the hint and finally leave him alone, but of course it’s not working because things like that never work on Satoru.
“Absolutely not, I’m not going out for dinner with her and have you stay here.”
“Satoru, please,” Suguru sighs out. “I don’t feel like going out.”
Satoru works his jaw a few times before he deflates. “Fine. I’ll go pick the food up. What do you want?”
This is so not what Suguru wants and he winces when he opens his mouth to correct Satoru.
“I don’t feel like being in company right now, Satoru. I want to eat alone today.”
That seems to catch Satoru completely off guard because he freezes where he stands.
“That doesn’t make any sense. I’m not company, I’m—whatever I am, you never complain about my presence, not once, not even when being around other people gets too much for you, I was always good. What is going on, Suguru?”
There’s a defiant note to his tone now and his entire stance has changed, as if Satoru is bracing for battle and in all honesty, it just makes Suguru feel bad. Everything Satoru just said is the truth after all and Suguru doesn’t know how to explain it.
“What the hell is up with you today?” Satoru asks when Suguru stays silent for too long and Suguru sighs.
It seems he’ll have to say something.
“I don’t know if you know this,” he starts with because with Satoru’s upbringing it’s always hit or miss with these cultural celebrations and traditions, “but it’s Valentine’s Day today. Or as others like to call it, Singles Awareness Day.”
Suguru tries to joke and he doesn’t even know why, because a hint of bitterness creeps into his voice. He has never minded Valentine’s Day much, but now that he actually has someone he wants to spend it with, it seems like the worst day ever.
“Single’s Awareness Day, that’s funny,” Satoru says, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “I’m very aware that I’m single, and I’m very aware that you’re single. And I’m trying to make us not be that.”
Suguru feels as if his heart is missing a beat before a dull pain spreads in his chest. So that is it. Satoru wants to go out to set Suguru up with someone. Or to set himself up with someone? But that doesn’t make any sense, and Suguru shakes his head in his confusion.
“I don’t—you want to go out to find a date?” he asks for clarification and he doesn’t know what to do when Satoru groans and slaps a hand to his face.
“I’m trying to make us date, Suguru,” he gets out, “but you’re not being very helpful.”
“You want to date someone?” Suguru doesn’t know what to do with that information. He was under the impression that Satoru doesn’t want.
“You! I want to date you, goddamit, Suguru, why do you have to be so difficult?” Satoru almost yells out and Suguru blinks.
“But you don’t want,” he finally mutters and watches how confusion washes over Satoru’s face.
“Huh?” Satoru very eloquently asks and Suguru swallows.
“You—I overheard you, when you rejected that girl a few weeks back. You said you’re not into girls. And then a few days later, the same with that man, where you said you’re not into guys, either. So I just—you’re not into anyone, right?”
“Oh dear gods,” Satoru groans out. “I’m not into anyone, because I’m into you.”
“Into me,” Suguru repeats and his brain has a hard time comprehending what Satoru is saying. “You want to date me.”
“Yes, Suguru, I want to date you,” Satoru agrees and comes closer, dropping down to his knees in front of Suguru. “Can you please just get that into your head now so you can reject me in that kind way of yours? I can take a hint, you know.”
“Reject you?” That is the furthest thing from Suguru’s mind right now and he doesn’t understand where Satoru would get that from. “Why would I reject you?”
“Because you’re clearly not into me? I mean, you swallowed that chocolate whole—impressive, by the way—and you rejected my offer for a coffee date and now even for a dinner date. I might be a bit dense but three time’s the charm, as they say, right?”
“No!” Suguru almost yells out and fists his hand in Satoru’s shirt. “I just thought—I thought you didn’t want anyone, let alone me, so I was trying to dodge these situations because I want.”
Satoru blinks at him.
“Okay, but do you want me?” he then carefully asks, as if Suguru could ever say no to that.
“Yes! Yes, I do. Of course I want you, Satoru, and if I had known I would have cherished that chocolate and I would have agreed to that coffee date.”
“Alright,” Satoru says with a smile and Suguru is surprised to find a light blush on his face. “What about a dinner date, then?” Satoru asks, though clearly he must know the answer to that by now.
“I would love to go on a date with you,” Suguru says, just so that there can be no more misunderstandings and Satoru beams at him.
“Wonderful,” he says and then leans up to brush his lips over the corner of Suguru’s mouth. “Just getting a taste of dessert, don’t mind me,” he whispers as he pulls back and Suguru can’t have that.
“Why stop at a taste?” he asks, before he pulls Satoru back in and this time there is nothing fleeting about the way their lips press together.
“You’re always so right, Suguru,” Satoru happily mutters as they part, though he doesn’t move away far. “And since I’m a glutton, we’ll just do that again,” he then decides and leans right back in.
By the time they remember that there’s an actual date to have, it’s five minutes to their reservation and there’s no way they’ll ever make that, so they do end up ordering in.
Which is just as fine, because that gives them time to enjoy their dessert whenever they damn well please, and if it is between bites of their actual dinner, well, there’s no one around to judge them for it.