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Chat Noir sat on a peaceful rooftop, his back resting, not wholly uncomfortably, against a brick chimney. It might have been uncomfortable if he considered how long he'd been sitting there, unmoved, in the same position. It might have been uncomfortable if he'd thought about how stiff his legs were, or if he'd bothered to notice the crick in his neck.
But as his glowing cat eyes cracked open to welcome the early dawn, the sight, sound, and feel of Ladybug's head in his lap reminded him that this was the most comfortable he'd ever been in his life. Even if there was a roof tile wedging a groove into his butt cheek.
Had they slept there all night?
Well duh, obviously they must have. Otherwise the sun wouldn't be painting a scenery so sublime it could hang on the walls of the Louvre itself.
Ladybug shifted slightly in his lap; the gorgeous sunrise that he awoke to admire was framing the silhouette of her, apparently offending his lovely lady's eyes. Her hand darted up to her face to block out the light, with a small groan that he could easily translate as 'how dare you wake me up.'
"Good morning, My Lady," he cooed. He dared to brush his fingertips down her hair, which was all messed up from a long night napping in his lap.
"Mmhmm. Morning, Kitty," she murmured.
Chat smiled happily, torn between the reaction that he hoped for, versus the reaction he knew would inevitably come in Three... Two... One…
"CHAT?!" she sputtered, her head rising quickly from his lap with a flustered blush. She lifted herself up on two hands and blinked at him.
Chat immediately noticed a glaring problem with her position, but brushed past it.
"Yes, M'Lady?" he purred, smiling back at her. He hoped his calm demeanour would ground her, gently reminding her how they ended up, exhausted after a battle, asleep on a quiet rooftop.
"We... We slept here all night?" she said in a softer voice, squinting at him through the morning sun's rays.
"It appears so," he answered, glad his gentle tactic had worked. Though he thought by now she might have moved, quickly shifted out of his lap, or pulled away from him in embarrassment, as she tended to do. She did not.
Not that he didn't welcome every moment of her proximity to him, but with her dazed awakening came a problem directly related to that proximity.
He shifted a little, wiggling under her in the hopes that she might move. Just... just a little. He didn't want to call attention to the problem.
"What's wrong?" She still hadn't moved. Chat froze for a moment and chuckled almost nervously.
"Nothing, M'Lady. Stiff back is all." He smiled, his eyes darting down to hers. Chat realized very quickly that looking at her was a terrible idea right now. He darted his eyes to the picturesque sunrise.
"Sure is pretty out here, huh?" he asked, wiggling again in the hopes that she would sit up or shuffle down. Maybe he should just scoop her up and plop her into his lap?
Though that would likely only exacerbate the problem.
Ok, maybe that wasn't a good choice of word for his brain to use at the moment either. Too close to other words that might be relevant later if she didn't move her hand away, and quick.
Ladybug nodded, glancing out over the skyline. "Mmhmm. Better, seeing it here with you."
At last, Chat could take no more. He wouldn't be so bold as to physically remove her, and he certainly didn't want to draw attention to the embarrassment of the situation, but if she didn't stop being so wonderful, his little problem would quickly become a much bigger problem.
"Uhhh... M'Lady?" He squirmed. Her beautiful blue eyes whipped back to his, the painted hues of sunrise captured in their reflection.
"Yes, Chaton?"
He began to 'hmn' and 'hah' nervously, clearing his throat. She watched him quizzically with an innocently sleepy expression.
"Could you... maybe... move your hand?" he asked in a very quiet voice.
Ladybug glanced down immediately and realized, to her horror, that she had been propping herself up in his lap, with one hand firmly placed on top of his groin.
How the hell had she not noticed?
She could have died. Right then, right there. In fact, maybe she did die. Because how could she possibly live with that embarrassment?
"OH. MY. GOD. CHAT! I'm so sorry!" She scurried quickly away, completely aghast, babbling apologies like a rippling brook.
"Don't worry about it." He exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding, simultaneously relieved and equally disappointed by the loss of her warmth in his lap.
"Of course I'll worry about it! Oh my god, I can't believe..." She kept on babbling, and he shifted his legs into a more comfortable position, adjusting himself quickly while her back was turned.
"It's fine, Bugaboo," he insisted. His face was growing redder as her discomfort at the situation made him realize that, of course, it wasn't fine. Though it might be fine to him (maybe even welcome), it was very much not fine for her. Then he felt guilty, even though he hadn't even done anything, really.
"But it's not fine! I totally violated you!"
"Violated me?" Chat couldn't help but let out a sharp laugh. "Hardly!"
Her pink blush turned quickly into deep red cheeks that puffed out in that cute way she did when she was miffed at him.
"It doesn't matter what you think; what matters is that it was wrong and it shouldn't have happened."
"Really, it's alright. It's not like you did it on purpose. No harm done."
Ladybug's eyes darted to and fro, as if searching for more reasons why he should be mad at her. Like she wanted him to be mad at her—but he couldn't be mad at her for that. If anything, he should be mad at himself. For not moving or mentioning it immediately. His indecision about the situation had her hand lingering there for far longer than she would have liked. And for far less time than he secretly may have wanted. Which in itself was a problem, which made him feel even worse for not saying something sooner.
Ladybug stood up suddenly, and for a moment he thought she was going to leave. He actually reached out, trying to catch her wrist before she took off. But she didn't leave; she turned to face him with a huff, her face determined. He quickly put his hand down, realizing she wasn't running away like she normally might.
"I'm giving you a free shot," she said resolutely, her mouth curled into a small frown.
Chat blinked at her. "A what?" He couldn’t comprehend what she meant. Did she want him to hit her? For accidentally touching him?
Ladybug shuffled her feet. "You know, a free shot. I touched you inappropriately. I need to make up for it. So you get to touch me inappropriately. One touch, on a body part of your choice." She lifted her arms out on either side of her, as if to emphasize her point and give him easier access.
He stared at her.
And stared at her.
"M'Lady, you've come up with a lot of crazy ideas, and I always go with it, but this one has got to be the most bizarre yet," he said with a chuckle. Either she had truly lost her marbles, or she was teasing him.
She crossed her arms angrily at him. "No, Chat. I mean it! I don't want you to think I'm some kind of... pervert or something," she said, tapping her foot on the rooftop impatiently.
"I assure you, I don't," he insisted.
She wasn't fazed. "I want you to have a fair and equal payback." She opened her arms out again, gesturing up and down her body. "Come on. Touch me."
Chat couldn't let her see how those two words used against him made his knees weak. He mustered up a teasing voice.
"What, so I can be a pervert too, and then you don't have to feel bad about it?" he chided.
Her mouth opened and closed, and he could see that her mind was beginning to sink into panic as she recognized his logic.
"That's not... what I—"
"I'm kidding, Bugaboo,” he interrupted, not liking watching her squirm like that. “Of course. You aren't a pervert. And neither am I, for the record."
"You... you don't want to touch me?" she said, her eyebrows furrowing and hands dropping to her sides.
Why did she sound disappointed?
"Now who said that? I certainly didn't!" he corrected quickly. Her eyes darted to his, and he scratched nervously at the back of his head. Great. He was definitely making this worse.
"Then what's the problem? It would make me feel a lot better about it if you did," she said.
The truth is, it would make him feel a lot better too, but not for the same reasons. Also, he was a gentleman, and that kind of behaviour simply wouldn't do.
"The problem is, I would never take advantage of My Lady like that. Plus it feels a little bit like a trap."
Ladybug's eyes widened defensively.
"What? It's not a trap! Are you insinuating that I took advantage of you?"
This time Chat's eyes widened. "What? No! What I'm saying is the exact opposite of that! It was an accident! No retribution required! And I really wish we weren't making a big deal out of this." His face was beet red now.
Ladybug covered her face and groaned.
"Oh my Kwamis! I'm just making this worse! I've embarrassed you on top of everything!"
Chat sighed loudly, knowing that Ladybug was going to keep working herself up over this. He knew his Lady well enough to know that much.
"One touch?" he asked. He watched Ladybug's shoulders tense up, maybe not truly expecting him to concede. He shuffled up from his seated position, stretching widely to work out all the kinks in his joints. She watched him do so, the uncertainty on her face growing by the second.
But then she nodded. "One touch," she confirmed.
Chat grinned playfully at her. "Anywhere I want?" He stepped towards her, and she clenched her eyes shut, but she nodded again.
"Anywhere. Chest, butt... Wherever you like."
Chat inched closer to her until she could feel his breath on her face. Ladybug held her breath as she waited for the feel of Chat's hand on her body. But none came.
"What are you waiting for?" she urged.
Chat chuckled low in his throat. "Don't rush me. It's not every day I get a free touch on my Lady. It's gonna take me a minute to decide."
Ladybug nodded. "Right. Well then... take your time, I guess."
Oh. He would. He couldn't help the grin that already spread from ear to ear as he surveyed her, pacing ever so slowly around her, as if inspecting a rare artifact in a museum.
He could literally see her sweat. Her breathing was growing ragged in anticipation, and he wondered how long he could drag this out.
"Let's see…" he pondered. "Aha!" He finally snapped his fingers in epiphany. Ladybug tensed again, waiting for the inevitable as Chat seemed to have made up his mind. He stopped in front of her, leaning in until his breath was on her face again, and his hand moved slowly. It crept up towards her head, dragging his fingers down the side of her face until they curled beneath her chin, pulling her face gently upwards.
Her eyes fluttered open, staring into his green ones in confusion.
"Chat? What're you—?" she breathed.
"Shhhh." He shushed her, pressing a finger to his lips, which had only been inches from hers. She licked her lips and swallowed nervously.
His finger fell away from his mouth, and in one swift movement, he brought his gloved index finger to the tip of her nose.
"Boop!" He laughed, pressing her nose gently. Ladybug's expression boiled with murderous intent.
"You rotten cat!" she squealed. He laughed even harder as she punched him playfully on the arm.
"What? You said one touch anywhere I wanted! And boy, was it worth it!" he roared.
"You are such a tease!!" Ladybug fumed.
"What's wrong, Bugaboo? Were you hoping for something more from me?" he chided. "I'm a gentleman; you seem to forget. I would never do anything My Lady didn't want."
Her silence rang loudly in the quiet morning, and his laughter suddenly died in his throat. She'd turned away from him with her arms crossed.
"Unless...?" Chat frowned. He had to be some kind of idiot. Had she wanted him to touch her? His mind swirled at the thought. No. Of course not. That was just his own fantasies talking.
"Unless?" Ladybug echoed, still sulking. He decided to push his luck.
"Unless My Lady did want it." He hovered behind her, gently brushing one of her ponytails from her shoulder.
"Pppssshhtt," Ladybug made a rude sound with her lips. "You wish!" She whirled around to face him now, her previous anger faded and replaced with a smug grin.
Their lips were close again, for the third time this morning. "I was just surprised at you. I thought you'd go straight for the boobs," she chuckled.
"Really? I think I'm more of an ass man." His eyes darted downwards, knowing full well he couldn't see her ass from this angle, but it made his point nonetheless. She flushed again, but her grin widened.
She leaned in until her lips were beside his ear. "You certainly are an ass," she teased. This time it was his turn to lick his lips.
"And that was two."
He swallowed. "T-two?" he gulped, losing himself in the ghosting feeling of her body so close to his, yet so painfully far away. She nodded.
"Two touches. You touched my cheek, and my nose. That's two."
Chat slapped a palm to his forehead. Oops.
"Don't worry, Chaton, I already have the solution." She was smiling almost too sweetly at him.
"You do?" he breathed, bracing himself for whatever revenge she might want to inflict on him.
"You see, I'm a bit of an ass fan myself."
Ladybug quickly reached around him and pinched his leather-clad booty between two fingers.
He yelped, not expecting the sudden twinge, and he rubbed his backside as Ladybug quickly swung away on her yoyo.
"That's not fair, M'Lady!" he called after her.
But she was already gone.