Chapter Text
1-7-24
I know that someday you’re going to fall in love again.
You’re healing, and it will take time, but someday your heart will open again.
And when that day comes, I’ll be right there cheering you on like always.
I can only hope that when you do find someone that I’ll have healed my own heart enough by then that the pain doesn’t break me.
Because right now, you talking about dating feels like a knife twisting in my heart.
I know we were never going to work.
There was never even an “us”.
But I can’t help but want to be the one you fall for.
Because even now, as I’m trying to heal myself, part of my bleeding heart won’t close.
Because what if, somewhere in the future, you realize you had feelings for me all along.
I know I’m being stupid.
I know I’m just hurting myself.
But I can’t bring myself to close that possibility off.
Not even after you told me flat out it wouldn’t happen.
I hate crying.
You know that.
I’ve mentioned many times how I don’t like crying.
It makes me feel weak.
I especially don’t like crying over you.
I don’t like knowing how much of a hold you still have over me.
It’s almost embarrassing.
I hope you find whoever you’re looking for.
I’m devastated it’ll never be me.