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Luck wakes up and it feels like it is going to be a good day.
The sun is peeking between the curtains and shining a beam onto the end of Luck's bed. There is a black and white cat asleep in the brightness. It opens its eyes when Luck looks at it. The eyes are green with tiny yellow bits and when it yawns it shows off a pink tongue and small white teeth. Its breath smells like cat food. It purrs. Luck likes the cat. Its name is Idiotkitten. This is what Finral's brother calls it. Other people give it other names, but Idiotkitten is the one that the cat likes best. Luck can tell.
Luck looks for Finral and Magna. They are Luck's most important best people. Luck likes to know where his best people are all the time. Finral is all scrunched up asleep on his bed. It is the underneath bed of the bunkbeds. Luck sleeps beside Finral if Finral is sad or if Luck is lonely or his feet are cold, or if something is wrong with an important thing or a best person. Luck likes to know that Finral is there because Finral is one of the most importantest things and bestest people. Finral does not ever mind. He makes room for Luck to cuddle in. But now Luck is seven, he sleeps in his own bed too. Idiotkitten only sleeps on Luck's bed when Luck is sleeping there. Luck likes this. Idiotkitten is sometimes one of his important things.
Idiotkitten does not sleep on Magna's bed for the same reason that Luck does not sleep on Magna’s bed. Magna has filled his bed with all the toys he can find and sometimes rocks and things that are not toys. Yami says, "I don't know how you've got enough room to sleep in here, kid."
Magna says to Yami that he is good at squeezing. Yami never takes the toys away. Sometimes he puts new ones onto Magna's bed and Magna doesn't notice.
Magna is not sleeping. He is awake and he is playing with the toys, but he is doing it very quietly because it is still early in the morning and Finral is sleeping. Magna sees that Luck is awake and says, "Hi Luck."
Luck smiles at Magna. He waves.
"I found your murcary and wood spinning top up here. Do you want it?"
Luck doesn't want it now. He might want it later. He wriggles under the soft soft blankets that Nessa made to find the bag with the soft-hard balls instead. These are his important thing for today. The mercury and wood spinning top was an important thing yesterday.
Magna understands. He says, "Cool. I'll keep it safe for you up here." Magna is good at talking, but he knows what Luck means even if Luck doesn't want to use words.
When Finral wakes up, he stretches and says, "Good morning, Luck. Good morning, Magna. Hello cat."
The cat says, "Meow." Magna is too busy with his Magic Knight toys to answer. Then Finral says, "Alys is going to come play today."
Sometimes Luck likes Alys. Sometimes he does not like Alys. She is not one of his best people like Magna and Finral and Asta and Yami and Vanessa and Noelle and Charmy and Grey and Langris and Asta's brother and sometimes Owen and William and Marie (not Gauche). Alys says she comes to play games but some of these are learning games that aren't as much fun as playing with magic or sliding on the slide or swinging on the swing. Some games are okay though, like messy play with sand and slime. She showed Luck ways to move his hands to tell people that he wants a drink of juice or to go to the toilet or that he doesn't want to do something. These are not very useful. Luck doesn't need ways to tell his best people things. Magna and Finral and Asta and Yami and Vanessa always know what he needs and he doesn't have to use hand waving or cards with pictures to tell them. Luck's best people just know. And in the hardly ever times that they don't know what Luck wants, then they fetch Langris. Langris is like Luck's little brother and he's so silly all by himself that Luck has to look after him. Looking after Langris always makes Luck feel better if he is sad.
Alys's games are good sometimes. Sometimes they are boring. Her cards with pictures on them taste funny.
"Ya-mi," Luck says to Finral.
Finral nods. "Everyone will be getting up soon."
"Do you want to be the dragon in my game, Finral? Luck already has a toy for today," Magna says. Then. "I want pancakes for breakfast."
Magna always says this. Luck thinks that pancakes are one of Magna's most important things.
Alys comes to visit at the end of breakfast. She says, "How are my favourite seven year olds?"
Magna is eating. He says something that sounds all mushed up with pancake. Finral says, "Hello Alys."
Luck glares at her. He doesn't want to play learning games with hand waving and too much talking today. Today is a day for being outside in the sunshine and playing with magic. Yami says, "Gonna be one of those days, Alys. You've got that look, haven't you kid. Don't eat any more cards."
Luck decides he will eat the cards. Then Charmy will give him nice food because she thinks Luck must be very hungry if he is eating cards.
Yami knows what Luck is thinking because he says, "Okay. Sorry. Think your cards are gonna be a write off today."
Magna giggles. He thinks Luck eating the cards is funny, even if, when he tried it, he said they tasted really bad. Alys does a shrug with her shoulders. "We'll give it a try today, but no worries if it's not a good day for cards. Maybe Vanessa can help us."
Asta takes Finral and Magna out for a trip to the library so that Alys can concentrate on Luck. This is because Magna does so much talking that sometimes it is hard for Alys to play with Luck properly. Finral and Magna promise they will get Luck good books, and Luck's feelings are only a little bit sad but not too much. He likes the library, but he will get Nessa all to himself and she is one of his best people. Today feels like a Nessa sort of day. She makes the best, softest things in the world and she gives Luck the right sort of hugs.
Today Alys is doing 'naming things'. She has lots of pictures and she is telling him names. It is not as bad as some of the other games because she has pictures of all of Luck's best people. Luck tastes some of the cards, but he decides not to chew them too much. Except the Gauche card. It has got funny little teeth marks in it now.
Nessa is helping Alys and that makes Luck happy because he can curl up beside her and put his hands in her hair or feel the soft soft sweater she is wearing while he looks at all the cards. She has a safe smell and her magic is tangly. Today the magic cat comes to play too. The magic cat likes Idiotkitten, even though it is just a regular cat. They play together and Luck practices their purrrrrrrrr noise and their meeeeoooo noises when Alys isn't looking. Alys smiles when she hears him, but she doesn't say any words about it. That is the way Luck likes it.
Once they have finished the game with the pictures of Luck's best people (and Gauche), his head feels squished full of words and concentrating. Alys wants to do something else with colouring and paper, but Nessa says, "I don't think that's such a good idea. We're probably done for the morning, aren't we, Luck."
Alys nods because she knows that Luck's best people know him better than anyone else. Then Nessa says, "I have some questions if you've got time to answer them for us? About Luck, and well," she waves her hands at the cards on the table, "this."
Luck clambers onto her lap and cuddles up into her hair and soft sweater. Nessa knows to hug just the right tightness when he pulls her arms into the correct place.
"Of course," Alys answers. "I've got all the time you need."
"I'm going to speak to Alys, if that's okay, Luck," Nessa says.
Luck murmurs "Yami," into her hair, so that she knows this is okay.
When he was littler, it was hard to understand all the words when his head was full. But he's bigger now. He's seven. If things are very, very, very full, or he feels upset or tired, it can be hard. But now that he's big, it is easier. He doesn't always understand every word, but Finral says that is okay. Grown-ups don't always explain properly. Even Langris, who is a grown-up, doesn't understand all the words that grown-ups use. Asta's brother knows this too. He says that it is because Langris is 'emotionally incompetent.' No one argues about this, and Luck has no idea what it means. He likes the words though.
Nessa says, "I wanted to talk to you about Luck’s speech. Well, lack of it, I guess. You've been working with him for two years and he only ever says Yami's name, and he learned that in a crisis that none of us want to repeat. Yami and I found school records from some of the places that Luck used to live. There are notes about behaviour issues and the whole fighting thing." Nessa has a pile of papers that she gives to Alys. It smells of crinkly old books. "These say that he talked when he was seven before, so we wondered, should we be doing something else?"
Luck nuzzles into her hair and says, "Ya-mi."
"It's okay, Luck," she tells him after a tight hug. "I'm not sad. You don't have to stay and listen if you want to do something else. I'm sure Charmy will let you help with baking. Me and Alys can talk about this later."
Luck says, "Ya-mi," again. He doesn't mind them talking.
Nessa understands. She speaks to Alys again. "We know he's happy. But." Her shoulders make a shrugging shape. "Should we be pushing him to talk? Is what we’re doing enough?"
Alys puts her hand on Nessa's arm. She says, "Let me read through these papers. Then I can talk to you and Yami about what I've found. We can bring in Owen too. But, for what my opinion is worth, what Luck has here is more than enough."
Luck agrees. He tells Nessa, "Ya-mi," so that she knows.
Alys reads the papers quietly, then goes to another room. Luck cuddles up with Nessa and she sings songs to him. It helps with the full of concentration feeling. When it gets better, he takes his toys to play on the big squidgy bean bag.
Asta and Finral and Magna are not home when Alys comes back. Luck isn't sure why she hasn’t gone away yet, and Nessa is tight and Yami has come in from practicing swords and magic. He has his serious thinking face. Asta calls it Yami's 'going for a dump face', but Asta is wrong. Yami is thinking important thoughts.
Luck knows that he needs to stay with them if they are doing important things about Luck. Owen comes too. Luck likes Owen because his magic feels cool and happy and it makes people better. Owen always gives Luck special magic to check that Luck is full of healthiness. Owen has the crinkly paper now. He is thinking, but Luck knows they aren't serious thoughts like Yami's. Owen is content, like his magic.
Luck has the best thread balls and he is under the table near Nessa's feet.
Owen starts speaking first. He says, "We've looked through these records, and compared them with our recent ones. I know why you are concerned, but I don't think you have any cause. Alys and I agree."
Alys nods, but does not say anything. Owen is a good talker, and he always speaks carefully so that Luck can understand. He will make Yami and Nessa feel better. Luck pats Nessa's shoes so she knows to feel better too.
"These original school reports record a speech delay, but not as noticeable as we have here. It's hardly commented upon, but the tests and progress scores clearly show that receptive and expressive language was significantly behind his peers. That would echo our findings, but not completely." Some of the crinkly paper is lined up on the table above Luck's head. Then there are newer papers too.
"These are our estimates of similar outcomes." Nessa and Yami shuffle the papers around. Luck thinks about going to look, but he has the thread balls to play with and they are his important thing for today. Not papers.
"Don't think I understand this stuff," Yami says. "Too many numbers and graphs."
Owen gives a small laugh. "I can summarise. Basically, our assessment of Luck's receptive language skills are at least age appropriate. That means he understands as much as most seven-year-olds understand. His expressive language is delayed, obviously, but he makes up for it in other ways of understanding. We have no way to score something like emotional intelligence in a child, but I'd say that Luck's empathy is far beyond the average seven-year-old."
"I get that. No one ever saw through Langris Vaude as fast as Luck."
Luck feels proud. Langris is one of his best people. He needs Luck to look after him.
"Precisely. Now, the other thing we noted from these old records is this is around the age that Luck's obsession with winning began. It's why the language difficulties aren't recorded. These professionals are far too busy working out how to manage a child with Luck's innate magic obsessed with winning at all costs. Was he able to explain it to you when he was a teenager?"
Nessa sounds sad when she says, "He said he had to win so that his mother would love him. She told him to always smile, and always win."
Luck isn't following this conversation completely. He's always a bit unsure when people talk about him and Magna and Finral when they were grown up. He doesn't remember being a grown up. He does have memories of his mother before he lived with Yami and Nessa and Asta and Magna and Finral and all his other best people (and Gauche). He thinks his mother was sad when he knew her, and he remembers that he wanted to make her happy, but he didn't know the right way. Maybe talking would have made her happy?
The grown-ups don't speak for a minute. They are probably thinking about what Nessa said. When Yami speaks, he says, "Do you think the fighting obsession was because that was the only way he could get his mother to love him?" His voice sounds like he wants to hit something with his sword. It's the same way he talks about Finral and Langris's mother and father.
"And more. I think his mother's demand for conditional love meant that Luck was forced to satisfy her. I did a bit of digging when we were researching the boys' original childhoods. Luck's mother had multiple contacts with recovery mages and church-based charities. She would initially reach out for help managing her 'damaged' son, then, when professionals tried to help, she would take Luck and disappear. There are court documents citing emotional and physical neglect, and more than one attempt to remove Luck from her care when he was found in what can only be described as an underground fighting arena. A non-verbal child in such an environment would be at huge risk of being abandoned or abused. Luck was forced to talk to keep himself safe. But the result was a pressure to win at all costs."
Charmy comes in. She gives Luck his favourite cake and juice first, then lots of tea and biscuits to the others. While they are eating, Luck crawls out from under the table. He inspects the papers. He can see his name 'L u c k' written in lots of places and he guesses the word with the big tick at the start is Voltia. That's his other name. Finral can do very good reading. Magna cannot. Sometimes Alys helps him with his reading, but this is one of the things that is a grown-up, not-grown-up thing. Yami says that Magna was not good at reading when he was a grown-up too. Magna says that's okay because he'll get Finral and Asta and Asta’s brother and Langris to read him all the stories he wants.
Once Luck has checked the papers, he climbs onto Yami's lap and eats Yami's biscuit. Yami doesn't mind, and his serious face is because of all the thinking he's having to do.
"You've got a theory about this, haven't you, Doc."
Owen nods. "I think that Luck is safe here. And he feels safe. He doesn't have to talk because you love him and understand him whether he does or doesn't. It may be the same with the obsession with fighting. He doesn't have to win to earn your love. There will be other obsessions, of course, because I suspect this is how his brain works, but hopefully not ones that are as prone to causing bodily injury."
"The Langris thing," Vanessa mutters. It makes Owen laugh.
"Exactly. Your love is not forced. He can develop and grow into himself in a way he was never allowed before. We aren't trying to make Luck speak. We're giving him ways to communicate what he wants and needs, including speech, but also hand-speak signs and the picture cards. We're in an unusual situation with Luck, because we know he has the potential to use the spoken word fluently. But our aim isn't for Luck to talk. It's for him to feel safe enough to try it for himself. I imagine that once he realises what he can get out of it, it won't take long for Magna to be asking for peace and quiet."
Luck nuzzles closer to Yami. Yami feels tight, so Luck decides that it is time to go outside to play. He clambers up Yami's chest and then around his neck so that he is sitting on Yami's shoulders. This is one of the best places in the world. He kicks his heels against Yami's chest.
"Okay, okay," Yami says. There is a little growly laugh in his voice that makes Luck fizz with happy feelings. He giggles and Yami says, "We can go outside to play. Enough of this grown-up boring stuff."
Luck giggles again and tugs Yami's hair and singsongs "Ya-mi, Ya-mi," as Yami stands up to his big big man height. This is even taller than Asta's brother. Luck has to duck his head when they go out the door because Luck is seven now and a big boy.
When they are practicing magic outside, Asta and Finral and Magna come back. Magna wants to know all the games that Luck has been playing with Alys. She leaves to visit other children, but Owen says he can stay and play baseball while they wait for lunch. Luck likes baseball because it is one of Magna's favourite games and Yami always hits his ball towards Luck so he can catch it. Finral has a pile of books from the library and he reads in the sun with Asta.
Lunch is one of Luck's best outside lunches. There is bread and ham and cheese and boiled eggs and lots of other things to make their own sandwiches. Magna always has all the food on his sandwich, except for mushrooms and onions because these are things that he does not like. Luck likes them, so he has the extra bits that Magna doesn't want. Owen tells stories from the books from the library and Luck curls up on Vanessa to listen. Owen does the best voices that make Luck laugh.
In the afternoon, after stories and some more playing, Luck takes the best thread balls into the quiet place that Henry made for him. It is a good spot for thinking. Sometimes he takes Finral with him. One time he even took Magna, but then it wasn't such a quiet place. Today he goes with his important thing because thinking is easier with something to do in his hands.
He is thinking about talking. He does a lot of thinking. He thinks right up to dinner time, so Nessa has to poke her head into his quiet place and say, "Time to eat, Luck. It's Tuesday, so Langris and Yuno are here."
That makes Luck happy. He was right. It is a good day. Most of Luck's days are good. This is an especially good one with best people and good toys and Owen's silly voices when he reads story books. He puts the thinking thoughts to one side, like putting them in the toybox to take out later and he goes to eat.
They are having dessert when Luck takes the thoughts out of the box again. He decides an important thing straight away, as quick as lightning magic. "Ya-mi," he says to Yami.
Yami says, "Sure Luck. Have my dessert. I wasn't gonna eat it."
Luck takes the dessert and eats it, even though this wasn't what he meant. Then he slides off his chair and stands beside Finral. "Finral," Luck says.
Finral drops his spoon. Everyone stops talking. Everyone is looking at Luck and Finral.
"Finral," Luck says again. He likes how it feels on his tongue. He knows lots and lots of sounds, tick-tock sounds, and prrs and meeoows and singing sounds. But Finnnnrrrralllll has the best sounds. "Finral," he says again, testing out the sounds again.
"Hi, Luck," Finral says eventually. That seems like a good answer.
"Finral."
"Do you want my dessert too?"
Luck takes the dessert. This is an unexpected benefit to talking that no one explained. He turns to Magna next. Magna is squeezing all his pudding into his mouth at once. "Magna, Magna, Magna, Magna." Luck says.
"I like my own pudding," Magna says.
Luck doesn't mind because Asta slips his pudding to Luck. Luck tries out, "Asta," with long 'ssssssss' sound so it sounds like a snake in a story book. "Langris," has a 'ssssss' too, so he practices this too. Langris has already eaten his dessert, but he gives Luck a sip of his coffee. It is yuck.
He tries out, "Charmy," and "Grey" and "Gordon" and even "Gauche." The 'g' is like a hiccup sound. He likes the 'nnnn' and the 'ssss' better, but he gets more pudding and a fairy cake and a sparkly mirror, and Grey changes into a donkey for a treat. Maybe sometimes Gauche is one of his best people too.
Asta's brother has another name, but Luck likes for him to think he can't remember, so he just calls him 'Asta's' or 'Langris's'. Asta's brother smiles and he doesn't mind one little bit. But he won't give Luck his pudding. No problem. Luck has the most pudding anyway.
The only name he hasn't tried is Nessa's. He climbs onto her lap for a hug. He keeps her name all warm and snug inside him and concentrates on his pudding cups. Her hair smells like fruity shampoo and her sweater is the softest. The grown-ups talk while Magna plays with his toys and Finral reads books. Luck is tired after a good day. The voices around him are too many. He only wants to curl up and be near his best people.
He thinks his own words.
This word is Safe. He feels safe on Vanessa's lap, all warm and loved. These are his best people and this is one of his best places, like Yami's shoulders or Finral's bed. He remembers what not being safe felt like even though it was a long time ago, and he's a big boy now. Before he came here, he did not always feel safe. He always feels safe here. Finral and Magna are safe. Even Langris, who needs the most looking after, knows that he is safe here. Luck can tell.
It's okay that Luck doesn't understand all the talking. It's okay that he doesn't talk so much as Magna, or is as good at reading as Finral. He doesn't need to win or fight to be safe and loved here. It is enough just to be theirs.
He falls asleep with his hand tangled in Nessa's hair. Maybe there is pudding all tangled up too.
He wakes up when Nessa carries him to his own bed. Magna is making a yawning complaining voice when he goes to his bed, and Yami says, "Shh. Go to sleep." The lights are turned off, except for the small shiny mercury and wood lamp that Yami lights before he leaves.
Nessa whispers, "Goodnight, Luck."
Luck squirms into the comfiest place under the soft blanket. Nessa gives him a small kiss. Luck says, "Love you, Nessa." He was right. This is one of his best words with ‘nnnn’ and ‘ssss’ sounds. He likes it very much. He will practice it more tomorrow.
Nessa smiles the biggest, sunniest, happiest smile. And she says, "Love you too, Luck."
Then it is time to sleep.