Archive of Our Own

“So, when are you asking him out ?”

Ghost almost let the barbell he had been pressing fall to his face at his friend’s words, barely managing to reracking it, before he was sitting up on the bench and turning to Gary with wide eyes.

Now, he couldn't exactly deny that he had a huge crush on John, one of the regulars at the gym he had started to go to since he had retired from the SAS.

Well.

Retired.

Mostly, he hadn’t passed his last physical exam, years of service leaving him too broken to continue. It wasn’t just the scars on his body, proof of a hard lived life. But his hearing wasn’t as good as it used to be, his age had started to mess with his eyes as well and it all messed with his once praised reflexes.

He had been told, then, that maybe, it was time for the Ghost to retire. That it was the sign that he had done all he could, that he had fought hard enough and he deserved to go through the rest of his life peacefully.

Ghost had hated it. He had hated it so much that he nearly went mad with it, hating the silence of his little house, how bored he was, all the time, the itch at the top of his fingers to be able to carry a gun again, to go and fight and feel the adrenaline fill his veins.

a He begged to go back. Called Price often, saying how he couldn’t do it, how he wasn’t going to be able to, ever, how the military was all his life and it was all he knew, all he could do.

Price helped. Sending him, ordering him to go to that one therapist he knew dealt with vets like him, guys who had been in for too long and too deep to adapt to a civilian life again.

It had helped.

What had truly made the difference, though, had been Gary.

Gary who used to be a soldier as well, who he met in a specialized online group. Who joined a bit later than Ghost and left way earlier than him too. Who got betrayed and fucked over by his officer and almost died for it.

Gary who, somehow, managed and helped Ghost through his own darker thoughts, answering 3am calls and talking him out of any mood he had found himself in then.

Gary who had now become the best friend he had ever had his whole life.

Gary who was one of the worst little shits Ghost had ever met and who was currently snickering like a god-damned child.

“I don’t know what you're talking about.”

They both knew exactly what Gary was talking about.

Ghost had been reluctant to follow Gary to the gym at first. Gary had been excited, stating that the place did a special offer for its 10 years of existence. That members were invited to bring a friend to the place for a session, either to go through one of the group lessons or to try out some of the machines.

It had taken Gary a lot of time to convince Ghost to accept. Stating how physical exercise would help with his mental state, how something as familiar as working out might help with the transition from the military to this normal life. He had countered each and every argument Ghost had come up with easily, stating that the place, even if it was public and did bring around busy moms and older men, also had a few hard working regulars that might surprise Ghost with their stamina and strength.

Gary had played with his ego then, when he had seen Ghost scoff and roll his eyes. Because he was the Ghost, he was good and he had been known to make enemies run away at the mere sight of his mask.

Ghost had been quickly taken down a notch when he had accompanied Gary there during the after hours. When the coaches were gone but the gym still was accessible to the members who wanted to work out on their own, late into the night.

It had been enjoyable.

And a revelation too.

Because it was on that one precise late evening that Ghost had seen John for the first time.

John was a fucking beast. He wasn’t that tall for a guy but he made up with a bulk that’d have bodybuilders pale in shame, pulling and pressing weights Ghost wasn’t sure he could manage himself. His abilities were impressive, and above that, well ..

He was the most beautiful man Ghost had ever met in his life. With bright blue eyes that literally made him weak in the knees when Gary casually strolled to the man and introduced them.

John had looked at him then, a beautiful smile on his lips, he had punched his shoulder easily.

The words he had said next had been more or less forgotten because all Ghost had been able to focus on, had been the warmth spreading from his shoulder to his entire body, the mere contact of John's first against his shoulder making his brain disconnect for a minute or ten.

He had joined the gym the next day willingly. But he had grumbled the whole time, telling Gary to shut up once or twice.

He had PTSD from the way Gary had laughed at him that day.

Now? Now, Ghost went to the gym anytime he felt like it. Most of the time during the after hours, because it was less crowded and he could work out in peace, his headset cutting off the gym’s sometimes shitty music and other people’s conversations. Focusing on his form, on his sets the same he had back then, when working out had been less about his mental health and more about how a strong body would keep him alive. Gary had been right about it, it helped. More than Ghost would ever admit.

He also wouldn't admit his crush on John. Not out loud, that was, even if it probably was obvious as fuck. Gary had yet to stop teasing him about it after all and Ghost was aware that he stated a lot. He wasn't aware of it most of the time but Gary liked to call him out on it.

“He’s nice, you know,” Gary continued after a pause, during which Ghost sipped his water bottle. “And you could use a friend that isn’t me.”

Ghost rolled his eyes at that.

He did have friends. He had Price. Who was his former Captain, but Price had done so much for him, especially since he had been forced to retire. He checked up on him often enough, and had said he’d visit when on his next leave. That was what friends did, right ?

There also was Amy at work. She had somehow decided that he was her best friend at some point and, despite how annoying it had been at first, having the young woman follow him around like a lost puppy and talking his ears off during breaks, she had grown on him. She was soft spoken and sweet. And she had knitted mittens for him, somehow managing the size without measuring his hands and adding a little skeletal design to it after she had seen his old, worn out gloves.

Ghost had been so touched with the gesture that he hadn't known how to react. But he had tried to be more open around her, more receptive to her friendliness and it had felt more natural ever since.

It made working in a factory, packing orders for online customers, a whole lot more enjoyable than it really was.

“I have friends.”

Gary snorted. Ghost stared at him.

“Come on, Ghost, it’s obvious you think he’s hot and he keeps staring at you as well. If you two just pulled the sticks out of your asses, it’d ..”

Ghost cut Gary off by pulling his headset back on his ears, turning the sound up as he laid down on the bench again and prepared for his next set.

He didn't want to hear what Gary had to say about it and he wouldn't.

The next time Ghost found himself at the gym, it was without Gary. Mostly because it was late and Gary had to wake up early for work and Ghost had just left work after one of the dullest late shifts he had in years. Which meant it was a good night to work out and he was thankful to have taken the habit to leave his gym bag in the trunk of his car, allowing him to go anytime he liked when he came home from work.

The late hours also meant that the place would be deserted, except for a few of the regulars. Bodybuilders, mostly, and a couple of ego lifters too. The latter, Ghost had seen them before and he internally groaned as he recognized them. Because they usually were loud as fuck and couldn’t understand that other people didn’t want to hear them scream encouragements or celebrate their lifts the way they did.

It almost made him leave. Almost. But the day had been too long, and that was even in spite of Amy’s best attempts to distract him. Late shifts usually were less busy than morning shifts but it never was that boring.

But eh, even if he didn’t exactly need the money, his pension, along with the comfortable amount he had in bank were sufficient to keep him safe for a while, his therapist had said it was important he remained busy. So he had found a job. And he could have found something else, probably should have but .. it was fine enough.

He was slowly coming to terms with the fact that boring wasn’t too bad, sometimes. He liked the lack of responsibilities it came with and how brainless it was sometimes. Liked being able to shut down his brain and just follow the order lists on his screen to pack them up then.

It just was a sort of balance, all in all. One he knew he needed for the time being.

Ghost grumbled his way to the locker rooms, though. Sighing as he started to change into his usual jog pants and shirt, adding a hoodie on top of it, quick to pull the headset on his head in hopes the noise canceling setting would help him ignore the rest of the people here and he made his way towards the treadmills, to warm up in a slow run.

It was funny, in a way, how he managed to tune everything out then. How he managed to stop thinking, focused on his workout but not really at the same time. Distractedly planning tonight’s session in a habit he had never lost from what now felt like a former life. He wasn’t an expert, nothing of the sort, pros would probably balk at his notation of a good workout but it had always worked for him and Ghost knew better but to change something that worked.

It was how he found himself settling his towel on one of the benches in a corner of the room. Not to play the edgy gym guy fighting his demons but merely for his own comfort, far from the loud gym rats still yelling and praising each other at the deadlift station.

All he wanted was tranquility.

The music helped. The loud metal he was listening to. He didn't know the bands, didn't know the song names or anything, he had just found a playlist he was comfortable with and saved it on his app. He liked it.

Maybe someday he'd look into it in more detail.

Today wasn't one of these days though and Ghost grabbed his usual dumbbells, ready to begin with his usual sets.

That was until he saw him. Until movement at the door caught his eyes and he saw John stroll in, his bag slung over his shoulder. He was focused on his phone, using his member card on the little reader at the counter automatically, before he disappeared in the corridor that led to the locker rooms.

Fuck.

Ghost hadn't expected to see him tonight. He wasn't sure John came at regular intervals, wasn't sure what his schedule was, he wasn't creepy enough to try and remember it just to be there as well, he wasn't that far gone. But still. It was late and he wasn't sure he had ever seen John come in at such hours before.

He must have been lost in thoughts for a long time because already, John was coming back from the lockers, changed and ready for his work out, in his usual tank top and shorts that showed off defined muscles and thick limbs.

Ghost was quick to look away before John noticed anything, turning his back to the rest of the room as he resumed his exercises.

Damn.

He had to stop staring.

It was a bit later, when he felt it. The gentle, almost hesitant touch at his shoulder and Ghost was quick to put distance between himself and the offending hand, turning around with an insult at the tip of his tongue until he realized that it was John standing right there near his bench, his other hand rising in appeasement and a small, apologetic crease between his eyebrows.

“... Am sorry, I didn't mean to startle you,” John's voice was soft, when Ghost pulled his headset away to be able to hear him. “I did call but ..”

The words died on his tongue, motioning at the headset instead, the loud music easily hearable, though muffled.

“I’m John,” the man said then, his smile more confident. “You’re Gary’s friend, right? He introduced us, though I'm not sure he’s ever told me your name.”

Gary hadn't. Because Ghost didn't like giving out his name to strangers and people looked at him weirdly when he offered his call sign instead. Gary had only said he was his friend, who would probably be joining the gym. Then, John had bumped his shoulder and Ghost had felt like he was watching the scene from outside of his body.

“Ghost,” he answered, self conscious of the leap of faith that was. Gary might have said that John was nice, it didn't mean he wouldn't judge him for his edgy call sign.

Then again, Gary's had been Roach. And Ghost had yet to stop chucking under his breath when he thought about it.

“Ghost,” John nodded and his smile widened slightly, taking it in stride like it was nothing weird. “Hi, sorry again for startling you. I just .. really wanted to ask you if you'd mind spotting me for a while? I know you’re probably busy with your own workout but I can’t ask anyone else.”

Ghost couldn't help but glance at the other guys around the place, people John had probably known for a longer time, ones he probably knew better than him. He gave John a pointed look.

John wasn't moved by it.

“Alright.”

The way John’s smile widened with his answer shouldn't have looked so endearing.

He took him to the bench he had set up for chest press. The barbel on its hinges was already weighted heavily and Ghost did the quick math to count just how much John intended to move. He was impressed with the result, though he carefully kept his reaction to himself. He knew he’d never manage such a weight. He probably could deadlift it easily, not fucking chest press it.

“I’ll be aiming for three reps,” John stated as he sat on the bench before shimming under the bar, his feet planted firmly on the floor and breathing out slowly as he did. “That's my personal best.”

Ghost nodded. He approached the bench, standing close enough to catch the bar if needed, if John were to fail.

He watched carefully, as John mentally prepared himself for his set, rubbing his hands against his shorts before he was placing them around the bar. And Ghost helped him unrack it slowly, making sure John was good before he was letting go of it, though keeping his hands hovering under the bar, in case he needed to quickly catch it before it hurt John.

He was fascinated, though, with how steady John’s arms looked despite the weight. There were hints of strain in the way he grimaced a little, in his focus but his arms weren’t shaking, his grip was sturdy and Ghost watched as the bar slowly descended, accompanying it slowly to John’s chest before the man was pushing it up again.

His breathing picked up there and Ghost glanced quickly at the man's face for a sign that he needed his help, only to see how resolute he looked. He wanted to go through with his set.

And he did. The second rep looked as easy as the first. The third felt more strained, John grunting with the effort and, the moment his arms were extended again, Ghost grabbed the bar to help the man rerack it, his own shoulders protesting with how heavy it was.

He was quickly distracted from it when John sat up, a big smile on his lips, obviously happy he had managed his set.

“Fuck, that’s heavy,” he laughed, shaking his head and glancing at the plates on the bar. “Think I should try heavier ?”

Ghost checked out the weight again, focused on John's arms again and he cleared his throat.

“Maybe,” he said slowly. “You could try.”

John was quick to grab a couple of smaller plates, ones that'd add five kilos to the total, he slid them on the bar, secured them with clips.

“Can I pay you a drink if I manage ?”

The offer took Ghost by surprise. That and the obvious amusement in John’s eyes, how fucking good it looked on him as well. God, Ghost was so smitten he could barely think.

It was ridiculous.

“Sure.”

The smile that pulled at John’s lips was so beautiful that Ghost had to look away.

Fuck.

And then, John was getting ready again. Lying down on the bench, adjusting his position. Ensuring his hands were dry before he was grabbing at the bar and Ghost waited for his signal to help him unrack the bar, holding the worst of its weight until John looked ready to go.

John’s arms didn’t look as steady this time. They hadn't added much weight but nerves probably played a part in it, that and the fact that John had been at it for a while now, pushing his body to its limits, his muscles growing tired with each rep.

It was why Ghost focused completely on the task at hand. He didn't want John to get hurt. Things could go wrong so quickly, after all.

There was a bit of a pause, then, when the bar touched John’s chest, one that hadn't been there before and Ghost was ready to pull the barbell up when John huffed.

“I’ve got it,” he groaned in a tone that was way different from his usual voice, straining with the effort as he was.

But then, he was pushing the bar up, clenching his jaws together as he did, groaning in the effort until his arms were stretched, though he didn’t make the mistake to lock his elbows and Ghost took it as his sign to grab the bar and help John rack it again.

There was a silence, as John sat up, shaking his arms but it didn’t last, as he turned around with a big smile on his lips, visibly happy he had passed his previous personal best.

“Fuck, I did it!” He exclaimed happily, pushing himself up to his feet and holding up a hand.

Ghost only clapped it because he knew he'd feel guilty leaving John hanging like that. Even if the touch and the celebration made him feel weird.

But John was quick to let go, giggling in happiness.

“Wanna go get that drink then ? I know a nice place, a couple of blocks from here.”

If he had to be honest, Ghost would say that he wasn't finished with his workout. That he had a few more sets to do, that he had barely started.

But he didn't.

The idea of having a drink with John, despite the fact that it probably was nothing like what Ghost barely dared to hope, was way more appealing than going through his routine with the dude bros yelling a few meters away from him.

“Right,” he said, side eyeing the offending parties and huffing. “I’ll get my things.”

They met outside the gym a few minutes later.

It had been a little awkward in the locker room, to get changed and freshen up without talking. It had made Ghost feel self conscious, made him feel like he should fill the silence, like he should say something.

He might say otherwise to Gary but .. John was cute. He had pretty eyes and a pretty smile, he seemed to be kind and polite and respectful, tonight only proved so. Ghost had a crush on the man.

But he wasn’t going to act on it. Firstly, because he had no idea if John was interested in men.

But also because, well .. he wasn't sure it was a good idea. Ghost was aware that he wasn’t exactly easy to deal with. And he didn't want to impose that in anybody.

“That way.”

They walked together along the empty street, John leading the walk easily. Ghost had left his bag in his car, John’s was nowhere to be seen. It wasn't surprising, how deserted the place was, considering the hour.

What was surprising, was how lively the pub John took him to still was. There was music playing, though it wasn't loud enough to bother the neighborhood, most of the tables were occupied, and a few patrons were waiting at the counter. John greeted the barman with a bright smile and a wave, before turning to Ghost and asking him what he wanted to drink.

“Bourbon.”

That made John’s smile widen as he ordered. Ghost did his best to relax.

“Didn’t peg you as one to drink whiskey.”

Ghost shrugged, he didn't drink much alcohol. But he liked a glass, once in a while.

John had somehow found them a booth at the back of the place. Which Ghost was grateful for, seeing how quieter it was there, how there were fewer people too and he settled with his back against the wall, to be able to have a full view over the space, only for John to smile knowingly.

“You’re a vet, aren't you? Like Gary ?”

Ghost blinked. He wasn't exactly surprised, it probably was obvious enough. There weren’t many civilians around here with a body built like his, with how many scars as he had. He didn't think so, at least.

“SAS,” Ghost answered with a quick nod, lowering his eyes, focusing on his drink. “Didn’t pass the last physical exam.”

John grimaced with it.

“I tried to enroll but my fucked up knee stopped me from even getting into basics,” John admitted with a grimace. “Took a bad tackle when I played football. Fucked me up properly.”

The man then swallowed a sip of his drink, his smile more genuine now.

“I work in demolition now. And I coach a football team during the weekend.”

Ghost nodded slowly. But his mind was elsewhere, as he was slowly realizing that this was .. well. It felt like a date. And he wasn't an idiot, it certainly wasn't one, John had only wanted to celebrate his new personal best and had invited him because Ghost had been the one spotting him. It made sense. Kind of.

There was no way John was interested, after all. Hell, Ghost didn’t even think the man was into guys to begin with. He had literally no proof of it, had never seen him act anything but friendly with others and it felt just weird to assume that John might be interested in him without a proper reason for it.

Because he wasn't, right ?

Either way, Ghost decided to enjoy the moment. To be sitting here with the man, comfortable enough despite how crowded the place was, listening to John talk because it seemed like John was a talker and for once in his life, Ghost decided he didn't mind it much. It was soothing in a way it had never been before. And he didn’t want to break the spell.

And with each passing minute, Ghost realized just how much he liked it. Watching the man talk like that, listening to him switch from one subject to the other and yet, following it all easily enough. Even with how John basically was a stranger, they had never properly interacted before tonight, besides when Gary had introduced them. And even then, they had only exchanged the usual “nice to meet you” and it had been done.

Tonight, though? Sitting there with the man in a nice pub, with a better bourbon than he had expected? Ghost found that he was comfortable. That he was at ease, easily ignoring the people around them even with how the crowd was thinning, people leaving group by group because it was the middle of the week and they probably needed to be up early the next day.

Until it was them and a few others only, the surrounding noise having decreased immensely and yet, all Ghost could hear still was John’s voice as he was currently talking about his workout plan, how he was planning to bulk a little more over the winter and cut during the spring.

“Though, I must admit, my cuts aren’t as impressive as others, I always was bulky.”

It took Ghost longer than necessary to realize that this time, John probably expected an answer. One that wasn’t just a nod or a grunt or a groan and he was about to formulate it when John’s eyes widened.

“I .. Fuck, sorry, I'm .. I know I talk a lot. Fuck, you’ve barely said a word and ..”

“I don’t mind,” Ghost interrupted, focusing on his now empty drink, playing with the remaining condensation on the glass with the tip of his index.

“You do look like the kind of guy to like your peace.”

Ghost grimaced. Because he couldn’t deny it and he could easily hear how aware John was of it. How self conscious it made him feel.

“I do. But I would have made it known, if I had wanted you to shut up.”

He looked up just in time to see John blink at the bluntness. And tilt his head to the side.

“Sorry,” he said again, softer now. “My ex dumped me because of all this,” he explained, waving a hand around. “It’s sometimes hard to get over it.”

“Well, she was a bitch,” Ghost shrugged. “You're fine.”

“He,” John corrected and Ghost noticed his uncertain expression. “He just … Let’s say he wasn’t exactly respectful in the end. Should have dumped him earlier.”

There was a pause, next. One that was heavy, one that felt like John expected a certain reaction from him but all Ghost could think about was that .. John was into guys. He was. He had dated at least one man before and ..

“Do you mind that I ..”

“I’m gay,” Ghost interrupted before he could think better of it and it made him internally curse.

Fuck, that sounded so awkward. And John looked stunned for a moment too.

Until he didn’t anymore. Until he was smiling tentatively, leaning his chin against his hand, head tilted to the side, his half lidded eyes doing things to him that Ghost couldn't describe.

“Well, that’s one less question I need to ask you, then.”

That .. wasn’t what Ghost had expected to hear. Especially not accompanied with such an expression and he felt himself blush.

Fuck. Why did he have to abandon the habit of wearing masks already ?

To make things better, or worse, John let out a little chuckle. Not mocking, it was nothing negative but Ghost flushed deeper with it and he startled when John stood.

“I’m grabbing another drink. Want a refill ?”

Ghost nodded mutedly.

John grabbed their empty drinks and went to the bar.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

This .. this wasn't something Ghost knew how to do. Sure, he had a huge crush on the guy, one so intense he wasn’t sure he had ever felt anything similar before and tonight only proved further how kind and nice and friendly and all the good things John was and it didn't help, not in the slightest. And Ghost had no fucking clue what he was supposed to.

Being in the army and deployed for most of the past fifteen years had more or less disconnected him from the real world. It showed in how hard it had been to adapt to civilian life again.

But this? Relationships that weren’t dictated by rank?

Fucking dating?

He was so out of his fucking depth and Ghost was starting to panic.

That was until John returned. Until he placed his glass back in front of him, the amber liquid warmth under the lowlights of the place and he sat beside him with his own drink, rather than on the other side of the table.

“I didn’t scare you off, did I ?”

Ghost hesitated. He kind of wanted to tell the truth. That he was shit at this, that John shouldn’t expect anything from him.

But he looked at the other man and the words died on his tongue.

“You're fine,” Ghost muttered and he cleared his throat. It was ridiculous, this reaction. It truly was. He was the Ghost, he shouldn’t react like that. “It was unexpected.”

“Really ?” John chuckled and he looked away. “I feel like I've been spending all my time just staring at your pretty face ever since we first met. I honestly thought you would have noticed.”

Ghost's lips parted, then closed again.

He should have noticed. He should have. He hadn't seen shit.

Maybe the doctors had been right to discharge him.

“I didn't. I .. I stared as well.”

That made John laugh and he bumped their shoulders together.

“We’re both idiots, aren’t we ?” He smiled, taking a sip of his drink before looking up again. “But seeing you alone tonight .. couldn’t pass up the opportunity. It’s rare you're not with Gary and I didn't want to make it weird.”

Ghost parted his lips, closed them afterwards in hesitation before he cleared his throat.

“He’s been pushing me to ask you out.”

“Do you want to ?”

This time, Ghost didn’t hesitate to nod. He could feel his cheeks burn, it felt like they were overheating, like he was red in the face, like he had just ran a marathon with his gear and his balaclava on, like he had spent the whole day training. And yet, here he was, sitting with the man he had a crush on, indirectly asking him out, eagerly waiting for his answer but fucking self conscious about it all as well.

He was going to have to talk it out. With Gary. He could try calling his therapist but he wasn't sure she was qualified for this. Or maybe she was.

He’d have to ask.

It was the gentle finger on his wrist that pulled him out of his thoughts. It was barely there, just the back of John’s pinky caressing the strip of skin right at the end of his sleeve, in a gentle way to ground him into the present, into the conversation, respectful in the sense that it wasn't demanding in any way. And Ghost's eyes focused on bright blue eyes again, on the patience in them, on the kindness.

“Yes. I’d love to.”

John’s smile widened and Ghost cleared his throat.

“Give me your number ?”

Ghost couldn't help the glance he shot at John’s phone when John unlocked it. There was a fluffy cat picture as his lock screen, and another of the same cat as his wallpaper. It looked cute.

Then, he saw that John was starting to write “Ghost” and he pinched his lips.

“Simon,” he blurted out. John looked up. “That's my name. Simon.”

John deleted what he had already written. Wrote his name instead. Added a small little Ghost emoji at the end. It was cute.

Then, he called the number until they both heard Ghost’s phone buzz in his pocket.

“Now, you have my number. Don’t hesitate to use it, yes ?”

It all sounded simple. Way simpler than what Ghost could have braced himself for. It did make him feel like an idiot, to have been stressing about it as he had but it wasn't that important in the end, right ?

That and the way John didn’t look the slightest bothered by his current flustered state. How he didn't seem to care that Ghost had no idea what he was supposed to do or that he didn't even know how to react. He was taking it all in stride, easily and without judging him. And it was good.

God, it felt good, to be respected like that.

It was late, when they left the pub. Not because they had wanted to, not really but they had their second drink before switching to soda, and John had talked a lot again. Going about his cat, after Ghost had asked about it. Showing him pictures and videos, talking his ears off about her and it was endearing how much John seemed to love her. Ghost had never had his own pet, not really, he had never had his own place and it wouldn't have been fair for the poor animal, to stay behind without him while he was deployed for so long.

But his therapist did mention that pets could help. Plants too. Ghost had thought about buying plants and trying to learn how to take care of them but listening to John talk about his cat did make him wonder if he’d be capable of taking care of one.

Well. It probably wasn’t that hard, tons of people had pets. And he had survived as a high level operator for long enough. He’d manage a kitten, for sure.

It was only when the bartender loudly stated that they were closing that Ghost realized how late it actually was. How much time had passed and quickly at that.

How he didn’t want the evening to end.

But they couldn't stay, obviously, the staff surely wanted to go home and have a well deserved rest and Ghost paid for their last round of lemonade adding a generous tip for the bartender.

“It was nice, tonight.”

The night was chilly as they were walking down the street, back to their car. Shoulders brushing, the air white as they breathed out.

Ghost didn't startle when he felt fingers slowly hook into his, in a gentle, almost timid hold.

“It was,” he responded with a nod. He had spent a good night in John’s company. He had enjoyed himself. A lot.

He could already see his car, in the small parking lot belonging to the gym. The one a few spots further probably was John’s. He wanted to slow down, to make the moment last longer.

Just to be able to feel John’s fingers against his for another minute or two.

But soon, they had reached his car and with it, the end of whatever tonight had been. Could it be considered a date ? Or just some “getting to know each other evening” ? Ghost had no fucking clue but, at the same time, he didn’t want to put label on it. Didn’t want to misread the whole thing and fuck it up.

God he was so bad at all that.

“You’ll call me then ?”

Ghost nodded, then he grimaced.

“I’ll text,” he offered, more comfortable with written communication. Because it gave him more time to think it through. To choose his words and not just blurt them out without a filter.

He didn’t want to fuck this up.

“I’m fine with that,” John said and he looked up with a smile.

He was close. Closer than he had been before and Ghost shifted automatically, only to feel his car against his back, stopping him from stepping back. A second passed and he realized that .. that he was comfortable with it. That it didn't feel like he was trapped, like he was cornered. It didn’t feel like a life or death situation and he relaxed his shoulders in realization.

He was fine. And he liked having John so close, their fingers still hooked together.

“I would like to kiss your cheek. To tell you goodnight. Would that be alright ?”

“Yes.”

John started to lean up, his free hand carefully reaching for his chest, for leverage and balance.

Ghost wasn't sure why he turned his head at the last moment to push his lips against John's. All he knew was that this was good.

It lasted barely a second though, before John was pulling back. He didn’t go too far, putting just enough space between them to look at him in the eyes, intensely enough that it made Ghost wonder if he had fucked it up. It was hard to say, and John’s expression was hard to read with how little light there was around them, a lonely street lamp too far from them to give them more than a low orange glow.

But then, John was leaning up again, going for another kiss. A longer one, one that was more intense, more eager though it remained as soft as it could be.

But God, did Ghost melt with it, his knees turning to jelly and his heart beating so hard in his chest that he could barely feel each single beat, all of them melting into the next.

“Can I come home with you, Simon ?”

The whisper felt almost like a plea.

Simon’s answer was to kiss the other man again, his free hand going to the small of his back, pulling him closer and holding him as if he was the most precious thing in the world.

And maybe, just maybe .. it was exactly what Johnny was.