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Tav stumbled out of their tent, nearly tripping over their shoes they’d left by the tent flap from the night prior. The sun was blinding and unforgiving as it bore down from its mid-morning height. They lifted their hand to attempt to shield their eyes, hissing in pain as the light caused the throbbing in their head to increase. The ache from the tiefling party had made it into their bones, and every part of them wanted to simply crawl back into their tent and sleep this scourge off. However, fate held more penalties for a full night of binge drinking, it seems.
“Well, well, well– I thought we only had one vampire in camp. At least one of them can manage the sun now!” Gale’s voice came ringing across the way, bright and chipper as he stoked the fire and worked at preparing breakfast. Tav grumbled as they approached, trying to right themselves as they adjusted their hair from the mussed up tangle it had managed to get in and straightened out their clothes to look less rumpled. Shadowheart looked up from her book, giving Tav a knowing smile as they settled next to her.
“Thought you’d be in a better mood this morning. After our chat, you seemed to be…rather eager, as I recall,” she all but chirped, her eyebrow raising slightly as she tilted her head. “What’s the matter? Was your paramour not all he boasted?”
Tav didn’t immediately register what Shadowheart was talking about and gave her a look of confusion before realization dawned on them. Their eyes widened and they (against their better judgment) shook their head vigorously, the tips of their ears and their cheeks flushing slightly. “N-No, no– nothing like that…!” Tav objected, raising their hands defensively. “I-I spent the night alone with an extra bottle or two.”
“I hear ya on that, soldier– though can’t say I’m faring worse than you.” Karlach yawned, blinking slowly in the light herself. “C’mon, Gale, it’s probably proper done– I’m starved .”
Gale simply gave a small chuckle as he gestured with the wooden spoon. “Nearly ready, my fiery friend. Just another moment and your patience shall be rewarded.” By now, Wyll had joined the circle and settled next to Karlach, clearly having just finished his morning training, Lae’zel stalking back to her tent.
“Hells, you look like you’ve seen better mornings, Tav.” Wyll remarked, relaxing in his newfound spot. “Bit too much to drink yesterday?”
Tav nodded bitterly, wincing again at the motion of their head. “A bit might be an understatement– I feel like I was run over by a bulette.” They gripped their stomach slightly, the smell of whatever Gale was cooking up hit their nostrils and their insides turned, and they pulled a face. Lae’zel scoffed from her spot as she went about polishing her armor and her greatsword.
“Perhaps next time, you would do well to not surpass your limits so violently and recklessly. We have much to do and little time to accomplish it, remember,” she hissed, shooting Tav a look that lacked any and all sympathy. Shadowheart threw a glare at the gith, before turning to look back at Tav.
“My goodness, did someone finally manage to join the land of the living?” The sultry voice of the pale elf floated through the air, and Tav tried not to wince at the scathing tone that seemed to have an extra edge this morning. Tav looked up at Astarion, and he was even more blinding than the sun illuminating him. His smug expression with that perfected smile was firmly in place, however his eyes held a subtle look of disdain as they gazed at them. “I was beginning to worry you were avoiding us.”
“Of course not– just, you know, one or five too many,” they replied sheepishly, trying their best to give him an apologetic smile, but their face was twisted in pain and gave way to something akin to anxiety. It was something that Shadowheart noticed, apparently and immediately narrowed her eyes at the vampire spawn.
“Some people could stand to be avoided every now and again, don’t you think?” she snapped, none too subtle about the venom laced into her words. Astarion gave a small huff, smirk firmly in place as he replied, not looking at her, choosing instead to keep his eyes firmly affixed on Tav.
“Maybe some people, darling. But certainly not me. ”
Tav gave a small shrug, before standing up decently quickly. “Astarion, come on— this is me we’re talking about!” they gave a small casual laugh, trying to play off the now clearly awkward tension that was building. “I don’t avoid people who I stick my neck out for— figuratively or literally!”
Astarion barked a fake laugh at the sorry attempt of a joke. “Well good to know– do tell me if there’s anything at all you need. I’ll be in my tent.” Shadowheart glared at him as he retreated and even Karlach was looking between the two at this point.
“What’s wrong with Fangs, soldier?” she asked, her brows furrowed, clearly concerned for the two.
“Seems like some trouble in paradise, if you ask me.” Gale piped up, scooping up some of the hash he’d prepared into a bowl for Karlach and passing it to her before making another for Tav. “I hope he’s not scorning you for exercising your boundaries.”
Tav frowned at Gale slightly, taking the bowl from him. “It’s nothing like that. I told you, I just drank too much and I embarrassed myself with my inebriated behavior. I feel silly and don’t– y’know, really remember what I said to him, but it’s understandable for me to not want to show my face after that,” they protested before shoveling some of their breakfast into their mouth. Gale simply shrugged a bit, not looking up at Tav as he went ahead and prepared a bowl for Wyll.
“All I’m saying is that it’s a vampire’s nature to prioritize satiating their hungers before all else. I wouldn’t blame you if you’d gotten cold feet based on that alone. It may have been an instinct that saved your life, you know.” Gale’s tone was clipped, matter of fact. Tav could only wonder how put out he had been when he’d heard that they were spending the evening together with the rogue and not him.
Tav's scowl deepened, and they shoved another bite of food in their mouth before speaking curtly. “I’m going to take refuge in my tent for a bit, if it’s all the same to you. The conversation isn’t helping with my headache.” Without waiting for anyone’s approval, they headed back to their tent and closed the flap behind them. Karlach paused mid-bite, looking down at her food before standing and following. “Oi soldier–wait for me!”
Shadowheart gave the wizard a withering look. “Seriously, Gale? You didn’t have to add that little tidbit at the end.” Snatching the spoon from him, she began to fill her own bowl. “Don’t be bitter. If you aren’t going to help them, then butt out.” Shadowheart didn’t stay to hear Gale’s protest, following Karlach to join her in Tav’s tent, leaving Gale and Wyll by the fire. Gale looked over at the Blade, who only gave one low whistle.
“Was it really that out of line?”
The only response he got was a small ‘chk’ from the gith’s tent.
Shadowheart entered the tent to see Karlach already trying to figure out the problem. “Thought you two were thick as thieves, relatively speaking– you’re always looking at him, he’s always giving you the eye.”
Tav sighed, pushing their food around in the bowl. “I… look, I do really like him. But I just– last night, I choked. And not how you’re thinking so don’t–” they pointed at Karlach with their spoon, interrupting her before she even began, the teasing grin forming on her face. Shadowheart sighed and settled on the other side of them, giving Tav a scrutinizing look.
“So what happened? Like I said, when we were drinking you seemed perfectly eager. What went wrong?”
With a heavy sigh, Tav set their bowl down. “I— I’d prefer to talk about this out of his ridiculously long-range earshot, but I won’t get that chance for who knows how long…” They ran a hand through their mussed hair, thinking about how to proceed. “Maybe it’s best I just tell you from when I left your tent, Shadowheart…”
The night before…
Tav gave Shadowheart a bashful smile as they shared wine from the bottle and discussed their respective plans for the evening.
“He’s looking over here, you know,” she teased, nudging Tav with her shoulder. “You should go on and let him know you’re available if he can’t be patient.” Tav simply laughed and swiped the bottle back from her.
“Shut it– he said to come find him after everyone went to bed. I’m not going to go over and act desperate!” They took a swig of wine and wiped their mouth with the back of their hand. “Besides, I’m nervous– what if it’s a joke?”
Shadowheart rolled her eyes. “Seriously, if he’s just messing with you and is using this to be cruel, then I’ll stake him myself if you want. But I don’t think he is– he propositioned you and he clearly has standards. He wouldn’t drop those in the midst of his newfound freedom.” She stole back the bottle of wine and shoved Tav gently, coaxing them up. “Now stop wasting time with me. The party’s winding down, go take some time to yourself for a while before your…encounter.” Tav laughed lightly and stood, waving her off.
“Fine, fine–you get to bed though, you had quite a time healing people up today– me, included.” Tav gave a small farewell, walking back to their tent, locking eyes with Astarion as they went to duck inside. The pale elf gave a smile that was the epitome of alluring. His ruby eyes cut through the night and gave Tav a full once over, causing goosebumps to raise all along their skin. Tav could feel the heat rise in their cheeks, gently biting their lower lip in giddy anticipation, unable to keep looking at Astarion without their stomach doing flips.
“Sweet dreams, darling,” he called, his tone sultry and seductive. He knew exactly what he was doing to Tav, and had no qualms being as obvious about it. Most of the others were either drunk or asleep. The rest, he didn’t even particularly care about– if they had a problem, they could mind their own business. Tav couldn’t even say anything, simply nodding and giving a small wave his way before disappearing into their tent. About 30 minutes later, Tav peeked out of their tent, and snuck off to the clearing they promised they’d meet Astarion. As they walked however, their anxiety mounted. Their conversation with Shadowheart didn’t do much to assuage their fear, and even though they apparently met some unknown standard of Astarion’s, they couldn’t guarantee this wasn’t something for his amusement only. Tav’s steps slowed as their thoughts raced even faster– what if this wasn’t something for attraction? What if it was something different? Astarion was a survivor, and he’d brought people back to his former master for the past 200 years. He’d also called Tav a ‘useful person to know’. What if this was just to secure defense against any other potential threats, someone to cover his blindspot? Overall, Tav was certainly getting something out of it as well. They got exclusive time with the ridiculously enticing vampire, a strong ally– not a bad deal, honestly. But something about those thoughts made Tav feel even worse. If they were going to sleep with Astarion, they wanted it to be for the right reasons. So now how to tell him without wounding his ego?
“There you are. I’ve been waiting,” Astarion’s voice cut through their thoughts as he appeared from behind a tree, shirtless. “Waiting since the moment I set eyes on you…waiting to have you.” His alabaster skin reflected the light of the moon and Tav found themself momentarily entranced. They caught themself with their jaw hanging open slightly, before shaking their head and bringing themself back to center.
“Y-you don’t have me yet.” Tav countered, their voice sounding unsteady. Their resolve was shaking but they silently reprimanded themself, reminding them of their internal conversation on the way to this clearing. Astarion’s sultry tone once again threatened to derail any and all plans, however, as he continued.
“Don’t I? You’re here,” he purred. “And I don’t think you want to talk. I think you want to be known…to be tasted.” Astarion began closing the distance between the two of them, and Tav found their chest tightening slightly. He was so beautiful and had they not had the internal monologue, they may have very well experienced a night like no other. Tav very much felt like prey in more than one sense. They swallowed hard before they spoke again.
“And what do you want?” Tav asked, not moving from their spot, fidgeting slightly. They could have sworn for a split second they saw the faintest glimmer of exasperation flit through his eyes, but the rest of his face never showed it. The expression of desire and seduction was just a mask– expertly crafted, but a mask all the same. Astarion’s smirk grew ever so slightly as he answered.
“What do any of us want? Pleasure. ” The eroticism practically dripped off the word as it rolled off his tongue. He was within arm’s reach of Tav now. “Yours. Mine. Our collective ecstasy.” He placed his hands on Tav’s hips and drew them closer, one hand coming up to rest underneath Tav’s chin, tilting it up as he leaned in, their breathing intermingling as he whispered to them.“That’s what you want, isn’t it? To lose yourself in me.” It wasn’t a question. It was a fact that he believed with all his heart. Tav’s voice was lost suddenly, their mouth very dry, and their head blank. Their hands braced on his chest as they did the only thing they could– nod. Astarion gave a knowing smirk. “I thought so.”
As the elf leaned in for the kiss that would start their evening of passion, Tav finally reclaimed their wits. Quickly, they put their hand in between Astarion’s lips and their own, gently pressing their fingers against his mouth. “W-wait, wait, wait—” Tav gasped, their voice little more than a hoarse whisper. “--- I can’t do this.” They stepped back out of Astarion’s hold, their face hot and flushed, trying to shove down their desire for him. Astarion frowned, his head tilting.
“You’re…you’re not serious?” he asked incredulously. Tav swallowed hard, and gave Astarion an apologetic look while nodding.
“I just—er, I-I don’t feel so well…” Tav blurted, not knowing what else to say. “M-Must be that vinegar the tieflings called wine—it was pretty rough, a-and I had a fair amount…” They gently tapped their stomach, shrugging slightly as they took a step backwards. For a moment, Astarion looked genuinely concerned. His eyes went a bit wide and his brows had furrowed gently as he took a step towards them.
“Oh shit…then should I accompany you back to the camp?” he asked, sounding slightly thrown off. It’s clear very few people (if anyone) had ever rejected him. “We need to make sure you’re in top form, after all, darling…”
“N-No no! Please don’t worry about me— I’m just…I’m going to head back. I just didn’t want to leave you hanging—I’m sorry.” Tav babbled, backing away a bit more before turning on their heel and quickly walking back. They didn’t hear Astarion following them, fortunately, and as they returned to the camp, Tav set about gathering up the half drained bottles of alcohol, draining them one by one as they went. Tav was embarrassed, flustered, and upset and was doing everything they could to drown the shame. Finally, at the edge of the camp, they heard Astarion return as they were mid-drink.
“Oh, really—” Tav turned and saw his beautiful face pulled into an expression of disgust and disdain. Tav looked from him to the bottles in their arms. “Darling, if you needed more liquid courage, you could have just said so. But if thirst was your only affliction, perhaps next time determine which definition you’re seeking before you string someone along for the ride.” He gave a withering smirk, brow arched high and elegantly. “Maybe then, at least one of us would have gotten some satisfaction tonight.” Without allowing time for more quips, Tav turned and bolted into their tent clutching whatever wine they had, tears stinging their eyes and humiliation forming a deeper pit in their stomach. They heard him scoff before his tent flap closed. The last thing Tav remembered was raising the bottle to their lips.
Karlach and Shadowheart sat quietly, watching Tav curl in on themself slowly as they recounted the evening, toying with the hem of their shirt. “So…yeah. I absolutely choked because I was…I was trying to respect him. And in the process I offended him so deeply, I’m pretty sure he hates me.” Their gaze was fixed on their bowl of barely-touched hash, chewing their lip nervously. “B-But I can’t tell him any of this because how on earth is he going to believe me, and—”
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” Karlach interrupted, not bothering to keep her voice down as she held up her hand. “You stopped because you didn’t want him to think he owed you for anything but he’s the one upset?!”
Shadowheart looked over at Karlach brows furrowed. “Well, it honestly just sounds like miscommunications all around,” she stated simply. “An easy enough fix. So, before I give you the obvious solution to your problem, I have one more question.” Tav simply nodded, not looking up. “What caused you to start spiraling like that? You were at least mostly confident if not for beforehand jitters.”
Tav paused, their hands gripping the bowl tighter. The silence stretched for a moment before they finally spoke. “Look at me,” they shrugged. “I’m not particularly attractive. My skills come in battle and diplomacy. He doesn’t want me like I want him. He wants an arrangement—transactional affection, transactional protection and sustenance.” Tav shifted uncomfortably, their voice small. “I…if I were any shallower, I would have just closed my eyes and done it. And why not? He’s a vision! He’s probably INCREDIBLE!” Tav groaned and fell back against the pillow on their bed roll, letting the bowl fall to their side. “But— I couldn’t. My brain just wouldn’t shut the hell up…I dunno…” Tav stared at the canvas ceiling forlornly, their head still throbbing dully. “I just want to help him…It’s crazy, we just met…but I genuinely want him safe and happy…”
“Aw, soldier—!” Karlach cooed, looking down at them fondly. “You’re a bit of a sap, and it’s precious!”
“Wonderful, so now— you’re not going to like my answer, but it’s for the good of the group,” Shadowheart began, and her tone became stern with an expression to match. “Talk to him. He may not be willing to open up the same way, but it’s like you said— he’s a survivor. He’s in survival mode, so of course he’s going to do what he can. Plus, he’s already naturally suspicious of others, or do you not remember our first encounter with him?” Tav couldn’t help a small smile at the memory. They had joked with Shadowheart about him aggressively flirting as opposed to threatening their life. “The point is you need to just…be you. That’s what caught his eye in the first place. Lay it out, tell him what really happened, and then set the rules,” she advised, her tone softened and she managed a little smile of her own as she nudged Tav’s thigh. “You’ve survived getting Loviatar’s blessing, so we know you’re tough.”
“Being tough and being a giant coward are in completely different camps—” Tav groaned, flipping their arm dramatically over their eyes. Karlach scoffed a bit, and gave the de facto party leader a teasing smile.
“All right— here’s a bit of motivation for you,” Karlach scooted up and loomed over Tav. “You do it, or I’m telling him about your diary.” At that, Tav sat bolt upright, their face flushing deeply.
“You wouldn’t—!”
“Wanna bet?”
Tav collapsed back down and gave a frustrated groan, kicking their feet angrily, covering their face with the pillow and screaming curses into it. Karlach was laughing and Shadowheart was smiling, seeing some of the normal Tav return. “Urgh, FINE!” they spat, exasperated. “I’ll talk to him, just please— !”
It was at that moment that his voice floated through the air, muffled by the canvas of the tent. “Karlach, darling, are you in there?” Astarion’s tone was light but still had a touch of moody sulking underneath. “Your little friend, Clive, is all repaired, like you requested.”
Tav propped themself up on their elbows as Karlach excitedly pushed the flap open, positively glowing at the sight of the teddy bear, neatly stitched back together. Astarion observed Tav with a different look from a short while ago, although still very clearly miffed. Shadowheart looked between the two of them as Karlach gushed about how grateful she was as she carefully handled the stuffed animal. She sighed and gently signaled to Karlach. “We should start getting packed, I’m not keen to hear Lae’zel hissing about her crèche all day.”
“Wha—oh, OH! Right!” Karlach shot Tav a wink and headed off to her own tent, tail swaying happily behind her. Shadowheart left as well, giving Astarion a stern look as she passed him. This left Tav and Astarion in awkward silence. It was Tav who broke it first.
“Did you— did you get breakfast?” Solid open, Tav.
Astarion nodded and simply hummed. “I did, yes. You seem to be a bit more yourself,” he remarked. Tav nodded, and they fell silent again. The elf cleared his throat, looking down at his neatly manicured fingernails. “So…you keep a diary?” he asked, tone returning to his playful and teasing lilt. “How utterly charming.”
Tav’s brow furrowed and they sat up, clutching their pillow to themselves. “N-No—! I don’t keep a diary!” they barked, the flush returning in full force. Astarion chuckled and without invitation ducked inside the tent and closed the flap behind them.
“Oh? Well, then, I suppose you’re fine just sitting and basking in my presence. There’s no threat of me getting tipped off about one lingering in this tent.” He settled himself down next to Tav effortlessly, making himself comfortable. Tav looked away from Astarion, trying to hide their blush from the pale elf in vain. Finally, they muttered something under their breath. “Hmm? I didn’t quite catch that, darling, you’ll need to speak up.”
Tav heaved a sigh, not moving to look at him. “I said I’m sorry about yesterday,” they apologized. Finally glancing back over at him, fiddling with their pillow as they struggled to continue. “I didn’t mean to… to offend or sleight you at all. I just got in my own head. A-and you deserve someone better— ah, better suited to uh, —- fuck, how do I—”
“You’re doing splendidly, darling, take your time.” Astarion sounded amused as they struggled through this apology. Tav took a deep breath and turned to face him more directly.
“Look, I very much wanted to sleep with you. Ridiculously so. A couple of things got in the way…” they restarted, their expression and tone determined now. “And in the interest of honesty, I think it’s only fair you know. First of all, whatever I give to you— blood or blade— I give to you without any expectation of reciprocity. I do it because I want to show you I trust you, and I want you to trust me as well.” Tav was growing confident during this portion of their speech, clutching the pillow tighter to themself. They continued, despite Astarion opening his mouth to speak. “Second of all, if you want to sleep with me—sincerely want to— it needs to be without the expectation that you’re paying me back for anything. Finally, I…” they faltered, their tone wavering. “…I’m not—I’m not a fit match for you. I mean, you’re beautiful and handsome, definitely more than anyone I’ve met prior.”
“Appeals to my vanity are definitely a good move, my sweet,” Astarion hummed, looking amused with his brow arching as Tav continued.
“The point is…I’m good at smoothing things over or shutting things down. I mean, look at me!” They held out their arms and gestured to themself, exasperated. “I don’t see people like me standing next to people like you. That just…it shook my own self-worth, and I don’t want something shallow…I thought I’d be okay with a night of fun, but I can’t help the thought of just being—” Tav’s voice died as they struggled how to phrase it.
“Of being a pawn for someone.” Astarion’s tone was different— soft and understanding, but also a bit distant. Tav couldn’t bear to speak again, to acknowledge that truth, so instead they nodded. The two were silent for a moment, before he spoke again. “Of course you would see through it…you astute little thing.” The smug smile returned to his face and he rolled his eyes, gently shaking his head. As though the mask had slipped momentarily, he began performing again but at the same time, he was confessing. “I will admit, you are indeed a very advantageous person to have around—between the battle prowess and that lovely neck of yours, it would be a shame if you decided one day to end our partnership.”
Tav’s lips tightened slightly, nodding and casting their gaze downward. The pit formed in their stomach again. “Well, now that’s in the open—”
Astarion tutted sharply, cutting Tav off before they could continue, at the same time reaching out and tilting their chin up so their gaze met his once again. “I didn’t interrupt you, darling, now behave and offer the same courtesy,” he chided, shooting them a small reprimanding look. “What I was about to say is in regards to your opinion of yourself— about my standards, as Shadowheart put it earlier, I believe.”
“You were listening for that long—-?!” Tav squawked, wanting to shrink away and hide in their bed roll.
Astarion rolled his eyes, exasperated. “Hardly the point, but yes I happened to overhear a fair amount. May I continue?” he asked, the question clearly rhetorical and his tone clipped. Astarion sighed again before continuing. “Look…even if you don’t consider yourself enough of a beauty to be by my side for even a moment, I do. I’m rather an expert in recognizing it, I’d like to think.” His expression softened slightly, ensuring Tav was looking him directly in his eyes. “If I didn’t believe that for one moment, I would have found some other way to keep you on my side. But—I saw the way you looked at me and in turn I saw things that I found completely and utterly charming, and after that I had no qualms in taking advantage of a situation with a perfectly attractive individual.”
Tav swallowed a bit, eyes darting away from his as they felt the heat rising in their cheeks. “E-even so…I—I wanna give you reasons to trust me.” Tav lifted their chin from his touch, gently taking his hand and holding it. Tav looked down at it as their thumb traced gentle circles along the back of his hand, examining his long lithe fingers, noticing that despite his prowess with bow and dagger his hands were mostly soft. “The right reasons, I mean. Not just you bribing or tricking me into thinking there’s something more.” They lifted their gaze to look at Astarion’s face and saw an expression they hadn’t quite seen before. He looked confused, his eyes wide, brows furrowed creating a gentle crease. He was staring at his hand in theirs as well. His mouth was slightly opened, as though he wanted to speak but was left momentarily speechless. Tav couldn’t help the tiny smile that formed on their face. He looked so lost, like no one had been this honest with him for a long time—maybe ever. Astarion looked up to meet their gaze, again searching Tav’s face, their eyes for any trace of deception only to find none.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he righted himself. He pulled his hand away, giving Tav a small smirk. “Well, it’s something to consider. In any case, it sounds to me as though I’ve already had your trust more than I anticipated. Foolish decision on your part, I have to say,” he teased. Tav grinned and tossed the pillow at him gently.
“Shut up. You’re lucky you’re as handsome as you are—anyone else would have gotten smacked if they tried what you had.” Tav retorted, their tone light, sounding more themselves than they had been.
“How very terrifying of you! I’m certain that even the mightiest of rabbits would be trembling at your visage of fury,” Astarion quipped, snagging the pillow and whacking Tav back. Gentle laughter bubbled up from Tav’s mouth as the tension surrounding them slowly disappeared. “On a more serious note, however…” Astarion began, looking as though he was beginning to struggle slightly with what he wanted to say. “…how are you feeling? Ingesting so much of that swill that you pass out can’t feel incredible.”
“To be honest…? Pretty miserable way to start the day,” Tav admitted. Astarion gave a small hum of acknowledgment, seemingly lost in thought. Then, as though he’d made a decision, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small vial of clear liquid. He took Tav’s hand in his, turning it palm up, and placed the vial in it before closing their fingers around it.
“Hangover cure,” he explained. “I snatched it back at the goblin’s nest. Gale’s already looked at it, so it should be just fine.” Tav blinked down at their hand, then up to Astarion.
“You…what?” The confused look on their face must have amused Astarion, as he gave a small chuckle and tapped the end of Tav’s nose playfully.
“You are absolutely precious when you’re trying to make sense of things,” he quipped. “You didn’t think I was going to just keep an unknown vial of liquid on me, did you? I had Gale examine it, he confirmed it was just a hangover cure, and so I pocketed it.” Astarion explained things with a semi-smug look on his face, his usually tolerable haughty demeanor back in force. “Now, are you going to drink it on your own or do I need to employ some…alternative methods?” Tav flushed at the seductive lilt in his voice at the end and quickly uncorked the vial, tossing back the cure. Slowly but surely, the pain and nausea started to ebb away. Astarion reached his hand out and patted Tav on the cheek gently. “There’s a good pup,” he teased, his brow arched and his expression soft. It seemed things were returning to normal, if not for Tav’s rapidly beating heart. They could feel their face heating up but offered him a small smile, tilting their head subconsciously into his touch. Tav locked eyes with him, and a comfortable silence grew between them. Astarion never once looked away, his eyes searching theirs. Finally, Tav swallowed hard and spoke, their voice trembling a bit.
“S-so…we’re good, right…?” they asked. “I just want to be clear, so there’s no more misunderstandings…”
“Water under the bridge, darling,” Astarion assured, with a smile that seemed more genuine than the others. His eyes flicked down to Tav’s lips before returning to their eyes. “If it’s all the same to you, I think I’d like to kiss and make-up…just to be clear.” His expression shifted slightly, his eyes half-lidded as he leaned a bit closer. Tav shivered slightly, the prospect of kissing Astarion becoming more real every second. They leaned in themselves, but just before they kissed him they paused.
“You’re doing this because you want to, right…?” Tav asked, their voice hushed. “That’s the only reason we should do this…”
Astarion gave a small laugh, his lips grazing Tav’s. “I’m very aware, darling…the question is do you want this…? I need to hear it from you, no matter how obvious the answer might be to me.” He gently brushed his nose against Tav’s, their breaths mingling together. “Tell me you want this, Tav.”
Tav was becoming slightly dizzy, their eyes fluttering shut. “I want this…I want to kiss you…” they mumbled. Then finally, after what seemed like ages, they pressed their lips against his. Soft and chaste, they felt him move his hand from their cheek to the back of their head at the base of their neck. He tilted his head slightly, nibbling their lower lip gently. Tav sighed through their nose, leaning in to him, raising their hand to brace against his chest as they allowed him to deepen the kiss, their lips parting to let his tongue slip past. A small noise escaped Tav as their tongues met and moved against each other. The next thing Tav knew, they were being guided back down to lay on their bedroll, Astarion never once breaking their kiss. His free hand was on their hip as he slotted himself between Tav’s legs, one knee pushing them wider apart. When they did break for air, Tav was gasping lightly, their face flushed and their hands moving to cradle his face, coaxing him back and kissing him with more intensity and heat than before. Astarion smiled against their lips, the hand cradling Tav’s head to rest along the column of their throat.
“You’re exquisite, darling…” he mumbles, kissing along their jawline to their ear, gently nipping at their earlobe. “A shame that your nerves got the best of you last night…I can glean from this alone, you would have been truly divine .”
Tav swallowed hard and just as they were about to answer, they heard Shadowheart outside of Tav’s tent. “Is everything all right? We’re getting ready to pack up, and it’s getting late in the day.”
Tav froze but Astarion continued as if there was nothing interrupting them. “We– I-I-I mean, I’ll be with you in a moment–!” Tav called back to her, frantically tapping on the pale elf, trying to get him to cease in his advances, wriggling and attempting to keep the gasp out of their tone. “Astarion–!” Tav hissed, as he nipped a particularly sensitive part of their neck. “W-we need to go…!”
“What’s the rush? We can spare a few moments, and I’m not quite done making up to you yet.” Astarion purred, pressing gentle kisses along their jugular, paying special attention to the mostly healed bite marks from his previous feedings. Tav swallowed again and gave a huff, gently tugging on the back of his shirt.
“I’m serious , Astarion–!” they whined, half-heartedly trying to push him up. “W-we can do this later, it won’t do either of us any good to be all worn out before the day’s march even begins–!” At that, Astarion pulled away and smirked down at Tav.
“That is a fair point, darling,” he hummed. “Do you truly mean it, that we can pick up where we left off later?” Tav nodded emphatically, desperate to avoid any teasing from their fellow party members from their prolonged absence.
“Yes– when we settle down, we can pick up from right here— and you can feed if you need to.”
Astarion leaned down and gently pecked Tav on the tip of their nose. “Then I’ll see your delicious self tonight.” He rose to his feet, offering Tav a hand up. “And darling? If you change your mind, be a lamb and just say so. It does neither of us any good to have a conversation like this more than once, hm?”
Tav gave him a small smile, nodding in agreement. “It certainly does not. I promise, if I get nervous or need to cancel you’ll be the first to know.”
Without another word, Astarion gave a small flippant smile before exiting the tent and almost immediately began bickering with Gale. Tav took another moment to themselves, feeling exponentially lighter and possibly a bit giddy.
This seemed like a giant step forward, and the distance between Tav and Astarion felt infinitely less vast than before. Maybe— just maybe— there could be something between them, no matter how brief.
Tav hoped that it could be something real. He deserved something real.