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Ow. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Oh goddamn shitting fuck. Fuck, it fucking hurts. Owww.
At least these are Gerri's inner thoughts. She can hear Roman across the room--everyone can hear Roman across the room--expressing his every feeling. "Ow. Fucking cocksucker! Fuck. Shitting goddamn Jesus Christ!"
Gerri sighs and gives her tattoo artist, a nice young woman named Heather who has a colorful mohawk and about 7 earrings in each ear, a little grin, hoping that she understands Gerri did, in fact, come here with this moron, but she thinks he's exasperating, too. Of course she's going home with him, and she's sleeping with him, and, oh, she's married to him, but Heather doesn't need to know that.
"You know, I get plenty of Swifties in here who want Taylor tattoos, but none..." Heather shrugs in a way that makes Gerri laugh. She doesn't need to finish the sentence; Gerri knows what she means.
"Not many who are of a certain age? And on Valentine's Day, of all days? Yes, well, I can assure you that I am just as surprised as you are," Gerri says, shaking her head.
"So what made you--"
"It all started on our honeymoon!" Roman exclaims from across the room. Gerri groans, but she also can't help but smile. She knows that he'll be telling this damn story--whether anyone asks about it or not--well into the future.
"Honeymoon?" Heather asks, raising her eyebrows. Well, there goes that little secret.
"Unfortunately," Gerri says under her breath.
"I heard that!"
Gerri exhales sharply as Heather fills in the tattoo on her ankle. The lyrics she had tattooed earlier, "But it's golden," were a cake walk compared to the rays of sunshine Heather is working now. Fuck.
Fuck, it really fucking hurts. She should have made Roman hold her hand before he sat down for his own tattoo. His says "Like daylight," and has the same ray of sun.
"Sorry," Heather says, but she doesn't really look all that sorry. Gerri has never met Heather before but she may actually hate her now. "Well, tell me about the honeymoon. I'm invested now."
*****
Ultimately they decided on going to Venice for their honeymoon. It just seemed right, after all the two of them had been through together. Roman had suggested Kyoto at first, since Japan was obviously such a significant piece of their love story, but it was Gerri who brought up Italy. It had been nearly three years since their doomed trip, and they desperately wanted to start over. To make new, happier memories. Better memories.
Roman managed to get tickets--Gerri didn't ask how much they cost because she really didn't want to know--to a Taylor Swift concert on their second night in Venice. Gerri never realized Roman was such a huge fan, but he knew the lyrics to nearly every song. Gerri knew a few of them herself since her daughters had been obsessed since they were teenagers.
But it was Talyor performing "Daylight" that made Gerri's heart start to beat faster.
I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you
I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you
I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night
And now I see daylight, I only see daylight
Roman could tell that the lyrics were thoroughly resonating with her, and he didn't have to ask why. He just held her hand tightly and let her feel the music flow through her soul.
It's just that... Gerri had been sleeping for so long. She was used to waking up, going to the office, cleaning up everyone else's messes and going home. She was a filing cabinet, and that had been okay with her. Until Roman came along and offered her everything she'd ever wanted. Of course, they had to break each other's hearts over and over again first, but they healed. It wasn't easy. But they healed.
Later that night in the hotel, after a very thorough post-concert orgasm or two, Roman pulled her close to him and lovingly brushed his lips against her forehead. "Hey, have you ever thought about getting a tattoo?"
Gerri chuckled. She was frankly just a little annoyed that he was interrupting their post-coital bliss with such a random question. He usually liked to have a few minutes of quiet afterwards, since this was all so very new to him. "Well, no, not really. I don't know a lot of lawyers who work in the corporate world with tattoos. It's not very professional. Why, have you?"
Roman nodded. He had a very serious look on his face that was starting to concern her. "I've always kind of had this fantasy where I'd get matching tattoos with the woman I married. It's been like... a weird obsession of mine since I was a kid."
"Okay..." Gerri said slowly. She was starting to get the picture, but she didn't love the drawing. "Roman, I don't--that's not something--"
"I know it's not something you would ever normally consider, but just think about it! You can get it somewhere on your body that no one else but me can see. And I'd get one in the same place. We'll match!"
"Okay, but that's not my only concern--"
He grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together. "I noticed that you really seemed to relate to 'Daylight' tonight at the concert. I did, too. I always have, ever since the first time I heard it. It's always made me think of you. You and me. Maybe we can both get a lyrics tattoo. It would be, like, our special song. Doesn't that sound nice?"
She wasn't sure "nice" is how she would describe it, but it didn't sound... so bad? She supposed.
Roman could see that she was thinking about it. Weighing the pros and cons. "It would be so fucking amazing, Gerri. Please just give it some thought?"
Gerri had no intention of saying yes to this random, arbitrary dream of Roman's, this flight of fancy that he'd never brought up until this very moment. But she could at least not dismiss him right away. She could at least give him a little bit of time.
"I'll sleep on it, sweetheart, okay? I'll think about it and I'll sleep on it."
This seemed to give him some satisfaction. And as Gerri laid peacefully in his arms, her back against his solid, soft tummy, she did think about it. She thought about how Roman still, maybe even subconsciously, couldn't believe that she loved him just as much as he loved her. That she wanted to be with him, that she really, actually married him, and that this isn't all a dream.
That he wasn't going to wake up tomorrow and the right side of the bed would be empty. Gerri understood. He'd never had anything as steady, as dependable, as secure as their relationship. As their marriage. He'd never had anything to hold onto that he knew wouldn't kick him out and wait for him to come back.
She didn't love the idea of a tattoo. But she did love Roman. He'd made so many compromises for her--they made so many compromises for each other. Maybe this one wasn't too much to ask for.
So when they woke up with the bright morning sun shining on their faces, Gerri turned to him, loving that beautiful smile on his face when he saw her as he sleepily opened his eyes.
"Fuck, I love waking up to you," he said, kissing her softly. She didn't even mind his morning breath. "Waking up to my gorgeous, intelligent, amazing, wonderful wife."
He says this every morning. She doesn't get tired of it.
"I know, sweetheart. Me, too. Always."
She'd give him credit--instead of asking right away, it took him at least a minute to nervously stammer, "So... did you think about it?"
Gerri laughed. "Yes, Rome. I thought about it."
Roman's eyes lit up and as usual, he just looked too damn adorable for her to resist. It was always her downfall. "And what did you decide?"
Gerri gave him a small peck on his cute nose. "I'll make a deal with you--if you finish your screenplay and send it to Holly, we can get matching tattoos."
Holly was one of Gerri's old college friends who was now a producer at a studio in Los Angeles. Gerri sent her "Robot Olympics" a few months ago, and while it wasn't exactly what she was looking for at the time, she did seem interested in what else Roman had to offer. Gerri told her about the screenplay he was currently working on, and she wanted to take a look at it.
Roman was excited about the prospect, but he was also--Gerri would say he was scared. Hesitant. Almost shy about showing his work to anyone else. Gerri was trying so hard to convince him, support him, to persuade him to finish.
Roman immediately sprang up and rolled on top of her, making her laugh and wrap her arms around his tiny little waist. "Are you fucking serious? You'll really do it?"
Gerri nodded. "I have to be honest, sweetheart--I don't understand why it's so important to you, but if it means that much, I will do it. And I really, really want you to finish the script, Roman. It's a beautiful story and it deserves to be told."
"I will, baby. I'm so close. I just needed this little push. Oh, man, I can't fucking wait!" He leaned down and gave her a very passionate kiss, which turned into round two of the kind of vigorous, exuberant, enthusiastic sex that is only possible on a honeymoon.
Roman was true to his word--two days after they returned from New York, he began diligently typing away on the screenplay, and five weeks later he was finished. Gerri sat down in the massive library in their new apartment and read it from start to finish. It was... brilliant. She had a few notes for him, of course, but it was everything Roman Roy stood for--it was funny, it was heartbreaking, it was beautiful, and in the end, it was truly uplifting. She knew it was going to be highly sought after once it made it to the right people.
And now she had to get this stupid fucking tattoo.
*****
Except... the tattoo isn't that stupid. It actually looks pretty damn good when Heather is finished. And when Roman hobbles over to her after his own is done, he admires it, too.
"Fuck, that looks hot. Ughhh. I can't wait to lick it after it heals."
Heather looks up at Gerri, who shrugs as though she has no idea why she loves this idiot so much.
"You know what, I get it," Heather says. She hands Gerri her after care instructions and they both go up to the counter to pay. "It actually makes total sense to me now."
"We get that a lot," Gerri says, nodding. All of her friends have said it. All of Roman's friends have said it. Random strangers on the street have said it. From far away, it might seem kind of odd. But up close, it all starts to come together.
"Fuck, my ankle is burning," Roman says as they walk out to the car that's waiting for them. "Is your ankle just really fucking burning?"
"It's not the most pleasant feeling in the world, I can tell you that much," Gerri says as he opens the door for her. "But as a smart woman once said, I wanna be defined by the things that I love, not the things I hate, not the things that I'm afraid of."
Roman giggles and pulls her in for a kiss. "Damn, that's hot. Please quote Taylor lyrics that you just got tattooed on yourself more often."
"How about forever?" Gerri says softly, moving closer to him so she can rest her head on his chest. His arm around her shoulder, his cheek against her hair, makes her feel less of the pain that's radiating through her body now.
"Forever sounds really fuckin' good to me."
It's not the way Gerri has ever spent Valentine's Day before, but she thinks that it might just be the most romantic one she's ever had.
*****
Like daylight
It's golden like daylight
You gotta step into the daylight and let it go
Just let it go, let it go