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It was well past midnight by the time Ben heard a key being shoved into the lock of the front door. He closed his book and set it on the side table in time to see Rey step inside. Her shoulders hung heavy from exhaustion and dark circles marred the skin beneath her eyes. Pieces of hair fell from her once neatly made bun and framed her freckled face. He resisted the urge to take the five steps across their small apartment and brush them away.
He didn’t waste time asking her how her shift was. He knew the hours on her feet waitressing were taxing for her. Instead he asked, “Are you hungry?”
A faint smile lightened her face as she looked up at him. “A little.”
He walked towards her then, wanting only to hold her, to shoulder some of the weight she carried. He rubbed his thumb along her cheek bone, drawing a picture between her freckles. Pulling her close, he tucked her head under his chin. Several moments past, but Ben could stay like that forever, holding Rey. The sun could collapse, stars could explode, and he wouldn’t notice a thing so long as he could feel her delicate fingers digging into his back and smell the faint coconut of her shampoo.
“Could you make me an omelet? With peppers?” Rey asked.
Ben kissed the top of her head. “Do you want some cheese mixed in?”
“Do you really have to ask?”
Ben laughed softly before stepping into the kitchen. This had become their routine. Rey returned home from her late shift at the diner and Ben stayed up waiting for her, then would cook her a meal. Sometimes he would give her a foot rub after, or they would just talk about their days. Rey gave up on telling Ben that he didn’t need to stay up for her. He couldn’t fall asleep without her by his side, laying her head on his chest. He’d much rather be there waiting for her, ready to give her anything she needed.
Rey sat at the counter, feet swinging limply from the bar stool as she rested her chin on her palm. She watched him with tired eyes as he pulled out a pan and her requested ingredients and began preparing her omelet. A silence remained save for the cracking of eggs and clicking of the pan on the stove.
There was a tension in Rey’s shoulders that Ben hadn’t noticed before. A faint line rested between her dark brows. Ben didn’t ask, though he had an idea of what troubled Rey. She had been working grueling hours on her feet as a waitress at the same diner for years. She smiled less, and sometimes it felt like her laugh only existed in his memory. She often left half her meals uneaten, and when he held her at night, Ben could feel the sharp jut of her ribs where her muscles had softened and withered. Ben wanted to help her; he just didn’t know how.
Rey ate her omelet slowly as Ben cooked one for himself, then he sat beside her, elbows brushing as they ate.
Rey left half her omelet on her plate before setting her fork down with a clink and sighed. Ben’s heart ached for her. Sometimes it seemed like she was lost in a thick fog of despair, too far for him to reach. No matter if he spoke, if he screamed, went running after her into the haze, he could never fully reach her when she fell into it.
Ben squeezed Rey’s knee. “Come on, let’s take a drive.”
She turned to him, eyes laced with curiosity now. “Why?”
“To find something new.”
*
Streetlights lit the road in a hazy orange glow as they drove out past the city until tall pines replaced office buildings. Folk music played softly from the radio as Rey leaned her temple against the window, intently watching the landscape as it changed.
“The stars shine brighter out here,” she murmured. “I never realize how much I miss them until I can see them again.”
Ben glanced at her from the driver’s side, at the beautiful line of her jaw, the ridge of her cheek bone, and the freckles dotting her cheek that never cease to mesmerize him. She never ceased to mesmerize him.
“I thought you might need to…escape. Even if only for a little while.”
She looked back at him, adoration shining in her eyes. “Thank you.”
They drove on until the pines grew close together, blocking out the moonlight. Ben turned off the road onto a graveled pullout.
Rey leaned closer to the window. “A lake. I didn’t even know this was here. How did you know about this?”
Ben put the car in park and stepped out of the car. Rey unbuckled her seatbelt with a renewed excitement and shut the door behind her.
“My office had a picnic retreat thing here one time. I’ve been saving it for a special occasion.”
Rey looked at him with disbelief. “This isn’t a special occasion.”
He grinned at her. “Sure it is.” He reached his hand out to her and she took it, warm fingers intertwining with his. “There’s a footpath this way.”
He guided her down closer to the lake, lighting the path as best he could with his phone. He cursed himself for not thinking this plan through, but then he looked over at Rey, at the wonder on her face, and didn’t regret a thing.
The clean scent of fresh water and summer sage laced the air. Ben breathed it in as if it would cleanse his lungs and seal over old wounds. He looked back at Rey, hoping she might feel a shred of the same healing.
The surface of the lake rippled softly with the breeze, making the reflection of the stars and moon dance faintly. More trees crowned the shores of the lake, separated by granite boulders and hollow logs. Ben hardly recognized it at night. But in the darkness lit by the soft moonlight, he thought it was more beautiful.
Out here beyond the city felt like an entirely new world. The lake’s clear waters didn’t know of their strife. The stars, blocked out by the city lights, had yet to learn of Rey’s pain, of Ben’s helplessness. But the moon knew, glowing brighter than streetlights and shining stars. The moon knew of Rey’s solemn late night bus rides and Ben’s hours of mindless reading as he waited for her to return home.
They wandered to a grassy patch a few feet away from the lapping waters, then laid down so close their shoulders pressed together as they gazed up at the stars, gleaming like shattered shards of glass sinking into an abyss.
Rey inched her hand closer to Ben’s until their fingers tangled together once more. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
Ben turned his head towards her, soft grass brushing his cheek. “You’re welcome.”
Crickets chimed nearby in time with the lapping waters and rustling of pine needles. A song only they could hear in this moment.
“Do you ever wonder about the stars?” Rey asked. “Imagine if they are something more, like glowing key holes into other worlds, disguised as pinpricks hung in the midnight sky?”
She was so beautiful, sometimes it hurt to look at her. Even now, after all these years, he could feel his heart thumping beneath his ribs, his blood heat in his veins. He brushed his thumb across the top of her hand, back and forth, reminding himself that she was real. That this was real.
“If that’s true, then I wonder what those other worlds see when they look at their stars. Or would we share the same stars?” Ben wondered.
“Do you think there are other worlds out there?” Rey asked.
“Like aliens?”
“No, I know aliens are real,” Rey said with absolute surety. “I mean like other realities. Do you think we would find each other in another universe?”
Ben was quiet for a moment, contemplating the vastness of her question. “Yes. Even if there are ten thousand other worlds where you and I exist, I know we’ll find each other. Always. Our fates are tied together, Rey. I would search for you, wait for you, unwittingly or knowingly, until our paths cross. Until I fall so deeply in love with you that I can no longer imagine a life without you in it.”
Rey only squeezed his hand, but he saw the shine of unshed tears in her eyes, glittering in the moonlight.
“Do you think we’re happy?” She asked, her voice breaking on the last word.
Ben squeezed her hand back and opened his mouth to say something, though he wasn’t sure what.
“Because I’m not…I’m not sure I’m happy. I want to be, Ben, I really do. I just don’t I know how to be happy anymore. I ride the bus home from work, and I just feel empty. Like a chasm has split open within me and swallowed who I used to be. I look forward to nights because then I don’t have to be awake anymore, I don’t have to feel like this anymore. I don’t know how to escape it.”
Ben felt the shake in Rey’s hand, heard her uneven breathing as tears slipped down her cheeks and into the grass.
“Shh, I’ve got you.” He kissed away her tears as she cried harder, then pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her shuddering body. Her small fists clung to his flannel shirt as he rubbed her back until her breathing steadied.
A barb of fear nettled into his skin. “Is it me?” Ben asked.
Rey shook her head vigorously. “No, of course not. I love you. You are the only thing tethering me to reality anymore. The only thing I look forward to at the end of the day.”
“I thought that was sleep,” Ben said lightly.
Rey nudged his shoulder half-heartedly. But that line between her brows remained as she bit her lip.
He pressed his forehead to hers, summoning the courage to speak the next words that he’d left unspoken for months.
“I think you should quit the diner,” he said.
Rey sniffled. “What?”
Ben wiped her remaining tears away. “I can see how that job drains you. The long shifts and late nights. Your manager that talks down to you. I think you could use some time to recenter yourself. Rest. Just let yourself have a break.”
“But I need the money. I can’t just rely on your paycheck,” she said.
“Yes, you can. I make enough for both of us to get by for a few months, maybe a year. Let me help you, Rey. Please.” He was begging now, but he didn’t care. The more he thought about it, the more he was sure this would help her. Maybe it wouldn’t solve everything, but at least she would have a better sleep schedule. She would actually have time to go to that new plant store she’d been talking about for weeks.
“I didn’t suggest it before because I didn’t want you to feel like I was pushing you to do something. I thought it should be your idea to leave your job, but I hate seeing you this way.”
Rey pulled her hand from him. His heart plummeted then, at the absence of her warmth. Ben stayed silent, letting her think it over. This was a big decision, he knew that. But she didn’t have to do this alone.
“I’ve had this job for so long. I’ve only ever relied on myself. I’m not sure I know how to let someone else take care of me,” Rey whispered.
Ben brushed a lock of her dark brown hair behind her ear. “It’s okay to let someone help you. All I want to do is help you, Rey.”
After several minutes of agonizing silence, Rey said, “Well, if I quit, I’d never have to hear Carl yell at me to run the plates out quicker or refill customers’ drinks after I just did.” She tapped her fingers on her stomach in a quick pattern, working it out as she spoke. “I could apply to jobs in graphic design, actually use my degree.” Her fingers stilled. “I miss creating things,” she finished quietly.
“And I miss that look on your face after you’ve just made something you’re proud of,” Ben whispered.
“Do you think I can actually do this?” Rey asked.
“Of course I do. I think you could do anything you want, Rey.”
She smiled then, a quiet, shy smile and damn if it wasn’t the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Hope softened the lines in her face, making her seem younger, lighter. That same hope bloomed in Ben’s chest.
He leaned closer and pressed his lips to Rey’s in a tentative kiss. He wasn’t sure if this was what she wanted right now, but Rey kissed him back as if he was what she needed. As if he was her medicine, a balm to all of her hurts and worries.
Ben cradled her neck in his hand as their lips met like crashing waves on an ocean shore, a ruinously beautiful tryst. Her hands plunged into the dark waves of his hair as he trailed hot kisses down her jaw, the hollow of her throat, the ridge of her collar bone. Rey let out a gasp that made his blood heat. She pulled his lips back to hers.
“I want forever with you,” she whispered against his mouth.
“Then forever you shall have.”
*
Later they drove back in the comfortable silence only known by souls intertwined with love. Rey laid her head back against the seat and closed her eyes, but Ben knew she was feigning sleep by the way her lips turned up in a faint smile. He held her hand in a loose grasp, his other hand on the steering wheel, guided home by the streetlights glowing beneath the stars.
Rey had dozed off by the time they arrived home. Ben unbuckled her seatbelt and gently lifted her from the car, shoulders cradled under one arm and her knees cradled by the other. He laid her down on their bed, nudged off her boots, then covered her up with the comforter before climbing beneath the blankets with her. He draped one arm across her slim waist, and she snuggle in closer to him, resisting her head on his beating heart. She would be okay. They would both be okay.
Ben remembered what Rey had said about the stars being glowing keyholes into other worlds, but truthfully, Ben didn’t need any other world. All he needed was Rey with him in this one.