Work Text:
“It looks like a nugget.”
“What?”
“Like a little chicken nugget.”
“It’s not a nugget! And it’s not an it!”
“You just called it, it.”
“Yes but – that’s not – you just,” Ali fumed. “It’s a baby, Ash.”
“Yeah, but it looks like a nugget,” Ashlyn complained. “I’m sorry, honey. You’re hardly showing and it’s not kicking yet and it doesn’t look like a baby at all to me. I’m ready to feel like a mom, and I don’t.”
“Baby.” Ali tugged on Ashlyn’s hand until she was close enough for Ali to take her wife’s face in her hands. “You are as much of a mother as I am, and you’re going to be an amazing one, okay? Me carrying the baby will not change that. He or she is going to love you just as much, probably more because you’re going to be so awesome. And I promise you a baby’s in there. I haven’t been throwing up every day for nothing. You’ll be able to see soon enough.”
“Well, your boobs are already bigger,” allowed Ashlyn, grinning.
It was at this moment the ultrasound technician, who’d been making notes off to the side while the couple observed their sonogram, cleared her throat.
Ali flushed. “Ashlyn!”
“Sorry,” her wife muttered, unable to remove her grin.
Later that night as they lay in bed, Ali reached for Ashlyn’s hand and placed it on her slightly rounded belly. “We’re telling everyone tomorrow. Are you excited?”
“Course I am.”
“Unless you’d rather not. You’re getting the start next week. I don’t want it to overshadow that.”
Ashlyn snorted softly. “A friendly against Mexico. Not a big deal, babe. I’m much more excited about our baby.”
“Are you?” Ali pulled away and sat up. “You don’t seem like it.”
“Alex …” Ashlyn peered at her wife in the dark. “Alexandra! Are you pouting?”
“No!” she denied hotly although her tone spoke otherwise. “You know, I just wouldn’t mind if you acted like it.”
“Jesus, Al, am I supposed to shout it from the rooftops? We’ve never been like that. Listen, I can’t even tell you how excited I am, okay? Every day I wake up, and I roll over to look at you, and I remember that you’re my wife and you’re gonna have our baby, and it’s like Christmas morning every single time.”
Mollified (because if anyone knew how much Ashlyn loved Christmas, it was Ali), Ali let herself be pulled close by her wife, giving her a soft kiss. They cuddled in silence for a while, exchanging the occasional lazy kiss with both content not to take it any further, and Ashlyn was nodding off when Ali spoke again.
“You know what would help?”
“Hmm?”
“You know what would help you feel closer to her?”
Ashlyn stirred. “Closer to who?”
“The baby, silly.”
“Who says it’s a girl?”
“I do,” Ali announced confidently. “I can tell.”
“Look at you, the baby whisperer.”
“No, that’s what I want you to do.”
Ashlyn blinked. “Honey, you’re gonna have to try and make more sense.”
Ali took her wife’s hand and spread it across her belly again. “Talk to her. I’ve read they can recognize your voice in the womb.”
Ashlyn was glad Ali couldn’t see her skeptical expression in the dark, but she’d been in the mood to indulge her pregnant wife ever since the first test came back positive.
(Their friends would argue Ashlyn had been in the mood to indulge her since the moment Ali had flashed her that smile across a hotel lobby, but Ashlyn had spent the last seven years denying that and she wasn’t about to start admitting anything now.)
She slid down the sheets until she was faced with Ali’s stomach. Where their baby was, she reminded herself. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.
Clearing her throat, she glanced up at Ali. “I feel stupid,” she admitted.
“You don’t have to, baby,” said Ali, stroking her blonde locks. “It was just an idea. I talk to her all the time.”
Of course she did. Ali, who claimed she was pregnant long before the test confirmed, who just knew it was a girl and no doubt she was right, who was glowing even when slumped next to the toilet because it all meant a baby was growing. Ali, who got to feel their baby inside her, who got to pass on her gorgeous genes, who was already the perfect mom, fondness for wine and all.
Furiously blinking away sudden tears, Ashlyn ran her hand over Ali’s belly again, trying to imagine she could feel the tiny human inside. Their baby would have two perfect moms or her name wasn’t Ashlyn Michelle Krieger-Harris. She waited until she was sure her voice was steady.
“Hey there, little nugget.”
Ali groaned.
~
“How about Kelley?”
“For the last time, we’re not naming her after you.”
“Geeeez,” drawled Kelley O’Hara, raising her eyebrows. “It was just a suggestion. Have fun dealing with those hormones, Ash.”
“Drives a girl to drink,” she replied, winking and tipping her wine glass at Ali, who scowled.
“Who has wine at a baby shower? That is so unfair.”
Ashlyn grinned, taking an exaggerated drink before sitting next to Ali and resting her arm over her wife’s shoulders. “Have a sip, Al, it won’t hurt. Little Kayla’s gonna have your genes and will probably want wine in her bottle.”
“Kayla?” Ali furrowed her brow.
“No?”
“No.”
Ashlyn sighed, leaning her head against her wife’s. “We’re never going to pick a name, are we?”
“Of course we will. Obviously I’m going to get my way eventually.”
“Oh, really, Princess?”
Ali smiled at her, crinkling her nose and leaning in for a kiss. “Really.”
As the baby shower went on, Ashlyn was glad for the wine. She appreciated that their friends and family loved them and wanted to celebrate their baby, but this was the fourth baby shower and she was over it. The DC shower, the Orlando shower, the Miami shower, and now this, with nearly all of their National Team teammates at HAO’s house in North Carolina. It hadn’t been their most pleasant road trip ever, with a wife who was eight months pregnant, but as ARod reminded them, one hand on her own swelling belly and the other trying to keep ahold of four-year-old Ryan, their days of fun road trips, pulling over at deserted rest stops to make out and singing along with The Spice Girls at the top of their lungs, were over.
Yet somehow, Ashlyn surmised as she watched Ali make faces for little Nathan Holiday, she was okay with that.
“One more game!” Whitney announced.
She was met with mixed reactions, but Ali cheered, so Ashlyn was up for it. She steered a rather tipsy Kling to a seat next to Moe before leaning on the back of Ali’s chair and playing with her hair, feeling her heart flutter when Ali absentmindedly pulled one of her hands to her lips.
“So, as you all probably know, the Golden Couple over here can’t pick a name for their future Tarheel,” said Heather, laughter drowning out Ali’s protest. “So what everyone is going to do is write down one name for Ali and Ash to take home.”
“And whoever they pick gets to be the godmother!” shouted Mittsy.
“Uh, guys, do we get a choice in this?” Ashlyn asked, only half joking.
“No!” was the general consensus.
Ashlyn rolled her eyes, but as the girls took their time picking names (Pinoe offered ten dollars to anyone who would put down Cher), she could see Ali was beaming. She leaned down until her chin rested on Ali’s shoulder and she could whisper in her ear.
“Whatcha smiling about, pretty lady?”
“Our baby isn’t even born yet, and all these people already love her,” Ali said softly. “She’s so lucky.”
“You’re her mom, so she already was.”
Ali twisted until she could meet her wife’s eyes. “Only because I have you to do it with me.”
Ignoring the catcalls, they kissed, not separating until Ashlyn could feel desire pooling inside her.
Later that night, snuggled in HAO’s guest room, they flipped through the names, laughing at some of the more outrageous suggestions and shrugging at others.
“This is hopeless,” Ashlyn remarked. “At this point I’m officially going with Ashlyn Junior. It’ll catch on.”
“Yeah, you do that, babe,” Ali mumbled, picking another slip of paper out of the box.
“Oh, look at this one. ‘Kelly, but without the second E. PS – Hope wrote this.’ Nice try, Kel.” When Ali didn’t join in her laughter, she nudged her. “She’s really stuck on this Kelley thing, isn’t she? Al? Earth to Alex?”
Ali turned to her, a gleam lighting up her brown eyes. She was clutching something to her chest. “I have an idea.”
Ashlyn hadn’t seen that look on her face since the last time she bought a new purse.
“What do you think about … Emma Michelle?”
“Emma … Michelle?” Ashlyn repeated. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. I mean, I’m carrying her, and let’s be honest, she’ll probably look like a Krieger, so I just thought …” Ali trailed off, biting her lip. “It sounds better than Emma Blaire, anyway.”
“Emma Michelle,” Ashlyn repeated again, rolling the name over her tongue. She’d pictured their baby with a head full of brown hair and Ali’s wide smile a thousand times, and she brought it to her mind again. “Emma Michelle. I think it’s great, honey.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Ashlyn kissed her firmly. “I can’t believe you want to name her after me. That’s awesome. You’re awesome.” She kissed her again, half wishing they were in a hotel, without their best friend on the other side of the wall. “Who picked Emma?”
“Carli.”
“No way. We chose Carli’s name? Carli Lloyd is going to be our baby’s godmother? Does she even hold babies?”
Ali laughed, holding out the slip of paper. Sure enough, there was Carli’s handwriting.
“We’ll nickname her Hat Trick and be done with it,” decided Ashlyn before sliding down for her nightly chat with the baby. With Ali’s fingers running through her blonde hair, she pressed a kiss to Ali’s rounded belly. “Let’s see what she thinks. Hey there, little nugget, it’s your mama. I have good news! You’re not just Baby Girl Krieger-Harris anymore. I know, I know, that had a certain flow to it, but I think you’ll like this better. What do you think about Emma Michelle?”
They both felt the kick, and Ashlyn shared a dimpled smile with her wife before returning her attention to the active baby. “Me too, nugget, me too.”
~
“Ash.”
“Hmmm?”
“Baby, wake up.”
Ashlyn rolled over without opening her eyes, sliding one hand up Ali’s side until she cupped a breast. Given Ali’s increasing discomfort, it had been too long, and Sydney swore they wouldn’t have the energy after the baby was born.
“Mmm, Alex, I’ve missed this.”
“So have I, love, but I don’t think now is the best time.”
Ashlyn made a sleepy whine, kissing her wife’s neck. “Al, we literally had a quickie on the bus while everyone else was in the locker room once. There’s never a bad time.”
“Ashlyn.” Wait a minute, Ashlyn’s half-asleep mind told her, that wasn’t her let’s-have-lazy-sex voice, that was her I’m-annoyed-with-my-wife tone. The one that always got Ashlyn in trouble. “I’m 40 weeks and three days pregnant and the size of a small whale. I don’t remember the last time I initiated sex. Do you really think that’s why I woke you up?”
Ashlyn finally cracked open one eye. Still dark. “Then whyyyy, honey?”
“I thought you might want to know I’m in labor.”
Ashlyn sat bolt upright. “Labor? Like you’re having the baby?” Ali sighed, and Ashlyn didn’t have to see her to know the look she was giving. “Oh. You’re having the baby. Okay. Okay. We can do this. We’re prepared. Oh my God, we’re gonna be parents.”
“About nine months too late for that panic, honey.”
Ali switched on a light. Ashlyn flew out of bed, gently helping Ali up before grabbing the nearest joggers and t-shirt should could find, fashion for once the last thing on her mind. Tugging on a random pair of sneakers, she hopped out of the room, snatching her keys, phone, and the bag that had been prepared for weeks, and finally waiting impatiently at the garage door.
“Alex?” she called after what felt like a year of waiting.
Worried, she rushed back into their bedroom. No Ali, but a light shone from their bathroom. “Ali!”
Her wife looked up from the bathroom counter, mascara wand in hand. “Yes?”
“Are you – are you actually putting on mascara? While you’re in labor?” Ashlyn said in disbelief.
“Yes. Look good, feel good, birth good,” Ali replied primly. “Besides, there are going to be pictures.”
Ashlyn stared while Ali completed her mascara and added a coat of lipstick. “Do you feel better now, Alexandra Blaire?”
“Yes,” was the slightly smug response she received. Ashlyn almost couldn’t believe Ali was so calm, but then again except for a seventh-month meltdown about wipe warmers, Ali had been calm her entire pregnancy. She was the mom, and for a moment the feelings of inadequacy that had plagued Ashlyn reappeared.
“You know, I’m not having the baby right –“ Ali broke off, sucking in her breath, and Ashlyn was there in a second, wrapping her arms around her until the contraction passed. “- nowwwww,” Ali finished.
“You sure about that?”
“Yes. Hey, come here.” Ali turned around, pulling Ashlyn as close as she could given her stomach and resting their foreheads against each other. She didn’t speak again for a long moment, and they just gazed at each other. When Ali did speak, she was soft, quiet. “Before everything changes, I want you to know there is no other person in the world I’d rather do this with. You have been so patient, so loving, and so supportive this entire time. It makes me ache to think of how perfect a mom you’re going to be. The only thing I’m sad about is that this baby won’t have that cute little dimple of yours. I love you, Ashlyn, I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Alex,” Ashlyn breathed, and kissed her until another contraction reminded them of certain pressing matters.
“Okay, now let’s go, but first?”
“Yeah?”
“You might want to get shoes that match each other.” Ali pointed.
Laughing, Ashlyn changed one of her shoes before helping her wife into the car, where Ali turned to her and squeezed her hand, offering a megawatt smile. “Let’s go have a baby.”
~
Later, Ashlyn would remember how long the hours had seemed, and how fast their last moments of childfree life slipped past. Later, she would remember wanting to cry because Ali was in pain, wanting to take it away from her, and really wanting her hand back before Ali broke it. Later, she would remember being utterly terrified and happier than she’d been even on her wedding day. Later, Ashlyn would remember everything.
But right now it was all she could do to breathe. While they had been cleaning up Ali and the baby (Emma Michelle, her daughter!), Ashlyn slipped out to tell their anxious parents and brothers (and making Kyle swear not to tweet a word yet), and text their best friends, trusting Whitney, Liz, Jess, and HAO to tell the rest of their loved ones. Then she’d returned to their room just in time to see the nurse hand the baby (their daughter!) to Ali.
Who knew you could watch someone fall in love at first sight? It was all over Ali’s tired, beautiful face as she gazed at Emma, utterly oblivious to anything else in the world.
Or so Ashlyn thought until Ali finally looked up, offering her a shaky smile. “Come here, baby. Come meet our daughter.”
“Oh,” Ashlyn breathed as she gingerly perched on the edge of Ali’s bed, peering down at the small bundle. “Oh, look at her, Alex. She’s perfect.”
“She is, isn’t she?”
They sat quietly, the little family in a moment of pure happiness. Emma was tiny and still red, with the faintest smattering of dark hair already on her head. She would be a Krieger, Ashlyn knew, and for the first time she was perfectly fine with that.
“I love you, Alexandra,” Ashlyn said suddenly. “I love you more than anything in the world. You were so amazing, and now we have a daughter. God, no one could ever be happier than I am right now.”
“I might give you a run for your money,” Ali said, laughing, brushing at the corner of her eye. “I love you too, Ashlyn, so much. So much. So are you going to hold our daughter?”
Ashlyn wanted to more than anything. That is, until the moment Ali placed Emma in her arms, and then Ashlyn froze. She was responsible for this tiny seven pound, seven ounce human, and she was convinced if she so much as blinked, she would break her.
Emma stirred, her perfect little mouth making a sucking motion and her perfect little hand trying to escape from the blanket. And then she opened one perfect little eye, and Ashlyn was lost, for she was looking at Ali’s eyes, everything she’d read about babies born with blue eyes be damned.
And then Ashlyn burst into tears. Which wouldn’t have been that bad except for she startled Emma, who also began crying, and then for some reason Ali was crying, and the next thing Ashlyn knew, a nurse came skidding into the room.
“Is everything alright?”
Ali got herself under control enough to reassure the nurse that no one had dropped any babies while Ashlyn forced herself to calm down, rocking the baby slightly and making general soothing noises until the smallest Krieger-Harris, too, was quieted.
Ashlyn sniffled, blinking away one last tear. “Well, hey there, little nugget.”