Chapter Text
She snuck down the hallway, keeping her footsteps quiet as she made her way to her brother's room. From the bannister of the stairs, a curious pair of yellow eyes stared at the peculiar young girl who was creeping down the hallway in her nighty, white blonde hair gathered up on her head into a rather impressively messy formation. The owl lets out a pleased hoot of greeting. She turns her head to look at him, lifting a finger to her lips and squinting her eyes before letting her feet carry her forward once again.
This had been her routine ever since the dreams had started, not all of them were bad, amongst the blood and the gammy flesh and the now familiar eyes swimming in pain and grief, amongst these horror scenes was the rare precious laughter of a boy she had never met and yet knew all the same, the smell of the air when it snows, a warm hand in hers, eyes; beautiful green eyes that she had seen so many times now that she can read each complex emotion they hold like a book. Maybe these things should bring her comfort, sometimes they do, but with each of these flashes of happiness comes the same uneasy feeling. Everything is in the balance, no fate is sealed, this is something she both relies on and dreads.
Her feet came to a stop outside her brother's bedroom door.
She brought her knuckles up to knock on the door, careful to make it just loud enough for Evan to hear.
“Panda?” Evan’s hushed voice called out to her through the door. She inched the door open slowly to find her brother standing right on the other side, his eyes immediately searching hers for something she wasn't sure she had to give. “Another bad dream?”
Pandora hummed quietly, her eyes fixed on the wall behind him “Not really”
the smell of flowers, a forehead pressed to her own
Evan squinted at her for an uncomfortably long amount of time, which made Pandora start to feel as though her skin was going to crawl off of her body and run away, jumping through the window to start a new life without her on the streets of Dublin… or something like that anyway, the point is she felt uncomfortable. He eventually seemed to give up with a huff and a roll of his eyes. “Ok just get in here already, if dad sees you up he’ll have you sorting his bloody study in the morning. I’m going back to bed, I suggest you do the same.” He started walking back towards his bed before noticing how quiet it was and turning around to see his sister looking up at him with sad, scared eyes. “Merlin Panda I wasn't banishing you just stick a pillow in the middle of the bed and you can sleep here, you dare roll over onto my side during the night though and you're doing my chores for the rest of the week”
A small smile appeared on her face, her shoulders dropping. For the first time that night, she made eye contact with her brother. “Deal” she said.
They held eye contact for a few seconds, each of them taking in the unique traits they share, only making them feel more connected; the shaking of their eyes, the pale colour of their irises, the striking white eyelashes. Since birth they had been different, but always different together, part of Pandora wishes these ‘dreams’ were something they shared as well but this difference is hers and hers alone. She saw no point in forcing him to understand so instead she would accept the comfort he offers, and deal with fate herself.
“You know your room is a mess”
“Excuse me?!” Evan made an affronted noise and fixed her with an incredulous expression. “ Panda your bedroom floor is quite literally buried in shit”
“It’s not buried in shit” she pouted “That's my research, its there on purpose, your room, however, is filled with junk you don't even like”
“ yeah well I didn't exactly buy the fucking dolls did I Pandora? Why would I make space for shit I never wanted in the first place”
“So get rid of them”
Evan just sighed “Just get into bed Pandora it's late.” Pandora hummed and made her way over to the other side of his bed, easing her way under the covers and staring and the ceiling above her through the darkness. The twins’ breathing was now the only thing breaking the silence and Pandora tried to match her breathing to her brothers in an attempt to get her brain to settle. At first, it did nothing, her thoughts kept racing with memories of what was yet to happen but as time crept on her breaths became more shallow and her eyelids began to droop. Just as she was falling asleep her ears picked up a small voice.
“They’re all he’s ever given me Panda, I can't just throw them away”
Her sleepy brain took a second to understand what he was talking about but she soon realised it was the dolls he was referring to.
Cillian Rosier was a complicated man, he was cruel, controlling and inconsiderate, but had he always been a bad father? No. It was their father who had sang them to sleep at night and who had taken them camping to learn resilience only to end up telling silly stories by the bonfire all night. It was their father who had gifted them dolls and dresses when they were younger. But she knew for Evan this was bittersweet. She had never understood her father’s reaction towards the whole thing if she was being honest, he'd always wanted a son anyway so what was the issue exactly? Some silly matter of pride and politics apparently. If you ask her such things are quite redundant when up against the happiness and safety of your child. But as she had grown up she’d realised more and more that humans seldom thought in such straightforward ways. Her father was determined to dismiss Evan, the same child he had raised with such love, completely. And that was that.
She knew there was nothing she could say to make things better so instead, she reached across the pillow separating them and silently took his hand. And just like that they fell asleep, holding each other together as best they could.