Chapter Text
Feng Xin didn’t often go to the mall, and rarely by himself. But next Saturday was exactly one week from today, and that day just so happened to be his best friend’s birthday. Even though that day had been on Feng Xin’s calendar for months, twelve months to be exact, he still hadn’t found a gift fit to give Xie Lian. Feng Xin had traveled from store to store, clothing boutique to chocolatier, from haughty jewelry stores to a shop named ‘ THE Antique Shoppe’ . But still struggled to find anything Xie Lian might like, god why was this so hard?!
It wasn’t like Xie Lian would complain, no matter what Feng Xin got him he would be eternally grateful. But that didn’t alleviate Feng Xin’s stress any amount. Xie Lian’s family had always been kind to Feng Xin, and Xie Lian’s home was a second home during his childhood. Home life was never bad in Feng Xin’s household, but it wasn’t easy. Two working parents who struggled to keep a roof over their heads, let alone raise a child had always tried their best. But some things still slipped through, missing performances at school, being late for pick-up, and forgetting to send him off with lunch money. None of it was intentional, but it happened nonetheless.
But that all changed when Feng Xin met Xie Lian in 5th grade. Xie Lian’s father was an immensely wealthy businessman, and his mother was a saint on Earth. As the two kids became even closer to each other with age, Xie Lian’s parents became Feng Xin’s auntie and uncle. They would cheer him on at events his parents couldn't make, they would take him home if Feng Xin’s parents had to work late, and they always helped Feng Xin’s family out of only the kindness in their hearts.
The two families were very close, and while Feng Xin's parents were always happy to let Feng Xin receive help from Xie Lian’s family, they themselves never asked for anything. More often than not trying to refuse money when it was offered for anything. School tuition, uniforms, books, or even when Xie Lian broke a window in their home. But Xie Lian’s mother was insistent, and it wasn’t in their blood to give up easily.
This is all to say, now that Feng Xin was slightly grown and could give back to the family who always helped him, how couldn’t he take it seriously? Even if it was just a birthday gift to their son, Feng Xin took this very seriously. So it made him even more annoyed that nothing he found was good enough!
Too tacky! Too cheap! Too- blegh .
‘Should I just get him a baked goods gift basket? He loves pastries… NO! Thats far too impersonal!’ This really was driving Feng Xin up a wall. He was on his last straw when he entered a small edgy store. It wasn’t exactly Xie Lian’s scene, but Feng Xin recognized a few of the character T-shirts in the window from shows Xie Lian watched.
Perusing through the aisles Feng Xin finally came across what would be the gift, a silly t-shirt of Xie Lian’s favourite character; Jun Wu from the TV show ‘ Divine Might’ . Feng Xin found it funny how whenever Xie Lian talked about Jun Wu his face would light up. That always made Xie Lian’s boyfriend Hua Cheng jealous; which Feng Xin found even funnier!
There was only one left but while Feng Xin was rushing over to grab it, black hair swooped in front of his face. Someone had stepped in front of him at the last minute and grabbed it off the rack.
FUCK!
Looking at this boy, the THIEF that had taken the shirt Feng Xin finally found as a present, he was fucking drop-dead gorgeous. He had the kind of look to make Feng Xin freak. That long-ass hair with the tightest jeans, My Chemical Romance on his tee. He was fucking pale, he looked so sick like he was dying. But if anyone said he wasn't hot, then they’d be lying.
It almost made Feng Xin forgive this beauty for nabbing the last shirt, almost but not quite. This was a shirt for Xie Lian after all, and now that Feng Xin had decided on that shirt he would not back down.
Heart fluttering, he went up and tapped on the man’s shoulder. The characteristic harsh and angry voice of Feng Xin was nowhere to be found as he spoke, “Excuse me, do you mind if I grab that?”
The man smirked a little, “I do mind, actually . I wanted to buy it afterall,”
‘God why did he look so hot with a fucking smirk’ “It’s just my friend's birthday is next week and I've been at this fucking mall for what feels like nine hours. That’s the first thing I’ve found good enough to give him, could you please?”
It was true Feng Xin felt like he had been at this mall for nine hours, but really it had just been about 3. Which is no small amount of time either, especially to be inside a mall, alone, on a beautiful summer day.
The man’s smirk grew a little, before eventually with a dramatic eye roll and a scoff powerful enough to blow down a straw house he extended the shirt out to Feng Xin. “Just make sure your friend has a good birthday, and wrap it nicely.”
“Thanks,” Feng Xin said with a smile as he took the tee and gleefully headed off to the register, that was today’s task complete! But it was only while he was in the middle of paying for the shirt that the man’s words registered in his mind. ‘... and wrap it nicely.’
Why did he say such a thing to a complete stranger, and why did it make Feng Xin blush slightly? He was so zoned out that the cashier had to tap his hand to bring him back to reality.
“Cash or card sir?”
God that man had been hot, and just something about him… “I’ll pay cash,”
After buying a small gift card to Xie Lian’s favourite burrito shop as well, Feng Xin made his way out of this goddamned mall. But as he walked something caught his eye, stopping both his heartbeat and his steps.
There was that man, that absolute beauty who had been all over Feng Xin's mind. He was sitting in the central food court drinking a cup of coffee looking at his phone. God, he looked so hot even just sitting. His ‘long ass hair’ was falling slightly in front of his face while he looked down making him even cuter.
And just as soon as Feng Xin’s heartbeat had stopped, it began rapidly beating out of his chest, why was that man so alluring? Feng Xin wanted to go up and talk to him, say hi, say thank you, just anything to get him close to that man again.
But could he say hi? What would the other think, would he seem awkward, desperate? Desperate for what? Did Feng Xin really want this man like that? He had just seen him once in a store, but his heart reacted so severely. He had never had this reaction before, to a man or woman.
He stood there, for a good few moments, heart beating out his chest while he gazed at the other. That man just had something, some quality, some feature, that made him so desirable. So cute, so handsome.
God Feng Xin was pathetic, this is what happens when you’re a senior in high school and still haven’t had a long-term relationship. Feng Xin wasn’t a loner, but just wasn’t a social butterfly; only having one girlfriend in his life so far. But they never really liked each other that much, both just didn’t know any better than to stay in the relationship. Feng Xin ended up being with that girl, Jian Lian, for eight months. It was around the same time he realised he might not be into women, or at least not only into women, that their relationship ended.
Since their relationship ended, since that realization, Feng Xin hadn’t put himself out there at all. He never pursued that other half of himself, never pursued the first half anymore either. After that day he just never had the motivation, no one had appealed to him. But he always envied those who did have relationships, he envied Xie Lian and his boyfriend most of all. They were so happy, carefree, oblivious, or rather indifferent to the judgment of others. Too caught up in their own love to bother with anyone else's opinion.
Maybe Feng Xin could have that, maybe he deserved that. But maybes can only become truths if you make them so. A stranger can only become someone close to you if you reach out. A man guy from the mall can only become yours if you ask them to be.
Deep breaths in,
-and out.
He could do this. He wanted to do this.
Feng Xin shook himself out of the trance and walked with a force sense of calm to the alluring man sitting so damn cutely sipping his drink.
As he approached Feng Xin reached into his pocket and thumbed over the burrito store gift card, ‘I can buy a new one for Xie Lian later,’
Feng Xin was now standing directly in front of the man, but he had yet to look up from his phone.
“Excuse me,” Feng Xin muttered with a slight cough. He was never awkward, he was never a mumbler… What had this man done to him?!
The man didn’t look up, “Yeah?”
“I just wanted to thank you for um- letting me take that uh- shirt.” Feng Xin really couldn’t handle himself around this man. God, where was his characteristic gusto, where was his typical macho aura?
Looking up at Feng Xin this man looked even sweeter, bangs messily covering his face as slightly wide eyes locked onto Feng Xin’s own, “Oh, it’s you”. A small smirk spread across his face as his eyes sharpened, “What, here to steal my coffee too?”
Feng Xin's face flushed a little, was he blushing because he was taken aback? Or just because this man was talking to him? “No- no- no! I just wanted to thank you- for letting me have it and all,”
“Oh,” The man looked genuinely surprised by Feng Xin’s reply, “No problem, it seemed to matter way more to you than it would to me,” a soft smile replaced his smirk as he neatened the hair on his forehead.
“Well, thank you,” Feng Xin turned his face away from the other, pausing a little as he tried to hide his pathetically apparent blush. He didn’t have a mirror but based on how hot his face felt Feng Xin was sure he was red as a fucking beetroot.
“Was that all?” the man asked looking up at Feng Xin, his face seemed expectant,
“No!” Feng Xin exclaimed a little too loudly as he fumbled to pull the gift card from his pocket, “Here, take this- for letting me have the shirt,” ‘For looking so fucking good’
“Oh,” He replied taking the card, looking slightly disappointed as he accepted the gift. “I only let you have a shirt you didn’t have to give me this,”
‘I KNOW’ Feng Xin’s internal monologue was at full blast, ‘the gift is because I find you fucking HOT not because of a fucking tee shirt!’
“Oh, it’s nothing,” was all that Feng Xin said when he wanted to say so much more. He wanted to continue their conversation, to sit down next to the other and sip on a coffee of his own. But he didn’t, he couldn’t, for some reason, it sounded far too daunting to Feng Xin. So awkwardly as a young boy who walked into the girl's bathroom, Feng Xin made a botched attempt at goodbye. “Well thank you anyways, but I won’t keep you, and I should get going- It was nice meeting you, I mean it was only for a few minutes but you know what I mean- enjoy your coffee, and um- have a nice day,”
‘WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT YOU FUCKING IDIOT?’
Feng Xin turned and walked away hurriedly, as painful as it was to leave that man, to end their story; it was even more painful to ruin himself in that man's eyes.
But before he could make it even a step he felt an arm reach out and grab the back of his shirt. “Wait!” a voice called out, and then Feng Xin heard the rustling of ice as a cup hit the floor.
Turning on his heel, Feng Xin saw that the man had leaned way forward out across the table just to grab the shirt of a stranger. Feng Xin’s blush was revitalized as he quickly leaned down and picked up the man’s drink. It hadn’t spilt too much, a testament to the strength of the cup’s mass-produced plastic lid.
Feng Xin stood back up and handed the man his cup, saying nothing while he did so,
“Thanks um-” The man said setting the cup back down on the table, not directly between the two this time.
“Yeah, of course” ‘Get it the fuck together Feng Xin you pathetic FUCK!’
There was a moment of painful silence between the two. Only glances were exchanged between the two idiots. One looked away as soon as the other looked at him. Finally, Feng Xin spoke, breaking the silence before it broke him.
“So- What did you want me to wait for?” God, why was such a simple question so difficult to ask?
“I just wanted to ask-” mumble mumble mumble
“What did you say?” Feng Xin’s heart raced a little,
“I just wanted to ask, if you- wanted me to follow you on Instagram?”
‘That's some weird phrasing…’ “You- want my instagram?” Feng Xin asked, heart now beating faster than a train.
“No, that's not what I said,” The man said, blushing slightly, “I asked if you wanted me to follow you… Completely different,” He forced a scoff, his attempt at saving face, at looking cool in front of the man he fancied. Did this man– like Feng Xin? Well, finding him attractive at a passing glance is a better way to put it; you have to know someone to like them, and these two had only seen each other, never really spoken.
‘He looks so cute like that, I’m not sure he was going for cute though,’ “Yeah, I’d like that.” Feng Xin beamed as he fumbled in his phone to open Instagram. It wasn’t an app he used often, he had never even posted on it. He pulled up his profile and showed it to the man who dutifully typed out Feng Xin’s tag, and then followed him.
“There you go, you’re welcome,” He turned his chin up again as he said that, hair falling to the side of his head while he did. God the smallest of movements this man made had such a grand effect on Feng Xin.
Feng Xin smiled as he opened his notifications to see who followed him, “Thanks Mu dot Qing five two zero,” ‘His profile picture is a cherry tree, cute; but not as cute as him,’
The man- Mu Qing blushed as he turned his head down to the table, hair covering his face again. “You’re welcome, Feng Xin eighty-eight,”
They both stayed like that for a moment, Feng Xin staring down at the top of Mu Qing’s head, while the other bore holes into the food court table. It was nice for Feng Xin, awkward as it may have been, it was still nice.
Sadly the day must go on, and Feng Xin had work to go to. He wanted nothing more than to just stay here with Mu Qing, to sit next to him and just be with that man. But that couldn’t happen, not today at least.
He gingerly placed a hand on Mu Qing’s shoulder and instantly felt the other tense at his touch. “I gotta go, I have work, but um, I’ll see you sometime?”
Mu Qing’s posture stayed tense as he replied, “Yeah, I’ll see you”. He looked up at Feng Xin, the smallest of smiles forming on his face, “And hey, message me when you get to work,”
“Sure,” Feng Xin smiled as he walked away, he could feel his heartbeat through every vein in his body. Holy lord in heaven, divine as you are, please don’t let us end.
-- ≾❃≿ --
“You did what now?” Xie Lian asked voice raised to be heard over the steamer,
“Stop yelling,” Feng Xin sighed as he continued to take a customer's order, “I’m sorry, you said grape fruit slush, and what sweetness was with that? Fifty percent? Okay, that will be-”
Xie Lian finished steaming the milk and walked over to Feng Xin, “Tell me what you did!?”
This elicited an even bigger sigh from Feng Xin, “Let me finish taking these order at least. And hey! You should be making drinks right now, we are already behind enough, we don't have time for you to dawdle.”
“Yeah yeah,” Xie Lian said as he walked back to finish making someone's coffee, “Just know I won't stop asking,”
“I’m well aware,” Feng Xin mumbled before feeling something soft his the back of him.
Xie Lian had tossed a rag at him, “If you’re going to whisper about me, do it properly! I could hear you clear as day!!”
“Yeah yeah-” Feng Xin lazily replied as he continued to take orders. The two friends worked at a local boba cafe during the summer, Feng Xin worked all year round but Xie Lian only came in during the summer. Xie Lian didn’t need to make money like Feng Xin did to have some spending allowance, but he still worked for fun. But for Xie Lian, this job meant more time spent with his best friend, and he was gaining valuable work experience.
They worked in relative silence for quite a while, dealing with the never-ending orders from people escaping the heat for an iced beverage. Feng Xin usually liked chatting with Xie Lian whenever they shared a shift, but today he was not very anxious to talk with the other. It didn’t make sense really, Xie Lian was his friend, and he would be happy for Feng Xin of course, but still, the prospect scared him. It was natural for Feng Xin to be scared about showing himself to Xie Lian; the others had done nothing but accept Feng Xin throughout their lives, but it was still a cycle Feng Xin found himself hopelessly trapped in.
Soon Feng Xin’s mindless going through the motions of being a coffee shop attendant was interrupted as the characteristic ding of Instagram sounded from his phone. Feng Xin perked up slightly and rushed to finish the drink in his hands. After quickly placing it down and calling out “Ashleigh! Taro tea for Ashleigh!” he grabbed his phone from the counter and looked towards Xie Lian, “I’m going to take my break now,”
Not even waiting for a response Feng Xin rushed into the back of the store as he hastily opened Instagram, just as he expected, Mu.Qing520 had sent him a DM;
Mu.Qing520: You never messaged me, did you make it to work?
FengXin88: Shit my bad… I ended up getting here :)
Mu.Qing520: 🙄I guess I'll forgive you…
Mu.Qing520: So… where do you work?
FengXin88: I work at a bubble tea shop, ‘Bubble Woods’. Have you ever been there?
Mu.Qing520: Yeah last summer, I had a friend who used to work there, but I’m not sure if they still do.
FengXin88: It’s a cute store, if you stop by I’ll give you my discount :)
Mu.Qing520: Then I guess I’ll have to one of these days.
Mu.Qing520: Wait, shouldn’t you be working? Am I distracting you?
FengXin88: I’m on break, so it's okay for you to distract me :)
Mu.Qing520: 😤 Don't use me as an excuse to slack off at work!
FengXin88: Hey! I’m on my break, I have eight minutes left, I’m not ‘slacking off’!
Mu.Qing520: 🙄
Mu.Qing520: 🤭
FengXin88: So what are you up to today?
Mu.Qing520: Nothing much besides the mall, so I’m just lazing around at home. Might walk to the corner store later
FengXin88: That sounds nice, being able to relax during the summer
Mu.Qing520: Do you never get the chance? All work and no play something something- I fell asleep during that movie.
FengXin88: lol
FengXin88: I get the chance, just not too often.
FengXin88: What are you going to get from the corner store?
Mu.Qing520: Nothing much, a diet soda and some cherry gummies probably.
FengXin88: 😋
Mu.Qing520: 🙄
Mu.Qing520: Do you have any favorite snacks?
FengXin88: …
Mu.Qing520: What is it?
FengXin88: …
Mu.Qing520: 😤
FengXin88: Veggie straws…
Mu.Qing520: are you serious?
FengXin88: yeah
Mu.Qing520: LMAO
FengXin88:They are good! And healthy!! Two for one deal!
Feng Xin could’ve continued to text Mu Qing all day, but sadly his ten-minute breaks never felt long enough, and soon Xie Lian could be heard calling his coworker's name, "Feng Xin help!! I'm swamped!"
FengXin88: Shit, coworkers calling me, gtg
Mu.Qing520: okay,
FengXin88: Bye, talk to you tonight?
Mu.Qing520: yeah
As Feng Xin left the back and finally came to help alleviate the busy lines Xie Lian was facing, the other still found time to notice the little things, “Whats got a smile on your face? You never smile, you just smirk”,
“I smile sometimes,”
“No you don't,” Said Xie Lian, “Wait- does this relate to that story you won't tell me?”
Feng Xin paused, his instinct was to lie and say he hadn’t been smiling, but why would he lie to Xie Lian? Why would he lie about this? What had just happened was a happy thing was it not? Why did Feng Xin feel the instinct to hide the joy he felt from his best friend?
“Yeah… It does”,
Xie Lian’s head turned on a swivel from scooping tapioca pearls to looking dead straight into Feng Xin’s eyes, “Now I definelty want to know!”
“Well it got busy again, I’ll tell you later-” Feng Xin looked away from Xie Lian as he started working again, but Feng Xin didn’t turn to hide from Xie Lian, but rather to hide the blush on his face. He had just met Mu Qing, he had only texted with him for ten minutes, but something between them just felt right. It felt like their relationship had been stamped with heaven’s official blessing, Feng Xin felt like Mu Qing was his blessing.
So the two worked in silence for another few hours, Xie Lian never pestering Feng Xin on the topic again. But neither forgot, both just lay in wait until their shift was over. Feng Xin’s initial dread about telling the story of his day had all but disappeared, replaced by excitement. He could find someone to confide in, someone to share this joy with. This was a happy thing, and he wouldn’t let himself be scared of it. No matter how natural fear felt, Feng Xin wouldn’t succumb.
So as their shift drew to a close, and they began closing up the cafe Xie Lian finally asked the question again, “So what happened this morning?”
The two were sweeping up the shop, closing shifts were always Feng Xin’s favorite as he would rather clean up than talk to customers. Feng Xin stopped sweeping for a second before continuing as he spoke, “I saw this boy at the mall this morning,”
“Oh?” Xie Lian replied, he sounded surprised, but at the same time overjoyed. Feng Xin hadn’t had any good experiences since Jian Lian, and it seems Xie Lian was eager for his friend to find joy.
“Yeah, well we met while I was shopping, and then we met again in the food court where he asked if I wanted him to follow me on Instagram which was just the cutest way to ask for someone's socials-” Feng Xin didn’t even notice as he began sweeping the same spot over and over while he recounted the events of this morning, “And then he was also just so sweet like he looked hot as hell, but fuck he was also cute? Do you know what I mean? It's like, Some people are just hot or cute, but he was both. And his hair, GOD his hair, it always just slightly hung over his face in these two adorable bangs, I mean fucking hell it looked perfect. Then when I went on break, it was because he messaged me asking if I got to work okay. After all, I was supposed to message him when I got here, which was so cute of him to ask of me, but I had forgotten to text because traffic getting here was shit. But him asking if I got here okay? Like he was just so fucking sweet. Then we texted for my whole break, I didn’t even do my normal break mini-workout! I was too busy texting him and he was just so sweet, and I asked if i could text him later tonight and he said yeah so…”
Feng Xin trailed off as he felt a pair of eyes staring directly into him, looking up from the spot on the floor he had now buffed to a reflective surface his eyes met Xie Lians. Red instantly flushed across his face, “Shut the fuck up-”
“I never said anything!” Xie Lian protested in a fake innocent voice,
Feng Xin’s eyes rolled more aggressively than a kid pushed down a hill, “You know what I meant, maybe I’m a little cringe right now, but you’ve had your happiness for a while, mine is just starting. I think I get some slack when it comes to moments like this,”
“No, I’m happy for you, don’t be embarrassed!” Xie Lian walked over and hugged Feng Xin who tensed up instantly. Xie Lian squeezed tight and wiggled his friend from side to side, “Eahhg!! I’m so excited for you!! Show me a picture when you get on! Oo oo! And when you have a date can I come watch from afar? I wont bother you or even bring Hua Cheng, he would definitely cause a scene…”
Feng Xin just sighed as he lightly hugged Xie Lian back, wishing it was a certain someone else instead, “No you can’t come... But I’ll show you a photo when I get one,”
“Ahh!! This is so exciting for you!! You have to tell Qingxuan when you have a date, he can help you get a better outfit, because you can barely dress yourself!”
“Just shut up and help me clean,” Feng Xin groaned with annoyance as he pushed Xie Lian off of him. But as he turned away he blushed a little more than he already had been, the idea of him and Mu Qing on a date… that was something to look forward to.