Work Text:
-- turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:12 --
TG: yo
TG: dude
TG: girl*
TG: fuck
EB: what
TG: have you heard about the beach that makes you old
EB: the what?
TG: the beach that makes you old
TG: you go on it and it makes you old
TG: like the longer you stay there the older you get
TG: its crazy
TG: have you heard about it
EB: no?
EB: what are you getting at?
TG: nothing
TG: like idk dude have you never heard about this
TG: its fucking crazy
TG: like you go there and then
TG: it just makes you old
TG: have you seriously never been to the beach that makes you old
TG: oh fuck
TG: girl*
EB: that's not a real thing!
EB: you are trying to pull some weird...
EB: thing. on me.
EB: is this even a real beach???
TG: yes wait let me send you a pic
-- turntechGodhead [TG] uploaded thebeachthatmakesyouold.png --
TG: fucking look at it
TG: its beauty
TG: its grace
TG: its the beach that turns you old
TG: right in front of your face
TG: damn that doesnt work huh
TG: cause its "right in front of your eyes"
TG: i guess your eyes are on your face so it doesnt really matter but like i feel like sticking to the saying is important yknow like you want the audience to understand you cant just change a saying all willy-nilly like that
EB: dave
TG: its bonkers dude i mean how are you supposed to ever do that people would never understand you
TG: youd say that shit and everyone would turn and start fucking pointing and laughing cause you just totally shit yourself in front of them but like
EB: dave!
TG: metaphorically
TG: linguistically yknow
TG: fuck
EB: DAVE!!!
TG: girl*
TG: oh yeah whats up homegirl
EB: you are talking total nonsense!
EB: utter buffoonery.
EB: and clownage.
EB: where the hell even is this beach???
TG: what the hell no im not telling you where the beach is
TG: you would get fucking old
TG: and then you would lose some of the precious few minutes we have together
TG: isnt *us* important at all
TG: jeez egbert its like you dont even care anymore huh
EB:
TG:
TG: anyways the beach is here
-- turntechGodhead [TG] uploaded thisiswherethefuckingbeachis.png --
EB: okay, be right back.
TG: dont say i didnt warn you
-- ectoBiologist [EB] stopped pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TT: So you told her where the beach was?
TT: After all that?
TT: Some best friend you are.
TG: i mean how could i not she was practically begging
TG: on her knees hands clasped praying at the church of motherfucking strider
TT:
TG: actually no that sounds weird
TG: but like you get the idea
TT: :?
TG: shut up
TT: I didn't say anything.
TG: fuck you we're done here
TG: not actually i want to keep talking in a sec but shes pestering me
TG: please hold missus lalonde
TG: strider industries is currently experiencing a high volume of calls
TG: enjoy some sick beats while you wait for one of our trained professionals to come assist you
TT: Dave.
TG: yeah
TT: I'm sure that roleplaying an overworked secretary at a call center must be deeply and utterly enthralling to someone like you.
TT: But you need to respond to your friend.
TG: oh yeah oops
TT: Dumbass.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
-- ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:53 --
EB: hey.
TG: hey
EB:
EB: it made me old.
TG: fucking dumbass