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It was just a crush. Eijirou thought this over and over as he sat across from Bakugou in the dorm common room. They were supposed to be doing their math homework, but every time that Bakugou spoke Eijirou couldn’t focus. His mind started with algebra, and then he saw Bakugou’s eyes and noticed how red they were. A different red than Eijirou’s eyes. A deeper crimson, like a pool of blood. It was unfair that he had to look at those eyes while they were studying. Besides, Bakugou was an asshole. The fact that he was helping Eijirou with his homework was unbelievable to Eijirou, but then they met up, and Eijirou had been hit in the head with paper at least ten times. He wasn’t sure what he expected since the behavior was incredibly in character for the man who called Eijirou ‘hair for brains’ half the time. It made him wonder if Bakugou even knew his name.
They made it through the whole first unit before Katsuki stood up. “I’m going to the vending machine. I’m not going to teach your dumb ass on an empty stomach.” Eijirou looked at him for a second, completely unsure of what to do. “Don’t just sit there, shitty hair.”
This only made him more confused. “Are you telling me to come with you?”
“Holy shit, you’re really an idiot. Yes. You can come with.” Bakugou started to walk away before Eijirou could even stand up.
He scrambled up to his feet and caught up with Bakugou as fast as he could. It was quiet in the dorms aside from their footsteps. Eijirou felt a desperate itch to fill the silence. “Uh, thanks for helping me with the math. I know I’m not that good at it an–”
“Shut up, you’re fine. Better than fucking dunce face. At least you listen to me sometimes.” Bakugou walked up to the vending machine, giving enough space for Eijirou to stand behind him and look at the items on display. He could see Bakugou’s face in the reflection. The almost blue light from the machine was lighting up Bakugou’s features. Eijirou couldn’t stop himself from staring at the man in front of him. It was like he was possessed. Every time he tried to pull his eyes away, he was brought back by some small movement or a micro expression that seemed to change the whole world around Bakugou. He’d never met someone with such an influence over the way that Eijirou saw the world.
He’d seen plenty of attractive people before. He’d had a lot of crushes throughout middle school, and they never lasted that long. At some point, they would say something off-putting, or they would get a bad haircut, and he could forget about them. But Bakugou had called him a dumb-ass and told him to fuck off and die multiple times, and there he was, staring at the man’s reflection in a vending machine. As he stared at Bakugou’s face, he really hoped that this crush wouldn’t last long either.
Bakugou pulled a bag of spicy chips out of the machine and turned toward Eijirou. He made a face that Eijirou couldn’t decode. “The fuck are you looking at?”
Eijirou thought that his heart stopped. “Nothing! Uh, just looking at the chips, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get something!”
Katsuki turned his eyes back to where Eijirou was staring. He pointed at the glass and gave Eijirou a look. “The kids’ fruit snacks?”
Eijirou wished that he was dead. “Uh, yeah! I liked them when I was a kid. Maybe it’s a nostalgia thing.”
Katsuki looked back at the fruit snacks, then at the chips in his hand like they could give him some kind of answer. Before Eijirou could try to figure him out he rolled his eyes and looked back up at Eijirou. Making eye contact with Bakugou felt like the steep slope of a roller coaster. Somehow electrifying and entirely terrifying. It’s just a crush. It’s just a crush. It’s just a crush. Eijirou repeated in his head to try to get that feeling to go away. Bakugou probably didn’t even like guys.
“It’s fucking cold out, I’m going back inside.” Eijirou stood frozen and watched Katsuki walk away.
-
Katsuki didn’t hate tutoring Kirishma. Admitting this was difficult, but after a month, he couldn’t ignore that fact. Even though Kirishima was an idiot, he made sure that he paid attention when Katsuki talked, never taking his eyes away from Katsuki’s. He also did any assignment that Katsuki told him to do and rarely complained like he actually liked listening to Katsuki’s voice. It also became sort of a habit to go to the vending machine. He got the same chips that he’d eaten since he was a kid, and Kirishima got those stupid fruit snacks. The next time they went, Katsuki couldn’t help but notice how fucking chatty Kirishima was.
“Y’know, Mina told me this week that she saw a wedding ring on a chain around Aizawa’s neck. Would you believe that he’s actually married? I mean, half the time we see him, he’s in a sleeping bag. He basically lives at the school.”
Katsuki pushed the buttons on the machine. “Wouldn’t be surprised if it was some poor asshole who worked here already.”
The awe of a new exciting idea radiated from Kirishima; something about it drew Katsuki’s eyes in. “Oh my god, you’re right. Who do you think it is? Maybe Midnight? Or Present Mic?”
Katsuki turned to Kirishima with a strange look on his face. Maybe Kirishima was better at gossiping that Katsuki thought. “You saying Aizawa’s gay?”
Kirishima paused for a long second. “Do you not like gay people?”
For the first time in his life, Katsuki laughed in front of Kirishima. Like an actual laugh that hurt his abs after a while. “No. I’m gay, dipshit.” He knew that shitty hair had some problems with observation, but in his opinion, it was kind of hard to miss. “You can’t tell?” When he came up for air, he saw Kirishima looking at him with what could only be described as soft eyes. “What?” Kirishima blinked, and the look was gone. “Do you not like gay people?”
Kirishima seemed to have a much more sober reaction to the question. He shook his head. “No…” He swallowed and stared into the vending machine. “Uh, I’m bi, so…”
“Oh.” Katsuki stared at Kirishima through the reflection of the vending machine. “Obviously, I don’t give a shit. That was the first time you came out?”
Kirishima nodded like he was still recovering. “What about you?”
Katsuki’s face scrunched up. “What about me?”
Kirishima shook his head lightly. “Yeah. Was that the first time y–”
“No.” Katsuki shoved his hands in his pockets. He looked away and frowned. “Deku knows.”
Kirishima turned back towards him, holding Katsuki’s chip and a bag of fruit snacks. “I thought you hated him.”
Katsuki turned to give him a cold stare and spoke with a biting tone. “I do. Doesn’t stop him from being a stupid nosy fuck.”
Kirishima brought the chips a little closer and gave him a disarming smile. “Well, thanks for telling me. It’s kind of nice not to be alone anymore.”
Katsuki took the bag and let his eyes flicker back to Eijirou’s eyes. They were a warm red color, like a summer sangria. For a split second, Katsuki wanted to get closer. As soon as he recognized the thought, he squashed it. “Yeah…” He took the bag and walked away.
-
Eijirou couldn’t sleep. It was the middle of the night at training camp, and the humid air kept getting stuck in his lungs like the air was trying to tell him that something was going to go wrong. After failing the exam, The classes he had to take were brutal, and it his brain finally gave up. He got up from his futon and started to walk down the hallways of the facility. He wasn’t exactly sure where he was going. He just knew that he had to be on his feet. He wandered around for a while before pacing up and down one hallway. On his fifth trip up and down, he passed the door that he’d walked by what felt like a million times, and a hand shot out and grabbed his arm.
Eijirou hardened on instinct and the hand let out a dozen explosions into his skin. The sight of warm orange bursts of light and the smell of burnt sugar made Eijirou relax. “Dude, don’t scare me like that.”
Bakugou walked out of the room with glare that could melt ice. “Stop pacing up and down the hallway like a fucking creep. It’s fucking two A.M. don’t you have better shit to do than walk around like an idiot all fucking night?”
Eijirou didn’t get enough sleep and couldn’t possibly think before he spoke again. “You swear a lot when you’re tired.”
He could have sworn that he watched Bakugou’s face twitch. “Fuck you, shitty hair. I’ll kill you in your sleep.”
Eijirou couldn't help but laugh at this. His eyes had finally adjusted to the dark and he realized what Bakugou was wearing: a criminally tight muscle tank and sleep shorts. For a second he felt just a little bit grateful that he couldn’t fall asleep because Bakugou looked impossibly good in what should’ve been a very normal outfit. He let his eyes linger for a second too long.
“Hey!” Bakugou snapped. “Eyes up here, fuck-face.”
Eijirou turned bright red and hoped to god that it was too dark for Bakugou to notice. “Oh– I wasn’t–”
“Holy shit, it was a joke. Comedy is fucking dead and you’re dancing on it’s grave.” Bakugou grabbed Eijirou by the forearm and started dragging him through the hallways. “You woke me up and now I’m hungry.” He dragged Eijirou with him until they stopped in front of a vending machine. It was different from the one on campus at UA. It had more sweets and some drinks at the bottom. Luckily they still had the spicy chips and fruit snacks. The fruit snacks were off-brand, but Eijirou was sure he would survive.
As soon as the fruit snacks were in Eijirou’s hand Bakugou made a joke. “Sugar at two in the morning? Do you want to be bouncing off the walls for the rest of the night?”
“You’re eating spicy chips, you have no right to judge me. We’re both eating vending machine food at two. That means you can’t judge.”
Bakugou started to walk away. Eijirou took a moment to realize that Bakugou wanted him to follow. “I can judge you. You failed your exams.”
Eijirou caught up with him and gave him a light nudge with his elbow. “That’s not fair! We almost passed!”
Bakugou gave him a judgmental up and down look. “No the fuck you didn’t.”
Eijirou just smiled back at him. “I passed the math part of the exam.”
He knew this would get the only truly positive reaction that he could get out of Bakugou. “You’re welcome.” Even though it was dark, Eijirou swore he saw a small smile on Bakugou's face.
It was a nice smile. Eijirou couldn’t help but wonder what it looked like when Bakugou looked truly happy. The idea made the butterflies in his stomach go wild. They walked outside to sit on the grass against a stone wall. Eijirou let his eyes drift up toward the sky. Bright stars were scattered across the black. “The stars are nice out here. Better than UA.”
Bakugou ripped open his bag of chips and grumbled. “Fucking light pollution.”
-
Katsuki didn’t want to be alone. Admitting that took nearly an hour of him sitting on the floor of his dorm room with shaking hands and the after effects of being kicked in the face. He had wounds in places he couldn’t reach and he wasn’t going to let those heal wrong and fuck up his whole career. He clenched his fists and opened his hands in a repetitive pattern until he couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up, left his dorm, walked ten feet to the left and banged on Kirishima’s door with the side of his fist. There was a deafening silence for nearly thirty seconds. Long enough for Katsuki to deeply regret his decision to knock in the first place. Before he could walk away, the door swung open. Kirishima stood there without a shirt on, looking like he’d woken up from a deep sleep. His eyes adjusted to the bright lights of the hallway. When he finally saw Katsuki, his whole body straightened up, and his eyes widened with what Katsuki instantly saw as pity.
Katsuki clenched his teeth. “Fucking, nevermind.” He took one step away. He didn’t get very far before Kirishima was standing in front of him. “Move.”
“No, dude. You look messed up.” He surveyed Katsuki for a minute before putting his hands on the only uninjured part of Katsuki’s body, his right shoulder. Then he pushed Katsuki into his room. “Sit down. I’ll grab the first-aid kit.”
“Fuck you.” Katsuki bit out the words, his voice rough from the yelling he’d done earlier in the night. “Don’t fucking tell me what to do.”
Kirishima didn’t respond. He was too busy digging through his closet. He returned with a first-aid kit that seemed like it had never been used. He sat down in front of Katsuki and opened the box. “What happened?”
Katsuki looked away. “Don’t ask. I’m not fucking talking about it.”
Kirishima hummed and took out a suture kit and rubbing alcohol. “Why didn’t you go to Recovery-Girl?”
Katsuki stuck out his arm and let Kirishima press an alcohol-soaked rag into the cuts on his skin. As soon as it seeped into the wound he hissed. “Aizawa told us not to.”
Kirishima looked up and took the rag away. “Us?”
A second after the word was said Katsuki was sending Kirishima a sharp glare. “I said no questions, Shitty-Hair.” Kirishima shut his mouth and took out a suture needle. “You better have steady hands.”
Kirishima took Katsuki’s arm and looked him in the eye. “Don’t worry. I’ve got your back.”
After he heard those words, Katsuki should have taken his arm back and pushed Kirishima away. But he didn’t. He let Kirishima stick the needle into his arm and haphazardly sew his skin back together. Katsuki couldn’t help but watch Kirishima’s face. He looked focused. His lip was between his teeth and his eyes didn’t drift from the needle in between his fingers. Even though it was the middle of the night and Kirishima had no shirt on and ungelled hair, Katsuki couldn’t pull his eyes away from the man. He was so drawn in that he didn’t realize that Kirishima had finished.
Kirishima looked up at him with a strangely forgiving expression. “You wanna get a snack?”
Katsuki looked at the cut on his arm, then back at Kirishima. “I’m fucking starving.”
He stood up and expected Kirishima to follow him out. They took the elevator down to the common rooms and walked straight to the vending machine. As he stared into the glowing box and wondered how much money he’d spend on this machine. He wondered how many times he’d stood in this exact spot with Kirishima. He looked at the man through the reflection and stuck his tongue between his teeth to keep himself from spilling any of his closely held secrets. Kirishima’s willingness to respect Katsuki’s boundaries made him want to tear them down. He fucking hated it.
He took the chips out of the machine and whipped around to look Kirishima in the eye. “It was Deku.” He said the name with all of the venom he had left. “We fought at Ground Beta. All Might caught us.” Kirishima just stared at him with wide eyes and a small frown on his face. “I won.” That was the comment that turned Kirishima’s shock into worry. Katsuki didn’t have the energy to decode that reaction. He let Kirishima pass by him and buy fruit snacks.
While his back was turned, Katsuki let himself stare at Kirishima. Specifically the part of him that wasn’t wearing a shirt. He knew he was gay but he felt himself teetering on a dangerous crush. Would Kirishima help him if he knew that Katsuki was looking at him with hungry eyes?
Kirishima turned around with an open pack of fruit snacks in his hand. He extended the pack towards Katsuki. “You want one?”
Katsuki looked into the package. “Fine. I’m taking an orange one.”
Kirishima smiled at him, pointy teeth and all. “Good. I don’t like those anyway.”
He took the fruit snack and popped it into his mouth without taking his eyes away from Kirishima as if looking away from a view like that was a crime in and of itself. He shook his head to get those thoughts out of his head. It’s just a crush.
-
Eijirou finished his work study and decided that he would be a hermit for the rest of his life. Or maybe just one week before he missed his friends. The first few days he spent most of his time eating microwavable food and watching bad television. But after a while, he had to start cooking in the communal kitchen. He’d taken out a box of mac and cheese, turned to turn the stove on, and turned back to see that the box was gone. He looked up and saw Bakugou holding the box of mac and cheese and reading the label.
“This shit is so bad for you.” Bakugou put the box down and took Kirishima’s spot at the stove. Pasta boiled in the silent kitchen for a couple minutes as Eijirou tried to find something to say. Bakugou beat him to it. “Where the hell have you been?”
A couple hesitant steps brought Eijirou closer to Bakugou. “In my room.”
The man at the stove grumbled. “You didn’t show up for tutoring. Could’ve at least texted me.” The cheese packet was torn by Bakugou's teeth and poured into the pot.
Eijirou couldn’t believe that those words came out of Bakugou’s mouth. He tried his best to stammer out an apology. “Oh– I’m, uh, I’m sorry.”
“Ew, don’t apologize. Just don’t leave me hanging next time.” Bakugou spun around and handed him a bowl of mac and cheese. Eijirou looked back at the pot as if he couldn’t believe that Bakugou had made the mac and cheese so quickly. “Take the damn food, Shitty-Hair.”
Eijirou took the bowl, grabbed a spoon, and took a bite. It tasted heavenly. Eijirou almost didn’t believe that it came from the box. “Woah… What did you do to it? This tastes amazing.”
Bakugou raised an eyebrow, crossed his arms, and leaned against the counter. “I read the damn instructions on the box. You should try it sometime.”
Eijirou looked at the mac and cheese. “Maybe I should…” Maybe he’d been reading it wrong for years. Or Bakugou was just good at everything.
“So, is this whole fucking isolation bullshit because of your work study? Or are you being a stupid, moody teenager?” When Eijirou didn’t have an immediate answer Bakugou rolled his eyes.
“You can’t say that. You’re moodier than I am.” The words stumbled out of Eijirou's mouth and he wondered if he’d overstepped.
“Fuck you.” Was the only response he got. An uncontested victory. “So it’s the work study.”
Eijirou took a short breath in. “Yeah.” And let out a sigh.
“Did Fatgum traumatize you or something?”
This made Eijirou laugh. It was the first time he really laughed since he’d gotten back. It felt good. It always felt good to be around Bakugou. “No.” A thought sobered the small spark of laughter he’d had. “But I could’ve been better. I could’ve done a lot of things better.”
“Oh shut up,” Bakugou said with his usual amount of venom.
Eijirou’s eyes darted up to meet Katsuki’s in a millisecond. “What?”
Bakugou took a step forward. “You were on the field. You fought real villains. It’s not like being in class. Facing a fucking villain like that and walking away is the victory. It’s not your job to be in a million places at once. What happened to Nighteye isn’t your fault.”
Eijirou looked up and realized that he had tears in his eyes. “It is. I should’ve been a better hero. He shouldn’t have had to die.”
“He wasn’t even your mentor. There’s no version of this where he could possibly be your responsibility.” Bakugou looked away and clenched his fists. “You should talk to Aizawa. He’s better at this shit than I am. And he knew what to do with my fucked up brain. He can definitely handle your dumb ass.”
Had Bakugou just opened up to him? Did he hear Bakugou tell him something that could be seen as a weakness? The clouds parted and a light shined down from the heavens onto Bakugou for a short moment. That was super manly. “Oh. Yeah, I should.” He looked a bit closer and realized that he’d finally earned Bakugou’s trust and it was like walking into a warm building on a snowy day.
“Whatever happens with your brain, don’t skip out of studying again or you’ll fail your classes without me.” Bakugou took his hand out of his pocket, revealing a packet of fruit snacks. He pushed them into Eijirou’s chest. “Got them last night when you didn’t show up. Thought I would try them, but I don’t consume stupid amounts of sugar like you do.”
Eijirou took the fruit snacks and looked at the package. He smiled. He tore open the package and held it out toward Bakugou. “You want the orange ones?”
Bakugou took the pack. Eijirou celebrated the victory with an even wider smile. “Only because you have shitty taste.”
-
Katsuki sat up in his hospital bed and instantly felt the sting of the cuts across his body. He’d tried to avoid the hospital as much as he could but getting stabbed in three places in his torso made the visit entirely unavoidable. It made sense to Katsuki at first, but then the days started to pass and all he wanted to do was go back to school. The first Saturday after he arrived brought visitors from UA. A gaggle of idiots surrounded Katsuki’s hospital bed, all talking over each other.
“Ooo! Two people from general studies started dating recently–” Mina started.
Katsuki instantly cut her off. “The sad one and the one with the fucked up haircut?”
Mina’s eyes went impossibly wide. “Yes! And they’ve been making out all over the place. It’s genuinely disgusting. We need you back in the hallways because people are getting too comfortable without the threat of you blowing them up all the time.”
Katsuki made a face. “Ugh. You extras need to grow a pair and yell at people more. I can’t do it for you all the time.”
Kaminari grabbed the metal bars at the end of Katsuki’s bed. “No way dude! We’re not nearly as scary as you are.”
Something about this made Kirishima smile. Katsuki couldn’t help but let his eyes wander towards Kirishima, drinking in that smile for as long as he could. “He tried.” Kirishima pointed at Kaminari and gave him an almost pitiful look.
Kaminari looked instantly offended. “Don’t say it like that! I just wanted to walk in the hallways without being jumpscared by those two weirdos kissing!”
Kirishima laughed at this, bright and carefree. Katsuki wasn’t going to admit it, but the man had a nice laugh. Inevitably his eyes landed on Katsuki. He could feel Kirishima looking at him for a short moment before he spoke. “It’s not the same without you.”
For a split second Katsuki’s heart warmed at the words. Then he snuffed that flame. “Don’t get fucking soft on me, Shitty-Hair.”
Kirishima shrugged. “Sorry, Baku-bro. You almost died. I think this is the only time I get to be a softy.”
The comment made Katsuki roll his eyes. “You get stabbed a few times and suddenly everyone thinks you’re fucking dead. I’m fine, idiots.” He sat up straighter and crossed his arms.
Before anyone could protest a nurse popped her head into the room. “I’m sorry, but visiting hours are ending soon. You can have one person stay if you’d like, but everyone else is going to have to leave.”
“So, who are you picking?” Sero asked, unsubtly nodding towards Kirishima, who was completely oblivious to this.
Katsuki had no idea what that meant. He probably would’ve picked Shitty-Hair anyway, but that's none of tape face’s business. Kaminari got excited again and stole Katsuki’s attention. “We could hang out all night like a sleepover!”
Katsuki crossed Kaminari’s name off the list. Mina preferred to sleep at home, so it wasn’t going to be her. And apparently Sero wanted to leave so badly that he threw Kirishima to the wolves. The answer was obvious. “Shitty-Hair. You stay.”
Kirishima looked up with an expression of disbelief. “Oh! Uh, yeah!”
“Oh come on!” Kaminari said, throwing his hands up. “You always choose him.”
Sero gave an unsubtle thumbs up and started to drag Kaminari out of the room. “Thanks for letting us visit! I hope you have a good night!”
The three of them walked out, leaving Katsuki with the guy he couldn’t stop staring at. Kirishima grabbed a chair and pulled it closer to Katsuki’s bed. “Uh, thanks for picking me, I guess.”
Katsuki huffed. “It’s not a fucking compliment Shitty-Hair. You’re just the only one that doesn’t make me want to die when you talk.”
For some horrific reason this made Kirishima smile. “Dude, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Katsuki wanted to protest, but Kirishima was probably right. “Whatever.”
“Has Midoriya come by to visit?” Kirishima should’ve known better than to ask that question.
“Deku,” Katsuki said the name, but he couldn’t really taste the venom on his tongue anymore. “He’s come by a few times. Thinks that I tried to sacrifice myself for his sorry ass or something stupid like that.”
When he looked back at Kirishima it was like he was looking at him for the first time. Kirishima was looking at him with a completely vulnerable expression. Whatever mask he had on when all of their friends were there was gone. “But you did? Right?”
Katsuki swallowed and tried to rip his eyes away from Kirishima, but with an expression like that it was impossible. If Eijirou could be vulnerable just looking at Katsuki, maybe Katsuki could give him something deeper than surface level. “Didn’t mean to.” He wrung his hands together. “My body moved on its own.” Kirishima didn’t say anything at first. It pushed Katsuki to keep talking. “Maybe I’m subconsciously making up for the bullshit I did to him in middle school.”
This comment made Kirishima pull all of his focus towards Katsuki. “So you’ve known each other for a long time?”
“The nerd’s basically followed me around my whole fucking life.”
Kirishima looked a bit wary before he spoke again. “And middle school…” He paused for a second. “Sorry, you don’t have to tell me if that’s–”
“I was a piece of shit in middle school. I picked on him. Fuck I was a monster to him.” Katsuki had never said that out loud, even in his one on one sessions with Aizawa. They avoided the topic of Deku if they could. Katsuki had enough issues that they never ran out of things to talk about.
Kirishima stood up. Katsuki knew this would happen. He knew that once he told Kirishima he would leave him behind. But he didn’t move. He reached a hand out to Katsuki. “Come on. There’s a vending machine down the hall. You can tell me about it on the way?” Katsuki glared at the hand. Usually he would smack it away, but he actually couldn’t get up without it. He joined his hand with Kirishima’s and let the man pull him out of bed. “Why did you bully him?”
Katsuki wasn’t sure how honest he wanted to be. “Because he was better than me even though he was a quirkless nerd.” Kirishima made a face, but before he could talk Katsuki cut him off. As much as he hated Deku he wasn’t about to spill the whole One for All secret. “Got his quirk late. It manifested the day of the entrance exam. Lucky piece of shit.” They walked to the vending machine. Its light was the only thing illuminating the hallway it sat in. They didn’t have the chips that Katsuki liked because of course they didn’t. He got barbeque instead and grumbled about it as he pressed the button. He couldn’t help but notice that Kirishima let out a quiet laugh at this as he took Katsuki’s place and bought a pack of fruit snacks.
Kirishima stayed quiet and ate his fruit snacks as if he was giving Katsuki the opportunity to talk again. When he realized that Katsuki was done he spoke again. “I mean you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to ‘cause it would be super unmanly for me to push, but what did you do?” As he spoke he sat down on the floor.
Katsuki first was burned by the question. It seemed like it wasn’t any of Kirishima’s business on the surface, but when Katsuki thought about it, Kirishima had the right to know. He’d cemented himself as Katsuki’s closest friend despite Katsuki’s efforts to push him away. It would be shitty to let Kirishima keep thinking that he wasn’t a terrible person. “The shit you’d expect. I pushed him around.” He sat down next to Kirishima. Katsuki was consumed with memories of his actions. It made his stomach ache. He barely recognized that version of himself. “The worst was the day the sludge villain tried to kill me.” Katsuki held his hands out and clenched his hands into fists. “I tried to explode one of his notebooks and told him that if he wanted a quirk so bad he should take a swan dive off the room and get one in his next life.”
“Oh.” Was all Kirishima said. That single word dug at Katsuki’s stomach and he felt his guilt spilling out of him. But he wasn’t going to try and talk his way out of it. He couldn’t. Nothing he could say could take away the fact that he said that. “Did you really mean that?” Kirishima turned to look at him with an expression that could only be described as open. He was really willing to hear Katsuki’s side. He didn’t deserve that. He deserved to be left to sit on the linoleum floor alone.
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. I didn’t really want him dead, I just wanted him out of my life.” Katsuki shook his head. “I wanted to say something so fucked up that he wouldn’t want to talk to me ever again. I knew he wouldn’t go through with it. Deku’s too stubborn.”
Kirishima hummed like he was letting the words simmer. “Have you said you’re sorry?”
“What?!” Katsuki’s tone came out sharp.
Kirishima put his hands up. “Just asking!”
After taking a deep breath in, Katsuki answered. “No. I don’t think the nerd wants to hear from me at all.”
Kirishima turned his body towards Katsuki so he could look him in the eye. “He came to visit you. Multiple times. It can’t hurt to tell him you’re sorry.” All he got in return was a huff from Katsuki as he opened the bag of chips and started to eat them. Kirishima wasn’t wrong, but Katsuki didn’t want to admit that.
“Maybe.”
Kirishima let the hallway stay silent for a moment. They both ate their snacks in peace. Kirishima stood up and took Katsuki’s trash to the trash can in the room. When he turned around he had a serious look on his face. “What you said to him should be unforgivable, but Midoriya’s better than most people. I know that you’ve changed. I’ve seen it. You should show him that change too.” He sat down next to Katsuki, holding intense eye contact. “And if you ever say anything like that again I’m not going to let it slide.”
Katsuki held eye contact. Finally he was really seeing eye-to-eye with Kirishima. They were inherently different in a lot of ways, but this side of Kirishima was probably Katsuki’s favorite. Loyal, strong, and manly. He could never say that out loud because it might make the redhead cry. “Good.”
Kirishima’s stare lost its vaguely threatening edge. “Thanks for telling me. That’s not easy.” Kirishima shifted closer and let his knee brush against Katsuki’s leg. The small touch sent goosebumps across Katsuki’s skin. He let the feeling settle into his body before moving away from the touch. He couldn’t give in. He couldn’t be weak enough to have feelings for Kirishima. It’s just a stupid crush.
-
It had been two days since they had brought Midoriya back to UA and Eijirou couldn’t sleep. It was like something was possessing his thoughts. He shuffled in his bed, turning over and over hoping that he could somehow get comfortable. He ended up on his back in a starfish position staring at the ceiling. Somehow his thoughts always ended up returning Bakugou. The conversation they had in the dim hospital hallway had haunted him. Part of him couldn’t believe that he had done those things, but the other half of him remembered what it was like when he met Bakugou for the first time. He truly was an asshole back then, but there was always something about him that drew Kirishima in.
As he stared at his ceiling he realized that it was because he’d gotten the privilege of seeing Bakugou become better. Right in front of his eyes. Even if the growth was small. But he’d been there when the man bowed his head in the rain and apologized. Eijirou couldn’t believe that was the same person who’d called him hair-for-brains and pushed people around for no reason.
In the middle of this spiral Eijirou heard something coming from Bakugou’s room. The same tossing and turning sound of him trying to get some rest. He was awake too . Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t slept and it was clouding his judgment, or maybe he was being selfish, but he decided to get out of bed, walk over to Bakugou’s door, and knock.
He heard a vague grumbling noise as footsteps approached the door before it swung open. Bakugou stood there in the baggiest clothes Eijirou had ever seen and an expression that instantly told him to ‘fuck off.’ “The hell are you doing here Shitty-Hair?”
Eijirou put his hands in his sweatpant pockets and shrugged. “Can’t sleep. I heard you were awake and wanted to know if you wanted to walk somewhere with me?”
Bakugou raised an eyebrow. “At two A.M.”
Eijirou decided to double down. It was now or never. “Yeah.”
Bakugou looked back at his bed, then back at Eijirou. His eyes seemed to linger on Eijirou. Not just his face. It was at that exact moment that Eijirou realized he forgot to put a shirt on before he left his room. Usually a stare-down like this would make Eijirou shrink, but for some reason the idea that Bakugou was staring at him only made him stand taller. Bakugou seemed to notice this change in Eijirou’s demeanor and Eijirou swore that Bakugou blushed. Or maybe the dark room was playing tricks on him.
“Are you not capable of putting on a shirt?” Bakugou asked with a grating tone.
Eijirou laughed. “Sorry, bro. I just sleep better without one.”
Bakugou looked again with a mask of judgment over his features. “Hmmm… Sure you do.” Then he left the room, cutting in front of Eijirou. He got a few feet ahead and turned around to wait for Eijirou to catch up.
He caught up easily and they took their natural path to the vending machine. They’d replaced the old vending machine with bigger ones at some point. Luckily their two classic items hadn’t changed. The one thing that had changed was that the light from the machine was a warm yellow-orange. It washed over Bakugou and in Kirishima’s eyes made him look like an angel. Not the cherub kind that were sold as trinkets. The angels that fought in battles and carried swords. He couldn’t remember when he’d started letting himself have those kinds of thoughts, but once he started it was impossible to stop.
And how could he not? He was standing in front of Bakugou Katsuki, a person that made Eijirou wonder if he was brought into Eijirou’s life by some dramatic act of fate. He wouldn’t be the person he was today if he hadn’t met Bakugou. He wasn’t even bothering to stare at him through the reflection anymore. Besides, Bakugou didn’t seem to notice. He was too busy trying to get his money into the machine, but it kept spitting it back out.
“What the–” He tried again. The machine whirred for a second before spitting it back out. “God fucking damn it! The shitty machine doesn’t work! The old one never did this shit.” Kirishima agreed it was a pain, but the old machine never made Bakugou look like this. Like he was bathed in heavenly light.
Eijirou stepped up to him and held out his hand. Bakugou grunted out a reluctant huff and gave him the bill. Eijirou took the money between his hands and attempted to flatten it on the corner of the machine. When he fed it into the machine it took a second before accepting it. “Nice!”
Bakugou stepped forward and punched in the numbers for his chips. “I could’ve done it without you.”
Eijirou took the opportunity to bump his shoulder with Katsuki’s. “But aren’t you glad I’m here?” He asked this thinking he wouldn’t get a response.
Bakugou did what was expected for just a second. Then he let out a quick string of words that Eijirou was lucky to pick up on. “Yeah, whatever, fine.”
Eijirou felt his eyes widen. “Dude!” He gave Bakugou a light punch in the arm. Bakugou acted like Kirishima tried to lay him out.
“Don’t be an idiot about it!” He crossed his arms and tried to look away from Eijirou, but that didn’t last long. “Just saying it so you won’t ask anymore. This doesn’t mean I’m gonna be all fuzzy with you, ok?”
Fuzzy wasn’t a word that Eijirou would ever use to describe Bakugou unless hell froze over. “I wasn’t asking you to.”
Bakugou’s eyes narrowed as if he was trying to find a lie somewhere in Eijirou’s words. It seemed that after a second he couldn’t find one and a grin spread across his lips. Suddenly Eijirou couldn’t look anywhere else. Something he said made Bakugou smile. Well as close to a smile as Bakugou could get. “Good. Let’s go back upstairs.”
They went up the elevator in relative silence as they ate their snacks. When they got back to their rooms Eijirou started to move away from Bakugou, but he felt a strong grip on his arm holding him in place. Then he was being dragged into Bakugou’s room. The moment he was inside he took a look around. He’d only been in Bakugou’s room one time before and it was only for a few minutes. The sheets were black and the lights were dim. He had an organized desk with the math homework that had been assigned to them earlier that day already completed. Eijirou should look at that before he leaves. Bakugou’s uniform sat folded on his desk. His tie hung haphazardly from the arm of his desk chair and some kind of trading card sat on top of the stack of clothes. Eijirou couldn’t tell which one it was from where he was standing. The only brightly colored item in the room was an All Might poster hanging above his full length mirror. The poster was a classic picture of All Might but it had gold foil and a small number written in sharpie at the bottom: 1/345 .
Bakugou noticed Eijirou’s staring eyes and turned his focus to the poster. “I got the first one. Deku got the second. Apparently has it hung up in the same spot too. Nerd. ” A comment about their similarities died on Eijirou’s tongue. It wasn’t his place to say it, but noticing it gave Eijirou some solace. Bakugou moved to sit on his bed, resting his back against the wall. He looked up and gave Eijirou a glare. “Are you just going to stand there?”
It took Eijirou a second to really absorb the words. “Oh, yeah, one second.” He left his slippers in the middle of Bakugou’s floor and climbed on to bed to claim the spot next to Bakugou. “Is the math homework hard?”
“Yeah, for you probably. It’s derivatives again. We can do it tomorrow if we don’t have training or something.” Eijirou wasn’t sure when Bakugou started including him in so many regular activities, but he wasn’t going to complain and ruin the streak.
“I think I’m getting better though. I got a B+ on the last one! Y’know before everything happened. So, thanks for helping me.”
Eijirou knew that Bakugou wasn’t used to the phrase ‘you’re welcome,’ so when he got a short grunt in response he didn’t complain. “I just want shit to be normal again. Tired of chasing down Deku and planning a war. I would rather teach your dumb ass math.”
Even though Bakugou called him a dumbass, the comment made him feel warm. He wanted things to be simple again. As simple as they could be when your life revolved around putting villains in jail. “Yeah… I’d rather do that too. As much as I like to watch you fight people I’d prefer it if I knew that you’d always come out alive at the end.” Bakugou rubbed at one of his eyes and hummed again. Then he felt the weight of Bakugou’s head on his shoulder. “Do you want me to go? I know it’s late…” Eijirou waited for some kind of signal or any kind of noise, but he never got a response. “Bakugou?” He looked to his right and could see the slow and deep breaths that Bakugou was taking in. He was asleep. Eijirou let himself stare for a moment. He wished that he could pull Bakugou closer, but decided to keep his hand to himself and let the man sleep on his shoulder. “Night, Bakugou.”
At some point this crush was going to kill him.
-
Katsuki wasn’t going to lie. Being back on campus after the war was one of the best moments of his life despite all of the terrible after-effects that came from the end of a war. He was alive and he could finish his second year. And he could go back to teaching Kirishima math. They were in the new dorms where the tables were smaller, which Katsuki hated, but he’d get over it if it meant that he could actually be sitting across from Kirishima. Sometime between being stabbed three times and bleeding out during the war he’d given into his crush on Kirishima. At some point it became harder to push the feelings down until it was impossible. Everytime he looked at Kirishima he got a terrible rustling in his stomach and was acutely aware of any chance he could get to stare at him. He wasn’t picky either. Sometimes he would stare at Kirishima’s arms. Sometimes he would stare at Kirishima’s teeth. Sometimes he could just look him straight in the eyes under the guise that he was really interested in whatever Kirishima had decided to ramble about.
The real problem started when Kirishima was the one looking at him during their study sessions. His eyes were hard to ignore. “If you don’t factor it correctly it fucks up your whole answer. Check number three.” Kirishima looked back at the paper with narrowed eyes. Katsuki pointed to his mistake. “This should be a five not a three.”
Kirishima looked at the paper for another second, then seemed to come alive in front of Katsuki. “Yes! That makes so much more sense. No wonder I kept getting the wrong answer.” He took a few fruit snacks out of the bag and held them in his hand. “Thanks, Kat!”
The sound of that word made Katsuki freeze. “What?!” He couldn’t tell if he fucking loved it or if he despised it.
“I said thanks!” Kirishima blinked at him with an innocent look on his face. Katsuki instantly saw through it.
“No, you said–” Katsuki couldn’t get the word out. “You called me–”
Kirishima tilted his head and smiled. “Oh, Kat?”
Hearing the name again instantly flustered Katsuki. He tried to rein it in before he spoke again. It didn’t really work. “Uh, yeah. That.”
Kirishima returned his eyes to his homework. “Yeah, it’s just the first part of your name.” He wrote in another answer before putting down his pencil and giving his full attention to Katsuki. “You get to call me Shitty-Hair. I thought I should use another nickname. Kat was the obvious choice.”
Obvious? “Like I’m a fucking house cat?”
Kirishima instantly shook his head with fervor. “No! You’re a lion. I mean you’ve got the hair and everything. You’re a big cat.”
Katsuki didn’t hate it. It stoked his pride to hear that Kirishima saw him as a lion with a flowing mane. “You’re a shark. The great white kind. ‘Cause of your dumb teeth.”
Kirishima smiled. “So, you’re going to start calling me Sharky?”
Katsuki rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Fuck no. I’m gonna call you Eijirou.”
He thought he could hear Kirishima’s breath catching in his throat. The sound was addictive. Eijirou returned his eyes to the paper, then looked back at Katsuki like he was the reason that the sun rose in the morning and set at night. Like Katsuki was responsible for the seasons changing and the tide going in and out. Before Katsuki could let himself believe it he looked away. He wasn’t going to convince himself of something that would never be true. Just because he was a lovesick idiot doesn’t mean that Kirishima was too.
-
Eijirou scanned the room full of his classmates. Music blared over the speakers, and even though people were in formal outfits they were all dancing. Eijirou had danced too, but as he was dancing he had a sudden and striking thought. Where’s Bakugou? It made him stop what he was doing and look around. Bakugou didn’t seem to be in the room at all.
Someone grabbed Eijirou’s arm, diverting his focus. Mina stood there, playful judgment written on her face. “You’re looking for him.”
Eijirou was frozen with shock for a moment. “What? How d–”
“He’s outside.” She turned around and pointed at the door. “He went that way. And he’s wearing a really cute suit.”
Excitement started to build up in Eijirou’s chest. “Thank you.” He said it with such a genuine tone that Mina laughed as he walked away. He pushed the door open and was hit with a rush of cool air. It soothed Eijirou after being stuck in a room packed with people. He could see Bakugou standing next to the vending machines, scrolling on his phone. Eijirou walked over and grabbed Katsuki’s attention. “Hey.”
Bakugou stood up straight and put his phone in his pocket. It gave Eijirou a chance to really look at Bakugou’s suit. Mina was wrong. It wasn’t cute. It was fucking hot. It was an all black suit, perfectly tailored to every curve of his body. For the first time in his life it was impossible for Eijirou to shake the urge to put his hands on Bakugou’s body. It was like seeing an oasis in the desert.
“Oi, Kiri. My eyes are up here.” The phrase instantly took Eijirou back to training camp. But this time he didn’t feel like it was a joke. There was something a little bit too real about it. He’d been caught staring, but Eijirou didn’t care. It was worth it to drink in the way the Bakugou looked.
“I know…” Eijirou said it under his breath.
Bakugou’s face scrunched up. “What?”
Eijirou felt so relieved to know that Bakugou hadn’t heard him. “I said sorry bro!” He actually was proud of that save, even though Katsuki still gave him a glare in return. “Do you not like the dancing? Or is it the music?”
Bakugou stuck his hands in his pockets, which did not make Eijirou start staring again, and looked Eijirou in the eye with the steady stare that always made Eijirou flustered. “The music is always shitty. I just–” Bakugou got that look on his face that meant that he was trying to confess something. “I can’t hear anything in there. Too many voices.”
Eijirou hummed and took a step closer. “It’s quiet out here. It’s kinda nice.”
“Don’t lie, Shitty-Hair. I know you. Loud-ass places like that are perfect for you.” Bakugou looked up at the stars. “Why’d you even come out here?”
The answer was so obvious to Eijirou that it slipped off his tongue before he could stop it. “Because you’re out here.”
Bakugou shook his head. “Oh shut up you sappy piece of shit.”
Eijirou laughed and turned his eyes to Bakugou, knowing he’d be able to get away with staring under the guise of their conversation. “It’s true. Would you rather have me lie to you?”
“No.” The honesty behind that one word sent a chill down Eijirou’s spine. “If you ever lie to me I’ll kill you.”
Eijirou was at a loss for words. It wasn’t often that Bakugou broke out his serious voice. Usually he was angry at the world. It meant that Eijirou couldn’t let it go unrecognized. “Noted.”
Katsuki quickly turned his eyes to Eijirou. “I’m serious, Eijirou.”
Eijirou turned his whole body so he was facing Katsuki. “So am I.”
“Good.” Then Katsuki’s eyes started to trail around Eijirou’s body like he was tracing the lines of his suit. “Where’d you get the suit?”
Eijirou suddenly felt self-conscious. Maybe it was a bad color for him. Maybe it was the wrong size. The intensity behind Katsuki’s eyes didn’t help. “The mall. That suit store next to the boba place?”
Katsuki didn’t respond. He just narrowed his eyes. Eijirou thought he was going to have a heart attack. “Surprising. Their suits aren’t usually this good.” The praise sent a wave of relief through Eijirou’s body. Katsuki noticed this, because of course he did. “What? Did you think I was going to tear your suit apart?” When Katsuki put it like that he didn’t think he would mind. “I’m not that bitter. And I’m not a liar.” Katsuki’s eyes traveled up and down his body. Eijirou swore he could feel them on his skin. Just when Eijirou thought he was going to die on the spot, Katsuki reached out and took Eijirou’s tie between his fingers and took a step closer. “You look good in a suit, Kirishima Eijirou.”
Then Katsuki was gone, leaving Eijirou outside wondering if words could kill.
-
The rest of second year flew by. All of them were so busy that when third year came around it was hard to believe that they’d be leaving in a year. This year brought patrols into their schedules instead of classes. Eijirou thought that he was lucky to be placed with Bakugou for one day of the week. He thought that until he had to spend that much time with him. It was torture being around Katsuki in his hero costume and having to pretend like he wouldn’t drop everything just to get that man to kiss him.
They were on the street after they’d taken down a petty thief on a hot August afternoon. Katsuki pushed his mask up like a headband and wiped the sweat off of his forehead. That shouldn’t have been as hot as it was to Eijirou. “I’m fucking hungry. I’m getting food.” Katsuki led them down an alley where a set of vending machines stood. He scanned the items with his eyes before feeding money into the machine and typing in the code. Eijirou watched him in the reflection and couldn’t help but feel like they’d done this routine before. How many times had he stared at Katsuki while he waited (im)patiently for his snack. How many times did he think that Katsuki couldn’t get any prettier, but that couldn’t have been possible if he thought that every time he saw him. How long had he been pretending that he wasn’t in love with Katsuki. How many times had he convinced himself that it was just a stupid crush. That it would just wash away like chalk in the rain.
Before Katsuki could reach down and grab his chips Eijirou grabbed his arm. Before he could hesitate he used his strength to push Katsuki against the glass window of the machine. “What the hell?!” Katsuki looked at Eijirou’s face in detail before asking a cutting question. “What’s your favorite restaurant?”
Eijirou’s eyes went wide. “I’m not– It’s Musutafu Hot Pot. Did you think I was a villain or something?”
“Yes!” Katsuki seemed to relax. “Don’t act surprised, dipshit! You don’t usually do this shit! What the hell is this for anyway?”
“I’ve been lying to you,” Eijirou confessed. Katsuki opened his mouth to talk, but Eijirou beat him to it. “Let me finish. I’ve been lying to you since May of our first year. Do you remember the first time that we got a snack at the vending machines at UA?” Katsuki kept his mouth shut and nodded. “I remember looking at you that night and thinking holy fuck he’s beautiful . And I thought that if I pushed that thought away and lied to you and myself and said that I was happy just being your friend that it would be fine. But it’s not fine. The idea of being your friend for the rest of my life would be worse than hearing you say that you could never see me like that. It’s been two years and I’m beating myself up for wasting so much time because I’m in love with you.”
Katsuki’s face was blank. Eijirou started panicking, but before he could move Katsuki pounded his fists against Eijirou’s chest. “Fuck you! I fucking hate you, you idiot!” Eijirou tried to take a step back, but Katsuki grabbed him by the arms and kept him close. “Two years!? You let me think that I’d die alone because of my stupid fucking unshakable crush on you? I thought I’d have to marry some dumb extra and pretend they were you just to keep myself sane! And you said nothing! I’ve been in love with you for years and you can’t even man up and tell me yourself?”
“Wait–”
“Shut up! I’m mad at you.”
Eijirou stepped closer, pushing Katsuki against the vending machine. “Can you stop being mad at me for just a second so I can kiss you?”
Katsuki’s eyes widened as if the air had been knocked out of him. “What? I– Yes.”
Eijirou put his hands on Katsuki’s waist and leaned in to kiss him. Katsuki held him close by the metal mask on Eijirou’s face. “Since we’re confessing all of our bullshit now I can finally tell you how hot your hero costume is. As if being shirtless wasn’t enough you wear this fucking thing on your face.” Katsuki started to word-vomit. Kirishima tried to enjoy it while it lasted. “And for some reason being bad at math makes you even more attractive. When you say my name I feel like I might have a heart attack. And your hair isn’t shitty. It’s perfect. So, I’ve been lying to you too.”
Eijirou broke out a wide smile. “I promise I’ll never lie to you again, Katsuki.”
For a split second Eijirou could see the ‘heart attack’ that Katsuki was talking about. “Me neither. I love you, Kirishima Eijirou.” A cascade of relief washed over Eijirou. Those words could move mountains.
“That’s good,” Eijirou said. “‘Cause I love you too, Bakugou Katsuki.”