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Changmin is usually a prompt replier.
Which is why Sunwoo is concerned when he's still waiting for Changmin to reply 40 mins after the text was delivered.
He's standing at the company's entrance, where he and Changmin were supposed to meet up after practice before heading home together. It was 1 am and the others had long gone to the dorms. Sunwoo had stayed behind because he thought Changmin looked a little zoned out during practice, highly unusual of him. He figured it wasn't the safest idea to let his hyung walk back home alone if he wasn't feeling his best. Besides, it'd give them a chance to finally talk about what's been going on in their lives. Specifically the older's, since he's been harder to catch lately for a chat. The problem with wanting to care for people like Changmin is that Sunwoo always fears he might make the other feel suffocated. The line between showing he's there for his hyung and suddenly overwhelming him is far too thin for Sunwoo to feel confident treading.
So when Sunwoo asked Changmin after practice if he wanted to go home together and the other responded with 'yeah sure, could you wait out for me for just 10 minutes though? I just need to go over a move a few more times', Sunwoo was relieved he wasn't outright pushed away. After 20 mins had passed, he texted the older to ask if he was done, to no avail. He thought of going back up to check on him, but if Changmin wanted some time alone, he didn't want to interrupt. So he lounged in the lobby, walked around, patiently waiting. When an hour had passed, he started to worry. 'Maybe I should go check on him after all.'
He makes his way to the practice room, knocking on the door. No response. Slowly peers the door open. Changmin's standing next to the laptop, seemingly watching something. Except the screen's black. The video long ended.
'Hyung?'
Changmin doesn't seem to notice
Sunwoo moves closer
'Hyung.'
Changmin startles slightly, turning his attention to the younger. 'Oh. Sunwoo-ya. What time is it? Did i keep you waiting long? I'm sorry I was just watching the practice clip over one last time'
On a blank screen? Sunwoo doesn't say it out loud though.
He tries to act natural "Ah hyung you should answer your phone! It's freezing outside and i was so HUNGRY waiting for you out there." He only means to joke, but Changmin seems to look embarrassed, Guilt and shame wracks Sunwoo's body. Idiot Idiot Idiot
‘Oh no it's really alright, i was just kidding! Besides, you can just make me some ramen when we get home to make up for it!'
That seems to make Changmin at least meet his eyes. 'Yeah, okay. I'm still sorry Sunwoo. I couldn't keep up with everything." Sunwoo knows Changmin means he couldn't keep up with the time, but he looks so small and frail right now. Like he's shrunken 10 times, the weight of the world too much on his shoulders. Like he means he's unable to keep up with life itself. Too worn out and disoriented to keep pace. He tries to think of ANYTHING else to say, but his tongue betrays him "Hyung, are you feeling alright?"
Changmin doesn't say anything for a moment, apparently surprised. Then a small, sad smile appears on his lips, “ofcourse, sunwoo-ya"
Sunwoo debates for a second. Screw it, he's already asked this much, might as well push it a little more, “Hyung, are you sure? I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to add to your worries but you know you have people who love you and you can talk to, right? I-" he stops abruptly
Changmin's slowly backing into the wall, eyes wide and teary
Sunwoo wants to reach out but he's frozen, afraid he caused whatever this is. He watches with horror as changmin slowly slides down the wall, head hanging low. His hands come up to cover his ears as he takes in a shakey breath.
Sunwoo is mortified and completely out of his depth, but every part of him wants to help. “Hyung i-i'm so sorry i didn't m-mean-"
“I'm so tired Sunwoo"
Changmin finally looks up. Eyes glossy and pupils shakey. He meets Sunwoo's own gaze for only a second before he closes his eyes tight, tears threatening to fall, head in his hands. It shatters Sunwoo's heart into a million pieces, completely ruins him. “I'm so so tired, it feels like i can’t breathe anymore"
As soon as Sunwoo sees Changmin's shoulders tremble, something takes over. He's running to changmin's side, holding him, pulling him in an his embrace. Changmin leans on to his shoulder with no resistance. Somehow, this hurts Sunwoo even more, seeing how little fight his usually fierce hyung has left in him.
“Hyung it's alright, I've got you. It'll be alright"
“And what if it never is, Sunwoo? It's been this way for months. What if i never stop feeling this way?”
“Then we'll figure out a new plan together”
Sunwoo can see the exact second changmin breaks. The tears flowing like a dam had been in place for years and just now broke. The older shook so violently as he sobbed into Sunwoo's shirt, gripping it tight, that Sunwoo couldnt help the tears in his own eyes. They stayed this way for a solid 40 minutes before Changmin seemed to calm down a bit, sobs turning into light sniffles. The thundering storm turning into light drizzle.
“Feel better, hyung?”
Changmin looks up, appearing dazed and exhausted, eyes swollen. He bites his lip and slowly nods before burying his face into the crook of sunwoo's neck.
“You know, I’m not entirely sure what you're going through, and I'm not sure I can help-"
Changmin's hold tightens on Sunwoo's jacket. Sunwoo holds him closer for reassurance.
“-but I can promise you that you never have to be alone through it.”
A few seconds pass before Changmin comes out of hiding, staring at his hands folded in his lap.
“Sunwoo-ya. I-I think I'm just overwhelmed. We haven't been able to go home in so long. We haven't had any breaks. I love what we do and I love-" his voice breaks again so he pauses. A second later, “But it gets so tiring sometimes. I don't have the strength to keep going right now"
Sunwoo softly holds Changmin's fidgety hands. “That's why i'm saying you can just lean on me, hyung. On all of us. We're a team for a reason. We understand each other's pains and troubles, we're all here for each other. You never have to be alone"
Changmin smiles a little, “Thankyou, Sunwoo"
Sunwoo feels relief wash over him, like the clouds parted to let a little bit of sunhine break through.
Distantly, they see Sunwoo's phone light up, Jacob's name flashes across the screen, he's probably calling out of worry.
“It's really late, we should head home now",Changmin begins to stand.
Sunwoo grabs his arm before he can fully stand and pulls him in for a hug. He feels changmin stiff with shock in his grip, before melting into him, the older's hands coming up behind him to return the embrace.
“Hyungie, please let me take care of you. I want to be here for you but i dont wan’t to intrude, so i'm asking you to please confide in me when things get too much. We'll figure things out together. If not, we can atleast take a break together. If even that fails, atleast we'll be sad TOGETHER. I-I can't watch you go through things alone, you're my b-best friend and I love you too much"
Changmin can feel sunwoo's voice break and he immediately pulls back to look at Sunwoo, grasps his face in his hands and smiles at him, “I love you too, Sunwoo. And okay, I promise to try". He leaves a soft kiss on the younger's forehead
“Now let's get going, hm?” He pulls Sunwoo up with him.
“One more thing though, hyung"
Changmin turns around, surprised, “Yeah?”
Sunwoo smirks playfully, “I still wouldn't mind you compensating with Ramen”
And Ramen they had, shared over giggles and though it was the middle of the night for everyone else, for Changmin and Sunwoo, it felt like the sun was finally shining through.