Work Text:
17th of July
He stared down at his wrist. It was supposed to show now. It was past midnight. It would show up at any moment. At any moment he would know who his soulmate was. At any moment he would burst into tears, knowing that the person that he wanted to love and be loved by, wouldn’t be his.
At any moment he would have to start accepting the fact that he would have to go through life alone.
Wonwoo had been looking forward to turning 30 for years now. Most of his friends had turned in the past year and they had all been so excited and happy with their destiny. He knew that the destiny that awaited him wouldn’t be kind.
The clock struck 12:15am as Wonwoo glanced down at his wrist again.
Any moment now.
He held his right arm with his left hand and caressed his skin with his thumb. It should’ve been here by now. His soulmate should have been carved into his skin at 12:00am, just as he turned 30. A lot of his friends had said that it had felt like a burning sensation. “Almost like a tattoo.” Seungcheol had said when Jeonghan’s name had been carved into his skin.
But there wasn’t a burning sensation. He felt completely normal. Disappointed. Betrayed by the system. Heartbroken.
He would be alone for the rest of his god forsaken life.
“Hyuuung,” his roommate called through the door. “It’s been half an hour now, come out.” His roommate continued to knock until Wonwoo let out a deep sigh. He pulled down his sleeves, making sure to cover his wrists as he walked to the door to open it to an annoyed Mingyu.
“I’m keeping it covered.” Wonwoo walked past him quickly and pulled his sleeves over his hands to hold them in place.
“But you said I could see who it was,” Mingyu whined behind him and he tried to grab his shirt. Wonwoo ducked out of the way and sat down on his bed, on his hands. The moment their eyes met and Mingyu saw the worry in Wonwoo’s eyes, he knew something was wrong. “Is it that bad?”
Wonwoo bit the inside of his cheek. “It isn’t good, I’ll tell you that, hah,” he tried to joke it off. It was funny. Hilarious even.
Mingyu knew how to take a hint and he backed out of the room. “Tell me if you need anything?” Wonwoo nodded at this and laid down on his bed as Mingyu closed the door. A sigh left his lips.
“ I need your name on my wrist ,” but Wonwoo would never admit that.
He pulled out his phone and clicked his way into the message app. There was one person he could talk to about this.
12:34am Wonwoo: Guess what
12:36am Soonyoung: YOU GOT HIS NAME?????????
12:36am Soonyoung: I fucking knew it
12:37am Soonyoung: I told you it would happen
12:38am Soonyoung: Did it hurt??
12:38am Soonyoung: mine hurt like a bitch
12:39am Wonwoo: I wouldn’t know
12:40am Soonyoung: what do you mean?
12:40am Soonyoung: it hurts for everyone
12:41am Wonwoo: [image attached]
12:44am Soonyoung: the fuck do you mean
12:44am Soonyoung: that cant be
12:45am Soonyoung: youre shitting my dick rn
12:46am Soonyoung: send me a new picture of your wrist.
12:47am Soonyoung: stop fucking around
12:48am Soonyoung: I’ll come over and force you to show me
12:51am Wonwoo: It’s a new photo
12:52am Wonwoo: I’m an empty soul
12:54am Soonyoung: you’re not an empty soul, hyung
12:56am Soonyoung: remember that friend of Shua? He didn’t get his mark at first, but then in the evening he got it
12:57am Soonyoung: let’s wait out the day,
12:58am Soonyoung: you’re not an empty soul, I won’t let it happen
An empty soul is the term the society used for the less fortunate. The people that would wait their entire life for a love that would never show up. An empty soul would just like the name, empty. Their entire life would feel meaningless. They had heard of a few Empty souls that decided that life wasn’t worth it if they were destined to be empty.
Wonwoo had never felt empty. It wasn’t something that had happened in his family. No one was an empty soul. It wasn’t that you weren’t allowed to be an empty soul, it was just frowned upon.
30 minutes til midnight
17th of July
He had been hiding his wrist all day. Most of his friends kind of suspected that it wasn’t good news that he wouldn’t show his wrist. So when he sat on his bed beside Soonyoung, his best friend, with his arm in Soonyoung’s hands, he felt the dreadful feeling set in.
“Do we rub your skin until it’s forced out?” Soonyoung asked as he inspected the wrist. The death glare that he received from Wonwoo spoke volumes. “Got it, that’s off the list.”
“I’m an empty soul.” Wonwoo said out loud for the first time that day. Soonyoung nudged his shoulder as he scoffed softly. “What, it’s obviously true?” He pulled his arm out of Soonyoung’s grasp.
“Maybe it’ll show up later?” Soonyoung tried to make light of the situation. They never personally heard of someone that had gotten their mark later in life. It’s been talked about for generations that there could be a possibility for a late bloomer , as they called it. To be honest, Wonwoo knew that they had only made that up to give hope to the empties.
“Late bloomers are fake, we all know that.” Wonwoo spoke mindlessly as he got out of bed and swiftly changed into a hoodie and sweatpants. “I’m going to the store, I need a drink.”
Soonyoung laid down in Wonwoo’s bed and pulled out his phone. “Okay, bring Mingyu.”
“You suck,” Wonwoo put his wallet in his pocket and walked out of his room. Coincidentally Mingyu entered the hallway at the same time as him. “I’m going for a booze run, want to come?”
Mingyu shrugged and nodded to the door.
As they walked in silence towards the convenience store Wonwoo sensed that Mingyu struggled to find the words to start a conversation. He smiled as he saw Mingyu bite the inside of his lip and focused on the ground as they walked.
“You’re allowed to ask.” Wonwoo nudged Mingyu’s shoulder with his own. The taller of the two looked down at him as they walked.
“Who did you get?” It was almost like a whisper. It was all that Mingyu had dared to say. The last thing he had wanted to do was to offend Wonwoo.
A soft chuckle left Wonwoo’s lips as he put his hands in his pockets. He didn’t want to say it. He felt embarrassed. Mingyu would say that it didn’t matter. That he would help him find someone either way. He knew that He would never leave his side. But there was a worry deep within himself that fucked with his brain.
“I’m one of the empties.” Wonwoo finally spoke as he kicked a pebble on that ground. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, making him stop walking. He turned to Mingyu and smiled. “I’ve known all day and I’ve had this tiny glimmer of hope that there would be a name at the end of the night but,” He shrugged and took out his phone to show the time. 12:00am . Time was up.
“Hyung, that’s okay,” Mingyu immediately hugged him. One of his bone crushing hugs. His famous hugs. “You’ll never be alone with me in your life,”
“ Until the day you find out who your soulmate is. ” Wonwoo never said it outloud. Why would he? It’s not like he could do anything about it.
22nd of November
Wonwoo stood in the background as their friend group gathered around Jihoon. Just as the clock struck midnight, he felt an odd burning sensation on his arm. He had brought his arm up to look at it and there it was. Soonyoung . Wonwoo had seen it coming from a mile away. Ever since Soonyoung had gotten Jihoon on his arm, he knew that his best friend would be getting his happy ending.
An arm fell around Wonwoo’s shoulders and he glanced down at the hand that was attached to the person crowding his space. “Wanna get out of here?”
Wonwoo chugged his drink and put down the glass. “Thought you’d never ask.”
They ducked out without anyone noticing them. With Mingyu not having received his mark yet, Wonwoo liked to pretend that he was an empty soul too. It was cruel. Wonwwo knew this. But it kept him sane.
The whole “ I’m an empty soul and I’m in love with my roommate ” shtick felt lonely at times, so pretending like everything was fine kind of helped.
Being out with Mingyu until dawn was something that was so dear to Wonwoo’s heart. They talked about everything. What would it feel like to die? How long can you hold your breath? Do you ever think about what it would have been like if the whole soulmate thing didn’t exist?
“Huh?” Wonwoo hummed as he kept his eyes on the water in front of them.
“Do you ever think about what it would have been like if the whole soulmate thing didn’t exist?” Mingyu asked absentmindedly as he laid down beside Wonwoo, listening to the waves as they hit the shore softly.
"Every moment of every day.”
“Do you think your life would’ve been different?” The soft voice behind Wonwoo made him smile. Mingyu was close to falling asleep. They had been out for hours and the both of them were cold as ice by this point. Even with blankets and jackets, the cold was starting to seep in through the fabric.
“I don’t really think so,” Wonwoo stood up and held his hand out. “You would still be here.” Mingyu grabbed it and pulled himself up with the help of Wonwoo. They gathered their belongings and headed home.
Even without soulmates engraved in their skin. Mingyu would’ve still been Wonwoo’s soulmate at heart.
Just like he is now.
An empty soul with a heart leant to someone who would keep it safe.
18th of February
At every birthday party since Mingyu found out about his roommate's empty wrist, he always kept an eye on him. Wherever Wonwoo was, Mingyu was. Soonyoung had noticed this and had asked Wonwoo about it. He had shrugged it off. “He’s my roommate, of course we’re going to be together alot.”
“Joshua is roommates with Minghao but they’re like never together if they’re not at home.” Soonyoung sat down beside him. He gave him one of the drinks that he had filled up on his way over to the couch.
“That’s because Joshua is always with his now confirmed soulmate.” Wonwoo nodded over to where Joshua sat with Seokmin. It was already 2:13am and they had not left each other's sides as the mark was burned into Seokmin’s wrist.
It had been 128 days since he was supposed to be marked and be on the search for his destiny. It hurts a little less every day. There were some famous empty souls out there, so there was still hope for him in that sense. He could become a shoulder to cry on for the empty souls out there that didn’t see a meaning with life anymore.
Mingyu plopped down beside him and laid his head on his shoulder. “Is the room spinning? It’s definitely spinning.” He slurred on his words and almost spilled the drink he held on Wonwoo’s legs.
“That’s the room telling you that it’s time to stop drinking.” Wonwoo spoke softly and took the drink from his hands. Mingyu whined for a moment, but eventually cuddled into Wonwoo’s side. There was nothing Wonwoo could do, but in all honesty there was nothing he wanted to do than to sit there and breathe in Mingyu’s perfume. To feel his heartbeat against his arm. To have his hand on his thigh. To hear his soft breath on his cheek.
This is where Wonwoo belonged. That’s what had made the 128 days bearable. Mingyu would always be there.
He would always be there until he couldn’t be.
5th of April
263 days. Wonwoo had lived on this earth as an empty soul for 263 days. Which meant that he had one day left of happiness. One day left with Mingyu by his side.
One day until he couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t the only empty soul in their friend group.
“I was thinking of just staying in tonight, not having a big party to celebrate.” Mingyu’s voice broke through Wonwoo’s million thoughts.
“Huh?” Wonwoo hummed and shook his head to get rid of the thoughts that clouded his senses.
“How about just you and me and a movie?” Mingyu smiled. It was a soft smile. One of his five smiles that Wonwoo loved so much. If he was honest, this was his favorite. Because it was more often than not used for only him.
“But it’s your thirtieth birthday, Min.” Wonwoo whined and put down the popcorn he had popped an hour ago, that he had forgotten all about. “You can’t just not do anything.”
Mingyu furrowed his brow. “I am doing something. Watching a movie with you.” He ruffled Wonwoo’s hair.
“What about…?” Wonwoo asked and glanced down at Mingyu’s arm.
“Don’t care about that, it’s silly anyway.” Mingyu shrugged and grabbed the popcorn from the table. “It’s only two hours until midnight anyways, I already told the other’s that we’ll have a party tomorrow instead.”
Wonwoo glanced at the time. Had he really not noticed that the sun had gone down? What had he done with his last day? Nothing. He had done nothing. He had woken up late, missed Mingyu by a second before he left for work. And then once more when Mingyu left for the gym.
This was their only time together today. Wonwoo could do nothing but grab the remote and choose a movie for them with a broken smile. 2 measly hours before he would find out the inevitable.
30 minutes until midnight
5th of April
“Are you nervous?” Wonwoo had not been able to stop staring at Mingyu’s exposed wrist since he had taken his hoodie off.
Mingyu shrugged as he grabbed Wonwoo’s wrist to caress it. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I don’t care what it says on my wrist.”
The warm feeling of Mingyu skin against his wrist made him blush. Wonwoo rarely blushed so he felt confused as to why he was blushing now.
10 minutes until midnight
5th of April
“Are you sure you’re not nervous?” Wonwoo stood up at this point, pacing the floor. “What if you hate the person that shows up? What do we do then? Run away? Cut your arm off?”
Mingyu chuckled at the sight of his roommate pacing around the living room. He had noticed how nervous Wonwoo had been for weeks. That’s why he didn't want to make a big deal out of his own birthday. “Why are you nervous? It’s my soulmate?”
“Because I’m going to have to be around this person,” Wonwoo stopped and folded his arms across his chest. He suddenly stood straight. “What if I hate them?” A sudden panic filled Wonwoo’s veins. “What if they hate me?”
“Come sit.” Mingyu patted the couch beside him as he suppressed a smile.
2 minutes until midnight
5th of April
“I don’t want to see it happen.” Wonwoo whispered softly, which made Mingyu turn towards him. “I don’t think I have it in me to see it.” He let a broken chuckle leave his lips.
Mingyu slowly stood up and smiled at his friend. “I understand, hyung.” Wonwoo watched as he walked away and closed the door after him.
He kept his eyes on the door as he picked on his skin on his wrist. It had become a habit a while ago when he was feeling anxious. Once he picked at his skin so much that it had started bleeding.
It wasn’t like he had tried to make himself bleed, or even put himself through the pain that the pinching caused. It was sort of a coping mechanism. He tried to replicate the feeling of when he thought others felt when they had gotten their mark.
He held his skin between his index finger and his thumb and pressed hard. And again. And again.
The burning sensation that he was looking for came with every pinch he did. He was wondering if Mingyu was feeling the same way behind the closed door. Was it a burning sensation?
He glanced at the clock as he pinched harder. 12:00am . He grabbed a new part and pinched again. A tear fell down his cheek as he pinched harder.
Wonwoo didn’t want to feel sad. He was happy for his friend. A soulmate for life is what everyone wants. Even Wonwoo. He still wanted a soulmate. Even after 264 days as an empty soul.
A pinched a new part and squeezed hard. He closed his eyes and let himself feel the pain. The pain of the unknown. The pain of losing the love of his life. The pain of knowing that he would die alone.
Wonwoo hissed when he accidently pressed his nail into his skin a little too hard, but he kept his eyes closed.
10 minutes after midnight
6th of April
The door creaked open and Wonwoo’s eyes flew open. He pulled down his sleeves to cover up the probably red skin from the pinching. He saw that Mingyu had thrown a hoodie on and Wonwoo could see a faint smile on his lips.
“Hyung, no, why are you crying?” Mingyu hurried over to him. Wonwoo had forgotten about that part and quickly tried to wipe away the tears from his cheeks.
When he was wiping away the tears his sleeves dropped down his arms, exposing his skin. Mingyu sat in front of him and stared at his wrist. Wonwoo knew exactly what he had seen and he quickly pulled at the fabric to cover it up again.
“What was that?” Mingyu let out. He was in shock. He sat frozen and couldn’t take his eyes off of his wrist.
“It’s nothing, it’s just something I do when I’m anxious.” Wonwoo pulled even more on his sleeves and bunched them up in his hands. Mingyu shook his head and took Wonwoo’s right hand in his own.
“I’m serious, what is that?” Mingyu’s voice broke through the barrier that had covered Wonwoo’s ears for the past 12 minutes. Wonwoo turned his head softly to the side in confusion. Mingyu pulled at his sleeve to expose his skin.
“Please, I know it looks bad, but it doesn’t hurt.” Wonwoo tried to pull at his sleeve again.
“Look.” Mingyu told Wonwoo and nodded to their joined hands. Wonwoo had never wanted to look at his wrists when he had been pinching. The burning sensation had sometimes made him believe that there had been a name carved in.
Wonwoo held eye contact with Mingyu as he sighed. “Yes, I’m red. I know, Min.”
Mingyu forced Wonwoo to look down. There it was. What he had waited 264 days for.
Kim Mingyu
He looked up at Mingyu and then back at his wrist. “How…” Was all he could say as he looked up at Mingyu again. Mingyu let out a laugh and pulled on his own sleeve.
“Look.” He smiled at Wonwoo. His heart was beating out of his chest.
Jeon Wonwoo
Wonwoo could feel a tear leave the comfort of his eye but before it could fall, Mingyu caught it as he caressed his cheek. “You’re not an empty soul.” Wonwoo felt as a laugh erupted through his chest. Would this be his happy ending? “You were just waiting for my soul to catch up.”
264 days of waiting and suddenly Mingyu's soft lips touched Wonwoo’s. A gasp left the shorter ones lips, which made Mingyu move back. “No,” Wonwoo whined and grabbed his neck. “Come back here.”
Their souls had finally caught up to each other.
Wonwoo wasn’t an empty soul.
He could never have been one with Mingyu in his life.
12:34am Wonwoo: Guess what
12:34am Wonwoo: [Image attatched]
1:03am Soonyoung: SHUT THE FUCK UP
1:04am Soonyoung: I'm coming over tomorrow and you're telling me EVERYTHING MISTER JEON