Work Text:
Starbucks
Location: Kokubunji, West Tokyo
Recommended Reviews:
Shirakawa K.
Hachioji, West Tokyo
☆☆☆☆☆
“As a respectable franchise, I thought it would be run by a professional team. I am appalled by this service. You call this place an establishment?”
UR BOI UME
Adachi, East Tokyo
★★☆☆☆
“went to this place high as fuck and would probably only go there again if i was in the same situation, also shout out to kuramochi for giving me a free lid, what a homie”
A coffee shop sits on the corner of a busy intersection in West Tokyo. It’s a quaint area, large enough to accommodate wooden stools and tables in abundance and cater to busy workers, students cramming for exams and friends catching up. Overall, it's an inviting atmosphere where people are able socialize freely with ease. But the thing that gets most people buzzing about this particular Starbucks are the employees.
"May I get your name?" Kazuya asks the male he's been flirting with for the past minute.
"Sanada."
"Right." He scribbles 'fuck boy' at the bottom. "Your order will be waiting for you over there."
“Hey, Miyuki?” Youichi stares cross-eyed at the red cup, turning it around to inspect it further.
“Hm?” Kazuya starts singing under his breath, picking up a wet rag to do some quick cleaning as Tetsu takes over the register.
“Who is this for? You didn’t write a name again.”
Shrugging, Kazuya gets back to sloppily wiping the counters. “How would I remember? We’re not even busy.”
Youichi grabs the cloth from him and punches Kazuya in the arm. “I know your vision isn’t the greatest, but do you see that fucking line? It’s curving around the shop and making this huge cluster of people! Also, you’re supposed to be helping me.”
He picks up an empty cup and stares at it quizzically. “You’re a liar, Kuramochi. This one says ‘WHO CARES’. I did write something.”
“That’s not the fucking point, dimwit,” Youichi snarls, shoving Kazuya out of the way to get to the sink. He’s washing the blender after making someone a caramel frappucino and bits of ice fly out, striking his face. “These people are angry--someone threw a straw at me earlier today!”
“How did it get this long anyways?” Upon closer inspection of another cup he’s holding, there’s an initial in the corner that vaguely looks like two small dicks. Trust Youichi to be up in his business for not writing names when Youichi’s going around drawing vulgar things.
Youichi looks around cautiously before leaning in to whisper, “Haruichi’s a great worker and all, but he spends 5 minutes on one drink! He makes latte art. We’re a Starbucks, not some hipster hangout! Lattes don’t need hearts and leaves. The only thing lattes need to do is to trick people into thinking they can run a marathon.”
Someone strikes each of their heads with a hard tap and they turn around, clutching their head in pain. “We don’t pay you to gossip. Get to work.”
In particular, Youichi's cheeks turn red, and the rest of his face turns the same shade the more Ryousuke stares at him. Ryousuke hums.
“Yes, Ryou-san,” they both mumble, head bowing before hastily abandoning their argument and finally getting to the rest of the orders.
Deep in thought, Ryousuke squints (even more) and drums his fingers on his arms disapprovingly.
“We need to talk,” Ryousuke brings up to Chris, the store owner, over another cup of coffee, because working in a coffee shop does that to you--signs your life away to the coffee gods. It helps that workers are given a good discount to fuel this terrible obsession because who else would willingly sign their life away for this kind of hell. Ryousuke’s consumed so much coffee since working here, he’s developed an immunity to the bitterness that sugar and milk helped conceal. Now, he just takes his coffee black. Like your soul, Mei snickered one time, earning a slap to his head.
“Is it already time for our monthly meetings? I swear we just had one yesterday." Chris waves to a table of guys who greets him back enthusiastically.
"We've been having consecutive daily meetings these past two weeks, Chris," Ryousuke reminds him, clearly unimpressed.
"Oh, really? Then what are we doing here?"
Ryousuke breathes in and lets out a long, exhausted sigh. He almost thinks about never exhaling so he can leave this miserable life in peace. "Our workers are imbeciles, Chris. They're terrible. Our store’s average on Yelp is 1 and a half stars."
Chris blinks and covers his mouth in horror. "Do people have nothing better to do than to leave anonymous hate? The interwebs is giving too much power to the youth."
A couple of girls walk by giggling and Chris flashes them his 1000 watt smile, fingers pushing his hair back in one fluid motion. Everyone around them screams quietly and Chris gives his hair one last shake. The two curly fries hanging in front of his face bounce like his hair is made to star in some Pantene commercial.
Chris has the audacity to look bashful.
"Most comments are from registered users but that's not the point." Ryousuke rubs his temples. He's so tired. "If we don't do something about them," he gestures to Eijun currently in one of Jun's deathly headlocks, "headquarters is going to come and shut us down."
"Kyahaha! That's right, Jun-san, make Sawamura suffer for what he said!"
"I just said cake pops are too sweet!"
Jun growls, tightening his grip, "What? Are you saying you're above us mere mortals for not enjoying a delicacy like cake pops?!"
Eijun is wailing, arms desperately clawing at Jun's arm. "That's not what I meant at all!"
Chris leans back on his seat and laughs softly. "I don't think we need to worry, they're kind of fun to have around? If anything, I'll talk to them later but we should be fine."
With that, Chris bids farewell, waving to his legion of fangirls and fanboys. Ryousuke can't believe the only reason their Starbucks hasn't shut down yet is because Chris' presence brings in all their revenue.
Collecting all his thoughts, Ryousuke comes to a respectable decision. He’s going to avoid the eventual problem because he will not be here the day headquarters turns this place around. Ryousuke’s not going to let them humiliate him.
So, the next day, Ryousuke hands in his two weeks notice and quits the job merrily.
Starbucks
Location: Kokubunji, West Tokyo
Recommended Reviews:
Sanada S.
Suginami, West Tokyo
★★☆☆☆
“My fish could make better coffee. 0/10 would not recommend. The two stars is for the cutie in glasses with the great ass. Also, I’m not a fuck boy."
"Did you know someone left a review about your ass?" Youichi says casually, fingers scrolling through his phone in an attempt to humour himself. The store isn't busy; there's a few people hanging around in the booths but thankfully, it's been a slow day. "Also, I think he insulted your coffee making skills."
Kazuya leans over to read, body moulding into the shape of Youichi’s arched back and then shakes his head in disapproval. “I’m only worth two stars? My ass, at the very least, deserves a four. Besides, how do you know it was my coffee he was insulting?"
Sometimes, Youichi could really strangle him for being unreasonably cocky. Instead, Youichi rolls his eyes. "Oh, I don't know. Who else makes shitty coffee and wears glasses?"
Mei takes this opportunity to bounce into their conversation. "Who would want to date Kazuya? He's boring as fuck."
"How do you know?" Youichi asks suspiciously, fingers pausing on the screen of his phone. Something red flashes and it takes him a second to realize his fuck up. “Ah, shit--look what you made me do! I accidentally liked a picture of Ryou-san from a year ago!”
Kazuya and Mei ignore him freaking out.
Mei hums, starts twirling his hair, and checks his reflection out on the fridge. "We went on a date once. It was absolutely terrible. Kazuya was lame."
Kazuya silently screams and clenches his fist. "For the last time, it was not a date! You tricked me."
“I did no such thing. You were the one who offered,” Mei retorts as he walks over and hip checks* Kazuya to the side. “I should be the one ashamed for going on a date with you. Not the other way around.”
“You casually invited me to the movies and when I offered to buy us popcorn, you accused me of trying to ‘woo’ you.”
"Are we talking about how disappointing Miyuki is because I can attest to it," Ryousuke quips cheerfully, breezing past a shocked Mei and Youichi. It’s his last day of work and he can’t wait to leave this shit show behind.
"You--what? Hold on, did you bang our manager? You fucking did not, oh my god. Hold on, I need a minute to reel this in." There are tears falling out of Mei's eyes, and for once, they're not tears of sadness but rather Mei is laughing, so hard that he's clutching his side in pain.
Youichi doesn't find this funny one bit. Instead, he's glaring at Kazuya and mouthing at him from behind Ryousuke, how could you betray me like this you shit! He points to their friendship bracelet they weaved out of napkins one day, I'm gonna cut this the fuck off!
"It was a one time thing a long time ago," Kazuya explains, trying to get Youichi to calm down.
"I’ve also heard a few rave reviews about Miyuki, so consider my surprise when he turned out to be the worst experience I've ever had," Ryousuke comments ruthlessly, moving away to open another bag of milk.
Mei is howling with laughter and even Youichi recoils in pain for Miyuki’s pride. He goes to grab an ice pack from the freezer. "Do you need this to soothe your burn?"
"Fuck off."
Starbucks
Location: Kokubunji, West Tokyo
Recommended Reviews:
Matsubara, N.
Adachi, East Tokyo
★★★☆☆
“I’m more interested in the rumours. People say there’s a myth surrounding this Starbucks...”
Legend says there’s a monster who goes around and spits in people’s drinks for the cheap thrill when they’re not looking.
They call him “Spitz”.
No one in the Kokubunji Starbucks location can attest to the rumours. They're assholes in their own right but they would never destroy the integrity of their workplace, especially in such an uncivilized manner.
There's one person who gets caught up in the rumours though.
"Hey, Jun-san. You're 'Spitz' right?"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SPITZ?" Jun growls at the accusation, crushing the half-made drink in his hands. Foam starts pouring out and Jun swears as the hot liquid burns him.
Youichi raises both hands in the air to show he’s not hostile. "Sawamura said he saw you doing it!" Yes, that's right. Bring Eijun down with him. "I'm not grossed out, more curious than anything."
Surprisingly, the store is marginally busier today. There's a lineup that stretches out the door so everyone has been on their feet the entire day, not getting a single minute to rest. For Jun, it's seen as an unnecessary bother in his life. He wanted a job, not another reason to get angry. He likes when things are easy going because that means he’s not stressed out and a stress-free Jun is a happy Jun.
They’re understaffed today, and for some ungodly reason, Chris has Kazuya in charge of the register and taking orders. Kazuya’s ringing up another customer, handing the cup to Jun and Youichi to deal with, and of course, none of them have fucking names on them because Kazuya’s a lazy shithead who should be fired. Jun bites back a growl and tries to do his work diligently.
Just one more hour. One more hour.
However, it’s a tragedy some people like to make his life harder than it is.
“Excuse me? I asked for a tall green tea latte, soy, half sweet, with a shot of espresso but I got something else?”
Jun eyes the customer before snatching the cup angrily and dumps the content in the sink. “Oh, look at me, having a dumb ass complicated drink order because I like to make other people’s lives hard!”
“I’m right here?” the customer says in disbelief.
“Uh, Jun-san--”
“I’ll fucking show you one squirt of vanilla.”
"I said a shot of espresso--"
"Make that two squirts of vanilla."
At this point, he's making a scene--furiously pouring a bunch of random ingredients together Youichi is positive doesn't make up the customer's drink. Jun is also starting to spit in frustration, little droplets spewing out of his mouth like it's raining in one corner of the room, and Youichi recoils in disgust.
'Spitz' is real, Youichi notes to himself, and he’s manifested itself into an angry person.
Mei gives decaf to people he hates.
Perhaps hate is a strong word. More like Mei wants to see the people who wronged him burn in the slowest of ways.
He watches gleefully behind the coffee maker as Masatoshi yawns, rubbing his eyes wearily. The table is a little tiny for someone of Masatoshi’s build, strong shoulders and toned arms, but it’s not like Mei is staring or anything.
Mei does a weird laugh, the one that Kazuya tells him to stop doing because it sounds like a noise a goldfish would make which usually earns him a witty retort from Mei, ‘What? Do you live with the fishes, Kazuya? How do know what they sound like, you weirdo.’
“Bupupu. Look at him, Kazuya.”
“What did you do? Spike his drink with sleeping pills?” Kazuya asks. Masatoshi looks exhausted. They’ve made conversation a few times, enough to know Masatoshi has a couple of deadlines in the next week and Kazuya pities Masatoshi, being Mei’s victim of the week and everything.
“One time, he called me small. I figured Masa-san’s time was coming.” Mei flicks a piece of flint out from under his nails and stares happily at his clean nails.
Kazuya rolls his eyes, leaning back against the fridge with his arms crossed. “You’re so petty.”
“Am not!” Mei is offended, and when that happens, he blindly picks fights with people who are taller than him. In this case, Mei reaches over to choke Kazuya.
“Mei—Let go!” They knock multiple spoons and cups off the table and it clangs loudly on the floor.
Mei’s growling, “Take it back!”
There’s a loud ‘ahem’ that snaps them back to reality and when they glance up, Masatoshi is at the counter with his wallet tucked safely under his arms.
Immediately, Mei releases his grasp on the taller and chooses to cower in fear behind him. Kazuya sighs. “Hello, what can I get you?”
“I ordered three venti coffee but I’m still tired. I don’t understand.”
“Oh,” Kazuya says apologetically, feeling Mei’s grip on his shirt tighten, “would you like to buy another cup?”
“Maybe you should buy another two cups because three wasn’t enough to circulate itself around your entire body! Since you’re so big! And scary! Those perfectly toned muscles can’t even be real!” Mei sticks out his tongue because apparently, he’s the most mature out of all of them.
Kazuya elbows his face aside. “Did you just inadvertently compliment him?”
Mei continues to ramble on shamelessly, “Maybe you should bench press me. You know, so I can calculate how much caffeine you actually really need and all.”
“Mei, shut up,” Kazuya scolds and turns back to give Masatoshi a winning smile.
“Look, the only thing I need is your strongest coffee.”
Mei extracts himself from Kazuya with an evil smile. “I’ll make it!”
Kazuya grabs a hold of Mei’s collar while ringing Masatoshi’s order. “Yup. I’ll get right to it.”
Starbucks
Location: Kokubunji, West Tokyo
Recommended Reviews:
Harada, M.
Hachioji, East Tokyo
★☆☆☆☆
“Fire your pipsqueak. I leave this place feeling more tired than usual.”
“Pssst.”
Youichi ignores the noise, too concentrated on drawing what he thinks is his next masterpiece. With the change of season, Starbucks has just switched over to its holiday cups; meaning they’re all a tacky Christmas-coloured red and in no way does it compliment his blue-coloured sharpie. Having not worked here for long, Youichi has to adjust to the difference in colour because blue doesn’t show up well against a deep red. He chooses a nice black sharpie.
It’s taken awhile to master the transition but, he thinks, this is it. His magnum opus.
“Pssssttt, beHIND YOU. PSSSSSTT KURAMOCHI-SENPAI.”
Groaning, Youichi turns around to address the figure in front of the staff room. “What. I’m busy, can’t you see?” He waves the cup in exaggeration.
Frowning, he looks closer at Eijun who is sweating profusely, looking like he’s just seen a ghost. “Yes, I understand but I need your help with a little….something….”
“Not interested.” Youichi dismisses with a flick of his wrist, returning to doodle on the cup. He starts cross-hatching to add depth to the drawing. Ah, yes. Now it's really starting to take off.
Unfortunately, being around Eijun means he doesn’t actually get the peace and quiet he wants because the next second, Eijun runs straight into him, flailing. The felt part of the pen collides into the cup and Youichi stares in horror at his artwork, now streaked with a thick black line.
“You,” he spits out as seethingly cold as possible, grabbing Eijun by the collar and hoisting him up. “I was ready to quit this job and become a respectable artist with this piece! Now my dreams are ruined.”
Eijun starts chuckling nervously and desperately tries to loosen Youichi's metal grip. “Let’s focus on more important issues like what’s going on behind the staff doors!”
Narrowing his eyebrows, Youichi warns threateningly, “You should be more worried about what I’m going to do with you than what’s behind that door.”
“Hahahahah okay that’s fine but seriously--” Eijun grunts and starts tugging himself backwards so Youichi’s forced to move along, “--we need to fix what’s beyond that door.”
They’re now standing outside the staff doors and Youichi feels himself sweating as well. He squints real hard at Eijun, who only cowers in fear. “What did you do.”
“Well, you see, since we have the store decorated for the holidays, I thought it would be fun to decorate the staff room as well while I was on break. You know, being the kind, noble person I am and everything! Except I think I overestimated myself and then one thing led to another and--”
“Cut to the chase! I don’t have time for this,” Youichi interrupts angrily, pushing Eijun aside to open the door. What he sees makes him drop his pen.
The sprinkler comes on and Youichi’s hair, laced with product, starts sagging sadly against his forehead. So much for styling it today.
“Right. The couch is on fire.”
He walks in through the door with a cup of coffee from a Starbucks two blocks down the road.
Ryousuke takes a long, hearty sip from his mug. It’s terribly bitter today, but that’s to be expected of black coffee.
He doesn’t remember exactly when his preference switched, but Ryousuke assumed it was when he started working at this Starbucks a few years ago. At first, he drank it mostly as a means to become so incredibly focused during work, and by extension, able to ignore the shit show in front of him.
Old habits die hard, he thinks to himself as he takes another sip, fingers furiously typing away on his laptop. It’s unfortunate that he can’t seem to enjoy sweeter things but Ryousuke doesn’t mind too much.
The only person who does mind is Haruichi. His younger brother has continuously expressed unhappiness because he wasn’t able to make drinks for Ryousuke, seeing that latte art requires milk to some degree. However, Ryousuke tells him not to worry about and to focus on the needs of other customers, much to Haruichi’s disappointment.
Just then, Chris approaches his table and sits down with a dejected sigh.
Ryousuke grins, that little sly grin he does when he knows exactly what’s happening. After all, he did predict this a few weeks ago. “How did it go?”
Massaging his temples, Chris says, “Kuramochi managed to put out the fire in time. I didn’t even know when he learned to use a fire extinguisher, but thankfully, the place is saved. The couch is a different story.”
“That’s a shame. I quite liked that couch. And Sawamura?”
"I put him on time out and now he's weeping in a corner." Chris runs his fingers through his locks. There are dark bags under his eyes and Ryousuke almost feels a little bad that Chris has to deal with it himself. “Are you sure you don’t want to come back? We could really use you.”
Ryousuke chuckles lightly at the offer before closing his laptop. “And give up this source of free entertainment? I don’t know why I didn’t do this earlier.”
He warned them out of the goodness in his own heart. And now, Kokubunji’s Starbucks is suffering and he can only laugh at how real his prediction came out to be.
Ryousuke’s having a wonderful time watching this establishment crumble. And the best part of it is that he isn’t the least bit involved.
Starbucks
Location: Kokubunji, West Tokyo
Recommended Reviews:
K. R.
Kokubunji, West Tokyo
★★★★☆
“The coffee is bland, chunks of ice are always left in the frappuccinos, and I walk away with my name spelled differently in various letters, numbers and symbols all the time. But the people? They’re fools, most definitely. But they can surprise you in many ways. You’re never going to meet another interesting group like them again.”