Work Text:
Yuè Qīngyuán died in seclusion.
He didn’t mean to, it should be noted. He meant to get better, recover, he meant to make it through this trial and return to lead his sect to his best ability. He meant to stand aside and watch as Xiǎo Jiǔ moved on and ensure his happiness as best as Yuè Qīngyuán could from the outside.
Yuè Qīngyuán was used to loneliness, of being surrounded by people and yet be utterly alone, but alone in the caves, in this cave, yet again? Yuè Qīngyuán broke.
Yuè Qīngyuán qì deviated.
He thought it should hurt more than it did, but he only swam on red waves of sharp, cold tides. He felt numb, the hottest burn at the place where his Shīzūn had tide his very soul to Xuánsù, and the sword spirit tried to pull him back, keep him in place.
Yuè Qīngyuán drifted away, and felt relieved.
Instead of darkness, or any predicted expectation of afterlife, there was only the lesser darkness of closed eyes.
Then light.
[Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations! Important things should be said three times!]
Yuè Qīngyuán was told that he was being given a second chance, for the entertainment of this creature that Yuè Qīngyuán was wary of labelling a heavenly messenger, but there was little other evidence of what it could be.
When he woke up, it was so the third worst day of his life, the day he reunited with Xiǎo Jiǔ and lost him at the same time.
Xiǎo Jiǔ killed the demonic cultivator. Xiǎo Jiǔ killed Wú Yànzi, to save Yuè Qīngyuán, and Yuè Qīngyuán couldn’t help but sink to his knees to see Xiǎo Jiǔ, his Xiǎo Jiǔ again, and Yuè Qīngyuán was no longer numb.
He was pain. From the hot tears pouring down his face, to the heart beating wildly in his chest, Yuè Qīngyuán hurt and it was glorious.
Xiǎo Jiǔ tossed his weapon away and approached Yuè Qīngyuán carefully. Slowly, Xiǎo Jiǔ held his face and wiped Yuè Qīngyuán’s tears away. “What’s this for, Qī-gē, hm? Why are you crying now that you’re safe?”
Yuè Qīngyuán took a shuddering breath. “You’re alive. Xiǎo Jiǔ is alive!”
Xiǎo Jiǔ blinked down at him before kneeling in front of him and rubbed at this shoulders. “Of course I’m alive, Qī-gē, I would never give up until I returned to you.”
Yuè Qīngyuán threw his arms around Xiǎo Jiǔ and pulled him in. “I was supposed to come back to you. I was supposed to come back for you and save you.”
Xiǎo Jiǔ’s arms tightened around him like constricting bands and he shuddered in Yuè Qīngyuán’s arm. “I don’t need you to save me anymore, Qī-gē. I need you to have my back and stand by my side.”
Yuè Qīngyuán pulled back just enough to look Xiǎo Jiǔ in the eye. Xiǎo Jiǔ’s eyes were red but clear and he looked determined.
“I need you to tell me when I’m wrong, too, Qī-gē,” Xiǎo Jiǔ confessed softly. “I know… I know I’ve done things, bad things, things I’ve justified to myself but—”
“I lost you,” Yuè Qīngyuán told him. “Standing in front of what was left of that house… Having you with me is a miracle. All I can promise is that I’ll try, Xiǎo Jiǔ.”
Xiǎo Jiǔ pressed their foreheads together and nodded, their noses brushed, and Yuè Qīngyuán pressed forward lightly to plant a soft kiss on Xiǎo Jiǔ’s cheek.
“We’ll both try,” Xiǎo Jiǔ agreed.