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Kaidou Shun is a mess. No one would argue about that, not even his friends. It’s just part of him at this point. Despite the bullying, a strict mom, and feeling inferior to literally everyone, he always managed to bounce back. The Jet-Black Wings, as he referred to himself, always bounces back. But even The Jet-Black Wings burns out eventually…
That brings it to today, 5:30 in the morning. Kaidou stares at his bare arms. He caused more damage than he should have last night. He knows that, but it was a hard day. His grades keep dropping no matter how hard he tries. He blames it on the fact that anytime there’s an assignment or test he gets a panic attack. It never used to be like that. He doesn’t know what changed. He guesses he did, his problem is always himself. His phone vibrates with a text and he picks it up, secretly hoping it was Aren. He grins as he sees the purple-haired boy’s name on the screen.
Aren: You wanna head to school early? We can stop and get breakfast 🫢
Shun: Hell yeah! Our place?
Aren: Ofc! See you at 7:30?
Shun: It's a date
Aren: Only if you want it to be ;)
Shun laughs at Aren’s response. There is a part deep down that wishes it was true. He’s been into Aren since he got here, but he knows Aren would never go for him. That’s okay, though. He’s happy as long as he can be his best friend. Kaidou decides to get ready and sneak out so he doesn’t have to see his mom. He throws on his uniform, runs a comb through his hair, and meticulously puts his bandages on so that nothing is showing. As he leaves the house, locking the door behind him, it’s now 6:30. He’s going to be early but he doesn’t really care. That’s one of the few qualities he can stand about himself, he’s good at waiting. The extreme daydreaming he does has saved him more times than he can count.
He takes his time as he walks, humming along with the song blasting through his headphones. It’s going to be a nice day. He at least has that to look forward to. Nice days feel a little better than cloudy days. Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath; maybe things will be okay today. He feels a pair of hands clap down on his shoulders and immediately drops to the ground. Shaking, he looks up and finds Aren doubled over laughing.
“Aren! What the hell?!’ He shouts, pulling his headphones down around his neck.
“Sorry Shun, you seemed really in your head and I couldn’t stop myself.”
“Hardy-Har-Har,” Kaidou rolls his eyes. Aren offers him a hand up and he gladly takes it. Aren pulls him to his feet easily.
“You’re early, “ He comments. “Everything good?”
Kaidou smiles a little. It’s nice to know he cares but he can’t help but feel a little guilty that he worries. “Yeah! Everything’s good!”
“Good!” Aren smiles softly. “Our place isn’t open yet so do you want to take the long way through the park?”
“Sounds good,” Kaidou nods.
The two boys walk to the park, chatting about their evenings. It’s light-hearted and Kaidou feels a little better and brighter about everything. Aren has that effect on him. He makes Kaidou feel like a person, not a problem. They make it to the cafe that they call their place right as it opens and after ordering their food, sit at their usual table by the window.
“Your mom made you do cram work even after you went to cram school and got home super late?” Aren raises his eyebrow. He has a disdain for Kaidou’s mother which makes Kaidou anxious.
“Yeah,” Kaidou shrugs. “I mean it's nothing new.”
“You ever heard of burn-out?”
“Yep! Surprisingly I’m not allowed to have it.” Kaidou jokes. Aren doesn’t laugh, instead, he leans closer to Kaidou with a serious expression.
“Shun, you’re allowed to take a break. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how exhausted you are.”
“Aren,” Kaidou sighs. “I appreciate the concern, I’m alright. I’m used to this kind of schedule.”
“Being used to it doesn’t matter. You can only run on empty for so long”
Kaidou looks down at his uneaten food. “I can’t really do anything about it.”
Aren leans back, watching Kaidou. “I can talk to her for you.”
“What?!” Kaidou says entirely too loud, earning him puzzled looks from other patrons. He flushes, a bit embarrassed.
“I’ll talk to her for you. Get her to lay off.”
“Thanks but I think that’d make everything worse…”
“No harm in trying,” Aren shrugs.
“The harm is my mom knowing I talk shit about her and because of that increasing the workload, then because of THAT making my life a living hell.” Kaidou takes a deep breath, grounding himself. “I really shouldn’t complain. She works really hard for me and my siblings. It’s the least I can do for her, make her proud.”
Aren studies his best friend’s face for a minute. “Okay,” He relents. “I understand where you’re coming from. Just…talk to her about easing up a bit? If not for you then for me.”
“Okay. I can do that.”
“Promise?” Aren asks.
“Pro-” Kaidou is cut off by someone pounding on the window.
“HEY, BUDDIES!” Nendo shouts waving at them. Saiki continues walking without him. Nendo notices this and grabs Saiki, dragging him into the cafe.
“Hey, guys!” Kaidou greets them.
Aren checks the time. “We should head to school. Guess we’re all walking together?”
Nendo looks at Kaidou’s plate. “Are you going to finish that, Little Buddy?”
Kaidou looks down at the nearly untouched plate of food. He hasn’t been that hungry lately. “No, I gu-” Before he can finish his sentence, Nendo has finished the plate.
“Alright then, guess we can go!” Kaidou hops up, grabbing his bag. Aren frowns at him but doesn’t say anything. Saiki stares as well, making Kaidou uncomfortable. He rushes out to get away from the situation. The others follow suit.
The four boys walk to school just as lively (aside from Saiki) as every day. This is the part of his day that Kaidou likes the best. It’s so far away from the hours of homework he will be doing later that he can almost completely focus on the moment. He can laugh loud with his friends and pretend to be a normal teenager, even if it is only for a few minutes. Too bad school has to ruin it. As soon as they step through the gates of PK Academy he feels sick. Saiki side-eyes him curiously. As they enter, Kaidou tunes out the chattering voices all around him, zeroing in on the task of changing his shoes. He follows his friends up to the classroom. Aren grabs his shoulder and gently holds him back.
“You good? You’re really tense.” He asks quietly.
“Yeah…I’ve just been getting nervous about school.”
“You don’t have to be! You’re the smartest person I know.”
“Thanks,” Kaidou says. ‘ If you could see my grades you wouldn’t be saying that.’ He adds in his head.
“Let’s go in,” Aren gives Kaidou’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Kaidou nods and lets Aren guide him into the classroom. He sits down at his desk and takes a few breaths.
‘ All I have to do is pay attention and take notes.’ He thinks. ‘It's not that hard, I’ve done it before.’
Easier said than done.
It’s finally time for lunch and Kaidou’s brain feels like mush.
“Mr. Kaidou, could you come with me?” The teacher asks. Kaidou immediately feels a pit in his stomach. This can’t be good. He gets up and follows her out of the room and to the office.
“Have a seat,” She gestures for him to pull out a chair. He does as he is told. “From your silence, I assume you know what this is about?”
Kaidou nods. It’s all he can get himself to do.
“I’m very disappointed in you. Your grades have been slipping for months. I have warned you multiple times and each time you promise you’ll do better.” She lectures. “I’m not seeing any effort here. You used to be such a gifted, intelligent kid…Now I’m wondering if that was just luck.”
Those words sting Kaidou. He has been wondering the same thing. Was past intelligence just sheer luck? Or did he somehow get stupider the older he got? His hands start shaking and he can feel tears pricking behind his eyes.
“This is your last shot before we get your mom involved. I know how tough she is on you, but maybe that’s what you need to continue your education.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am. I will try harder than I have before.” His voice sounds strained.
“We’ll see. Let me know if you need help or resources on your work.”
Kaidou stands and bows quickly before quickly leaving the office. Once in the hallway, he bolts, not noticing that his friends had been waiting for him outside the office.
“Shun!” Aren calls, running after him.
“Wow! You’re showing so much initiative!” Hairo joins in the chase not realizing the entirety of the situation.
“Wait up, Little Buddy! You haven’t eaten lunch!” Nendo follows the others. Saiki turns and heads back into the classroom.
Kaidou runs faster than he ever has before. So fast that not even Hairo is keeping up. He runs across the whole school and into the last bathroom he can find, nearly hitting the wall as he goes into the last stall and locks the door.
“He must have really had to go.” Nendo comments as the group finally makes it to the bathroom.
“You guys should wait-” Aren starts, trying to avoid overstimulating Shun but before he can Nendo barges past him and into the bathroom.
“Hey Buddy, you feeling okay?” He knocks on each stall until he finds the one that’s locked. “You left pretty fast!”
Hairo follows in. “It was very impressive, Kaidou! I have never seen anyone move that fast!”
Aren wishes he could have left the other two out, but they don’t listen very well. He walks over to the stall and leans his ear to the door to see if he can hear anything. He can hear Kaidou struggling to catch his breath, it coming out uneven and jagged. He’s having a panic attack…Aren hates when Shun has to go through this. His concern grows more when he hears gagging and retching.
“Should I get the nurse?!” Hairo asks worriedly.
“No!” Aren speaks up quickly. “Um, why don’t you guys enjoy the rest of your break? I’ll stay with Shun.”
Hairo looks at the stall as a gag is heard from the other side. “Uh…Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I’ve got this.” Aren starts guiding them out the door. “And don’t tell anyone. He just needs space right now.” Before waiting for any more of a response he shuts and locks the door.
“Shun, it’s just you and me now. Can you unlock the door?” Aren asks softly.
Kaidou hears Aren but feels a little ashamed of the state he’s in right now. This is one of the worst panic attacks he’s ever had. He’s never gotten physically sick from one and he isn’t enjoying it. His breath catches in his throat as he tries to get enough air to speak.
“D-Don’t wor-worry,” Is all he can muster.
“Shun, if you don’t unlock the door I’m going to climb under,” Aren replies firmly.
Kaidou drops his head into his hands. He can’t have Aren doing that for him, that’d be too embarrassing. He reaches up with a shaky hand and fumbles with the lock. After a few tries he finally manages to unlock it. Aren is by his side immediately.
“What happened?!” He asks, trying to get his friend to look up at him. With no avail, he finally grabs Kaidou’s tear-stained face in both of his hands finally forcing him to look up.
“You need to breathe. You’re okay.” Aren tries to soothe him. “In….Out….” He breathes for Kaidou to mimic him. It takes a while but Kaidou finally gets his breathing under control enough to speak. Aren, still with his hands on his friend’s cheeks, wipes away a stray tear with his thumb. He finally lets go and sits back.
“Are you able to talk now?”
Kaidou nods. “ There’s something I h-haven’t told you.”
Aren looks a little alarmed. They tell each other everything! Why was Shun hiding something? “What is it?”
“I’m,” Kaidou starts to choke up a little bit again. He takes a second to ground himself. “I’m flunking…everything.”
Aren stares at him in disbelief. He must not have heard right. Kaidou Shun? Flunking? No way! But as he watches the blue-haired boy break down again he knows it has to be true. He has a lot of questions, but right now he has to be here for Shun. Without another word, Aren pulls Kaidou into a tight hug. Kaidou immediately grabs onto Aren as sobs rock his body.
“It’s going to be okay, Shun…” He murmurs, running his fingers through Kaidou’s hair.
“It’s n-not!” Kaidou exclaims. “I-I do everything I can to get good gra-grades but it's-stopped working. Aren, I’m scared! I have one more chance before they call my…my mom.”
Aren cringes at that. He can’t imagine the kind of trouble Shun will get into if his mom finds out. He can’t let that happen.
“We’ll get through this together, okay? I’ll help you.” Aren states.
“Aren,” Kaidou sighs. “You don’t have to get involved in this.”
“Of course I do! I don’t want my best friend to be confined to his house doing homework all of the time. Plus, if I help you then we get to hang out more!”
Kaidou is silent then looks up at Aren. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Aren smiles softly. “You would be just fine. After all, you are The Jet-Black Wings!”
“Yes! That was just a momentary lapse of weakness! Luckily my sworn friend was here to save me!”
Aren laughs. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and head back to class. If we want to get that grade up, we can’t miss anything.”
Kaidou nods and accepts Aren’s help in standing up. He can finally breathe but he doesn’t feel that much better. The words still ring around in his head: “You used to be such a gifted, intelligent kid…Now I’m wondering if that was just luck.” . Was his early success just a fluke? What if he can never amount to what he used to be? He decides he has to get his life together or else everything is going to fall apart.
The rest of the day passes in a blur. Kaidou can barely keep his eyes open, feeling completely drained from his breakdown earlier. As soon as the bell rings he’s out the door. He wants to avoid the question and concerned stares his friends have been shooting him. He leaves through a different entrance from the main one and escapes without being seen. He pulls out his phone and shoots Aren a quick text.
Shun: Sorry for running out! I have to pick up Toki and then go to the store to get stuff for dinner
Aren: >:[
Aren: I would’ve gone with you! We’re supposed to work on hw.
Shun: Can we start tomorrow? I'm really exhausted after today.
Aren: Alright, new plan. I'll go to the store and you pick up Toki. We'll meet at your place.
Shun: Aren, you don't have to do that.
Aren: No arguments! Now give me a list and I'll see you soon.
Kaidou knows that there is no arguing with Aren at this point so he begrudgingly sends the list.
Shun: Thanks. See you at home.
He sighs as he comes up to the elementary school. It hasn’t let out yet, so he sits back against the fence. Staring at the old elementary school brings up bad memories. He prays that Toki is having a better time. He has tried his best to be a good role model for his little brother. He’s trying to be what he needed when he was Toki’s age. He knows he can’t live up to that, though. Toki needs to look up to someone like Aren. Kaidou could have really used Aren when he was a kid. The doors to the school finally open and kids began running out, excited about being let loose into the world. Kaidou straightens himself up and puts a smile on his face as he sees his little brother running towards him.
“Shun!” He shouts as he jumps into Kaidou’s arms. Kaidou cringes slightly as he hits one of his fresh cuts but quickly plays it off and chuckles.
“How was school?” He asks, setting Toki back down on his feet.
“It was so good!” Toki exclaims excitedly, grabbing his big brother’s hand as they begin to walk home. He starts rambling about some game he and his friends had been playing. Kaidou tries his best to listen, but he keeps zoning out. He thinks back to the meeting earlier.
“Shun!” Toki is suddenly shaking his arm. “We’re home, don't you have the key?”
Kaidou looks at the front door. He can’t even remember walking up to it. Before he can answer, footsteps walk up the steps behind them. Toki turns and immediately runs to the new arrival.
“Kuboyasu! I didn’t know you were coming over! Ooo, what did you get?”
Aren laughs a little and begins talking to Toki. Kaidou opens the door and lets the other two boys in.
“Toki, go change so you don’t get your uniform dirty, okay?” He says to his little brother as he shuts the door behind them.
“Aye, aye Captain Shun!” Toki salutes him and then runs away to his room.
“You can go change too, I’ll start dinner.” Aren offers.
“You don’t have to cook!” Kaidou exclaims.
“I know, but I want to. Since you're tired we don’t have to start homework tonight.”
“But-”
“No buts! Remember what I said about burn-out?”
Kaidou shuts his mouth. He knows there is no way Aren is letting him get out of this. He quickly heads upstairs to his room to change clothes. He locks his door behind him so that nobody else can get in. He takes off his shirt and looks down at his bandages. Slowly, he begins to unfurl them. They stick to his skin in some places due to the dried blood. He cringes as he pulls off the last bit. His arms could use a wash, but he doesn’t want to risk anyone seeing him so he opts to wear a shirt with long sleeves. He puts his bandages in his hamper and leaves his room.
He finds Toki and Aren talking and laughing while Aren cooks. It’s a cute sight and he can’t help but smile a little.
“Shun! Can we watch something after dinner?” Toki asks his brother hopefully, running up to the older boy. Kaidou thinks for a second. Their mom should be home later tonight so they have a couple of hours.
“Yeah, sure!” He smiles at Toki who starts jumping up and down with excitement. Kaidou moves so he’s standing next to Aren at the stove. “Need any help?”
“Sure, you want to cut the vegetables?” Aren replies, glancing at Kaidou.
“Yep! You know how good I am with knives,” He cracks his knuckles theatrically as he goes to get a cutting board out.
“In more ways than one,” Sora suddenly appears in the kitchen doorway. Kaidou freezes. Does she know? How would she know?
“Sora! Shun, Koboyasu and I are watching a movie after dinner! Do you want to too?!” Toki runs over to the girl.
“I have homework.” She states plainly. “You do too, Shun. This is why you are falling behind.”
“I know…” Kaidou sets up the vegetable cutting station and begins working.
“Mom won’t be happy,” Sora adds.
“Good thing your mom won’t find out,” Aren intervenes, smiling at Sora with a threatening aura.
Sora raises an eyebrow at Aren, unfazed by the ex-delinquent. “I’m going back to work. Keep it down.” With that, she disappears from the kitchen.
“Always such a ray of fucking sunshine,” Aren mutters.
Toki gasps. “Shun, he said the fuck word!”
“Toki! Don’t say that word!” Kaidou scolds. Aren tries to suppress his laughter.
Toki claps his hand over his mouth. “Don’t tell Mom!”
“Don’t worry, I won’t. Just don’t say that again, okay?” Shun gets to Toki’s eye level.
The little boy nods. “I won’t, I promise.”
****
As the boys ate, they watched a movie that Toki picked out. Aren took care of the dishes and as he re-enters the room, he notices both Shun and Toki have fallen asleep. He smiles at the two. Grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch, he places it over the brothers. He sits down next to Kaidou, putting his arm over the back of the couch. He looks down at Kaidou. It’s been awhile since he’s seen his best friend look so relaxed. Kaidou breathes deeply and shifts so his head is resting on Aren’s shoulder. Aren moves his arm down around Kaidou’s shoulders and pulls him closer.
“Koboyasu,” Sora whispers from the doorway causing Aren to jump a little. “Our mom is going to be home soon. You should probably go.”
Aren nods. He knows if Mrs. Kaidou finds him here distracting Shun from work she will be very mad. “I’ll take him to bed and leave.” He says to Sora. He begins slowly and gently getting up so that he doesn’t wake Kaidou. He stands up and places a hand under Kaidou’s legs and one under his neck. Aren notes how light Kaidou is. He hasn’t lifted his best friend up much, but he is positive the blue haired boy has lost some weight. Kaidou shifts slightly once in Aren’s arms and rests his head on the taller boy’s chest.
“Koboyasu?” Sora speaks softly. Aren turns to the girl.
“Thank you for watching out for him.”
“I’ll always look out for him,” Aren smiles softly at the boy in his arms. Sora smiles a little and starts getting Toki up for bed. Aren carries Kaidou to his room and lays him down on his bed. He grabs a blanket and tucks him in snuggly. He kneels down, brushing some hair out of his friend's face.
“Goodnight Shun,” He whispers softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He gets up, walking to the door. He takes one last look at Kaidou before shutting off the light at softly closing the door behind him.