Chapter Text
The whirring sounds of the helicopter blades kept Numa awake as he was taken from the wreckage of the plane that had been his home and sanctuary for the past two and a half months. He could no longer see any remnants of flight 571, and Numa wondered if he should feel relieved.
All Numa felt was dead, even with Carlitos Páez squeezed against his side in comfort, and Pancho’s hand holding him tightly. As Numa’s eyes met Fito’s, he knew that he was not the one who felt this way, as though he was truly dead and something was causing his corpse to see and walk. They were walking around like marionette's before their strings were cut. Fito was the first one to break eye-contact, as he always was when meeting Numa’s dark stare.
Numa loved Fito, as he loved all the men, but there were some things he could not forget, and he would never forget watching Fito and his cousins carve up the bodies of their fallen friends.
“Carlitos,” Numa whispered, loud enough for the boy to hear. “Are you alright?”
Numa could feel Carlitos nod from where his head wrested against the law student’s arm.
“Good,” he muttered. “I’m glad.”
As they always did, Numa’s thoughts drifted to Nando. The man was in the other helicopter with the rest of the survivors, and after 10 long days of waiting at the crash site, Numa had thought there would be more to their reunion than Nando helping Daniel Fernandez and Pancho carry him to one of the helicopters.
Over the loud commotion, Numa had been filled with so much relief, both at the sight of the rescue team and Nando, who had made it. Numa had never doubted it, not even for a second.
In his euphoria and through the pain that seared his leg, Numa had uttered “ I love you, ” to Nando.
The other man had said nothing.
Numa could tell himself that the noise was too loud, and the helicopter blades caused the wind to pick up, but the look on Pancho’s face cut through the delusion like a knife. His best friend had heard, and Numa had a feeling that Daniel had too. Daniel had not said anything, but he had hiked Numa closer to his body, as though to shield him.
He felt as though his heart had been ripped from his chest.
What did I think he would say? Numa thought. That he would embrace me and give me a kiss? There were cameras everywhere, and we are Catholic.
The law student shivered from a cold that was no longer there. He pressed his cheek against the top of Carlitos’ head, and tried to take comfort in the fact that he would see his parents and siblings once again.
When Numa had imagined returning to Montevideo, he had not expected the flashing lights of cameras or strangers grasping at his body and clothes. As overwhelmed as he was, Numa had done all he could to help the younger boys. He had pulled Carlitos close to himself, and placed a hand on Roberto’s shoulders, all the while knowing that Daniel and Pancho were hovering behind him.
Both men knew that the infection on his leg was bad, and that with all the bodies surrounding him, it was likely Numa would stumble and fall, the weight on his leg too much to bear.
The doctors and nurses would not even let his family see him. Numa had only been able to see his older brother when he had arrived in Chile, the other members of his family having stayed in Montevideo. For the first time, Numa had cried when he saw Daniel Turcatti, and his brother had cried too, pulling Numa against his body, gentle and firm in his hold.
When Numa had been placed in a private hospital room, he had heard his twin brother, Leonard arguing with one of the doctors outside, but there was nothing Numa could do. He barely had enough strength to talk.
One of the doctors had stated that Numa would see his family within the week, but it was an eternity to him. Numa didn’t know if any of the other survivors had seen their families yet, either.
All Numa could think about were his parents and siblings, Nando, Roberto, everyone who died, and everyone who survived.
The door to his hospital room opened suddenly, and Numa found himself looking at Pancho.
“The doctors don’t know I’m here,” Pancho told him. “So don’t start screaming, okay?”
Despite himself, Numa smiled a little.
Pancho came closer to him, eventually taking a seat on the small hospital bed.
“You’re my best friend, Numa. We’re all each other has.” The man said. “You can tell me anything, I won’t ever judge you, or leave your side.”
Numa knew what he was talking about.
“Do you think he heard?”
Pancho paused for a moment, his eyes downcast. “I don’t know.”
“I pray to God that he didn’t.” Numa said. “I would rather that than anything else. What was I thinking ?”
“No matter the form, I don’t think love could ever be wrong. If Nando doesn’t love you, there is no one to blame, not him, and certainly not you. We can’t pick and choose, on the mountain I realised that.”
Numa clenched his jaw, and pressed his lips together.
“You’re going to make me cry.”
“Then cry, Numa.” Pancho whispered. “Cry with me.”
So Numa cried.