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You don't normally do blind dates, but a) it's a favor for a friend of a friend and b) it's not quite blind, as said friend did show you a photo he got from said friend of friend and, well. At least you knew the guy was eye candy, even if you knew nothing else about him.
And so far, he has lived up to that part of the bargain! There was no mistaking Lan Wangji when you walked in, even in the low light of the restaurant—those cheekbones, that jawline, that hair. He's wearing a button-down so you can't see the biceps that were on display in the short-sleeved tee he'd been wearing in the photo, but now and then you get the suggestion of their outline when he moves.
You start out the night wondering if maybe you'll get to experience those biceps holding you down later, but...
He's very polite when you arrive, pulling out your chair like a perfect gentleman. He asks what you do for a living as you peruse the menu, and then tells you that he teaches music theory at the nearby conservatory.
"That's so cool!" you say, trying to hide the fact that you're suddenly worried your job isn't cool enough for him. Though when you ask how he likes it, his tone is as detached as it has been since you sat down. You're not sure if he's bored by you, or bored by his job. Or both? Or maybe he's just the type of person who doesn't modulate his tone much. Or his facial expressions.
You give him a flirtatious grin. "So, tell me about the most difficult student you've had."
He looks up from his menu, making eye contact for the first time since you sat down, and blinks at you before lowering his eyes again.
"It is inappropriate to gossip about my students," he says blandly to his menu.
You sit up straight again, not sure what to say. You finally settle on "...Fair enough."
Silence stretches awkwardly as you look at your menu—but when you glance up at Lan Wangji, there's nothing in his posture or expression that indicates awkwardness on his end. Maybe you're overthinking things. Maybe he's not actually judging you for asking an invasive question. Maybe he's already forgotten about it because he's so absorbed in choosing his meal!
"So... what else do you do?" you ask, desperate to get the conversation back on good footing. "Y'know, when you're not working."
"I play guqin," he says, "and give private lessons."
"Oh wow, so you're just a musician all around, huh?" It's hard to keep up a cheerful tone in the face of his stone face and monotone answers, and when he just nods once and doesn't volunteer any more information you give up.
Thankfully, the waiter appears then and takes your orders.
"Anything to drink?" he asks as he takes your menus. "Perhaps a bottle for the table?"
You raise your eyebrows at Lan Wangji hopefully. "I do not drink," he says, though there's no judgment in his tone. (There still isn't much of anything in his tone.) "If you would like a glass, go ahead."
You would, in fact, like a glass. It's looking like all this guy has to offer is his looks, so at least you want a free drink out of this.
You mentally fish around for the name of the friend-of-a-friend who was so eager to get this guy a date (which you are starting to understand). "So... how do you know Huaisang?"
"Our older brothers are..." He fidgets for the first time since you sat down, his thumb tapping against his glass of water. "I believe the phrase Wei Ying used was 'in a long-term situationship'."
Your eyebrows fly up. "Ohhhh, oh my."
"We also went to high school together, though Xichen and Mingjue were only friends at that point. I didn't know Huaisang well until their relationship shifted."
As much as it feels like this older brother thing has some very juicy stories to be told, you're not sure Lan Wangji would be willing to spill the tea or able to do it justice. "Who's Wei Ying?" you ask instead.
Lan Wangji swallows. "He is my..." He pauses. "Roommate," he finally finishes. You're not sure why that was such a hard question. Then he corrects himself. "Best friend. Wei Ying is my. Best friend."
"Ah, cool."
"How do you know Huaisang?" he asks, though it's obvious that he's asking because he knows that reciprocating is the polite thing to do, not because he cares.
"Oh, I don't, really," you say with an apologetic smile. "I've only met him once or twice. He told my friend Jeremy he was looking for someone to set you up with, and I guess from what he said, Jeremy thought we might get along? So he gave Huaisang my number."
Lan Wangji narrows his eyes. "He was looking for someone to set me up with?"
Uh-oh. You have the sudden feeling that you've stepped in something you weren't supposed to. "That's, um. That's what Jeremy told me? I don't know, he could have gotten it wrong?" You're not really sure what he could have gotten wrong about the situation—you've known Jeremy a long time, you're sure he would've told you if he'd been the one to suggest this first.
His eyes barely flicker, but it gives the distinct impression that he's rolled them even though you're pretty sure he didn't. "Huaisang swore to me that you were the one who was devastated about a breakup and in 'desperate need' of a date," he explains. "I was not particularly looking to date at all. I'm only here as a favor to him, because he took care of my rabbits while I was out of town last summer."
You open your mouth, but you're not even sure which of these revelations to respond to first. "Um." You scramble to get your thoughts in order. "Okay, first of all, I am definitely not in desperate need of a date," you inform him. "Yes, I just got out of a two-year relationship a few weeks ago, but I'm the one who dumped him, good riddance, and this is my third date since then. I don't know which of our friends is lying, but something is fishy here. But second and more importantly, you have rabbits? Do you have photos?"
"Of course." He looks almost offended that you would suggest that there is any chance that he would not have photos. He pulls up an album on his phone and holds it out for you to see.
You coo appropriately at the one albino and one black rabbit, photographed in a variety of indoor and outdoor settings. Okay, this guy must have some personality to have such adorable pets, though damned if he's displaying it even now as you compliment the photos. In at least half the photos there's another man, just as attractive as Lan Wangji, but the polar opposite in disposition—whether he's holding the rabbits or doing something in the background, he's got a sunny smile in every one, and his clothes suggest he might not even own a sedate button-down-and-khakis combo like your date is wearing. "Is that Wei Ying?" you guess. "Your roommate?"
"Oh." Lan Wangji pulls the phone back to look at the photo currently showing, of Wei Ying lying on a couch with one rabbit on his stomach and the other on his chest, nibbling at his long hair. Lan Wangji's eyes soften, showing more emotion than he has the rest of the evening put together. "Yes."
Something about the look on his face causes a dozen puzzle pieces to fall into place in your mind all at once, and a story unfolds itself: Lan Wangji, in love with his roommate and best friend. Wei Ying, probably completely oblivious to this fact, not romantically interested in his best friend, maybe even in love with someone else entirely? Huaisang, who has been trying to get his friend to move on for who knows how long, but Wangji refuses to give anyone else a chance. He may not have everything he wants, but until Wei Ying decides to move out he's content to settle for what he can get, or at least he's convinced himself that he's content. So Huaisang finds someone he might be compatible with, then lies to him that it's for your benefit to get him to agree to go.
You're not thrilled at being a pawn in this drama, but at least a lot of things make a lot more sense now.
As the waiter brings your entrees, you're vaguely aware of someone being somewhat noisy toward the front of the restaurant. You're the one facing that direction, so you can see a bit of what's happening, though you're not paying close attention. The host goes to seat two men, the taller one craning his neck to look around the restaurant. As the host tries to seat them in a booth near the front, the tall man looks back into the room you and Wangji are in, then seems to start arguing with the host, pointing back to the room like he wants to sit back there. You take a bite of your steak, and when you glance at them again, the shorter man is pulling on the taller man's arm and shaking his head, making shushing motions. When you look up again, they've been seated—not in your room, but in a booth much closer than the one the host was originally taking them to.
You never get a look at the shorter man's face, but the taller man sits down facing you, and he looks vaguely familiar, but he's definitely too far away to really see much detail in this low light. He also seems to be glaring at you half the time you look over, which is extremely disconcerting.
You try to ignore all of that and focus on your food, and on trying to draw Wangji out now that you know why he doesn't seem excited to be there.
"Y'know," you finally say after the third time he gives you a one-word answer to a perfectly reasonable question, "I get that this wasn't actually your idea, and you're not happy to find out that your friend went behind your back to force you out on a date. It's fine, you don't have to worry about giving me the wrong idea or anything. So can we maybe just have a normal conversation, knowing that this isn't going anywhere and we're both fine with that? Maybe we can be friends. Or at least maybe you'll find me tolerable enough that you'll let me pet your rabbits sometime—let's be real, that's my main priority here."
He seems to relax a notch at the assurance that you're not interested, and he is a slightly more active participant in the conversation from there—he still rarely says more than a sentence or two, but he's trying. You think.
Every now and then, he turns his head just a few degrees to the side, frowning, as if he's listening to something behind him.
You finally put two and two together just as you're finishing your food: every time the tall guy says something particularly loudly, loud enough that you can hear that he's talking but can't make out what he's saying, Lan Wangji pauses like he's trying to listen.
You lean in. "Do you know that guy over there?" you ask, nodding toward the pair. "I swear, he keeps glaring at me, I don't know what's going on."
Lan Wangji finally turns fully to look, and draws in a sharp breath. The tall guy goes to glare at you again but when sees that he's now got both of your attention the glare drops into a shocked look and he comically grabs the drink list from the side of the table and holds it up in front of his face as if that doesn't just make it far more obvious that he was looking at you.
"Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji says under his breath, and it hits you that yes, that is where you've seen the tall guy before—it's just that he was smiling in all of Wangji's photos while you haven't seen him smile once since entering the restaurant.
The short man, noticing Wei Ying's very obvious attempt at hiding, finally turns around. He, unlike Wei Ying, gives you a sunny smile and a wave.
"Wait, is that—is that Nie Huaisang?" you ask.
"Yes," Lan Wangji says emphatically, but doesn't move. You both sit there, staring at Nie Huaisang and the menu in front of Wei Ying's face. You're pretty sure Lan Wangji is as confused and consternated as you are.
You finally tentatively raise a hand in a small wave at Nie Huaisang, but instead of responding in any way, he turns back around—then attempts to pull the menu away from Wei Ying's face.
Lan Wangji stands up, but doesn't make a move to go over to them just yet.
You watch as Nie Huaisang succeeds in removing the menu then takes Wei Ying's face in his hands, slightly squishing his cheeks, and forces Wei Ying to look at him. You can't hear what he's saying, but he seems to be talking very sternly. After a moment, Wei Ying frowns like Nie Huaisang has just asked him a question, then tries to shake his head, but Nie Huaisang uses his grip to nod Wei Ying's head instead. Then Wei Ying rolls his eyes very exaggeratedly and you can hear his Fine very clearly even from your table.
Lan Wangji has not moved this entire time.
You're only about half surprised when Nie Huaisang stands up, hauls Wei Ying up out of his seat, and starts marching him back to your table. Wei Ying does not look eager to go, and as he passes a lamp you can see how deeply he's blushing.
"Hi Wangji, hi Y/N!" Huaisang sing-songs as they get close. Lan Wangji's eyes are glued to Wei Ying. "Sorry to interrupt, which is to say I'm not the least bit sorry whatsoever, but Lan Wangji, I believe our dear Wei Ying has some things he'd like to tell you."
"Hey Lan Zhan," Wei Ying says in a small voice, eyes wide and terrified. "How's your date going? Huaisang's an idiot, we'll go—"
"No we won't," Huaisang says, grabbing Wei Ying's arm again. "Not until you tell Wangji why we're here at all."
"Uh," Wei Ying says eloquently.
"Not here," Huaisang says. "There's a single-stall gender-neutral bathroom in the back, why don't you guys go lock yourselves in there so nobody else has to deal with whatever's about to happen, hm?" He grabs Lan Wangji's arm as well, then shoves both of them in the general direction of the hallway leading to the bathrooms. Lan Wangji suddenly looks as terrified as Wei Ying. "And don't worry about either of the checks, I've got it."
"We can't—" Wei Ying starts, but Nie Huaisang cuts him off with a glare.
"Go do it or so help me I'll tell da-ge everything—everything—and make him and Xichen sit down with you both. Don't test me, you know I will."
Wei Ying deflates, though Lan Wangji looks mildly puzzled. As Wei Ying takes his elbow and leads him away, Nie Huaisang plops down in Wangji's recently-vacated chair.
"Dessert?" he asks, offering you a dessert menu he's magically produced from somewhere. As you take it, he leans in conspiratorially. "Sorry to get you involved in all this. I asked Jeremy which of his single friends was least likely to be heartbroken if a beautiful man showed no interest in them on a date. I hope he wasn't wrong."
"Uh." You start perusing the dessert menu, which does look excellent. "Yeah, no, it's fine. I was a little offended at first but I figured out pretty quickly why he didn't want to be here."
"Oh, did you?" He beams. "Was it that obvious?"
You snort. "He showed me pics of his bunnies, and his roommate—no, no, best friend—happened to be in most of them. What I don't get is why you brought Wei Ying here. I figured you were trying to force Wangji to get over him and it clearly wasn't going to work, like, at all."
"Oh, I didn't!" Huaisang insists as he flags down the waiter. "That was his idea."
You have to wait until you've both ordered dessert to ask, "What? Why did Wei Ying want to come?"
Nie Huaisang smirks. "Well. I hope you're not offended, but he did a little bit of Google-stalking you and he just wouldn't shut up about how you clearly weren't good enough for Lan Zhan. I may have asked a few well-placed questions once Wangji had left for the date, and lo and behold, before I knew it, Wei Ying had the brilliant idea to come spy on the two of you. Just in case Wangji needed rescuing, you see."
The gears turn in your head as the story you'd put together rearranges itself. "...He was jealous?"
"Insanely jealous," Huaisang says delightedly.
You frown. "Did you... send them to the bathroom to confess to each other? Really? The bathroom?"
Huaisang rolls his eyes. "Trust me," he says, lowering his voice, "those two won't be able to keep their hands off each other long enough to make it all the way back to their apartment. I'm doing the world a favor by making sure they're contained until they get the first round out of their system."
"Ah," you say.
"It took me a while to find a nice restaurant nearby with a single-stall restroom to suggest for the date, I hope you don't mind that I told Wangji it was your favorite and it would really help cheer you up."
You can't help but laugh. "I've never been here in my life, but it was a good meal!"
Unlike Lan Wangji, Nie Huaisang is a delightful conversational partner, by turns goofy and snarky. He's an attentive listener, asking interesting questions, and the stories he tells you are too wild to be believable—but they still feel true.
Once you've both finished your desserts and he's asked for the checks for both tables (he had the waiter box up his and Wei Ying's dinners a while ago), he leans his chin on one hand.
"You know," he says, "you're even more fun than Jeremy made you sound. You know who happens to be single and not in a decade-long idiots-to-lovers slowburn with their best friend?"
You have an inkling who he means, but you say, "Me?"
He smiles brightly. "What a coincidence! I was going to say me!"
"Fascinating," you say. "We have so much in common. Oh!" You reach over and put your hand on his arm. "I almost forgot. I heard something about a situationship going on between some older brothers that sounds extremely juicy, but Wangji is, ah..."
"Not prone to gossip?" Huaisang provides.
"To put it mildly."
Huaisang's smile turns coy. "Well, obviously we shouldn't take up this table any more—why don't we head back to my place and I'll give you all the dirt?"
"Sounds perfect."