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“You should take him on a vacation when he gets out,” Athena says, nudging her shoulder with his. “It’ll be nice.”
Buck rests his hot forehead against the cold glass separating him from Eddie. He watches the steady rise and fall of Eddie’s chest, matching his breathing with Eddie’s, and wishes he could turn the lights down more. Eddie hates light when he’s trying to sleep, always groans and shoves his face into his pillow or Buck’s armpit to hide.
“We still haven’t gone on a honeymoon, you know,” he says, shaking his head and laughing. Between the wedding, moving into the new house, the promotion, and getting Christopher set up in Stillwater, they haven’t thought much about a honeymoon. “D’you have a place in mind?”
She nods. “I sure do, baby.” She reaches for his hand, laces their fingers, and squeezes. “Florida’s nice this time of year. You can even handpick oranges from the groves.”
“Eddie would love that.”
Bobby comes up behind Buck, holding a cardboard carrier with fresh cups of coffee from the place down the road. He smells like outside—cold and iron-like, but good, too, because the sun’s out and everything’s in bloom.
“Here.” Athena takes the carrier from Bobby’s hands. “I’ve got it.”
Bobby hums and wraps his arm around Buck’s shoulders, pulling Buck into his side. A whole month into retirement and he’s still just as solid as ever—tall and thick and towering in a way that dads always are to their little boys. Buck hopes Bobby never gets frail the way that Phillip Buckley has in his age.
He turns into Bobby’s chest, making himself as small as he can. “Dr. Trent said he’s going to be okay,” he says, quietly, and tucks himself further into Bobby’s side. “The fall bruised his left lung and dislocated his shoulder, and the rebar did some damage to his calf, but he’s out of the woods. They expect him to wake up in a couple hours.”
It was terrifying in the way few things are, hearing the floor collapse under Eddie’s feet over the radio and not knowing what was going on because he was outside with the other captains. He fell through two floors and landed on his side in the basement, which bruised his lung and dislocated his shoulder; exposed rebar, rusty and bent off, shoved through his calf. Buck passed off IC to Tommy Kinard so he could help Chim and Hen and Ravi dig through the debris, spurred by Eddie’s screaming for Buck.
He was barely conscious when they pulled him free. Ravi stayed behind with the rest of A shift, acting as interim captain, while Chim drove the ambulance and Buck held constant pressure on the gash in Eddie’s calf where the rebar nicked an artery. Halfway to the hospital, Eddie began to aspirate on his own blood and Hen had to intubate.
Buck only watched, vaguely remembering when they were held at gunpoint by the escaped convicts years ago. It was all he could do then and it’s all he could do now.
The worst thing about being captain is having to sit back and watch his team work, unable to jump in because he’s supposed to lead them. Bobby didn’t tell him that when he handed the mantle over.
“Of course, he is. Captain Diaz is good at keeping his team alive.” Bobby kisses the top of Buck’s dirty head. “How’s your arm? Dr. Trent said it was going to scar.”
Buck laughs. “It’s fine.” He holds it out for Bobby to inspect. The tear’s covered in thick bandage, but it wasn’t bad enough to need stitches. He lucked out, is what they told him. “I’m fine.”
“We know, baby.” Athena pats his shoulder and hands him his coffee. “Just let Bobby and I fuss over our boys for a little while, okay? You owe that to us.”
Warmed all the way to his heart, Buck leans forward so Athena can kiss him on the cheek. She wraps her arm around his waist, completing the circuit so he’s held between her and Bobby, and he thinks he can stand there for the rest of the night, cradled like a child.
“Hen and Chim take off?”
Bobby nods against the top of his head. “They talked to Dr. Trent before I did,” he says. “They wanted to come and tell you bye, but they didn’t want to make a lot of fuss.”
“They’re coming back, though, right?”
“Maddie, too. They’re arguing over who’s going to be the one to kick you out of his room for a few hours tomorrow morning.” Athena combs her fingers through Buck’s hair, scratching the back of his neck with her nails. Shivers crawl down his spine, the good kind. “We can stay with you, if you want. As long as you need. Just say the word, baby.”
A little watery, Buck says, “The word.”
Bobby laughs, mountain-wide shoulders shaking beneath Buck’s cheek, and covers Athena’s hand over the back of his head.
A little after dawn, Eddie wakes up with a small gasp. His eyes are startlingly dark in his pale face, accented by the purple beneath, but his smile’s big and bright and full of brilliance when he turns his head and sees Buck sitting next to him in the uncomfortable armchair. All the sourness in Buck’s body fades away.
He reaches for Eddie’s hand on top of the blankets and laces their fingers. “Hey, baby,” he says, thick with lack of sleep and disuse. Bobby and Athena left a few hours after midnight; he hasn’t spoken sense. “Glad to see you awake.”
“Hey, Captain Diaz.” Eddie squeezes Buck’s fingers harder than he did in the ambulance on the way here. “Holding vigil at my bedside, huh? Don’t you have some firefighters to be bossing around instead?”
Buck smiles because that’s what Eddie wants him to do. “It’s pretty easy to write myself off a few shifts when my lieutenant’s in the hospital,” he replies, running the pad of his thumb along the wrinkles next to Eddie’s eye. His crow’s feet have gotten considerably deeper ever since he passed thirty-five. “How are you feeling?”
Eddie snorts and rolls his eyes, but he moves into Buck’s touch anyway. “Like I fell through two floors and landed on some rebar, and my superhero husband came to save my life.”
“Your superhero husband had help.”
“Of course he did.” He brings their tangled hands up to his mouth and presses a kiss against Buck’s wrist, feather-light and soft. “Your arm okay?”
Buck nods. “I’ve had worse.”
Exasperated, Eddie sighs. “Considering your history, that doesn’t really make me feel good,” he says, scrunching his nose in distaste. “What’s the damage?”
“Bruised lung, dislocated shoulder, and a pretty wicked laceration on your calf from the rebar. It nicked your artery and you lost some blood, and you aspirated in the ambulance and Hen had to intubate to keep you breathing. The surgery took a few hours, but you’re going to be okay.“
He’s okay, he’s okay, he’s okay.
That’s the mantra Buck’s been replaying in his head over and over, his new favorite song. There was so much blood, and it took Buck half an hour to wash it all off even with Athena’s help. Hen and Chim called Bobby, and the three of them stayed in the ICU waiting room anticipating news on Eddie, stretched thin and hollow-eyed.
It doesn’t get easier, seeing someone he cares about in a hospital bed with a tube shoved down their throat. Time doesn’t heal all wounds; Buck’s never going to get used to Eddie, one of the strongest people he knows, beaten down so bad he’s lost almost all his color in a bed that’s somehow too big and too small at the same time.
Eddie hums. Flippant and casual, he says, “That’s not too bad.”
Buck disagrees, but that’s kind of calling the kettle black, isn’t it?
“At least two weeks off work and then another three on light duty. After those weeks are up, we’ll see about moving you back to active duty.” He twists the silicon wedding band on Eddie’s finger, a stand-in for the gold they have in their lockers at work. “As long as the doctor says it’s okay.”
“Mm. Is this doctor’s orders or captain’s?”
“Both.”
Chuckling, Eddie says, “I’ll do my best to listen,” and uses the hand not caught between Buck’s to lazily cross his chest. Abuela would be scandalized if she could see her grandson now. “Scout’s honor.”
“You were never a scout.”
“I was in FFA once.” Eddie salutes lazily. “That’s the same thing.”
Buck scoffs. “That is not the same thing,” he says, half-incredulous. “You had a fit when I said it was the same thing. It was such a big deal you wouldn’t even let me kiss you goodnight until I apologized.”
Eddie wiggles his hand in a so-so fashion between them. “Eh, close enough.”
“Close enough—close enough.” Buck flicks Eddie on the tip of the nose, lightly so it doesn’t hurt, and huffs a laugh at the way Eddie’s eyes cross as he follows Buck’s finger. This man—this man, who goes to the farmer’s market all the way on the other side of town for oranges and fresh flowers to fill the vases in their new house and sits at the kitchen table after he’s finished breakfast so Buck’s not alone—is the greatest love of his life. “You scared me, Eddie. You—all you could do was scream my name.”
Eddie’s laughter crumbles between them, but his smile stays. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Buck shakes his head; silver and gold stars dot his vision when he opens his eyes, a makeshift halo for Eddie’s pale face. “Don’t be, baby. I’m going to save you every time.”
“I know that, too.” Eddie swallows hard. “I wish you didn’t have to, though.”
“Well, I’m your husband.” Buck shrugs and gives Eddie a crooked smile. “It’s kind of my job.”
“And you do it so, so well, baby,” he says, rubbing his across Buck’s knuckles. The skin’s split where the rubble cut through his gloves; it’s already scabbed over, though, and in a few more days it’ll be nothing but an itchy pink scar. “I’ll try my best not to do it again.”
“Do more.” Buck reaches up and catches a loose eyelash from Eddie’s cheek with the pad of his thumb. “I called Chris.”
Eddie winces. “How is he?”
“He’s worried and he wanted to fly out to come see you, but spring break is in a few weeks so I convinced him to wait till then. He’s bringing his roommate again, too.”
Before Buck even made the call, Christopher knew something happened. Years ago—before Buck and Eddie decided to give it a go with one another—Chris put the three of them in a group chat. Even now, all the way in Oklahoma for university, he texts it regularly; when neither Buck or Eddie answer, he starts thinking the worst. Usually, he’s right.
Buck lets Eddie make a wish and blow the eyelash away.
“I called your parents, too. They want you to call as soon as you can, but they’re not going to fly out unless you want them to. Bobby and Athena stayed with us, but I made them go home a few hours ago to get some rest. Hen will be here later with food from the diner you like, and Chim and Maddie are bringing us some clothes to change into. They’re expecting to discharge you tomorrow evening at the latest.”
Eddie grins, dazzling enough it puts the sun and the moon and the stars to shame. “You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you? My smart boy.”
Beneath the praise, Buck preens. Nearly forty years old and Eddie still has the ability to melt him into a puddle of goo with a few pretty words. He hopes it never, ever changes.
“Almost everything,” he corrects, combing his fingers through Eddie’s filthy hair. “Athena thinks I need to take you on a vacation. A proper one, out of state.”
Eddie raises a brow. “A vacation?” he repeats, eyes gleaming from excitement. “I like the sound of that.”
“I thought you might.” Buck tugs on a few of Eddie’s gray hairs, marveling at the way they shine in the lowlight of the room. “She wants to send us to Florida. We can lay in the sun and pick the oranges right off the trees and nap as long as we want to.”
“Like a honeymoon?”
“Like a honeymoon. The one we never got to go on.”
The corners of Eddie’s mouth twitch, as if he’s trying to hold back a massive grin. “Is that allowed?” he asks, whispery-soft, like this is some kind of secret. “I mean, you just got promoted. Are we allowed to take off so soon?”
“I’m the captain, baby,” Buck reminds him. “I can do whatever I want.”
Eddie’s eyes—dark like tree bark, sweet like dripping hot honey—sparkle like they’re made out of stars. “That’s so fuckin’ hot,” he says, half a groan, and reaches up to knot his hand in Buck’s grimy t-shirt. “We’ll have to wait till after spring break, but the answer’s yes, if you didn’t know.”
“I know.” Buck lets go of Eddie’s hand so he can frame Eddie’s face in both of his big palms. “In the meantime—”
“In the meantime,” Eddie interrupts, grinning like he did the first time he held Buck’s hand under the table in the loft at the firehouse, “you’re gonna kiss me. With tongue.”
Buck laughs, delighted and lighter than he’s been in hours, and allows himself to be dragged down so Eddie can kiss him silly.