Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A performance had just ended at Phoenix Wonderland. Riding the high of adrenaline, the troupe huddled together to hug each other. Emu squeezed all three of them as tightly as she could, pressing her head against Nene’s and offering ample praise to each of them. 

As the adrenaline wore down, Tsukasa had come to realize just how close he was to Rui. Practically flush against him, his head resting against his shoulder with Rui’s hand gently placed on his lower back. 

Rui was warm. His cheeks were a bit rosy. They were all panting like dogs because of the performance, and Rui was obviously worn out. 

Tsukasa found himself staring. 

Rui was smiling, a very warm and comforting smile, as he leaned against Tsukasa. His arm tightened a bit more around Tsukasa’s waist. 

It felt nice, being close to him like that.

His touch was so gentle, his smile was so soft, his skin was so warm. 

It was a sort of safe feeling that Tsukasa wanted to feel all the time. 

He wanted to feel that gentle hand against his back all the time. He wanted to feel the warmth of his cheeks against his. He wanted to see his smile every day. 

Could he want more than that? Was he allowed to want more than that? What did that mean? 

He already sees Rui every day, whether at practice or at school. So why wasn’t that enough? Why couldn’t he stop himself from daydreaming about being closer than they were right now? Why did he feel so safe in Rui’s embrace? Why did he care so much?

Why did he feel so embarrassed?! 

He still found himself unable to look away, even though Rui had noticed and was now staring right back at him. 

If only they could stay like this for just a while longer. Would that be alright…?

He wanted to do more than just stare. He wanted more than just a hand rested gently against his back. 

Maybe he just liked the feeling of being held...? And surely he’d feel like this if anyone else were to come and gently drape a hand across his back and pull him close. Right…?

He liked how it felt. Was it selfish to hope for more…?

He couldn’t possibly be in love… That’s not what this was. 

He liked being held— being close to someone else, and in this particular moment that someone just happened to be Rui. That’s it. 

But he wished the moment had lasted longer than it did. He found himself thinking about it for days afterwards. 

But again, he wasn’t in love. Couldn’t be. Tsukasa’s heart belonged to shows, to acting, to roles that he played. 

But the hunger persisted nonetheless. 

Even if that was what this was, even if he had… feelings… 

Would Rui feel the same…? 

No… He was just overthinking it…

But Tsukasa still couldn’t seem to forget how he felt that night. He couldn’t seem to understand why he felt so comfortable under Rui’s touch. He couldn’t seem to forget the twinkle in Rui’s eyes as he stared silently at him, or the way his lips parted slightly like he was expecting something more to happen. 

No matter what, it stuck in his mind and prevented him from getting any sleep. 

He couldn’t possibly be in love, but he wanted to experience that feeling some more. Perhaps that made him a bit selfish.

“Do you think I was too forward…? I mean, he was really staring at me…” Rui was tending to some of Robo-Nene’s circuit boards as Nene sat on the couch behind him. 

“He was really blushing, too. It was gross…” Nene had thrown her legs over the arm of the couch, scrolling through something on her phone. 

“Nene…” He screwed Robo-Nene’s parts back into place, and plugged her into an outlet to charge. He walked over to the couch and slumped down next to Nene. “Do you think he’s mad at me…?” 

Nene quickly sat up and flicked Rui on the forehead with her finger, making him jump. “Don’t say stupid stuff, Rui-nii.” 

“What do you mean?” 

She leaned back against the cushions, and brought her knees up to her chest. “How do you know he didn’t like you being forward with him?” 

Rui leaned back with her, shaking his head. “I… I don’t…?” 

“Exactly.” Nene nodded, elbowing Rui in the side. “Haven’t you ever considered that maybe he likes you, too?”

“Of course I have.” Rui tilted his head back, staring up at the ceiling. “That’s just wishful thinking, though. Isn’t it?” 

He noticed Nene lifting up her hand in the corner of his vision, and covered his forehead before she could flick him again. “You’re saying stupid stuff again…”

Nene sighed, leaning against the arm of the couch and stretching out her legs across Rui’s lap. “Tsukasa is an idiot. He likes you, he just doesn’t know how to deal with it.” 

“How can you be so sure…?” 

Nene couldn’t help but smile a bit. “Because you’re the only one who can shut him up.” 

Rui was quiet for a moment. 

Nene was right. 

Even when they were at school, Tsukasa would clam up whenever Rui decided to tease him or get a little more handsy than usual. 

“You’re the only person I’ve seen that can render Tsukasa speechless. It’s quite a feat, honestly.” 

Now that he was thinking about it, the voice that he heard from Tsukasa when it was just the two of them was… different from Tsukasa’s usual voice. It was quieter, gentler, more vulnerable, meant only for Rui to hear. 

He made eye contact with Nene, and she started to snicker. “You’re blushing again.” 

Rui covered his face out of embarrassment as Nene continued to tease him. 

While he was flustered, he was also feeling much more relieved. 

Tsukasa liked him… Maybe… Probably. 

He probably did… He just didn’t quite know how to place a name to it yet. They were both pretty inexperienced, after all. 

Rui didn’t mind that though. 

As long as Tsukasa would have him and stay by his side, Rui would wait as long as it took. 

No matter how much his heart yearned for more, if it was for Tsukasa, he would wait. 

Tsukasa Tenma had really got it bad. There was no saving him now. 

An all too familiar scene in a shoujo manga that his sister had lent him had caught Tsukasa completely off guard. Blindsided him. Hit him like a speeding freight train. 

He read the pages again and again, resonating a little too much with the main character who had spent the entire novel slowly falling in love with her best friend and hadn’t realized it until the end. 

“Saki—!” Tsukasa immediately shot up from his bed and bursted into his sister’s room. He held up the manga in front of his face to hide his embarrassment. “Why did you lend me this one?!” 

Saki was kicking her feet atop her bed as she read a manga of her own. She looked up at her brother and pouted, closing the novel she was currently reading. “What do you mean?! You didn’t like it?”

Tsukasa fell down onto the bed next to her. “That’s… not what I mean…!” 

“Well… I guess it just reminded me of you! That’s all.” 

Tsukasa quickly sat up to face her. “That is not all!” 

Saki couldn’t help but giggle as she threw her legs over the side of her bed, walking over to her desk to place the volumes of manga back onto a bookshelf. “The main character is just a lot like you, Tsukasa—“ 

Tsukasa grabbed one of the plushies atop Saki’s bed and hid his face against it. 

He was silent for a moment, before taking a deep breath. “Saki… You knew this whole time and didn’t tell me…” 

“I wanted you to figure it out for yourself!” 

He was embarrassed. He was really embarrassed. 

Even when he told Nene and Mizuki about his realization the next day, they both merely responded with “yeah, it’s about time.” 

And when he told Emu, all she said was “I know!” 

It made him even more embarrassed. His crush on Rui was apparently evident to everyone that he knew. 

All this time he never realized because, to him, it felt so… normal. 

It felt right.

But as the embarrassment subsided, the anxiety grew. 

Did this mean that… Rui already knew, too? 

He hesitantly made his way to the roof during lunch, he knew that Rui would be waiting for him there. 

Surely enough, he noticed the other boy sat against the fence and fiddling with some spare parts that he probably smuggled in. 

He decided he wouldn’t bring it up. If Rui did know, Tsukasa really hoped that he wouldn’t bring it up either. He didn’t want to make it awkward. And if he didn’t know, he’d keep his mouth shut. Tsukasa enjoyed being friends with Rui, he liked being in his company. If Rui didn’t feel the same, all that would be ruined. It’d be tense. He didn’t want that. 

Neither of them spoke, or even looked in each other’s direction for a good while. 

But while Tsukasa was all clammed up, nothing seemed to be bothering Rui. He began rambling about his next project just as he always would and Tsukasa listened, breathing a sigh of relief as he allowed his nervousness to fade away. 

It was just the two of them, after all. There was no reason for him to feel so nervous. This was normal, this was how they’d always spend lunch. It’d be selfish of Tsukasa to spoil the moment. So he kept quiet, and merely stared as Rui rambled on and on. 

Rui handled the robot he had been assembling so gently that you’d think he was carrying a bunny or puppy in his hands. 

He was so kind, even to machines. 

His eyes lit up whenever he got the chance to explain one of his creations or ideas, and he would make detailed blueprints that would really prove a dedication to his craft. 

He was passionate, with a rock-solid resolve. It was very admirable. 

And it was really, really cute. 

Once again, Tsukasa couldn’t look away. 

Normally, the troupe would often have a sleepover together to discuss details and ideas before a show. But when Nene caught a cold and ran a slight fever, and Emu dropped everything to keep her company as she recovered, it complicated things. 

“I don’t have a fever anymore, thankfully.” Nene assured them, her voice a bit hoarse from coughing. And after leaving a care package in her doorway (which mainly consisted of sweets and tea blends), Tsukasa and Rui made their way next door. 

Even though they were down two members, Tsukasa decided to stay with Rui for the night to discuss the ideas that he’d come up with for their next show. It’d be better than doing it over the phone, and he’d be able to give Emu and Nene the final rundown when they returned. 

Rui called to his mother as they stepped through the door, and she bounded over to greet them. “Welcome back.” 

Tsukasa met her eyes. Her gingerly, catlike smile was almost identical to Rui’s. “You must be Tsukasa-kun! I’ve heard a lot about you, I’m so glad to finally meet you!”

Rui turned away, hiding his face as best as he could. “Mom…”

“Good things, I hope?” Tsukasa teased, fully noticing Rui’s embarrassment. 

“Yes, yes, of course. Only good things.” 

She draped her arm around his shoulders, and ushered him inside. “Come in, make yourself at home. I’m almost done preparing dinner.” 

Tsukasa and Rui found their seats at the dining table as Mrs. Kamishiro provided them with plates. 

After dinner, Rui had taken the plates into the kitchen to wash them, leaving his mother alone at the table with Tsukasa. “Rui has told me a lot about you.” 

“Has he…?” 

“Mhm… He really thinks highly of you, it’s quite cute.” 

Huh…? 

“It reminds me of when I met my husband—” 

Huh? Okay, hold on— wait a second— 

“I was a biology student in college, and I was really immersed in my research. So much so that I started to become an outcast.” 

“But when I met my husband, I felt like I finally had a place where I belonged. He enjoyed my work, even when I was still seen as a ‘weirdo’… He listened to me and enjoyed what I had to say.” 

“So… Thank you for being there for Rui. I knew he’d find someone like that, eventually…”

Tsukasa had no idea how to respond. Did she really just compare him and Rui to her and her husband?! What could that mean?! 

He knew his cheeks had probably gone red by now, but he couldn’t think of what to say. 

Mrs. Kamishiro stood up from the table and walked into the kitchen to help her son with the dishes, leaving Tsukasa alone with his racing thoughts. 

He couldn’t tell Rui about this. 

Later that night, Tsukasa and Rui stayed awake for hours discussing ideas. Tsukasa brought his sketches for some new costumes, and Rui explained his blueprints for some new props that they could use on stage. 

It was almost midnight when Tsukasa started to wind down, and they both changed into more comfortable sleepwear. 

As he walked back into the garage, Tsukasa had noticed Rui’s bed— or rather, his lack of one. In the corner of the room was an empty bed-frame that didn’t even have a mattress on it. “Um… What happened to your bed…?” 

Rui sat down on the couch, pulling a blanket over himself. He pushed a button on the side of the sofa that made it recline and transform into a makeshift sofa-bed. “My mom doesn’t like me falling asleep in here so she’s trying to get me to move into a room inside.” 

He actually had a room inside the house…? Then why was he sleeping here…?

Rui picked up another blanket and pillow from beside the couch and set it down beside him. Tsukasa assumed those were for him to use. 

Neither of them had said a word about how they had to share a bed— a creaky sofa bed, nonetheless.

Tsukasa hesitantly sat down next to Rui, wrapping the blanket around himself and lying down onto the bed. 

Rui had switched off all the lights, and the only thing illuminating the room now was the faint glow of his phone screen. 

Tsukasa rolled onto his side to try and hide his giddiness, taking out his phone from beneath his pillow in an attempt to distract himself. 

He wrote down some late night ideas for shows that he was sure to hate in the morning. After brainstorming for a while longer, he set his phone down beside his pillow and decided he’d try and sleep again. 

Though, there was a suspicious amount of movement next to him. Rui was tossing and turning, and constantly repositioning his arms and legs. 

It was unlike him. Rui had fallen asleep on Tsukasa’s shoulder more than once, and once he’s out, he’s out . There was no moving him. 

“Rui? You okay?” Tsukasa looked over his shoulder, but Rui had frozen in place. He was laying flat on his back, pretending to be asleep. 

Tsukasa rolled over to face him. “I know you aren’t asleep.” 

Rui hesitantly turned to face Tsukasa, and sighed. “Sorry…” 

“Am I keeping you up…?” Tsukasa asked, but Rui remained silent. “I don’t mind staying on the couch by myself—“ 

“It’s not that, Tsukasa-kun.” Rui slowly rolled onto his side, a bit closer to Tsukasa. 

He tucked his face into his pillow. “I just… I can’t sleep that well without noise…” 

“Noise…?” Tsukasa propped himself up onto his elbows

“Music, white noise, rain… When I was younger, my mom would sing to me to get me to fall asleep. So I guess I just… continued the habit after she stopped.” 

“I see…” 

Rui began to stand up, throwing his legs over the side of the bed and pushing the blankets off of himself. “It’s fine, though… I’ll just go get my headphones—“ 

“I can sing to you.” 

He immediately froze in place. “Wh… What…?” 

“If it’ll help you sleep, I can sing to you…”

Rui laughed nervously. He would absolutely love for Tsukasa to sing him to sleep, but at the same time, he was incredibly flustered. “Tsukasa-kun, you… You don’t have to do that—“ 

Tsukasa fell back down onto his pillow, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. When Saki was younger she was scared of thunderstorms, so I’d sing her lullabies until she fell asleep. I still remember some of them, I think…” 

Rui was still frozen in place at the edge of the bed, he had no idea what to say or what to do. 

Tsukasa had really just offered to sing him to sleep… He must be dreaming…

“Lay down, it’s fine.” Tsukasa told him, patting the empty space next to him. 

Rui did as he was told and laid back down, facing Tsukasa. “Just relax, okay?” 

Once again, Rui complied. He took a deep breath, and released the tension in his shoulders. He let his eyes slowly fall shut, and it was pin-drop silent for a brief moment. 

Then Tsukasa started singing, very quietly and very gently. It was a lullaby that Rui couldn’t remember the name of, one that his mother used to sing for him. 

Tsukasa’s voice, while quiet, was as smooth as butter and sweet as honey. It was a sound that Rui would never grow tired of. 

Rui immediately felt more relaxed than before, and it didn’t take long for him to drift off. 

By the time Tsukasa had finished the song, Rui had already fallen asleep. 

Tsukasa nudged him on his shoulder to see if he was still awake, but Rui didn’t move an inch. He was out. 

Tsukasa laughed a bit under his breath. “Well, that didn’t take long at all…”

Tsukasa closed his eyes again, and started to sing another song. This time, it was mostly just to help himself relax. Then, he felt something tugging on his arm.

Rui had scooted closer to Tsukasa in his sleep, latching onto his arm and holding it to his chest like it was a stuffed animal. Tsukasa initially tried to pull his arm back, but soon gave up so as to not wake Rui. He rolled onto his side so that they were face to face, and continued to sing despite his giddiness. 

Rui eventually let go of his arm, but by the time that Tsukasa had finished the song, Rui’s head was snug against the crook of his neck. He had pressed himself against Tsukasa and latched onto him like a koala. 

Tsukasa had no idea what to do. His cheeks had flushed red, his face felt hot, his heart felt like it was about to pound out of his chest. 

They were so close, practically flush against each other. Rui’s arms were draped loosely across Tsukasa’s waist, and he’d intertwined their legs together.  

Tsukasa was trapped. No amount of singing could get him to relax now. 

…

Was this okay? 

Was it really okay to be this close to him? 

Tsukasa looked back down at the boy lying next to him. His bangs had fallen over his eyes and he was sleeping soundly. 

He was so pretty. 

Tsukasa carefully tucked Rui’s hair behind his ear, revealing long eyelashes and red eyeliner that he hadn’t washed off before falling asleep. He moved down to Rui’s hand that rested atop his waist. There were bandaids on most of Rui’s fingers, and his nails were painted various colors thanks to Emu. He slowly traced his knuckles with his fingers, his skin was cold. 

He again brought his hand to Rui’s face, cupping his cheek. Unlike his cold and calloused hands, Rui’s cheeks were much softer and warmer. 

Tsukasa couldn’t look away from him. 

He wrapped his arms around Rui and pulled him just a bit closer. He slowly ran his fingers through his hair, listening as Rui hummed contently in his sleep and nuzzled against his neck. 

Tsukasa closed his eyes, finally feeling like he might be able to rest. “Goodnight, Rui.”

Tsukasa continued to hum quietly until he eventually drifted off to sleep. 

And then it was morning, and there was a quiet knocking on the door to the garage. “Honey…? Should I start on breakfast?“ 

Rui’s mom had let herself into the room only to find Rui and Tsukasa passed out on the sofa bed, clinging to each other. 

“Ah…” She quickly lowered her voice, and smiled fondly. 

Rui was out to his parents. They knew he was gay. But Rui never told them he had a boyfriend… Nor did he tell them that said boyfriend was his troupe-mate… 

His mother was happy, nonetheless. She knew that Rui cared a lot about Tsukasa, every day he’d come home and tell her something new about him. It was a kind of  young love that reminded her of how she acted when she met his father. 

She quietly excused herself to prepare breakfast, carefully closing the door behind her. 

The faint noise was enough to wake Tsukasa, who stretched out his arms and legs and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. 

As he attempted to stretch the rest of his body, he quickly found himself trapped. 

“Hm…?”

Rui was still cuddled up next to him, his arms wrapped weakly around his waist and his head pressed against his side. 

Tsukasa immediately flushed red, nudging Rui gently in an attempt to move him. “Rui..! Wake up—“ 

But Rui didn’t budge. 

Tsukasa rolled onto his side, facing away from Rui in hopes that maybe he’d shift on his own. He buried his face into his pillow. 

He was so flustered... and Rui was so close to him… 

Eventually, Rui rolled onto his side, and Tsukasa was freed. 

They were separated enough by the time Rui woke up that it wasn’t awkward, and Tsukasa decided not to even mention the fact that they were cuddling last night. 

Because seriously… What the hell was that even about?! 

It was surely nothing. Tsukasa knew that he was clingy while he slept, it’s why he had stuffed animals on his bed. But he had no idea that Rui was the same way. Surely, if Tsukasa had been replaced with a big teddy bear, Rui would’ve done the same thing. 

He was just overthinking it. Surely, it didn’t mean anything…

After having breakfast, Tsukasa had packed his bag back up and headed home. As Rui closed the door after watching him go, his mother waited eagerly behind him like she was waiting to ask him something. 

He narrowed his eyes. “What…?”

“Honey…” She stepped forward and reached for Rui’s arm, making him bend down so she could hug him. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?” 

“W- what…?” 

What? No, seriously— what?! 

“I… I…” Rui had no idea what to say. He was at a loss for words. 

“It’s okay if you weren’t ready yet, but you know that you can talk to me whenever you are—“ 

“Mom—“ 

“And he’s a really nice boy! I’m glad that you were able to find someone like him! How about you invite him over more? I’d like to get to—“ 

“Mom, we… We’re not dating…” 

Rui had fully turned away to hide his face. For the millionth time that week, he was so embarrassed. 

His mother had really assumed that Tsukasa was his boyfriend…

And while that made him incredibly happy, that wasn’t what was happening. Not yet, anyway…

His mother’s eyes widened. “…Oh!” 

Noticing Rui’s incredibly red face, she offered a smug smile. “I see…” 

You see? What do you see?!

“Well…” She patted him on the shoulder, and walked back towards the kitchen. “Good luck then, dear. You can always come to me for help.” 

What was that supposed to mean?!

Chapter Text

It was graduation day for the third year students of Kamiyama High. 

Many students had gathered around the entrance after the familiar sounds of explosions sent loads of confetti into the air. 

“I actually got permission this time. And the confetti is biodegradable so it doesn’t need to be cleaned up.” 

Rui and Tsukasa watched their reactions through the chain-link fence atop the roof. 

“Ah, the wind is picking up now. It’s blowing back up here.” 

Rui turned to watch him as the confetti was carried back to the roof by the wind. Some of it landed in Tsukasa’s hair as he chased some pieces around. 

Rui smiled, resting his hand against the fence. 

…

He would never see this roof again. 

He would never come back here. 

After today, it will be over. 

He turned away to look at his phone, and an unread message stuck out in his notifications. 

Genbu Asahi : Hello again, Kamishiro! Congratulations on your graduation! When is a good time for us to catch up? I have something I’d like to discuss with you.

He didn’t reply. Not yet, anyway. 

He tucked his phone back into his pocket, and turned back towards Tsukasa. 

He was nervous. The previous day he had spent far too long talking to the flowers growing in the greening community’s plots as he tended to them one last time. They were all blooming beautifully. He snipped one carefully and brought it home to put in a vase. 

And that night, he had stayed up far too long rehearsing just what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it until he was assured that it was flawless. 

But everything escaped him now. 

Tsukasa started to laugh as a stray piece of confetti flew up and smacked him in the eye. 

And Rui couldn’t remember a single thing. 

But as he watched Tsukasa pick the confetti out of his hair, his smile started to fade. He almost found himself crying, but tried as hard as he could to hold it back. 

To his dismay, Tsukasa seemed to notice. “Rui…? Are you alright?”

“Of course.” He answered quickly, but it wasn’t the truth. Tsukasa seemed to notice that, too. 

“What’s wrong? You can tell me.” 

“It’s nothing.” Rui looked away. He couldn’t bring himself to look Tsukasa in the eyes, he knew what he would find and it would just make him want to cry even more. 

He placed a hand against his chest, like he was feeling around for something, like he had suddenly remembered something. 

“Don’t lie to me.” Tsukasa leaned a bit closer to him, his smile had now also turned to a pout. “Will you please talk to me…?” 

Rui met his eyes, immediately noticing the genuine worry in his face. He felt guilty. 

After a brief silence, Rui let out a long sigh. 

After today, he might not ever see Tsukasa again. If Asahi really does have a position for him, then they’ll both go onto bigger and better things. 

They’ll move on. 

Even though he knew the outcome, even though he anticipated the inevitable heartbreak…

He was still selfish. 

He needed to be able to say that he tried, so that maybe then he can start trying to move on. 

Because he knew that Tsukasa didn’t want to stay. He was a star, after all. He wanted to see the world. Staying here would only hold him back. 

So even though he knew the outcome, Tsukasa deserved to know the truth. 

He wanted him to know the truth. 

After a long pause, Rui finally spoke. “I… don’t want you to go.” 

 “What…?” Tsukasa didn’t hear him. He stepped closer to listen. 

“I don’t want you to go.” Rui said again, louder this time. 

“Rui…” 

“I know it’s selfish of me and I don’t want to hold you back from pursuing something bigger but—“ 

To his surprise, Tsukasa just smiled. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Rui didn’t understand. “What…? But why would you…” 

“As much as I wanted to study somewhere else, my English grade wasn’t exactly…good…” Tsukasa sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “And I’m not sure I’d want to be that far away from home anyway.” 

“I found a long-term acting class in Tokyo. I’ll be attending it for a few years at least.“ 

“Tsukasa-kun…” Rui should’ve been comforted by all of this, but there was still something biting at his ankles. Something that kept him from celebrating. 

He never did tell Tsukasa what Asahi had offered him before. 

He was quiet for a moment. “Asahi offered me a position at Arkland.”

He noticed how Tsukasa’s expression seemed to falter. “I’d be working with local troupes so… I wouldn’t have to move away either…”

“Rui, that’s… That’s great…!” He was smiling, but his voice was flatter than usual.

Rui could tell that he was forcing himself, even just a little bit.

“I… I don’t know what I want to do yet…”

He should take the offer, it would be the best decision if he wanted to professionally pursue directing. 

But… at the same time… 

Was he ready for everything to change? 

“I’m really happy for you, Rui.” The words were kind, but they stung like salt in an open wound. Rui could only stare at him, his smile wasn’t like the one he usually showed him. It was defeated. It was helpless. 

He felt more guilt bubbling inside his chest. 

“If I do this, then…” Rui’s voice trailed off. 

“Then we…” He couldn’t seem to complete the sentence, but Tsukasa still waited patiently for him to continue. 

Did he even want to do this? Was he ready to leave everything behind? All for the sake of himself, as selfish as that was?

He remembered back to the first time he’d spoken to Asahi, how he had revoked his own offer. 

“Damn, I really wish I had a mirror.”

He remembered that’s what he’d told him. 

If he were to be presented with that same offer now, would he react the same? Or was he ready…?

If he was ready, he surely didn’t feel like it. 

Emu and Nene were going to be third years soon, he squeezed his eyes shut. He still had time. He wouldn’t have to give Asahi an answer just yet. 

He had time. 

He had plenty of time. 

Asahi would understand. 

He still had time… 

“Then…” Rui turned back towards the fence, reaching into his pocket and gently pulling out a small red flower. 

A red tulip, to be exact. 

He held it gently in his hand, looking down at all the students below them. 

“Who’s that for…?” There was a slight yet obvious drop in Tsukasa’s tone as he noticed the little red flower between Rui’s fingers.

“For me? Hehe…” He offered a stale joke and a fake laugh, but it didn’t land. 

“Tsukasa-kun…” Rui turned around, and stepped closer to him. 

“I need to tell you something, but I ask that you promise me one thing first…” 

His voice was quiet, but he looked Tsukasa dead in his eyes. 

He nodded. “O- okay…” 

Rui hung his head, he kept his voice just above a whisper but Tsukasa could still notice how much it trembled when he spoke. 

“Please, just promise me that you’ll let me down easy…?”

Tsukasa wasn’t sure what he meant by that. 

“Do you know what this flower means when you gift it to someone…?”

Tsukasa shook his head in response, and Rui was silent for a moment. 

He stared down at the flower, spinning it around in his fingers as he thought of what to say. “It’s… a confession.” 

Tsukasa tilted his head. “Confession of what…?” 

Rui could help but smile. Even after all this time, Tsukasa was still just as dense as he was when they met. 

“Of love. It’s a way of confessing your love for someone.” 

Tsukasa’s eyes grew wider as Rui offered him the flower, or rather, offered him his confession. 

“You don’t have to accept it.” Rui was smiling now, like he had already accepted the outcome of this situation before it even happened. “But if this really is where we part ways, I wanted you to know that… that I...” 

He took a deep breath, not even noticing that Tsukasa had started to reach his hand out. 

“I do love you.” 

Tsukasa’s hand had gently brushed against his as he slowly took the tulip for himself, holding it to his chest, close to his heart. 

It was as if Rui hadn’t even noticed that Tsukasa had accepted his offering, because he continued rambling, like flood gates had been opened. He couldn’t stop it. “I always have. Every second I fall more in love with you. Every moment we’re apart, I’m thinking about you.”

“You make me crazy.” Rui smiled, laughing in an attempt to keep himself from crying. “Hehe… You’ve put a spell on me, Tsukasa-kun…”

“If we move on after today, I just want you to know that I’ll always—“ 

His voice trailed off as he realized that the tulip was no longer in his hand. Tsukasa had averted his eyes, but as Rui looked closer he noticed the slight trembling of his bottom lip. 

“Tsukasa-kun…?” 

He became even more surprised when he noticed tears streaming down Tsukasa’s cheeks. 

“You… Why did you have to make this so hard…?” Tsukasa spoke quietly, hiding his face behind his arm. Rui didn’t seem to hear what he’d said. 

“You’re acting like I’m going to die after getting out of here…” Tsukasa buried his face against the crook of his elbow, trying to stop himself from crying any more. “I already told you… I’m not going anywhere…” 

Rui stepped closer to him, placing a hand against his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him as he frantically wiped the tears from his eyes. “And you said you weren’t either, so stop being so dramatic…!” 

After a brief moment of composing himself, Tsukasa took Rui’s hands in his own. His eyes and nose were still rosy red, and his lashes had clumped together. He squeezed Rui’s hands tightly. “Let’s live together.” 

Rui’s eyes widened in shock. 

“We’ll both still be here in Shibuya, it’ll give us time to figure things out…“ Tsukasa’s voice slowly trailed off. 

Rui couldn’t find the right words, all he could do was stare. Tsukasa’s face had flushed pink. He slowly retrieved his hands, and gently brushed Tsukasa’s cheeks with his thumbs. “I… would really like that, Tsukasa-kun…” 

Tsukasa hesitantly met his eyes. “But…?” 

“But…” Rui nodded. “We don’t have to rush into it. As much as I want to…” 

Tsukasa reached for Rui’s hands, slowly pulling them away from his face. “But what about your position at Arkland…? Wouldn’t Asahi want you to start right away?” 

Rui leaned closer until his forehead bumped against Tsukasa’s, tucking the stray pieces of hair getting caught on his lashes behind his ear. “He can wait.” 

During their closeness, Rui began to realize things that he hadn’t before. Some of Tsukasa’s lashes were blond, and his bottom lashes were longer than he’d previously thought. His right eyebrow was scarred, but it wasn’t noticeable if you weren’t looking at it. His hair smelled like lemons. His skin was practically flawless thanks to his daily skincare routine. His hands were very soft, and his nails well manicured. 

“Are you sure…?” 

Rui was pulled out of his trance by the sound of Tsukasa’s voice. 

His voice, that was another lovely thing about him. It could be so loud and boisterous one moment, and as smooth and soothing as honey the next.

“Asahi already waited two years for me to graduate, he can wait a bit longer I’m sure.” 

“If you say so, Rui…” Tsukasa shifted slightly, resting his head against Rui’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his waist. 

Rui silently reciprocated, loosely wrapping his arms around Tsukasa’s shoulders and burying his face in the crook of his neck. 

Neither of them spoke for a while. 

“Do you want to come over after the ceremony…? Stay the night…?” 

Right, the graduation ceremony was soon. They probably shouldn’t stay here much longer. 

“Sure.” 

Tsukasa pulled away from the hug first. Realizing what time it was, he quickly turned back towards the door and ushered Rui along by the hand. They neared the door that opened up on the ground floor, but Rui was pulled back before he could step out. “Rui.” 

Tsukasa was still holding onto his hand. 

“Yeah…?” 

Tsukasa smiled. A big, wide, bright smile. The kind of smile that Rui loved. The kind of smile that outshone the sun. “I love you, too.” 

Before Rui could say anything in response, he was being whisked out the door. All he could do was laugh as Tsukasa dragged him by the hand through the school’s courtyard. 

It had started to rain outside by the time the sun had set. After everything that happened during the day, Tsukasa was so tired that he fell asleep at only 9PM. 

Rui laid next to him in his bed, staring out the window beside them and watching the rain smack against the glass. As he attempted to wind himself down, he scrolled through his phone for a little while longer. 

He scrolled through listings of apartments in Shibuya, a bit closer to Tokyo. They were all pretty fairly priced and he had already began eyeing some of them that he thought Tsukasa might like. After scrolling a little too long, he shut off his phone and tucked it under the pillow. 

He was getting too ahead of himself. 

He untied the knot holding the curtains back and pulled them shut, lying back down against the pillow. 

Tsukasa’s bed wasn’t all that big, and Tsukasa became quite stretched out while sleeping. It didn’t leave Rui very much space, not that he minded though. Tsukasa was a human heater, his body radiated warmth. 

They’d shared a bed at sleepovers before, but it was different this time. This time, they were a couple. They were closer than before. 

Rui looked beside him at Tsukasa, who was lying on his back with his mouth hanging open. He gently swept Tsukasa’s hair away from his eyes, his fingers lingering atop his cheeks. 

Even now, as unflattering as he may have looked, Rui was completely enamored by him.

Tsukasa mumbled something in his sleep, rolling onto his side and pressing himself against Rui. “Mm… Rui…?” 

Tsukasa buried his face against Rui’s chest and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist. The gentle squeezing of his hands and the shuffling of his legs made Rui realize that he had woken up. “What time is it…?” 

Rui glanced down at his phone before hugging Tsukasa in return. He sunk down further under the covers so that they were face to face, and gave Tsukasa a kiss on the cheek. “About 1AM.” 

“Urgh…” Tsukasa groaned in response. “Why did you let me fall asleep so early…” 

“It was simply out of my control. A star needs his beauty sleep, does he not?” 

“Mm… That he does…”Tsukasa hummed in agreement, closing his eyes and already starting to drift slowly back to sleep. 

Rui kissed the top of his head. “Goodnight, my star.”

“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Tsukasa pulled Rui’s scarf tighter around his neck, and adjusted his coat to make sure he looked perfect. 

“I’m sure.” 

Tsukasa pouted. He partly wished Rui would’ve invited him to meet Asahi along with him, he was nosy and really wanted to know what Asahi would have to say. But he also understood that this was something Rui needed to do alone. His career was potentially on the line, after all. “Alright…” 

“Don’t worry…” Rui leaned down, resting his hands against Tsukasa’s waist and kissing him on the cheek, the fur from his earmuffs tickling his nose. “I’ll tell you all the details once it’s over, alright?” 

“You better…” Tsukasa pushed himself away, just far enough so that they were face to face, and gave Rui a quick peck. “Let me know when you’re done, okay?” 

Rui nodded, and they both parted ways. 

He was meeting Asahi in some local coffee shop next to the mall. When he arrived, Asahi was already seated at a table, waiting for him. 

“Kamishiro!” Asahi stood up and waved for Rui to join him. He looked more mature than he did the last time they’d seen each other. Asahi was already a few years older than Rui, but that was even more obvious now. Asahi was dressed formally, he was wearing glasses, and his hair had grown a bit longer. “Good to see you again!” 

“Likewise.” 

After they spent awhile talking and catching up, Asahi decided to breach the more difficult subject. “Now, I’m sure you know what I really wanted to talk to you about, right?” 

Rui nodded, looking down at the cup of tea he was nursing. 

“We really want you on our team, Kamishiro.” 

“Ah… Well…” Rui took a deep breath, rehearsing exactly what he wanted to say in his head a few times over. “You see… So…” 

He hesitantly looked up to meet Asahi’s gaze. “When Nene graduates, she wants to go to university in America.” 

Asahi was silent, unsure of where Rui was taking the conversation. “And when Emu graduates, she told me she wanted to take over her dad’s company and turn Phoenix Wonderland into a global park chain…” 

“When they go their own ways, then Wonderlands x Showtime won’t be… always together anymore.” 

“But Nene and Emu are still in high school…” 

“And I want us to stick together for as long as possible, at least until they graduate and move on.” 

Asahi sighed, and Rui looked up at him. He half expected a look of disapproval or annoyance, but Asahi seemed happy— amused even. 

“So… you’re asking me to wait another year?” 

Rui nodded. “If you’re willing… Yes.”

It didn’t matter if he was willing or not. He needed more time. He wasn’t going to up and leave his friends, not while they were all still together. 

No matter what Asahi’s response would be, he would always choose his friends. He wanted to stay with them until he couldn’t anymore, and that moment was soon approaching. 

And so, he needed more time. 

Asahi leaned back in his chair, adjusting his glasses. “Hah… Damn…”

Hearing the defeat in Asahi’s voice, Rui tried to backpedal a bit. “I really do want to work with you all, but—” 

Asahi waved his hand, cutting Rui short. “It’s alright, I understand.”

“Your friends are lucky to have you, I understand why you wouldn’t want to start working such a tight schedule right away. Especially when all your friends are still here in Shibuya.”

Rui relaxed a bit, allowing the tension in his shoulders to be relieved. 

He was making the right choice, wasn’t he? 

“Say, how about this—“ Asahi leaned forward onto the table, picking up his cup of what appeared to be black coffee and taking a sip. 

“How about for the time being, you come to the park and uh…” He waved his hands around as he searched for the right words. “Shadow us…? See how things are done behind the scenes?” 

“You wouldn’t be bound by a schedule or anything so you can come whenever I’m working— here, I’ll give you my hours…” Asahi retrieved a pen from his bag and began writing times down onto a napkin. “This way, maybe you can come while your friends are at school or something?”

Rui agreed, thanking Asahi and breathing a long sigh of relief. He was glad that Asahi was so understanding. He’d already waited two years for Rui to graduate, yet he’s still willing to wait one more. 

They must really want Rui on their team… 

After exchanging a few more pleasantries, they both stood up from the table and prepared to leave. Asahi thanked Rui for meeting with him, even if the outcome was one he didn’t particularly like. 

“Thank you for being so patient.” Rui told him, and Asahi just laughed. 

“Ah… Just don’t make me wait any longer after this year and everything will be perfect. I won’t forget, alright?” 

Rui nodded. “I’ll be ready.” 

When Rui returned to their shared apartment, all he wanted to do was lay down and sleep. After his talk with Asahi he had spent the rest of the day shopping for groceries and looking for some new materials to add into his recent creations. 

Tsukasa was waiting for him when he arrived. He’d prepared dinner for the both of them, made special with no vegetables just the way that Rui liked it. 

As Tsukasa plated the food for the both of them, Rui slowly snaked his arms around his waist and hugged him from behind, kissing the back of his neck. Tsukasa turned to face him, pushing himself up onto his tiptoes to kiss him on the lips. “Can you set the table?” 

As they both sat down to eat, Tsukasa took a spoonful of fried rice and dropped it into Rui’s bowl. “I made it a little different this time, try it.” 

In all honesty, Rui couldn’t taste much of a difference, if any at all. But Tsukasa watched him eagerly to see his reaction, so he decided to humor him. “It tastes great. You didn’t sneak in any vegetables, did you?” 

Rui meant it as a joke, but there was a suspiciously long pause before Tsukasa finally answered. “Nope…!” 

There were definitely hidden vegetables. 

But Rui loved his boyfriend. He’d brave the evil for him. Thankfully, Tsukasa disguised them well enough that Rui couldn’t tell when he’d eaten one. 

“You snuck vegetables in it, didn’t you?” 

Tsukasa simply took their plates to the sink and rinsed them, not offering an answer as he tried to hide his smile. 

That night, as they both laid in bed, Tsukasa scrolled through his phone as Rui clung to his side. Despite Rui’s efforts of hiding his face under the covers or against Tsukasa’s side, the blue light from his phone screen just wouldn’t let him rest. “Tsukasa-kun…” 

“Yeah…?” Tsukasa shifted slightly, allowing Rui to latch onto his free arm. 

“Your phone…” 

Tsukasa quickly realized what he’d meant and turned off his phone, finally eliminating the bright blue light. “Sorry for keeping you up…”

Rui felt Tsukasa kiss the top of his head, and roll onto his side to face him. He nuzzled against Tsukasa’s neck, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer. He became even sleepier when he felt Tsukasa slowly running his fingers through his hair. 

“Can I ask you something…?” Rui asked, slurring his words a bit due to his sleepiness. 

“Yeah, what?” Tsukasa had finally closed his eyes, feeling calm enough to get some sleep. 

“How do you want me to propose to you…?” 

And just like that, Tsukasa was wide awake again. “Wh- what?” 

“You know, like…” Rui yawned. “Should I do it somewhere public…? Or at home where it’s just the two of us…?” 

Tsukasa pushed himself away just far enough to take Rui’s face in his hands, feeling him lean into the touch. “That doesn’t matter to me… Wherever we are when that happens, I’ll only be focused on you.” 

“Mm…” Rui hummed, but offered no further response. 

Tsukasa was quiet for a moment, but he was still giddy as all hell. He couldn’t help it. What was Rui thinking just dropping this on him in the middle of the night?! It wasn’t fair at all… “Are you… planning on proposing to me, Rui…?” 

“Of course I am…” 

Of course he was. He’d never been more in love with someone in his whole life. He’d never wanted to be with someone more. 

A life together with Tsukasa was his happy ending, and he slept soundly knowing that he had the power to make it happen someday.

But it took Tsukasa a bit longer to fall asleep that night. 

Chapter Text

“Ready to go?” Tsukasa adjusted his glasses and buttoned up his jacket as he headed over to the front door. 

“Mhm.” Rui walked up behind him, leaning down and kissing him on the cheek. 

They were headed to an aquarium on the outskirts of Shibuya, near Tokyo. Mizuki and An were supposed to meet them there. 

“You’ve been awfully quiet today, is something wrong?” Tsukasa asked, turning around to face Rui and gently cupping his cheek in his hand. 

Rui shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong.” 

“Alright…” Tsukasa pouted, knowing that Rui wasn’t being entirely truthful with him but not wanting to press it further. He pushed himself up onto his tiptoes to kiss him. “If you say so…” 

Rui was, in fact, not being truthful. The truth was that he was incredibly nervous to go out today. 

Because today was the day he wanted to ask Tsukasa to marry him. 

Mizuki and Saki had gone with him to choose a ring, one that Tsukasa was sure to love. 

He checked his pockets time and time again that morning to make sure he wouldn’t forget it. 

Even though he had nothing to worry about, he was still a bit nervous. 

“Come on, we’re going to be late.” Before he had a chance to overthink even more, Tsukasa was dragging him out the door. 

Mizuki and An were already waiting outside for them when they arrived. 

Once they were inside, Mizuki and Rui fell behind as An and Tsukasa led them around. When Tsukasa wasn’t looking, Mizuki elbowed Rui in the side as a way of asking did you bring it?  

Rui nodded, of course I did. 

As they neared the end of the exhibits, they reached a large room lit only by the dark blue glow of the water. 

Kelp danced around behind the glass, and there were many different species of fish swimming together in the tank. 

Tsukasa stepped up to the glass, gently placing his hand against it as a sea turtle swam by. 

Rui stepped back towards An and Mizuki. “Is it time, Rui?!” 

Mizuki took out her phone, ready to start recording whenever Rui gave her the OK. “You already know he’s going to say yes. Just hurry up, already.”

“Mizuki…!” An pinched her on the arm and Mizuki yelped quietly in response. 

Rui took a deep breath, fishing the little black box from his pocket and holding it behind his back. He turned back towards An and Mizuki, and winked. 

“Go time~” Mizuki mumbled, starting to record on her phone. 

As he walked up behind Tsukasa, he rested his hand against his back. “Ah, look.”

Tsukasa pointed to a giant grouper that had been floating slowly next to the glass, and a crowd of people had walked up beside them to watch it. 

He stared into the tank for a while longer. There wasn’t much else in it besides the fish and some coral, but it was relaxing. He could’ve stared at it for hours. “It’s really pretty, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah…” Rui agreed, but he wasn’t looking into the tank. “Hey, Tsukasa-kun…”

That damn honorific. He hadn’t dropped it even after being together with Tsukasa for at least six years now. It was almost like a pet name, at this point. 

“Yeah…?” 

Tsukasa turned to face him and, for a moment, Rui could only stare.

Damn. He was so lucky. Even in the dim light of an aquarium, Tsukasa looked as pretty as ever. 

“I love you.” 

So much more than Tsukasa could ever know, and so much more than Rui could ever manage to articulate. Rui would tell Tsukasa how much he loved him every second of every day if only he’d let him. When they wake up, when they eat meals together, when they run errands, when they lay down to sleep— I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. 

Words couldn’t describe it. It couldn’t describe the feeling of finally finding a home in someone, finding a place where you can always return to, finding what you had always been longing for and never thought you’d have. 

The feeling of being loved once seemed so far away to Rui, but now… 

Tsukasa smiled, taking Rui’s hand. “I love you, too.” 

Now, it came so easily. Like he’d been doing it his whole life. 

“You know, if you told me from the past that one day I’d be here… With you… I don’t think I’d believe you.” 

Tsukasa remained silent as he waited for Rui to continue. 

“I’m really glad that you found me, Tsukasa-kun.” 

Tsukasa reached up and tucked Rui’s hair behind his ear, letting his hand rest against his cheek. Rui bent down a bit, leaning into his touch. 

Rui was silent for a moment, and he didn’t need to look over to know that Mizuki was probably begging him to get on with it. 

But he didn’t mind, he wanted to take his time. 

“I want to be with you for as long as you’ll have me, Tsukasa-kun.” Rui reached up and placed his hand over Tsukasa’s, taking it in his own. “Can I ask you something?”

And then Rui finally knelt down, revealing the little black box with a beautiful ring inside. 

Tsukasa had clamped his hands over his mouth, and Rui couldn’t help but giggle at his surprise. 

Rui didn’t even get a chance to actually pop the question before Tsukasa launched himself onto him, hugging him as tightly as he could. “You already know my answer…”

Rui hugged him back, returning to his feet and lifting Tsukasa a few inches off of his, spinning him around. He could hear Mizuki and An quietly clapping their hands behind them. 

Tsukasa pulled himself out of the embrace, and Rui returned him to his feet. Tsukasa gently cupped Rui’s face in his hands. 

“So… is that a yes…?” Rui asked, and Tsukasa pulled him down until their foreheads touched. 

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes, of course.” 

Rui’s entire body felt numb, in a good way that is. All the noise around them had faded out. All he could hear now was his heart, pounding loudly inside his chest. 

Rui felt like crying. He was so happy. 

The happiest he’d ever been.

Tsukasa leaned in across from Rui, pulling him down from the back of his neck and kissing him. 

He allowed himself to be pushed back as Rui took the ring out of the box and held it between his fingers. He took Tsukasa’s left hand in his own, sliding the band slowly onto his ring finger. He brought Tsukasa’s knuckles to his lips, and kissed them one by one. 

“I love you.” He told him, again. 

Again and again and again and again and again. 

Tsukasa loved sunflowers, they were his favorite flower. So, Rui decided to take him to a sunflower field. 

They were all in full bloom, like hundreds of bright yellow stars. 

“Rui, come over here!” There were narrow paths in between the rows of flowers, and Tsukasa was running up and down all of them. Rui trailed behind him, his phone in his hand as he took candid pictures of Tsukasa while he wasn’t looking. 

“This one’s shorter than all the rest.” Tsukasa pointed to a flower in one of the rows. Just as he said, it was shorter than all of the other flowers around it. 

Tsukasa smiled, almost as brightly as the flowers surrounding him and the sun in the sky. Rui held up his phone, taking a picture of Tsukasa which he happily posed for. 

Rui could only stare as Tsukasa continued to walk through the rows of sunflowers. 

It was a warm day. Tsukasa was wearing one of Rui’s button ups under an otherwise plain shirt, and a light blue bucket hat with his favorite fish logo embroidered on the front of it. 

“Rui look, this one is taller than you!” 

The flowers were beautiful, but not as beautiful as him. Not as bright or as sweet as he was. 

They may have been sunflowers, but he was the sun. 

As Rui held his phone up to take another photo, a glint of sunlight caught Tsukasa’s wedding band, and Rui’s heart began to race. 

It was childish, but Tsukasa still made his heart flutter just like he did when they were seventeen. 

Even now, as his husband, he still managed to fluster Rui and leave him speechless. 

Rui almost pinched himself, because he was sure that this must be a dream. 

“Is there a bug or something…?” Tsukasa asked once he noticed that Rui had frozen in place. 

“No, love, don’t worry.” Rui laughed, taking another photo. 

Since being married, Rui had found that he’d been taking much better care of himself. 

He would often wake up and sleep at fairly routine times, he stopped skipping meals, he cared for his skin, and tried correcting his poor posture. 

Partly because didn’t want Tsukasa to worry about him, partly because of how refreshed it made him feel. 

And while he loved to be fully engrossed and dedicated to his work, it was also nice to actually get a good night’s sleep and not wake up with an incredibly sore back once in a while. 

And ever since he’d started to practice a skincare routine before bed, his skin hadn’t felt nearly as dry as it normally would. 

He liked the feeling, he liked feeling well groomed and cared for. 

Tsukasa’s compliments were also a plus. 

As Tsukasa headed to bed one night, Rui tied his hair into a ponytail and pushed his bangs back with a headband. He retrieved a small jar of cream from the cupboard and began to massage it onto his face. 

The mask felt so cold against his skin, but it was relaxing at the same time. It smelled like mint and lavender, which was also supposed to help him sleep better.  

He needed to let it sit for a while, so he made his way to the bedroom to lie down. 

Tsukasa was sitting up in bed, reading a book. 

As Rui entered, he couldn’t help but laugh at his appearance. 

“Rui, you look like a ghost.” 

Rui walked over to the side of the bed. “Mm... I’m here to haunt you~” 

He fell down onto the mattress, lying on his back so as to not smear the cream onto the bedsheets. 

Tsukasa silently offered Rui his hand as he continued reading, and he gladly accepted it. 

As Rui stared up at the ceiling, he felt relaxed enough to fall asleep. He probably would’ve drifted off if it wasn’t for Tsukasa occasionally squeezing his hand. 

After a few more minutes, Rui returned to the bathroom to wash off his face and let his hair back down. 

When he returned to the bedroom, Tsukasa started to laugh again. 

“What…?” 

“Your hair…”

Rui couldn’t see it, but his hair had gotten tangled from the headband and was now pointing in seemingly every direction. 

“Get the brush.” Tsukasa said, and Rui did as he was told. 

He handed over the hairbrush, and sat on the edge of the bed next to Tsukasa. 

Tsukasa positioned himself onto his knees, holding Rui’s face as he began brushing through his unruly hair. 

He noticed when Rui would flinch whenever he pulled a bit too hard or struck a knot, so he tried his best to brush as slowly and gently as he could. 

He ran his fingers through Rui’s hair as he continued, it was soft and shiny and it smelled like rosewater. He swore that he could hear him purring like a cat in response.

“It’s just going to get tangled again when I fall asleep…” Rui tilted his head back until he could see Tsukasa, who leaned in closer and rested a hand under Rui’s chin.

“I’ll just have to brush it again in the morning, then.” Tsukasa closed the small gap between them, closing his eyes and kissing him. He felt Rui’s hands against the back of his neck, keeping him close as he kissed him back.

Tsukasa lifted his head just high enough to take a quick breath, but was quickly pulled down into another kiss.

Tsukasa tasted like the sweet peachy lip balm that he would always apply before going to bed. His skin smelled of the sweet flowery lotion that he had used earlier, and his hair felt so soft between Rui’s fingers. 

“Mm—“ Tsukasa pulled back, covering Rui’s mouth with his hand. “Alright… That’s enough...”

Tsukasa laid back down against his pillow, patting the empty space next to him encouraging Rui to do the same.

As Rui pulled the blankets over himself, Tsukasa switched off the lamp on his nightstand and pressed himself against Rui’s side. 

He kissed the top of Tsukasa’s head, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer. “Goodnight, love.” 

Tsukasa echoed him, nuzzling against Rui’s neck and kissing his jawline. 

It was much earlier than when Rui would normally go to bed (which was around one in the morning), but he was trying to fix that habit. He knew that Tsukasa didn’t really like to fall asleep alone, and he’d usually stay awake waiting for Rui as a result.

But now Tsukasa was out like a light, and soon Rui was too.

Chapter Text

Tsukasa had been away for a week after being booked to make a brief appearance in an upcoming movie, so Rui laid in bed all alone. 

He could never seem to fall asleep easily while Tsukasa was away, so he laid awake reading a book as a way to pass the time until he eventually succumbed to his exhaustion. 

It seemed like hours before his eyes started to feel heavy, and he was just about to drift off until—

“Daddy…?” 

The bedroom door slowly creaked open. “Chiaki, what's the matter?”

Chiaki Kamishiro-Tenma, their six year old daughter, stood quietly in the doorway.  

Her hair was pale blonde like Tsukasa’s but her eyes were more like Rui’s; curved downward, more narrow, and golden in color. 

In her hand was a fuzzy purple bunny plush that Rui had won for her at an arcade, and she had on Phenny themed pajamas that Emu had gifted her for her birthday. 

They brought her home when she was just a baby, and they both swear that she was a gift from god himself. 

She hardly ever cried, and would fall asleep as soon as they would lay her down for a nap. She would sleep for almost a full night, only sometimes waking up in the early morning. 

Her only flaw was that she refused to eat her veggies, and much preferred ramune candy instead. Just like Rui. 

And now, she walked over to the side of the bed and crawled up next to Rui, who pulled the blankets over her and tucked her in. “Can’t sleep?” 

Chiaki shook her head. 

Rui had noticed that, just like him, Chiaki had a hard time falling asleep when Tsukasa was away. 

They both missed him. 

Rui set his book down on the nightstand beside him, adjusting his glasses as he wrapped his arm around Chiaki. “How about I tell you a bedtime story?” 

She quickly perked up, nodding her head. Rui would often read to her or tell her stories before bed, every story was different and sometimes she’d try to stay awake just to hear the end. 

She listened intently as Rui began telling her a story about a mermaid princess and a magic pearl. She tried to stay awake to listen, but had drifted off to sleep only moments later. 

Soon enough, Rui had done the same. With the bedside lamp still turned on and his glasses still perched on his face, he had fallen asleep. 

A few hours later, Tsukasa quietly snuck in through the front door. 

“I’m home.” He called, trying to keep quiet and expecting Rui to greet him. 

Though, as he hung his coat and removed his shoes, he was met with silence. “Rui…?” 

He noticed the light in their bedroom was still turned on, and he called out again. “Rui…” 

He gently pushed the door open, only to find Rui and Chiaki fast asleep together. Chiaki was gripping her purple bunny plushie, and Rui had pulled her close to his chest. 

He leaned against the doorway, laughing quietly to himself before walking over to the side of the bed. 

He swiped Rui’s hair away from his eyes and carefully removed his glasses, leaning down and kissing both of them on the cheek. 

He pulled the blankets over both of them and switched off the light. But just as he was turning to leave, he felt something tug on his sleeve. “Tsukasa…?” 

“Hey…” He sat back down on the bed, next to Rui. 

Rui’s tired eyes immediately brightened, and he perched himself up on his forearms. “I missed you…” 

Tsukasa cupped his cheek with his hand, and Rui nuzzled against his palm. He leaned in and kissed him, and Rui’s skin was warm to the touch. Tsukasa felt a chill run through his whole body as the heat rolled off of Rui’s cheeks and onto his. “I missed you, too.”

“Kabochi missed you, too. She couldn’t sleep.”

Tsukasa kissed him one more time before pulling the blankets on the bed over Rui again. “Looks like you couldn’t either, hm?”

Rui yawned in response, rolling back onto his side and facing Chiaki. 

Tsukasa laughed quietly. “Go back to sleep, I’m sorry for waking you.” 

“Kabochi, if you don’t go to sleep you’re going to be too tired to see Nene tomorrow.” 

But Chiaki was too excited to sleep. She had spoken with Nene over the phone plenty of times, but Nene was finally coming home from American uni for summer break which meant they’d finally be able to meet in person. 

Chiaki wanted to stay up all night to wait for her, and refused to admit how tired she was already feeling. 

She stood at the windowsill in her room, looking up at every plane that passed by overhead. 

“Come on, Chiaki.” Tsukasa quietly walked up behind her, lifting her up and carrying her to bed despite her protests. 

He tucked her into bed, noticing the very intense pout on her face. “You better wake me up in the morning, Papa.” 

Tsukasa couldn’t help but chuckle as he kissed her on the top of her head. “I will, don’t worry.”

Her excitement kept her awake a bit longer, but Chiaki eventually gave in. 

The next day, all three of them went to the airport to pick up Nene. 

“Where is she?!” Chiaki had been asking the same question ever since she had gotten out of the car. 

Eventually, Nene had walked out of the gate where her plane landed and retrieved her luggage. There were visible bags under her eyes as a result of the jet lag and her hair was tied up into a loose ponytail. Rui had told her they had plans the day after she landed, but all she wanted to do now was go home and sleep. 

As she neared the front of the airport, a young girl bounded towards her. 

“Nene—!” 

Nene knelt down and Chiaki practically launched herself into Nene’s arms, hugging her tightly. Nene slowly rose to her feet, carrying Chiaki with her. She walked towards Rui and Tsukasa, holding out her free arm and offering them a hug. 

She tried to hand Chiaki back over to her dads, but it soon proved to be futile. She was latched onto Nene like a little koala. 

“She was really excited to see you.” Tsukasa told her, and Nene perched Chiaki against her hip. 

“I was really excited to see you, too.” 

Rui took a step closer, noticing Nene’s sunken eyes and obvious fatigue. “You look awfully tired, Nene…” 

She snickered, patting him on the shoulder as she continued towards the entrance of the airport. “Thanks.” 

Despite her parents’ home being not too far away, Rui and Tsukasa had assured Nene that she was more than welcome to stay with them— especially considering just how excited their daughter was to finally have a chance to spend time with her. So, Nene agreed. 

As soon as they got home and led Nene to her room, she changed into her sleepwear, closed all the blinds, and fell asleep at only one in the afternoon. 

Tsukasa tried explaining to Chiaki that they would go out tomorrow when Nene was well-rested, but he still noticed Chiaki sneaking glances at Nene’s room in hopes that she’d suddenly wake up. 

The next day, the four of them paid a visit to Phoenix Wonderland in hopes that Emu would be there. 

Rui had picked up Chiaki to carry her so she wouldn’t try to run off while they weren’t looking, and began to tell her stories of the Wonder Stage as they crossed the park to get to it. With the park’s anniversary happening soon, they assumed they could probably find Emu there.

Even though she was much busier now, and trying to expand the park chain across the world, Emu still spent a lot of her time at the Wonder Stage. She coached all the young new actors that were looking to perform for the park, and even guided them through dance choreography from time to time. 

As they approached the amphitheater, a small group of high schoolers were practicing a scene onstage as Emu guided them from the audience. 

The high schoolers had noticed them in the audience, too, and each of them glanced nervously behind Emu as they read from their scripts. 

Emu had eventually noticed them all looking behind her, and turned around to see who was there. 

Her eyes immediately widened, and her mouth fell open. She shot up from her seat, squealing as loudly as she could and bounding towards them. 

Nene was her first victim. She pounced on her and nuzzled against her cheek, hugging her so tightly that Nene thought she might faint. “What’re you all doing here?! Oh, I missed you so much, Nene-chan!” 

Tsukasa was next. Emu launched herself towards him, making him stumble back and nearly lose his footing. He hugged her back, but she was squeezing him so tightly that his face had begun flushing red. “Emu… Please… We saw each other just last week—“

Not like Emu cared about that, though. She was too excited. 

Then it was Rui. She winded herself up to jump onto him, until realizing the little girl in his arms. “Chiaki-chan!” 

Emu had met her when she was born, and she hadn’t missed a single holiday since then. She always bought Chiaki gifts whenever she traveled for work, and her dads would bring her to the park to visit whenever they got the chance. 

Chiaki squirmed in Rui’s arms, reaching out for Emu. He lowered her back to her feet, and she immediately ran up to her. 

Emu picked her up and spun her around, hearing Chiaki giggle in response. 

For the rest of the day, Emu took Chiaki on whatever ride she wanted; often dragging Nene along despite her hesitance. 

Tsukasa and Rui trailed behind as Nene and Emu led Chiaki along by her hands, occasionally lifting her up and swinging her as they walked. 

Rui felt Tsukasa reach for his hand and interlock their fingers, gently leaning his head against Rui’s shoulder. 

“I’m glad we got to do this.” Tsukasa mumbled. “It’s nice being all together as a group again.”

“Yeah…” Rui agreed, turning towards Tsukasa and kissing the top of his head. “Maybe we should put on our own show, for old times sake…” 

Rui was joking, for the most part, but Tsukasa had remained silent like he was thinking hard about something. Oh dear… I’m giving him ideas…

Soon enough, Emu had led them to the ferris wheel. She ushered Nene and Chiaki along to secure a spot in line. 

Emu had asked Tsukasa and Rui if they wanted to come with, but they declined. “You guys go ahead, we’ll wait here.” 

They watched as the girls’ cart slowly reached the top of the wheel, and Chiaki waved to them through the window. 

Tsukasa glanced over at Rui as he waved back, and sighed quietly to himself. 

They’ve really come a long way. 

He remembered his first time on the ferris wheel, with Emu. He remembered how the sparkle slowly dwindled from her eyes, the helplessness in her expression, her melancholy tone of voice. 

If it wasn’t for her, he wouldn’t be here. 

He pressed himself against Rui’s side, finding his hand again and taking it in his own. 

“You okay…?”

“Yeah…” Tsukasa looked up, his expression immediately softening as he met Rui’s eyes. “I’m okay.” 

They were silent for a moment more, each noting the words purposefully left unsaid. 

Tsukasa squeezed Rui’s hand a little tighter, turning his attention back to the ferris wheel.  

“Rui…?” 

“Hm?” 

“Chiaki had a lot of fun today.” Tsukasa rested his head against Rui’s shoulder. “I’m really happy, Rui.”

“Mhm…” Rui released his husband’s hand and instead wrapped his arm around Tsukasa’s shoulders, pulling him closer and kissing him on the cheek. “I am, too.” 

“Daddy—!” 

Rui knelt down as Chiaki ran towards them, welcoming her into his arms and lifting her up. “Emu said that I could be in the park’s big birthday show!” 

“Really?” Tsukasa raised an eyebrow, glancing over to Emu for confirmation. 

“Hehe, that’s right. It’s the park’s 50th anniversary soon so we’re planning a big show at the Wonder Stage to celebrate. There’s scenes in the beginning that show the main character when she was a child, and I think Chiaki-chan would be a perfect fit~” 

“She said I would be a princess!” 

Emu perched her hands against her hips. “That’s right! But I think you’re already a princess, Chiaki-chan.” 

Tsukasa sighed quietly, remembering their first shows at the Wonder Stage as a group. Some of them didn’t go as planned, but if it wasn’t for those mishaps then they wouldn’t have ever found their way. Like a light at the end of a tunnel, or clarity after a long rain. 

Now, his daughter was going to perform in a show on that same stage. 

He almost felt like he was about to cry, but he held it in. 

“I’ll come over tomorrow so we can start going over the script, okay?” 

Chiaki nodded her head, her eyes shimmering with excitement as Emu walked them back to the park’s front gates. 

“Everyone, please find your seats!” Emu’s voice boomed over the amphitheater’s loudspeakers. “Our show is about to begin!” 

Tsukasa and Rui tried to sit as close to the stage as they could, finding seats in the second row. 

As the buzzing of the audience winded down, a spotlight shone onstage. The crowd cheered as Emu stepped into it. “Everyone, thank you all so much for coming.”

“I remember sitting in the audience when I was little, and remembering just how amazing it felt to be part of something so special. I hope that we’re able to make all of you feel that way, too!” 

“To me, these are more than just shows. It's a way of touching someone’s heart. It's a way of expressing real feelings, and inspiring people far and wide. It’s like our very own language, and I hope to convey it to all of you!” 

“Our show may start here, but our actors are all over the park! So it’s up to you to find them!” 

“Without further ado, please enjoy the show!” 

The crowd was silent as the stage was being set, and Rui felt Tsukasa squeeze his forearm. 

A narration began, explaining the story. The main character was a princess who was born in the forest, and who befriended the various creatures and fauna that she coexisted with. 

As the forest faced challenges, she needed to protect it from harm with the help of her animal friends. The story began when she was just a child, greeted and welcomed by the various forest creatures. 

Tsukasa excitedly patted Rui’s arm when the spotlight focused on Chiaki. The scene started with her waking up in a pile of leaves and flowers, with the various actors dressed as animals gathering around her. 

Emu had dressed her up in a silky pink gown, with a crown of flowers around her head. She was giving every line her absolute all, even more so when she noticed her dads cheering her on in the second row. 

The scenes that she was in were mostly just to establish her character’s relationship with nature. But as time progressed, and an older actress replaced Chiaki as the princess, the animals got spread out and lost because of a fire spreading in the forest. 

Which is also when the audience was prompted to explore the park to find the actors at various attractions and “help” them. 

As the crowd dispersed to search for the actors, Tsukasa and Rui stayed behind as Chiaki bounded down the stairs leading from backstage. Emu followed close behind her. 

Tsukasa knelt down and she ran up to him. He picked her up and spun her around, kissing her on the cheeks. “My beautiful little princess, you did amazing!”

“It was so much fun! I want to do it again!” 

Emu giggled. “I’ll make sure to tell you whenever a new show is happening, then!” 

By the time that they had been around the whole park talking to the actors, the ending scenes of the show were about to begin, and the sun was beginning to set. Chiaki had fallen asleep on Rui’s shoulder as he carried her around, and he gently patted her back and bounced her as he walked. 

“I hate to miss the end of the show, but we should get her home, Emu.” Tsukasa told her as they watched people file back into the amphitheater.  

“That’s alright! She worked really hard to make sure that everything would be perfect, it’s only natural that she’d be tired afterwards.” 

Tsukasa smiled, stepping forward to give Emu a hug. “Thank you for doing this, Emu. Really, Chiaki loves you.” 

Emu hugged him back, a bit too tightly. A few bones might’ve been cracked… “Anytime…! I’ve been working a lot more lately so… I had a lot of fun, this show felt really special…”

Emu pulled away from Tsukasa and turned to Rui, hugging him much gentler so as to not wake Chiaki. 

She led them to the front gates, and waved goodbye until she couldn’t see them anymore. 

While their apartment didn’t have enough space for a grand piano, Tsukasa was able to fit a smaller keyboard in the corner of their living room. He’d play it occasionally, when he had the house to himself, or when he just needed to keep himself busy. 

Other times, Chiaki would ask him to play for her so she could watch. She loved the sound of the piano, and she’d watch intently as his fingers moved up and down the keys with seemingly no difficulty at all. 

Once he was finished, she begged him to teach her how to play, too.

So he went over the basics; note names, sharps and flats, finger placements, and pedals (which Chiaki couldn’t reach). 

Chiaki couldn’t read sheet music either, so Tsukasa figured he’d have to teach her visually. He took a black marker and labeled the keys on the keyboard with their note names, which would hopefully help her memorize them. 

He picked her up and sat her on his lap, resting his fingers atop the keys and telling her to lay her hands on top of his. He began to play the same song as before, but much slower. Chiaki tried to follow along, but he was still playing too fast and the melody was just a bit too complex. 

He finished again, and Chiaki pushed down on the keys. “I want to play!” 

So, Tsukasa sat her next to him on the bench again. “Alright, let’s try something easier.”

He used only one hand and began playing a simple melody, singing the note names as he played them. 

It was a simple five notes from a lullaby that he had sung to her when she was a baby. 

She echoed him a few times, and then did it on her own. She excitedly looked up when she finished, and he smiled back at her. “Good! Can you do it one more time?”

As she prepared to play it again, Tsukasa brought his other hand to the keys and played a harmony. 

He couldn’t help but chuckle at how determined she was, even if she was only playing with one finger. 

She finished again, and beamed up at Tsukasa. “Can you play the whole thing? I remember the words.”

Tsukasa obliged, and Chiaki crawled back onto his lap to watch. 

“Ready?” 

Chiaki nodded, and took a deep breath. “Mori mo iyagaru, Bon kara saki nya—“  

Chiaki actually sang quite well, and surprisingly remembered all the lyrics to the lullaby that she probably hadn’t heard for years. 

During the second verse, Tsukasa felt a hand against his shoulder. Rui sat down next to him on the bench, singing along and harmonizing with Chiaki. 

Once the song was over, Chiaki turned around to hug Tsukasa. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he kissed her once on the cheek. 

Rui rested his arm against Tsukasa’s waist, pulling him closer. “You have to teach me now, too, Kabochi.” 

Chiaki’s eyes lit up at that, and she turned to face the piano once more. She explained the different notes, the sharps and flats, and finger placements to Rui just as Tsukasa had explained to her. 

Though, Tsukasa wasn’t quite sure she knew what she was talking about. 

Along with occasionally being an extra in movies and TV shows, Tsukasa would also be booked to model various clothes and jewelry. 

“Okay, how do I look?” Tsukasa asked, stepping out of his dressing room. 

He was dressed in a blue turtleneck sweater, and a long black coat. His pants were baggy and cuffed at his ankles, revealing shiny platform loafers. 

He had on various silver necklaces and rings, and a dangly faux-diamond earring on his left ear. 

It wasn’t a very flashy or groundbreaking outfit, but he looked really good in it. 

Rui and Chiaki had been waiting for him to get changed so that he could start the shoot, and both of their expressions brightened when he finally stepped back out of the dressing room. 

“You look very handsome.” Rui said, slowly rising to his feet as his cheeks flushed pink. 

He was crushing. Hard. 

They’d been together for over ten years now. They were married. They had a daughter. And yet… 

Tsukasa still gave him butterflies.

He still made him blush, still made his heart skip a beat, still managed to make him as giddy as he did when they were in high school. 

Even after all that time had passed, Rui had only fallen harder. Every second of every day, he fell more and more in love with him. 

“You’re blushing.” Tsukasa said, laughing under his breath. 

“I can’t help it.” Rui reached out his hands, gently tucking stray pieces of Tsukasa’s hair behind his ear. “You make me crazy.”

Tsukasa pushed himself up onto his toes to kiss Rui on the cheek. “You said that same thing on graduation day. Do you remember?” 

Of course he remembered, but he was shocked that Tsukasa did, too. 

Tsukasa, as forgetful as he was, remembered the exact words that Rui had said to him years ago on the roof. He found himself blushing again. 

After one more kiss on the cheek, Tsukasa had pushed himself away and began to walk into the studio. “Kabochi, do I look okay?” 

Chiaki trailed close behind him, reaching for his hand. “You look kind of cool.” 

“Oi…” He bent down and scooped her up, tickling her sides as she laughed. “Just kind of!?”

…

The photoshoot had gone by fairly quickly. Once Tsukasa was finished with it, they took the train back home. 

It was sunset by the time they left, and the train car was painted a soft orange. Chiaki was sat in Tsukasa’s lap, his arms wrapped loosely around her. Both of them were fast asleep. 

Rui wrapped his arm around Tsukasa’s back to keep him from slumping over, and his head fell against Rui’s shoulder.  

As he watched them sleep, he swore he could’ve pinched himself. Because this must’ve been a dream. 

His husband and his daughter were sitting right next to him. Everything he’d ever wanted— everything he’d dreamt of having was right next to him, being rocked to sleep by the motion of the train. 

And even now, as Tsukasa snored quietly with his mouth hung open, Rui was still completely enamored. 

He leaned down, kissing Tsukasa’s forehead. His hair was a bit stiff with hairspray, but still smelled like the sweet rosewater shampoo that he’d wash it with in the mornings. “I love you…” 

Tsukasa didn’t respond, but he wasn’t expecting him to. He nuzzled against Rui’s shoulder. 

Looking back on it… Rui thought to himself. I thought, for the longest time, that I was content with being alone.

He smiled, looking down at Tsukasa. When I met you, all of that changed. You proved me wrong. You opened my eyes to things I had never even considered before.

He reached out and gently took Tsukasa’s hand.

“I love you.” He repeated, quietly. 

Chiaki started to stir in his husband’s lap, and she rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. “Daddy…? Are we home yet…?” 

“Not yet, Kabochi.” Rui reached over and lifted her up, sitting her down in his own lap so that he could hold her. 

When Chiaki was born, they’d spend entire nights next to her crib. Though, it wasn’t because she would cry, since she was actually quite a heavy sleeper. 

But just to take it all in. 

Because it was really happening. 

In that crib was a little baby girl. Their little baby girl.  

And now, that little girl was drifting off to sleep with her head resting against Rui’s chest. 

She’d grown so much in just a few years, just thinking about it made Rui feel a bit emotional. 

He wanted to hold onto this for as long as he could, for as long as time allowed him to. Until he physically couldn’t anymore. 

This was his home, he belonged here. It felt… right. Perfect, even. 

He’ll never let go of it. Not even for a second. 

Chiaki had drifted back to sleep after a while, and as the train pulled into the station Rui didn’t have the heart to wake them. He laid Chiaki back down against Tsukasa’s chest and carefully picked them both up at once, carrying them all the way back home. 

After briefly struggling to unlock the door, he brought them inside and gently laid both of them down on the bed. He carefully draped the blankets over them, kissing them goodnight. 

He lingered in the doorway for a moment. 

And to think… A chance encounter led to this…

Was it really chance…? Was his luck really that good? 

Whether chance or fate— it didn’t matter. 

His story had gotten its happily ever after. 

And he was able to sleep well at night knowing that.