Chapter Text
BEP BEP BEP
The loud noise of the alarm awakes Kageyama. Slowly, he opens one eye, searching for the clock on the nightstand.
The room is pretty dark, so the dim light from the clock numbers is easily distinguishable; it shows 4:00 am. Moving his arm, he taps the top of it and the noise disappears.
The sound of a slow breathing replaces the noise. Kageyama shifts position to look at the still asleep Hinata.
“Oi,” He shakes Hinata’s shoulder, “Get up. You’re going to miss the flight.”
Hinata groans and wraps Kageyama with his arms. He shortens the small space between them, embracing Kageyama tight. Kageyama smiling embraces him too.
“Ten minutes more please,” Hinata says, voice muffled by Kageyama’s shirt.
“If I let you sleep more, you’ll never wake up,” He replies stroking his hair.
Hinata can be so energetic and loud on the day, but in the early mornings always behaves like a sloth. This fact had surprised Kageyama the first time they slept together a long time ago. For this reason, when they have to go out early Kageyama has to put a lot of effort to wake him up. Unless it’s something Hinata truly wants to do, because then he’s the first one to jump out of bed.
Kageyama loosens his embrace and pushes him backwards.
“Get up or I’m going to kick you out of bed.”
“Yes yes, one minute.” Taking his time, Hinata releases Kageyama and sits on the mattress with half open eyes.
He yawns and moves his feet out of the bed. Dragging his steps, he goes to the bathroom.
“Hurry or I’ll make you take that plane with only your underwear on.” Kageyama sits, watching the sluggish man.
“Yeah, I know,” Hinata replies annoyed, closing the bathroom door.
Soon the sound of water falling on the tube fills the room.
Kageyama stretches himself and lays back. What a pain in the ass, he thinks staring the ceiling and listening the erratic sound of water in the bathroom.
***3 months earlier***
“Tobio… I want to do something different this summer,” Hinata says, rolling on the couch to look at Kageyama, who is laying on the floor.
“Like what?” He says without diverting his gaze from his magazine.
“I don’t know. I don’t like our routine… we barely see each other now.”
“There isn’t anything we can do about it. And I haven’t heard you complain.”
“I’m complaining now,” Hinata frowns, “Look, I know you like to keep things under control, but I want to spend more time with you.”
“Mmhm,” Kageyama stares the magazine without reading it.
“Forget what I said,” Hinata stands up, “What a jerk,” He mutters going to the bedroom.
However, Kageyama doesn’t forget. Pondering what Hinata had said he decides to do something nice for once, after all even when he doesn’t show it he misses Shouyou much more than he cares to admit. He searches for a good place where he believes both of them can have fun. That’s how the idea of going to Miyakojima appears.
“Shouyou,” Kageyama whispers a night a few days later, “Are you awake?”
He rests on his side to look at Hinata, but the latter shows him his back.
“Maybe,” Hinata replies.
“Are you still mad?”
“No.” He doesn’t move from his spot.
Kageyama rolls his eyes. Going faster to the point will improve his mood.
Truth be told, Kageyama craves for affection, but Hinata had just ignored him most of the time these days. So, this idea will help both of them to get what they want.
“You know where Miyakojima is?”
Hinata turns to his other side and looks back, eyes full of curiosity.
“No, is that a place?”
“Mhmm, an island in the south of Japan. I saw some pictures and looks nice,” Kageyama moves his gaze to the sheet, “We… could go there if you want.”
“Really?!” Hinata jumps and hugs him, “I knew you couldn't be such a jerk,” He says grinning.
A week after that everything is planned. They decide a date for the travel and who was going to do what.
The next weeks Hinata’s mood indeed improves, and Kageyama smiles just looking at him.
But… not everything can be that perfect.
One month before their travel, Kageyama decides to take a look at their plane tickets, just to be sure everything is in order.
“Shouyou,” He growls after reading all the paper.
“Hm?” Hinata replies confused by his boyfriend scowl.
“These are our plane tickets?” Kageyama shows him the two pieces of paper.
“Yes. Are you blind or what?” He doesn’t understand what is wrong. He printed the tickets just how they told him to do so.
“Please look the date of the flight.”
“I don’t know wh-“ As soon as he sees closely the date printed, he smacks his forehead, “That’s why they were cheaper.”
“Ugh, I can’t believe you bought tickets for next year.” Kageyama drags his hand over his eyes.
“Don’t worry. We still can change them, don’t we?” Hinata smiles sheepishly.
They try to do it as soon as they can, but the airline just had seats for different days in the week they wanted to travel. At the end (after Kageyama bickers with Hinata for being a moron) they accept what the airline offered: Hinata will take a flight first and Kageyama will have to do it the next day.
***Present***
Kageyama shifts uncomfortable and sits on the bed again, anxious for some reason. Maybe I’m worried about Shouyou going alone? No… that’s stupid. He lays again.
For a moment he falls asleep, but a noise on the bathroom awakes him; it sounded like Hinata had hit something.
Realizing that staying on bed won’t help him to remain awake, he goes out of it and stretches again. He decides to do something quick to eat, that would keep his brain working with something, plus Shouyou probably is as hungry as he is.
After taking a quick glance to their kitchen he decides that some toasts and an omelet look appealing. He yawns repeatedly while making them.
When Hinata’s omelet looks ready he puts it on a plate and turns around grabbing his plate. He stops at the moment his eyes see what was behind him; Hinata has his head resting on his arms, sleeping again. He sighs and puts the dishes on the table, sitting in front of him.
If only he didn't move or kick at night, he would look cuter.
Kageyama shakes Hinata’s shoulder again.
“Oi, dumbass. I already told you to wake up.”
“I’m awake!” Hinata says straightening up quickly on the chair.
“Sure.” Kageyama takes his bread and starts eating. “What time was when you fell asleep?” He asks after swallowing.
“Not sure.” Hinata yawns, and takes the fork but doesn’t do anything with it. “I went to bed a while after you, but couldn’t fall asleep immediately.”
That’s not odd, Kageyama thinks. Usually, Hinata moves and bothers him a lot before finally falling asleep.
“Are you scared?” He asks, noticing some uneasiness on Hinata’s eyes.
“What?! No!... No?... Maybe.” Hinata pinches the omelet.
“Why?”
“I don’t know… I don’t like the idea of going alone. It’ll be boring.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow and I’m sure you’ll befriend someone before I get there.” Kageyama leans closer and kisses his forehead. “It’ll be okay.”
Before Kageyama can react, Hinata lifts his head and kisses him on the lips.
“Now I feel a little better.” Hinata grins and starts eating with more energy. “Fanks!” He says with his mouth full.
That’s not fair, Kageyama blushes. Even though Hinata does those kinds of things sometimes, he still can’t get used to them; almost all the time it takes him by surprise.
Kageyama sits again and continue eating his food, a bit flustered.
When they empty their dishes, Kageyama puts them on the sink to clean them while Hinata goes for his luggage. He comes back and throws it near the entrance.
Hinata plops on the couch before starting to talk about all the things he wants to do when they get to Miyakojima.
“- and I want to search for seashells to bring home. We must go to that shop we saw on the internet the other day, remember? The food looked amazing-” His phone starts buzzing, so he answers. The room stays quiet for a moment. “Okay, I’m going.”
Kageyama wipes his hands and goes closer to Hinata, who already got up from the couch. Kageyama hugs him and rests his chin on the top of Hinata’s head.
“See you tomorrow then,” Kageyama says. Hinata smiles and hugs him back.
“Hey Tobio.”
“Hmm?”
“Let me see your face.”
“Why?” He asks separating a little from Hinata.
As soon as Kageyama takes a glimpse of his eyes, Hinata closes them and stands on his tiptoes, hitting his lips with Kageyama’s. He kisses him moving his lips slowly.
Kageyama is surprised by the sudden motion, but the softness of Hinata’s lips makes him relax immediately and close his eyes.
Hinata clenches Kageyama’s shirt by the shoulders, he still doesn’t want to go alone.
“Hey, you-” Kageyama tries to say after a minute, but Hinata smacks their lips again. Kageyama pushes him back, trying to breath. “The taxi… is waiting for you. I’m going to see you tomorrow. It’s not so much time.”
“That doesn’t matter.” Hinata giggles letting Kageyama go.
He goes to the entrance and puts his shoes on. Taking his suitcase and bag, opens the door. “I love you! I’ll miss you, bye!” He waves.
“Don’t make a mess in the room before I get there!” Kageyama says waving and smirking.
“Can’t promise anything!” Hinata laughs, and closes the door.
The apartment stays silent. Definitely everything seems more alive when Shouyou is here.
Kageyama yawns once more and goes back to bed, pulling all the covers over his head.
“It’s alright,” He mutters, “I’ll see him tomorrow.”
---
Hours later Kageyama awakes again. The sunlight lights all the room now.
He glances to the clock, which has 10:32 illuminated. Kageyama sits on the bed and stares at his side; the place where Hinata always sleeps.
He should be in Naha by now, Kageyama thinks stretching his arms.
It’s odd for him waking up alone. After almost a year of waking entangled with Hinata, he got used to it and now he kind of misses it.
He looks at his phone and finds a message notification.
From: Shouyou
I’ll call you as soon as I arrive at Naha’s airport
You better be awake by that time!!
Kageyama smiles. Hinata had sent it near the departure time, and this means that he should call soon.
He takes a shower and when he finishes, 15 minutes later, checks his phone again. However, Hinata hadn’t called yet.
He doesn’t worry about it too much though. Probably he had to rush to take the other plane, he thinks, He’s going to call when he arrives in Miyakojima.
Kageyama goes to the living room and stares it. Strangely he doesn’t feel hungry, so eat is discarded. He doesn’t want to watch TV, but the apartment is so quiet that it bothers him a little.
At the end, he chooses to go for a jog. That way he would kill time until lunch.
Outside the air is fresh and clear. He enjoys days like this, because their perfect for running.
Almost every morning he goes jogging for a couple of hours, he has to be in shape if he wants to last on the volleyball practice after all. Hinata most of the time goes with him, but half of those times they end up competing against each other.
A while later he enters a park. Some children are playing and a couple of persons are there, but it’s really peaceful.
Kageyama’s phone starts ringing, so he stops to checks if it’s Shouyou. Instead he founds the name of Nishinoya on the identifier.
“Yes?”
“Hey Kageyama! How are you?” The cheerful voice of his senpai greets him.
“Fine, thanks… Why are you calling me?” He would be lying if he says he isn’t surprised.
“I want to talk with Shouyou, but he doesn’t answer his phone. Can I talk with him?”
“I’m not with him now.”
“Oh, so where is he then?”
“In a flight to Miyakojima.”
“Really? Why is he going alone?”
“He made a mistake and we had to buy tickets for different days.”
“Oooohhh,” Nishinoya says with a teasing voice, “Going to a love trip?”
Kageyama gets shocked by the straightforwardness of his friend. “You know what? Yes, that’s the idea.” He blushes.
“Hah, good for you guys! I remember my first trip with Asahi… It was great.”
They stay silent for a couple of seconds. How I reply to that? Kageyama thinks.
“Okay, tell Shouyou I called please,” Nishinoya continues.
“No problem.”
“Bye! Have a nice trip!”
“Bye.”
Kageyama hangs out and stare his phone. What Nishinoya has said about Hinata not answering his phone awakes an uneasy feeling inside him. He goes to his contacts list and presses call on Hinata’s name.
“The number you’re trying to communicate is currently out of service, please try later,” Is what he gets almost instantly.
He stares again at his phone. That’s weird, he checks the hour, He must have arrived at the airport. That dumbass probably ran out of battery. Kageyama puts his phone on his pocket.
He doesn’t think about it more. Knowing him, that’s likely what happened.
---
An hour later, Kageyama closes his apartment door.
He pulls out his shoes, staring the empty living room. The quietness of the place somehow disturbs him. He remembers not a while ago, when Hinata went out for a couple of days, feeling like this too.
I just miss him, it’s nothing serious, He tells to himself, but the feeling doesn’t go.
Kageyama showers again and puts clean clothes on.
His stomach growls, so he goes to the kitchen thinking what he can have for lunch. There aren’t many options though. They would need to restock their fridge when they come back.
Kageyama decides to cook rice and boil some eggs, fast and easy. Later he would go to the store and pick something to have for dinner.
He turns on the rice cooker and puts the eggs on a boiling pot. Then, sitting on a chair, he waits for the food to be done.
Kageyama isn’t that great cooking, but is enough to make good food. He lets Hinata cook sometimes, and he’s not that bad either, but there’re times when Hinata forgets he’s cooking and ends burning all the food.
When the rice and eggs are done, he puts them on a bowl. That’s when he notices that he made rice for two. He’s so used to put the same amount on the cooker that now he just went with it. He glares at the remaining rice.
Resigned he lets it there. He would have rice again for dinner.
Kageyama accommodates himself in front of the TV and turns it on, trying to avoid the silence.
He starts changing channels; nothing looks interesting to him. At last, Kageyama stops on a random channel that has a documentary about the North Pole.
He eat slowly, the program is boring.
Hinata should be in Miyakojima by now. What could he be doing? Ignoring completely the polar bears, he imagines Hinata running to the beach.
A change of music interrupts his thoughts.
The news opening appears on the screen. A well dressed woman appears next, with a serious expression.
“We interrupt our show to bring you more information about this morning plane disappearance,” She says, “Our reporter is already on the airport to tell us more about it.”
The screen splits in two, showing a man with a microphone near his face. Kageyama watches uninterested.
“Yes, I’m here at Haneda Airport, where the Boeing 737-800 started its flight to Naha Airport.” At the mention of the airports were Hinata had been, and he should go tomorrow, he pays more attention. “I had been informed that the plane took off at 7:40 on the morning.”
Kageyama puts the bowl down and stares shocked. Hinata’s flight was near that hour.
“At some point during the flight, the pilot sent an emergency call to the tower in Naha airport, but when the tower asked what was wrong the pilot didn’t answer back. Two hours passes after the plane’s scheduled arrival and the tower continued without receiving any more news or communication with him. In that moment the personal informed the airline about the plane disappearance. We still don’t have any more information about the whereabouts of the plane. The airport’s spokesman is going to give us more information about it in a few more minutes, so-”
Kageyama leaves the bowls aside, ignoring the woman asking more things to the reporter, and rushes to his bedroom.
It’s another plane, it’s another plane. It’s just a coincidence, he recites while searching for his phone. When he founds it another thing repeats on his head. Please answer, answer. Then he presses ‘call’.
“The number you’re trying to communicate is currently out of service, please try later.”
“Fuck, no.” Kageyama mutters, a chill feeling starts on his chest and expands towards every part of his body. He tries again, but the same voice message repeats.
He stares the floor a few minutes, hearing the muffled voices of the TV in the other room. He goes back to hear clearly what they’re saying.
“-to give a new report about the accident,” The reporter talks rushed.
A second later, the camera focuses on a man walking to a platform. A lot of microphones are put on the podium where the man stands. He looks irritated and tired.
“Please silence,” He says with a low voice and everyone goes quiet. He observes to both sides of the camera, surely looking at everyone on that room. “Since the first report a few hours ago, we hadn’t received any more information regarding the status or location of the airplane. We had been informed that the only message that the pilot sent was a mayday call. The personal on Naha Airport communication tower can’t locate the exact position of the plane on that moment yet; they’re trying to fix that. The government has already sent searching parties to the normal route of the flight, no news from them had been received. The airline gave us the names and information of the passengers on the plane. We’re communicating with their families and asking them if they can come here in case that more information appears in the course of the day. That’s all I can tell for now. If more important data comes out, we’ll communicate it to the families first and then if it’s needed to the rest of the media. Thanks for listening.”
Without looking at anyone or hearing the waves of question from the reporters, the man goes down and disappears from the screen.
It’s another plane, Kageyama repeats on his head again. He doesn’t answer because he’s idiot and forgot to charge his phone. Now, he’s talking with someone on the hotel and is fine.
“Our personal sources,” Kageyama hears the voice of the reporter again, “Affirm us that on the plane were 160 persons without counting the crew. They also said-”
Kageyama turns off the TV and drops the remote control on the couch.
Its fine, its fine… If they call his family, they’re going to tell me right? He doesn’t want to call them and ask about it, if they don’t know anything yet… it would be an awful misunderstanding. Maybe that’s all it is and Shouyou is fine.
This last thought calms him a bit. He remembers that his bowl of food still exists and takes it.
It’s kind of cold, so trying to distract himself from the news he goes to heat it on the microwave.
He puts it inside and starts the machine.
“Its fine, he’s fine.”
His phone starts ringing. He picks it and answers without checking the identifier.
“Hello?”
“Kageyama-kun,” A concerned voice speaks. Please, please. It’s a mistake. That’s Shouyou’s mom voice. “We- I received a call letting me know that… Shouyou was in a airplane that disappeared.”
Kageyama freezes. A thousand of thoughts cross his head, but they got stuck on their good bye that morning. He hadn’t replied Hinata’s I love you.
No no no no no.
“They asked me to go to the airport… and I thought to tell you to go too. He was- is important to both of us after all.”
“Okay, em… I’ll go out now.” Kageyama’s voice comes out like a whisper.
“I’ll go with Natsu. She answered the phone and they told her that something happened. Please… help me with her."
“I’m… going to try.”
“We’ll get there in three hours, so if they tell anything send me a message please.”
“Of course.”
“See you…”
She hangs up, but Kageyama still has the phone on his ear. He’s overwhelmed by denial, thinking over and over again that this can’t be really happening.
The annoying beeping coming from the microwave makes him react again.
“I need to go now,” He claims to himself.
Kageyama puts the phone in his pocket and rushes to find his keys and wallet.
---
The taxi stops and Kageyama slams the bills on the driver's hand shouting to keep the change. He sprints to the entrance of the airport.
All the way here the only that repeated on his mind was that he didn’t want this morning good bye to be the last time he would see Hinata. The concern growed more when the only that the radio talked about was the disappeared plane, also the taxi driver tried to make small talk about the same topic.
Once inside, Kageyama looks over for a place to ask about the accident. Despite the amount of people, he continues walking fast between them trying to find someone that could help him.
He passes through people walking or running in all directions, people waiting at the exit gate, people registering and people hugging each other; this last ones bothers him more.
With every step he glances everywhere, luckily he’s tall and can take a look without major problems. In the corner of his eye he sees an information counter, he changes direction and rushes to it.
“Excuse me!” Kageyama gasps, making the lady on it look at him, “I’m… I came for the… to know more about the disappeared plane.”
“You’re related to one of the passengers?” She asks toneless. A lot of people had asked the same in the last couple of hours and half of those were reporters. She was sick of them by now.
“Well, kind of. I’m the boyfriend.”
“I’m sorry sir. I can give information to close relatives only,” She says returning his gaze to the computer in front.
“But I have the right to know too! They’re coming here now, but it will take them like 2 hours more to arrive.” Kageyama leans on the counter a little.
“Sorry, but that’s the policy. You don’t have an idea of the amount of people who had come saying things like that and ended up being reporters,” she speaks without looking at him.
Kageyama drags a hand over his hair. That’s a stupid policy.
Noticing that the lady won’t tell him more, he goes to sit on a near bench.
Kageyama puts her elbows on his legs, his hands covering his face.
Why this happened now? Why to us?
He hears rolling wheels, dragging steps, people chatting and the voice speaker announcing the soon take off of a delayed plane. All of them its background noise to his thoughts, he just want to see the only person that he grew to care… and love. Really love.
Stupid, why you didn’t said him that you loved him? I can’t believe that the last thing I told him was to not make a mess on the hotel room…
He regrets every choice he made before Hinata left this morning.
In the next couple of hours Kageyama hears a lot of people asking information about the plane. He pays attention to all the conversations and answers that reach his ears, but almost everyone says what he heard on the news. If more information was given to those people he didn’t hear it, because after a few minutes they took the relatives to another place.
He still has his face covered, so he doesn’t realize that a little girl is running towards him.
“Kageeeyaaamaaa!” The girl shouts.
Startled by someone yelling his name, Kageyama lifts his head.
A ten years old girl with bright orange hair tied at the back is making her way through the people gathered here and there, pushing aside anyone who crossed her path.
“Natsu?” Kageyama says standing up. ‘They told her that something happened,’ the voice of Hinata-san echoes on his head.
Natsu collides with Kageyama, hugging his waist.
“Where is my big brother? The woman on the phone said that something happened to him, but mom doesn’t want to tell me.” She looks at him teary-eyed.
The first impression of Kageyama is surprise by how much Natsu had grown. He hadn’t seen her since a year ago and now she reaches his waist. He asks himself if she would be taller than Shouyou. Now it’s not the time to be thinking about that, he shakes his head.
“You won’t tell me either?” Natsu asks after seeing Kageyama move his head.
“It’s… complicated.” He looks away, searching for her mother.
She appears seconds after, behind some tourists. She pushes them aside and then rushes her steps in their direction.
“Natsu! Don’t run away like that!” She says once she’s closer.
Natsu loosens his grip and face his mom. “Sorry…” She mutters.
“Kageyama-kun,” she says worried, “They have told you something?”
“No, they say that only close relatives can get the information,” He frowns looking at the information desk.
With a serious expression she goes near the counter; Natsu and Kageyama behind her. A different woman is taking care of it now.
“Hi. I’m the mother of one of the passengers in the plane that disappeared.”
“What’s your name miss?”
She says her name and shows her ID when asked to do so. The woman searches on her computer and then looks back at her.
“Everything looks in order. We hadn’t received more information about the plane location, but there’s a search party looking for it now.”
Kageyama had heard the same thing over and over while he was sat.
“All the relatives are on a room where they can have more information as soon as it comes out. Who are with you?”
“This is my daughter,” Hinata-san puts her hand on Natsu’s shoulder, “And this is… my nephew,” she point to Kageyama.
Kageyama looks wide-eyes to her, but tries to hide his surprise.
The woman examines them closely, the mom and the daughter had different hair but the face was similar, on the contrary the man didn’t look related in any way to them. She decides to just let it pass. She gestures to a security guard that is near the desk, he approaches them immediately.
“This man is going to take all of you to the room I talked about,” She says, “please leave them in the big room for emergencies.” She tells to the guard.
Kageyama breathes relieved. He’s not sure if she believed the lie, but at least he can stay.
The guard leads them to a building not far from where they were. They go to the second floor and he opens one of the two connected doors that are near the end of the hall. He motions to them to go in.
They step inside and the door closes immediately. The room is huge, Kageyama compares it with the gym at Karasuno, but this is definitely larger. One of the walls is made of glass, letting see part of the runaway.
A lot of chairs are distributed among the room; a few of them are already occupied.
The people inside are doing all sort of things; crying, coming back and forth the room or just sat, are some of them.
They sit on a row of seats afar from the entrance. Natsu stands up after a few seconds.
“So, Kageyama, you’re my cousin now?” She sniffs grinning.
“It seems that way,” He says and ruffles her hair. Natsu shoves his hand away with a low ‘don’t do that’.
“It was the only way I thought they would let you come,” Hinata-san says, “I couldn’t leave you there… I can’t do this alone…” She’s looking the floor with a smile, but his eyes look sad.
“But mom, I’m here too,” Natsu says sad.
“I know sweetie,” She smiles at her.
Kageyama thinks he knows what she means, but stays quiet.
He looks all over the room. He can’t believe yet this is really happening.
This seems so unreal, everything was fine this morning. And now he could be wounded or-, He halts his train of thoughts, dead.
“Kageyama, you’re scowling,” Natsu tells him.
“Really?” He tries to soften his expression.
Natsu’s gaze goes between Kageyama and his mom. She opens and closes her mouth, like wanting to say something.
“What's the matter Natsu?” Her mom asks kindly.
“Will- My brother will come back, right?” It sounds more like a plea than a question.
None of them dare to answer her.
What’s better? Telling the truth (we aren’t sure. Maybe, maybe not) or lying (of course! We just have to wait).
Natsu fidgets with her shirt waiting for an answer.
“Why don’t you go and play with those kids?” Hinata-san suggests putting a hand on her shoulder and pointing towards a group of five kids playing some sort of game.
Natsu looks at them curiously, and then doubtful at her mother. “Fine,” She accepts after a couple of seconds.
She approaches them and soon joins their game.
“That’s going to distract her for a while.” Hinata-san sighs looking the kids play.
“I think it’s better than a lie… and maybe the truth,” Kageyama says looking the floor.
“We have to stay positive!” She shouts suddenly, startling Kageyama. “Maybe the pilot was able to do something and they’re safe and sound somewhere. I have heard of pilots making risky emergency lands and saving a lot of people.” Her eyes light up with her words.
Silence fell between them. The conversations from other families, some too negative for Hinata-san last comment, are all they hear.
“So, umm… How things are going for you two? I haven’t seen you in a while.”
She must be trying to distract herself… I need to stop thinking in the worst yet.
“Mmm. I think things are fine. Even though we’re in vacations, we’re working almost full time, so we only see each other at night. That’s why we were going to Miyakojima.”
“And you don’t go out?” Hinata-san asks. “I mean, you live in Tokyo. There’re a lot of places to go.”
“Sometimes, but its crowded and I like being at home.” Kageyama recalls Shouyou saying the same words than his mom months ago. He smiles at the memory.
“How boring,” she laughs, “And Shouyou adapted well to the life in the city?
“It wasn’t a trouble for him. Kozume help us too, so it wasn’t that hard. However, he sucks at finding streets and usually gets lost, but we managed it somehow.”
*** 10 months ago***
“I told you to find me near Shibuya Station!” Kageyama snarls into the phone.
“I know I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I went in the other direction.” Hinata’s voice apologizes.
“What other direction?! You ended in a different line! I can’t believe I’m dating a dumbass like you.” He rubs his temples.
“What are you talking about? You get lost a lot too,” Hinata objects. “Remember that time when I have to rescue you from-”
“Don’t remind me,” Kageyama sighs, “Wait there, I’m going to that station. Don’t move!”
“I know, I know. But since you’re coming here we can go to a shop that sells waffles! It’s really close.”
“Just… We’ll see.”
“Pfff, you sound like my mom.”
“If I were your mom I would leave you there!” Kageyama shouts and hangs up.
He knows that they would go to that shop anyway.
***Present**
“And how’s living with him?” Hinata-san says interrupting Kageyama’s memories.
“Not that difficult,” He replies coming back to the conversation, “We split the chores, but since Shouyou burned two pots I do most of the cooking. No one was hurt though,” He clarifies when Shouyou’s mom furrows her brow, “Except maybe the pots.”
Hinata-san laughs at his commentary. “That sounds like something he would do. Once, he tries to give me a surprise for my birthday but forgot he had a cake on the oven. After that, the kitchen smelled up for a week,” She laughs again covering her mouth with her hand. “You continue seeing the boys of the Volleyball Club?”
“Once in a while. But almost all of them went to different places, so it’s difficult. When we can do it though, you should see how excited Shouyou looks.”
“I’m glad he found good friends at Karasuno.” Hinata-san comments to herself.
“He always had friends to hang out with though,” Kageyama can’t restrain to say.
“That’s true, but since he discovered volleyball nobody shared his passion for it. He looked happy back then, but I know he tried hard not to fall in desperation. When he started going to Karasuno his mood improved, and I saw that he was truly happy. Don’t look at me like that! It’s the truth.”
Kageyama hadn’t realized that he’s looking at her with an eyebrow raised in disbelief.
“I know what you’re thinking,” She continues, “He struggled a lot too. He always came back home complaining. But with the time things changed and he started telling us different things, good things, about the team and especially about you Kageyama-kun,” She teases. Kageyama feels his cheeks warming a little. “I’m really proud of him, he changed for the best. Both of you changed.” She ends lowering her voice.
“Why you say that?”
“Well, it’s pretty obvious if you ask me. It’s would be weird if after…” She stops trying to remember how much time had passed, “Two year of dating neither of you had an impact on the other. And before that, Shouyou spent a lot of time with you too! It’s not like both are different persons, it’s more…” She contemplates the ceiling, “Like one complement the other. At least that’s what I think relationships are essentially about.” She smiles at Kageyama.
“I’m not really sure if I can complement Shouyou in some way… I mean, before he suggested doing something different in summer I didn’t even thought about it… And since we started living together we fight more.” Kageyama isn’t sure why all the bad things he did in the last few months are coming back to him.
“I would be worried if that’s not the case,” She touch Kageyama’s knee, “Don’t worry about it now. I know that putting aside little fights, Shouyou was happy.” She leans back on her seat. “The last time he visited us and I asked how things were doing he didn’t say excellent. He said something similar, but he didn’t regret anything. He was sure that little things like that wouldn’t break up his relationship with you. I still remember the day he told him that he was going to live with you here! He was so excited by the idea. If one thing I’m sure is that he really loves you…” She looks sadly at her hands resting on her lap.
Kageyama feels something like a knot on his throat. This was supposedly help to distract Kageyama and Hinata-san, not making them feel worst.
“If he doesn’t come back-”
“No,” Kageyama interjects her, “Until someone tells me he’s dead, I’m not going to believe it.” The lump is there, but he suppresses it.
“You’re right,” She wipes some tears from her eyes, “Where my good mood went? I-”
Suddenly all the conversations are interrupted by the loud crying from the children. The kids start running, crying and shouting something.
Natsu comes sobbing and hiccupping. “Moom! Hi-Hitoshi said Th-that everyone w-wa-was dead and that the-they di-died painfully.” She cries louder and points to a boy sitting on the floor, where they were playing before. He looks pissed off. “Mom, tell m-me he’s lying. I wa-want to see my brother ag-gain.” She rubs her head on his mom’s shoulder.
Hinata-san hugs her. “Shh, it’s okay baby. I want to see you brother again, and I’m sure Kageyama-kun too.” Her voice is calm, but if it weren’t for his daughter she would be crying too.
Kageyama glares at the kid. He hasn’t moved and seems more pissed by all the crying and yelling from the others.
What the fuck, he must have like 12. What right he has to make cry other kids? Even if he’s upset he shouldn’t unleash his rage on others.
The child looks back at Kageyama. Flinching when he meets his gaze, he stands up and goes to hide behind a woman; she doesn’t look better than the other children crying.
Natsu had calmed down a bit. She separate from his mother and still hiccupping, asks when they can go home.
“I don’t know sweetie. We have to know where your brother is first.”
“Why are they ta-taking so long?” She blows his nose with a tissue that her mother gives her.
“I don’t know… we have to wait until someone tells us something.”
Natsu pouts, small tears going down his face. She doesn’t insist more.
She sits at her mom’s side and stares the floor, swinging her feet on the air.
Some of the other kids are still crying, and the people trying to calm them down don’t look better than them. The atmosphere of the room feels heavier due to them, probably the crying and the questions that the children had done made everyone inside feel more desperate.
More people had come in since the three of them arrived. The room appears to be fuller now, but there is space left for more to come.
When they’re going to say us something? Kageyama asks to himself, we have been here for a while now… well it’s not like I know how to track a whole missing plane…
Kageyama watches outside the windows. A plane is moving over the runaway, and going faster every second, little by little separating from the ground. He observes it until it’s far away from his gaze.
Things should have been different… this is my fault. He leans back and runs a hand over his face.
“Mom, I’m bored,” Natsu says after a while.
“What do you want to do?” Her mom asks.
“I don’t know. I want to play something.” She stares her lap.
“Here,” Kageyama takes out his phone, “Download a game and play.”
“Really?” Natsu eyes the phone.
“Sure.”
“Thanks Kageyama!” She beams, “There is this game I have wanted to try for a long time.” Grinning, she takes it and starts typing the screen.
“Are you sure? What happens if you run out of battery?” Hinata-san asks concerned.
“it’s alright. I’ll think in something if that happens.” Kageyama smiles at her.
She looks back fondly at him and then to Natsu.
Not so much is said after that. The room is so quiet that every whisper can be heard by everyone. Sobs sounds over here and there; by the appearances of the people inside it’s difficult to say if it’s from a child or an adult.
An hour and a half of uncomfortable silence later, the doors are wide open by someone.
All heads turn to the man going inside; two security guards walk beside him. He goes near the windows to a small platform.
“All of you can hear me?” He asks with a strong voice. The only answer he gets is silence and impatient looks. He bows and then starts speaking, “I’m Ishimiya Jooji, and I’m going to be the one giving information about the status of the plane search.” He gives a general look at the room. “Thanks to the hard work of the personal in Naha airport we managed to reduce the area where the plane could have crushed or landed,” He raises his voice to emphasized the ‘landed’ part, “We still aren’t sure what was the problem that the pilot detected, and the communication with the plane cut before the personal had the change to asks what was wrong. We haven’t received any news from the search parties sent by the government, and we already sent them the new locations that they need to go. The problem is that the night is already on us, so the possibilities of finding something today are decreasing. Probably the search parties are going to stop until tomorrow’s morning, when that happens I’ll come back and let all of you know. Thanks for your attention.”
He goes down the platform and tries to reach the door, but some people intercepts him and start yelling something.
Kageyama turns his head to look at his side. Hinata-san has tearful eyes which are looking to the floor. Natsu scowls at Ishimiya –who is talking with a couple of persons blocking the door –for a moment and turns his head toward the phone screen.
What can I say now? I’m not good comforting people.
“Hey Kageyama-kun,” Hinata-san says, “How was Shouyou the last time you saw him?” She doesn’t meet his gaze.
Kageyama thinks for a moment. He recalls his smiley face and the good-bye kiss; now he wishes it could have been longer.
“He was a little nervous, but he didn’t stop talking about the place we were going and what he wanted to do there. He… smiled all the time.”
She doesn’t ask more.
Kageyama knows she didn’t mean bad, but remembering again made the burden in his chest hurt more. He lowers his head and closes his eyes.
This is a bad dream. Everything is fine, Shouyou will come back and we’re going to have our vacations. We’re alright.
He waits a couple of minutes and opens his eyes. The large room full of gloomy people and the sad atmosphere crush the little hope he had.
He looks at the wall clock. It’s nearly eleven pm, how much time they will have us here?
A sound coming from the door calls his attention. It seemed that Ishimiya finally went out, but left enraged people behind.
He asks himself what kind of things they asked, but then ponders if he really wants to know the real answers to his questions.
He rubs his eyes, an attempt of stopping any tears from coming down.
Nothing is alright. This is my fault.
---
“The search was stopped until the sunlight comes back, so we won’t have more news from now,” Ishimiya says once he came back, past midnight, “I have been told that some of you won’t leave until know the location of you relatives. For that reason I talked with the assembly, and we arranged to let the ones who want the possibility to stay in the airport rest house. We coordinated your stay for this night and if things don’t go like planned we can extend it for another one. The receptionists at the rest house already have your names, so the ones who want to go now can do it. Tomorrow- Later today, we’ll deliver more information in this room too, see you all then.” He finishes and bows again.
Even before he can go down the platform, more people than before approaches him.
Almost everyone inside is tired or mad or both. Some people go out the room, evading the conflict between Ishimiya and the people surrounding him. The guards have to step inside and prevent that this could end with punches.
“I think we should go too,” Hinata-san says, “Natsu fell asleep an hour ago. She’ll be more comfortable on a bed.”
Natsu is sleeping soundly on her mother’s lap, Kageyama’s phone pressed tightly on his chest.
“Okay. I’ll take her,” Kageyama says standing up.
“Thanks. She’s getting bigger, and it’s difficult for me taking her. I’m sure that if I try to awake her, she’s going to make a ruckus.” She giggles stroking Natsu’s hair with one hand, and with the other taking Kageyama’s phone.
He puts it on his pocket once she handles it to him.
Kageyama lifts Natsu from her mom’s lap, one hand around her back and the other below her butt, so her face is supported by his shoulder.
They go to the door and close it, making the few shouts disappears.
Outside the building is a bit cold, but refreshing nevertheless. The air feels nice on their faces.
The light coming from the airport shows them clearly the street, and the way to the rest house.
“I feel better here than inside that room,” Hinata-san sighs, “Negative attitudes can be contagious.”
While they walk, only listening a few cars and people, a bit of the guilt trapped on Kageyama’s chest feels lighter.
They enter to the rest house and approach the reception, where other people are registering already.
When one of the receptionists becomes available, Hinata-san explains their situation and says her name. They look at a large list and when they find it, mark it with a circle.
“You have the room 204. After exiting the elevator, go to you left.”
“Thanks.” She says taking the key from the receptionist’s hand.
They don’t have troubles finding the room. Hinata-san unlocks the door and lets Kageyama go in first.
He steps inside and then stare wide-eyed the room. Hinata-san closes the door and stops at his side making the same look.
“Tch,” Kageyama clinches his tongue, “They were really generous,” He growls.
The room has just one large bed on a corner and a couch on the other; they’re separated by two meters. An empty desk with a chair is a few meters away from the bed, leaving some space to walk in between.
Kageyama frowns at the scene.
“Well, it could be worst,” Hinata-san says stepping between the couch and the bed. “At least they gave us a room.” She puts her hands on her waist.
Kageyama disagrees. They could have given us something a bit- no, a lot better. But I guess is this or the chairs on the airport… Then yes, could be worst.
Hinata-san pulls the covers back, and Kageyama –still growling to himself –puts Natsu on it.
“Mom, is my brother back now?” Natsu asks when her mom covers her.
“No sweetie,” She says with a caring voice, “We’re in a hotel. Try to sleep for now.”
“’kay”, Natsu manages to say before falling asleep again.
Her mom sighs for the eleventh time today.
“I’ll stay on the couch then,” Kageyama says plopping on it; smashing his face on a pillow.
Hinata-san giggles by his movement.
“Thank you Kageyama-kun.”
“By what?” He asks, voice muffled by the pillow, “The only I did was throwing myself here.”
“For don’t seem so desperate,” She sits on the bed, and the mattress does a weird noise. “If you were like the others I definitely couldn’t stay like this. I don’t know why, but it gives me some hope.”
Kageyama shifts, trying to make himself comfortable on the couch.
Maybe I don’t look desperate outside, but inside I’m a mess.
All the guilt that felt lighter before, feels heavier now. The knot on his throat and the burden on his chest, start hurting him.
“I said that until they tell me his dead, I’m not going to believe it,” He voices more to himself than to Hinata-san.
I just want him by my side. I want to hug him again.
He closes his eyes tightly, trying his best to not have more negative thoughts.
Remembering his favorite moments with Shouyou, he falls asleep.